


Crash Landing

by Lemon_Lime_0



Series: Patterns of Unpredictability [1]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Gold & Silver & Crystal | Pokemon Gold Silver Crystal Versions
Genre: Background Namelessshipping, Brief OFC(s)/Gold and OMC/Silver, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Relationships, F/F, Growing Up, M/M, Pining, Set from Gold's perspective, Slow Burn, basically canon compliant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2019-11-03 22:57:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 93,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17886734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lemon_Lime_0/pseuds/Lemon_Lime_0
Summary: Gold's slide from promising new champion into mediocrity. Somehow, he's okay with it.He might be far from perfect, but he's doing better than Silver and Kris....According to him, at least.





	1. Passive Aggressive

**Author's Note:**

> So! This is my first fic and I'm kinda? Nervous about it. This isn't even my first time writing this story but this is the first time I like it enough to post it.
> 
> Anyway! Some small notes:
> 
> •It's worth saying that this is NOT Pokespe. This is gameverse. Just so we're on the same page.
> 
> •In this fic, Green is (mostly) the female playable character from FR/LG and Blue is Red's rival and Oak's grandson. Green's personality is somewhat based on her manga counterpart with most inspiration from LG:PE.
> 
> •The beginning of this fic is set during Gold and Silver. Ethan and Lyra from HG/SS are different characters. I still don't know if they'll be in this or not.
> 
> •Heavy emphasis on the slow burn. This is mostly Gold's story, and romance isn't gonna be the focus. It'll be there though ofc, don't worry.
> 
> •Gold is kinda a brat at first, sorry. I imagine him as a rowdy kid.
> 
> Anyway! That's all I got. Hope you like it ówò

The ship rocks itself along the waves, the sound crashing against the side of the ship from above where they stay in their small room below deck. Outside, a school of Mantine swim off in the distance, heading west, towards the warm summer seas of Johto, with their young following close after. They’re the only things moving out in the vast expanse of blue, empty and quiet. Below them, the operations room makes the ship hum, the sound heavy and deep as it carries through the pipes, small vibrations echoing in the room. On the floor above are more passengers, those with rooms above the water level able to see the swooping Wingull and the sun descending on the horizon. They’re quiet, winding down for the day. The entire ship seeming to do the same.

 

Gold couldn’t be more bored if he _tried_.

 

Sea travel on anything but his Pokemon has never been his forte, the confinement and nerve-wracking bump of waves sets him on edge. The room is stuffy and growing smaller and smaller the harder he thinks. Not to mention, the S.S. Aqua is an inconvenient, long mode of transportation suited for old retirees and families on vacation and not for someone on the move like him.

 

He feels like a caged animal right now. His Pokemon probably feel like caged animals right now.

 

The sea outside darkens. The sun is setting more. They won’t arrive until tomorrow.

 

It might be in the morning. It might be in the afternoon.

 

Either way.

 

Time drags on.

 

The S.S. Aqua was slow. Painfully slow. Gold’s pretty sure he could’ve gone from home to the League to Viridian City and been on his merry way by now. He would’ve preferred that because at least he knows how fast he moves, when he’ll arrive, where exactly he is and where he will be.

 

They’re nowhere near their destination of Vermillion City, hours remaining cramped aboard this floating death trap, and Gold desperately wishes the Magnet Train wasn’t being inspected for yet another maintenance error so he could’ve taken that to Saffron instead. For something so many people rely on, it being broken most of the time was a huge waste of a valuable and important resource. He can’t remember a time where he’s been in Goldenrod and the train was down (at least the city’s subways were always functioning, but that should be expected).

 

Not that Gold would’ve liked that either. It’s another ride in a cramped space with too many people but at least it would’ve taken only a few hours and not over a day.

 

And the people here. Boy the people here.

 

The people on board are just as much of a letdown as the ship itself. When he first got offered the ticket, he naively believed that he was lucky enough to go on the S.S. Anne, a boring cruise ship with looks just the same, but unlike the Aqua it was a luxury liner filled with top class trainers he could truly break a sweat battling. He would've had people to challenge there at least. And he could’ve been up against some rare Pokemon he’s never seen before; that would’ve been cool.

 

But instead, here, he had fought everyone he could pester into a battle by dinner, and none of them looked eager to face him again. He had battled a fair share of variety too, from burly men in hiking gear, to beautiful women that made him blush when they called him cute, to criminals and burglars that made him question the safety precautions of the ship’s management. Even the sailors and ace trainers, who he expect to meet his expectations of strength and variety, got wiped by his team. It makes him wonder if maybe his Pokemon are getting too overleveled for normal battling. He sure hopes not

 

It’s bad enough the people suck at battling, but they’re stupid too, making him run around doing their errands, finding their children, scolding their coworkers, like he’s staff instead of some normal guest. He swears, every so-called adult he meets is just about as incompetent as the last.

 

His Pokegear can’t even get any service out here either. He’s trapped with these people.

 

The worst person aboard is, by far, the girl he’s been burdened with sharing a cabin with, who if he knew was tagging along, he never would’ve agreed to come. Even if it was the S.S. Anne.

 

He doesn’t know what it is about Crystal he doesn’t like, but it’s definitely something and just her presence has put him in a sour mood, so it’s her fault he’s so cranky.

 

Gold snaps out of his thoughts. He rubs his face with a quiet groan, tucking down his annoyance with this miserable venture for the time being. There’s more important, or interesting he supposes, things to focus on, like Crystal. He settles his gaze on her after glancing around the room a bit, still laying on his back; she doesn’t deserve his full attention. Yet.

 

So he watches her. She’s reading, the nerve of her, some heavy looking book on advanced something-or-other that Elm let her borrow from his lab while she lounges on the loveseat with her feet up, ignoring Gold’s existence entirely. Which is definitely fine by Gold, he doesn’t like her to begin with, but he's bored out of his mind and sure she's obnoxious but maybe bantering with her would make the seconds drag a little less. Is it worth it? It's probably not and he's not that desperate. Yet.

 

Maybe pettiness is more fun. He guesses he can to try to pass the time by thinking about things that annoy him about her, and it comes naturally. From her weird blue hair styled into ridiculous pigtails, to the way her face scrunches up in an ugly way whenever he sneers out Crystal instead of Kris like she likes, or the way she thinks she’s sooo smart and he’s nothing more than a halfwit brute. He amuses himself with that for a minute.

 

Then Gold thinks about what his mom would say, and promptly stops that train of thought. Mom’s right, he needs to work on his attitude. He feels like some schoolyard bully now and it cuts a bit, setting his happiness back a few more steps. Great.

 

Once again, he’s at a loss as to what to do. He sits up, stretching his arms with a quiet noise, then hesitates.

 

Crystal doesn’t look up.

 

He groans dramatically and flops back on the bed, sprawling his limbs out. Shifts them, the bed squeaking.

 

He looks up. Crystal doesn’t.

 

With a scowl, he scratches the back of his head as loud as he can, ignoring the pain from his nails. He sits up again, pulls off his hoodie, and throws it to the other side of the room. Smooths down his t-shirt. Clears his throat once, twice, whatever comes after twice.

 

Nothing. She looks a bit annoyed, but her attention remains firmly in her book.

 

So much for that.

 

Giving one last sigh, he’s nearly about to whine her name to get her attention, but restrains himself. Crystal would want to know what his problem was and he decides maybe her snark isn’t worth the hassle after all. He misses Typhlosion. It kinda aches.

 

They’re not supposed to have their Pokemon out after hours, but maybe that’s only in the hallway? He could always play dumb. He looks over at his bag on the other side of the room, weighing his options. There’s only pros. He didn’t pay for the trip anyway and it only matters if he gets caught, right? And he’s the champion or, close enough at least, _still a sore spot can’t think about it_ , but whatever he can probably do whatever he wants.

 

He really wants his Pokemon. He’s never realized that he doesn’t go without one of them out for more than a few hours and he’s gotten used to their company. Maybe it won’t hurt...

 

“Gold, sit back down.” Crystal says, eyeing him from behind her too-thick book, brows furrowed down with displeasure, and it’s only then does he realize he’s slid onto the floor and has inched his way halfway between the bed and his bag. Like a child. And he doesn’t appreciate the way Crystal is trying so hard to look like his mom.

 

He gives her a moody “Buzz off.” and sticks his tongue out at her, grabbing a pillow off the bed and flopping over onto his side. The carpet is gross and ancient and hitting it so hard hurt a bit more than he wants to admit but screw letting Crystal know she caught him doing something stupid.

 

“Take the bed anyways. You’re probably not use to sleeping in anywhere but a center and I don’t wanna hear you complain the rest of tomorrow.” He jabs at her, taking the chance to rile her up. It flops, as expected.

 

“Thanks. You know it’s only eight though, right? And the couch exists. But whatever grandpa enjoy the floor.” She tells him with a put-out sigh, the sound of her finger tapping against her book briefly filling the room. And Gold really hates that because of course she got the one up, damn it, and now he’s stuck on the carpet. Why did he engage? Never engage. Trainer rule number one never engage where you can’t win. What did he expect.

 

He’s gotta cover quick though, making up the best excuse he can. It ends up being:

 

“I’m taking a nap.”

 

Which is good enough to get her off his back, and he appreciates getting the last word. He’ll move back to the couch after he wakes up, he thinks he closes his eyes. He closes his eyes, and counts, and waits. But sleep doesn’t come.

 

He feels nauseous laying down. His pettiness can never be sought to its fullest potential; he’s too soft.

 

Sitting up again, he throws the pillow back onto the bed and climbs up after it. Crystal doesn’t even look up and that whole routine is really getting on his nerves.

 

“Hey Crystal?”

 

“Kris.” She corrects him. Insufferable, he thinks. He doesn’t say it.

 

“Whatever.” He huffs. “Why are you coming to Kanto again?”

 

“Because I wanted to? Mind your business.”

 

“But whyyy.”

 

She rolls her eyes, and it’s weird how proud Gold feels for earning that. He crosses his legs on the bed and leans forward a bit. It looks like she’s trying to tune him out again and Gold doesn’t feel like that.

 

“You gotta tell me why.”

 

“I don’t gotta do anything.”

 

“I’ll sit on you if you don’t.” He pouts. She looks annoyed. He was right, this is fun, it’s what he needed.

 

“How old are you, five?” She exclaims, squinting her eyes at him in what he’s guessing is a glare.

 

“Five inches deep in-“

 

“Oh grow up!!”

 

He bursts out laughing, holding his stomach, doubling over a bit. Crystal isn’t laughing; she looks a bit flustered and grossed out. He can’t help it, he thinks that’s even funnier.

 

But she doesn’t seem happy still, only marking the page in her book and closing it with a muted slam. “You’re sleeping on the couch. I’m going to bed.” Gold is no longer having fun.

 

“You’re so _sensitive_ Kris! Laugh a little.”

 

“I will when you’re actually funny. Acting like you’re seven is _not_ funny.”

 

“I thought I was five?” He snickers.

 

She still doesn’t. After setting her book on the floor she stands, hands on her hips, and marches up to him. “Couch. _Now_.” She orders.

 

“Shove it.” He tells her, and he can feel a scowl forming on his face. It’s only fun when she gets all upset, not when she gets bossy. It reminds him of his mom and it’s annoying. But she looks ready to go off on him and before she can, he gives in and concedes, getting up. There’s a spare blanket on the foot of the bed and he snatches it, storming over to the couch and laying on it, having to curl up his legs a bit to fit on it properly. Normally Gold would feel a bit proud he’s gotten taller, but fuming and pleasant feelings don’t mix. Annoyance wins out. It tends to more often nowadays.

 

He closes his eyes, focusing on the humming in the room instead of the jerk of the boat as it travels. If he tries, it almost sounds like a song. Footsteps shuffle along the carpet across the room, the light disappears with the flick of a switch, and there’s shuffling back to the bed. He hears Crystal make herself comfortable.

 

The humming of the ship distracts him again. He slowly starts to relax. It overtakes him, and luckily enough, he’s eased into an early slumber.

 

* * *

 

_Gold is the only child that does not want friends._

_His mom doesn’t seem to get that. He hates playdates, he hates kids his age, he hates sharing. He hates having to pretend like those things are something he’s supposed to want._

_He does not do well in preschool. The kids from Cherrygrove all make fun of him for living in a country town and tease him for his name. He cries the first day and begs his mom to not make him go. She tries a different school. It’s better, but he still doesn’t like it._

_The  tears stop when he moves a grade up. And by the next grade, he starts making jabs in return, talking louder, cockier. It helps. But by the next grade, he has to start being louder. By the next grade, he starts resorting to violence._

_Picking fights now feels better than waiting for them to come to him. He knows it’s bad._

_He doesn’t know how to handle it._

_Gold hears his mom talk about him to the neighbor woman next door. She calls him a problem child with too harsh words and he doesn’t realize that she’s upset and doesn’t know how else to deal with it._

_She’s like him. He doesn’t know that though. He just gets angry again._

_It doesn’t get better the next grade. The playdates stop. He gets in trouble when he pushes the girl next door and makes her cry. He knows it’s bad, he doesn’t know why he did it._

_Mom seems tired._

_Gold doesn’t like people._

  

* * *

 

 

Lt. Surge is probably Gold’s favorite gym leader so far. Not like it’s a stiff competition, since Johto’s leaders were either grumpy and gimmicky old adults, or weird and whiny kids that were too old for Gold to consider hanging out with. So when the S.S. Aqua docks in Vermillion finally, and he’s darted to the gym and dealt with its ridiculous puzzle, smelling a bit worse from it, he’s more than pleased to be met with Surge. Surge who is loud and cool and has a winning grin that makes Gold feel hyped to fight him and an attitude that's, dare he say, _electrifying_.

 

(It’s silly but Gold likes how loud Surge is, and how bold and striking he is. All his gym trainers look up to him and they don’t get mad at him yelling. Gold kinda wants that too.)

 

And it’s a good fight too, and it feels like a real win. He hasn’t felt challenged since his championship battle and man does Surge pull out all the best tricks he has. His accent makes it a bit harder for Gold to listen to his commands too, putting him at a slight disadvantage, but man are his Pokemon strong.

 

It’s an amazing feeling too, in a way that’s hard for him to describe. Back in Johto, when he was on his journey, he could always tell that the Pokemon he was facing were just leveled up for gym battles. They were close to their trainer, sure, but they weren’t the same ones that traveled along a trainer on their journey; they didn’t have the look. After a while it kinda made Gold feel a bit, he guesses, cheated? If that’s the right word?

 

But he can see the scars on some Surge’s team, some small, some striped across the back like on his ace, Raichu. From whatever war Surge claimed he fought in, but it felt so much more real. And he feels less like some kid taking on the league challenge like all kids try to do and more like a real, genuine trainer. And it’s an exhilarating thing he didn’t know he was missing out on.

 

He walks away with a Thunder Badge, and an autograph from the man himself, and a pretty nice boost to his ego. He doesn’t know where to go from now; Crystal’s long gone and Kanto feels so big and expansive, where to start?

 

But Gold thinks he’s got a pretty good idea of what he wants to do, if he can’t be champion yet. Gym leaders can be any age, and do any rules they want probably, and so he’s decided: once he’s done with Kanto, he’s gonna be a gym leader. And then he’ll beat Lance again, and have 16 badges under his belt, and be the strongest trainer in both regions. He starts heading north to Saffron with a bounce in his step, already planning out signature types and teams in his head.

 

* * *

 

 

_One day when he’s walked home from school faster than usual, Gold hears his mom talking to the professor. He shouldn’t eavesdrop but he does anyway._

_Elm is offering him a Pokemon. He’s old enough now. But Elm should know about his behavior. There’s no way he doesn’t._

_His mom reminds Elm of that. Gold feels frustration building in him and leaves to go down to the shoreline and fume in peace. He does not hear what their resolution is._

_He already knows what it is. He doesn’t want to hear it from another person._

_Problem child._

* * *

 

As it turns out, all Kanto gym leaders are just, like that.

 

The other leaders don’t exactly have the same supercharged personality as Surge, but a lot of them are fun to battle. None of them use the same strategy, sometimes not even the same type specialty as their gym, and maybe it’s just his imagination but Gold swears they seem pretty excited every time one of their lackeys comes in and tells them there’s an 8-badge challenger waiting for them.

 

That or they're just really good at acting. Gold is struggling to tell but he lets himself believe that they like him.

 

But of course, there’s always an exception to the ‘Kanto leaders are better’ rule. And it comes in the face of someone Gold honestly expected to be the most interesting of all.

 

The newest edition to the East Indigo League roster, Blue.

 

It only takes a few months for Gold to travel around mainland Kanto, seeing its sights, battling the toughest trainers he can find and earning himself the badges he comes across. Even with the detour of him desperately trying to find a way around Mt. Moon, which for whatever reason he can’t seem to scale across, gets resolved within a week after asking around the locals and finding out a shortcut through a Pokemon-made tunnel system.

 

It takes nearly a month for him to find Blue, though.

 

When he first reached Viridian, he went to the gym only to find it closed. So he stayed in town for a few days, still closed, before giving up and going to Pewter. And after earning the badge there he tried again, but was told by one of the ace trainers there that ‘Viridian Gym doesn’t take a battle without the challenger having seven badges’. Which led to a very heated argument between him and the girl about how he has _eleven_ badges, which was more than enough to deserve a battle by those rules, but somehow lost the argument anyway.

 

Stupid adults, or teenagers, stupid whatever.

 

So he tries to find Blue to confront him himself. Which leads him on a wild goose chase of being told he was in Saffron, and then Pallet, then Lavender Town and so on and so on until he’s about to lose his mind and freak out in frustration. It’s fall when he’s flying low on his Dragonite’s back, scoping out for the island where he was told Blaine had made his new gym, and he sees a figuring shuffling around on the rubble of Cinnabar.

 

Which, coincidentally enough, turns out to be Blue himself. And Gold has a few things to settle with him.

 

It’s technically his fault he can’t be champion.

 

But Gold at leaves gives him a shot, because the guy’s had it pretty rough too, and Gold is really trying to work on how he deals with people. He bounds up to him, Dragonite following behind him with the most intimidating look her puffy face can manage. He waves at him, calls Blue’s name as he walks over to greet him, introduces himself. Champion to champion.

 

He’s quickly reminded of Blue’s notorious level of snark. Gold feels a twitch of irritation at how much he’s being reminded of his own annoying, overly cocky rival.

 

“You the Johto champ or something?” Blue finally asks after having gone on about the volcano’s destruction of Cinnabar and metaphors and whatever else fake poetic babble trainers liked, Gold wasn’t listening past his greeting.

 

“Something like that.” Gold says as nonchalantly as he can, using his practiced 'cool trainer' voice. He adjusts his cap before he continues.

 

“I was looking to get an Earth Badge to add to my collection. I got twelve now. Some trainer at your gym said you couldn’t help me with that so I thought I’d ask you myself.”

 

He doesn't like being forward like that but he’s impatient and he’s been kept waiting long enough. Blue doesn’t seem impressed. He raises an eyebrow and makes a motion to his badges pinned to his bag. With a sigh, Gold pulls out his own badge case, opening it up to prove his honesty.

 

Much to his frustration, Blue snorts and waves his hand up, a smug look on his face that’s bringing back memories of an irritating redhead.

 

“Look kid-” _Kid? He can’t be that much younger than Blue-_ “You seem strong and I’m liking the look of your Dragonite back there, but if you want to battle me, for real, get all seven of the other Kanto badges, ‘kay? Otherwise, you’re probably not ready to battle me.” Blue finishes with a shrug and brush of his hair.

 

And Gold thought _he_ had an attitude problem.

 

He doesn't wanna argue, because that wouldn’t get him anywhere and Blue is notorious for being a loudmouth so he’ll probably lose it anyway. Gold is still angry though, because this is bordering on Clair’s convoluted nonsense and hoop jumping in order to get a badge. Not _quite_ as bad, but if he has to go begging this guy’s esteemed grandfather to beg for a badge too, he’s gonna lose it.

 

“You really don’t make this easy for challengers, huh?” Gold tells him, voice sounding moody even to himself.

 

Blue smirks at that. “Maybe not weak challengers, I only do real battles sooo.” He laughs and puts his hand on his hip. Gold has the overwhelming urge to wipe that look off his face.

 

“I think you’re just scared to lose so you put it off. You think you’d be used to losing?” Gold jabs, feeling himself grin.

 

He’s greeted with a scowl and, yep, that sure did it. He meant it playfully, but Gold guesses Blue’s ego must be a lot more delicate than he’d thought. Sure, he’d never lost a battle himself that he can think of, but he doesn’t think he’d be this much of a sore loser over it if he did.

 

“We’ll see when you come around, won’t we.” Blue says coolly, calling out his Pidgeot from its ball. Before Gold can attempt to correct himself, Blue’s already gone, calling out a signature “Smell ya later!” as his Pokemon takes off, and just like that he’s gone. It occurs to Gold a little too late he still sucks at watching what he says. He really hopes he didn’t make an enemy out of him.

 

* * *

 

_Gold’s never had a Pokemon before. His mom isn’t a trainer and he never really cared to be around other people’s that much._

_He’s heard some kids say he’ll be rough with them too. Gold knows he wouldn’t. Adults think otherwise, though._

_Elm’s the only one who trusts him to have one. He smiles. Explains Pokemon care. Lets him choose whichever one he wants, lets him take his time._

_His Cyndaquil is small by his leg and puffs smoke instead of fire and doesn't seem very strong._

_But Gold is in love with the little guy._

_He walks with it to see a colleague of Elm; he knows a test when he sees one. He’s careful not to be too harsh with his Cyndaquil when he encounters wild Pokemon. Strangely enough, he doesn’t feel the need to._

_Battling feels natural._

_A boy steals a Pokemon. He fights him on the way back. He feels angry, and then calm, focused. The boy loses but he still gets away._

_Elm suggests he travel Johto. Gold really likes that idea. His mom is reluctant, but allows it. It occurs to him just how much she must worry. He promises to call._

_He does not start fights anymore. He does not yell as much. He doesn’t like people still but he likes his Pokemon, and he likes his mom._

_Gold is trying. It’s still hard. But he’s trying._

* * *

 

 

Blue’s Machamp falls to the ground with an echoing thud, its body convulsing just a bit from the remaining psychic energy from the finishing attack still coursing through it. Gold’s Espeon slacks from his defensive position some, the reflect set up wearing off. Gold feels pretty lucky he took on Brock before this, since he was desperately in need of a good rock-type move and Ursaring was able to take down Pidgeot instead of Espeon. He wonders if he needs to go through his team and reorganize their moves, find new strategies. There’s so many he’s learned in his time in Kanto after all...

 

Oh right, the battle. Gold shakes his head a bit as he snaps out of his train of thought. Across from him, Blue seems surprisingly composed, a smirk on his face as he gives an unphased shrug, recalling his Machamp. Gold whistles a short tweet and Espeon bounds to his side, rubbing his tail against Gold’s leg. He smiles and kneels down, scratching behind Espeon’s ear where he likes, receiving a pleased trill in return.

 

He looks back up at Blue, waiting for him to speak. But Blue's already on it.

 

“No way! How the heck did I lose to you?” Blue says, putting his hands on his hips as he heads down the steps to be level with Gold.

 

Gold stands up, eyeing Blue. Everything about him, from his posture to his expression to his words comes off as pretty...rehearsed, to say the least. He’s not offended or disappointed or anything, but he admits he is a bit unimpressed with this whole routine. At least Whitney had the decency to throw a tantrum in front of him and not try to hide it.

 

Ah, Blue’s been staring at him for, well he doesn’t know how long. He hopes it wasn’t more than a minute, that would be embarrassing. Gold opens his mouth to respond, the closes it.

 

He forgot what Blue even said beforehand. Woops.

 

“...Tch, all right then.” Blue says, seeming like he’s barely restraining rolling his eyes. Gold is definitely embarrassed now.

 

Blue spares him by not noticing, plucking something from the stand near him instead.

 

“Well, here’s the Earth Badge then. With this badge, you’ll be able...-“He starts to drawl on, handing the badge to Gold, who isn’t even gonna pretend like he’s listening. He’s heard a spiel like this what, thirteen times before? Enough times he could probably recite one back if he wanted to.

 

Gold tilts the badge back and forth, watching the dimmed light reflect off it. It’s nice, he supposes. The Kanto badges look better than the Johto ones in his opinion.

 

A TM gets pressed into his hand, which he examines, and it’s unfortunately one he doesn’t imagine he’ll be using. Didn’t they use to give out Earthquake here? He’d rather have that instead...

 

Blue’s looking at him again, and Gold blinks, wondering if he missed something important.

 

“Thanks. You were strong, it was a good fight.” He tells Blue, putting the TM in his bag. Blue keeps watching him, expression something odd Gold can’t read. He’s about to say something again but gets interrupted instead.

 

“All right, I was wrong.” Blue sighs, pocketing his hands in his jacket, shrugging. “You’re the real deal. You are a good trainer.”

 

Gold’s heart soars. He grins, clutching the strap on his bag. He’s a sucker for praise. Blue’s still going.

 

“But.” Blue says, holding up a finger. “I’m going to beat you someday. Don’t you forget it.” He vows, expression confident, smirk back on his face. Gold beams still.

 

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 

And for a moment, Gold feels pretty good, putting his newly earned badge into his badge case. Fourteen badges now stare back at him, gleaming in all his victory, some of the older ones having a few scratches to their paint but they’re otherwise in near perfect condition.

 

A thought occurs to him. He doesn’t...exactly know what happens with them now.

 

“What’s a guy supposed to do with all these badges?” He asks Blue, like he’d know.

 

Blue doesn’t, of course. He just shrugs, offering him. “Challenge the league? Why ask me.”

 

“Because you’re a gym leader! You’re supposed to tell me somethin’, right.”

 

“I did? Go challenge the league.”

 

Well he got him there. Gold sighs, putting his case into his bag. Below him, Espeon chirps and looks up at him confused, not understanding why Gold’s emotions just did a full 180. Hell, he doesn’t really know either.

 

Fourteen badges looks really impressive. It’ll help when he applies to be a gym leader. But somehow he kind of? Expected to feel something more.

 

“I ain’t challenging the league until I’m 14, so unless I wanna rub Lance’s nose into the fact he still sucks it’s kinda pointless.” Gold grumbles. It's sorta tempting.

 

“Why 14?” Blue asks, fiddling with the box of badges near him, seeming bored.

 

Gold wonders if he’s being annoying by still being there. He doesn’t care. It’s Blue’s fault, he reminds himself.

 

“Well, apparently the league _doesn’t_ actually want 11-year olds winning. ‘Cuz they either get creamed immediately or y’know, run off and do whatever.” Gold sniffs, throwing the snark in on purpose this time.

 

Blue picks up on it, finally giving him his attention. “So? What does that mean?

 

“New law passed, anyone of any age can win, but you gotta be at least 14 to hold the champion position.”

 

“Oh, that sucks.”

 

“Yeah it does.”

 

“Huh. Guess it’s better they don’t let some preteen do it anyway.” Blue laughs. Gold doesn't.

 

“Yeah, guess so. Wish they’d told me that before…”

 

“League’s just like that. Never expect a direct answer from Lance.” Blue jokes, and Gold does snort at that.

 

“No kidding. I still don’t know what to do until then.”

 

“How old are you?”

 

“12. And a half.”

 

“And a half.” Blue repeats mockingly, laughing again. Gold face feels a bit hot, embarrassing. Espeon bristles next to his side.

 

“Hey now don’t take it so personal! Anyway, you probably got a lot of schoolwork piling up, yeah? Maybe do that.”

 

Gold groans, rubbing his face. Crap, he always forgets about that. He tried working on it as he journeyed, but he’s not great at focusing and it got really hard and to his defense there were way more interesting things to do.

 

Like, literally anything.

 

“ _Ugh_ don’t remind me about that.”

 

“Okay okay, touchy.”

 

Blue pats his shoulder as an apology, then seems like he’s about to shoo him off. For some reason Gold _really_ does not want to do that. Maybe because he doesn’t want to be treated like yet another annoying child. Maybe because if he leaves, he’ll really have no choice but to go home and waste away for a year and a half. He’ll have to go back to life the way it was.

 

He doesn’t want that.

 

Thinking quick, it’s never been his specialty, he manages to blurt out. “Is the thing about the ultimate trainer on Mt. Silver real?”

 

That grabs Blue’s attention at least. “The...what?” He asks as he turns back to him, looking torn between amusement and confused curiosity. Gold picks up on something else there, but ignores it, and instead takes this as a cue to keep going.

 

“I’ve been hearing people talk all around town about it? Some guy went up there to train and got ridiculously strong. Is that true.” Gold hears himself sounding a bit desperate.

 

Blue scratches the back of his head, brows furrowed as he thinks, arms now crossed, pretending to be puzzled.

 

“Huh...wow I don’t know. That sounds pretty out there.”

 

“But do you think it’s real?”

 

“Gee I honestly don’t know.”

 

“Come on!”

 

Blue hums. “Well I guess you'll only know if go check, yeah? Pretty hard climb though.”

 

“Yeah but- wait really?”

 

“Might as well, won’t hurt. Unless you die.”

 

Huh. Well yeah, that’s true. Gold thinks about it; Mt. Silver is the tallest mountain in the Kanto-Johto range, and it’s infamous for its hostility and powerful Pokemon. Which sounds fun. He’s pretty sure people have died there, maybe not recently, he doesn’t know for sure. That’s less fun, but it’s manageable. And he’d probably have to get approved by the league itself, but that might not be too hard...

 

Yeah okay. He has something to do now. That works.

 

“I guess I’m going to do that then.” Gold says finally, feeling excitement well up in him. Espeon doesn’t seem to share his enthusiasm, looking concerned on his owner’s behalf.

 

“You do that.” Blue replies, seeming over it.

 

“And I’ll be sure to come back and tell you everything!”

 

“You do that too.”

 

“You wanna come with?”

 

“I’m good.”

 

“Well I’ll still tell you everything.” Gold promises, fixing his cap, giving him a confident grin. “Guess I’ll be off then.”

 

“Smell ya later kid.” Blue tells him, waving him off, taking the chance to finally turn his back to him and head off. Gold watches him disappear to the back of the room, then makes his way out of gym, all the while trying to think of how he should go about climbing the mountain. He didn’t get to climb Mt. Moon like he wanted, and mountains aren’t really common in Johto, so he doesn’t have much experience. He wonders who he should ask for help, fishing his Pokegear out of his bag and starting to go through his numbers for anyone whose advice he trusts.

 

It doesn’t occur to him until he’s two blocks away from the gym that Blue was putting on an act again, when he was talking about Mt. Silver. Gold turns back towards the direction of the gym, frowning.

 

It’s not a stretch to think Blue would’ve climbed Mt. Silver too, but he wonders what he found out there.

 

Gold figures he’ll find it too. He brushes it off, and keeps walking, resolve in his step, Espeon trotting at his side.


	2. True Myth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They stand there in a stalemate, the quiet dragging on. It’s getting overwhelming. Gold has never been too good at talking to people he doesn’t know and this guy hasn’t said a word, period.
> 
> Silence.

_The championship fiasco leaves Gold more sour and angry than he’s ever felt before._

_There’s no outlet this time. He can’t bring himself to battle. It aches too much._

_Interviews and battle magazines go on. For a while. He puts on a good front._

_But he’s just so tired of this all._

_Mom and him argue more often. He doesn’t remember what they say to each other._

_They make up. It’s fine._

_The articles on him slowly begin to stop. He starts to fade into the records. He’s still tired._

_He gets offered a ticket to Vermilion. He doesn’t think twice before accepting it. It’s a break._

_He needs a break._

_His mom’s at work when Gold leaves home and flies to Olivine. Crystal is there, with Oak. They’re pretty chummy with each other. He doesn’t know how to feel about that._

_They tell him to call his mom. He doesn’t want to._

_A lecture is not what he wants right then._

_He's so dramatic._

_It’s not until the ship’s left the harbor when he calls. Mom’s upset. But she calms down, wishes him luck, tells him to call when they get there. It's fine._

_Gold still feels bad._

* * *

 

 

From the west exit of the League's Reception Building, Gold can already feel the isolation creeping up on him. Mountains loom menacingly over the horizon and even before he’s started the walk there, he knows he’s going to feel aching pain in his legs for weeks. He supposes he counts himself grateful he’s more on the stocky side (as he’s been told). Makes hiking easier.

 

It’s fall now and he thanks the stars that it’s not winter yet. The weather is rather pleasant for this time of year as well. Otherwise, he doesn’t think Oak would’ve given him the clear to scale Mt. Silver.

 

Though he still made Gold wear actual pants and boots, and bring along a thick coat, gloves, long underwear, all that mess. Gold hates it; he doesn’t remember the last time he’s worn jeans and his legs feel itchy.

 

According to the route he plotted out beforehand, it looks like it’ll take him the rest of the day to make it to the Pokemon Center at the base of the mountain. It’s a lot, but he thinks he can manage.

 

But first...

 

Sighing, he pulls out his Pokegear. His Pokemon are in their balls from having to walk through the League, and he wonders if he should bring one out for support.

 

That’s silly, honestly, it’s not a big deal.

 

He goes to open his contact list, checking the time while he’s at it. East Johto’s an hour behind time-wise, but he figures she’ll be awake still. It’s not too early, plus she doesn’t have work yet.

 

Sitting down on the steps leading down the League’s exit, he presses call on the first contact in the list, then holds his Pokegear to his ear. It rings once...

 

Twice...

 

He taps his fingers anxiously against his leg as it rings again. Maybe she wasn’t awake after all.

 

Ring...

 

...

 

“Gold?”

 

...

 

“Hi mom.”

 

“Gold.” Her voice softens some, sounding like home, and Gold relaxes. The line distorts her voice a bit with static, still he knows it’s the best his signal will get.

 

“How’s it going dear?” She asks. Gold taps his fingers a bit faster, swallowing hard.

 

“It’s okay. I’m, uh. Well I won’t be able to call for a bit.”

 

She stays quiet for a moment. He’s already starting to feel bad.

 

“Why’s that? Where are you right now.”

 

“Just at the start at Route 28, outside the League. I’m gonna start hiking soon but uh, I’m going to Mt. Silver.”

 

It goes silent. And stays silent. Gold starts bouncing his leg now, resting his elbow on his other knee, chin in his hand. He waits, knowing she’s trying to place her words carefully. It won’t be anything bad, he knows.

 

But the silence is eating him alive.

 

Finally, she responds,alive her sounding stern, concerned. “Honey, that’s an awfully high place to climb.” He can hear her move to sit down, very faintly. He huffs.

 

“The highest.”

 

“Isn’t it going to be difficult?”

 

“Yeah but it won’t be too bad. I have my Pokemon and I bought a bunch of items and food and junk.”

 

“Gold, are you sure you know what you’re doing.”

 

“Positive mom, I swear this isn’t a 'goodbye forever' call I only wanted you to know where I was.”

 

Gold heard the frustration in her voice, and hell, he’s getting there too. He’s trying to be levelheaded anyway. He doesn’t get a reply right away, and is stuck in silence again. His leg bounces quicker. He sits up straight, then slouches again. Waits.

 

The response comes before too long. It’s not remotely close what he’s expecting.

 

Mom’s voice is low when she asks. “Gold, what are you trying to prove?”

 

And for a second, he’s taken aback. His mom really knows how to ask the hardest things out of no where.

 

He doesn’t know what to say. What to think.

 

He doesn’t want to think about it, actually.

 

“Nothing?”

 

“Gold.” She starts, sterner this time. “12-year olds don’t climb the most dangerous mountain in the entire joint region if they’re not trying to prove something.”

 

He feels hot, and tight. There's a burning feeling in his stomach and he knows when he’s getting close to losing his cool. He takes a deep breath, then exhales. Closes his eyes.

 

“I just, wanted to. Okay? There’s some trainer up there that's strong or whatever and I want to fight him. It’s not a big deal.”

 

“It _is_ a big deal!”

 

“Well not for me.”

 

“ _Gold_. This isn’t a joke.”

 

“Well, yeah. I’m not laughing.”

 

The line goes mute again, and Gold unclenches the fist from his pants he didn't know was there, taking another deep breath. She raised her voice, he’s sure he raised his.

 

He doesn’t want a fight.

 

With another breath, and another, and maybe a few more, he’s calmer, by a little but it’s enough.

 

“Mom, I’m sorry. I know this is scary, but I’ll be okay. I promise. I have my Pokemon to look after me.” He tries to level his voice, hoping it works.

 

It remains quiet. Then, a sigh from the other line. He can hear her taking a deep breath too. He finds it a bit funny they’re both like that, but keeps it to himself.

 

“I know you will...still this is hard for me, you know that? You being gone so much. It's so hard.” Her voice is soft again, weaker now than before. She sounds tired.

 

Guilt hits him like a bus. He swallows, scratching at the back of his head. He doesn't want to think about it. “I’m sorry mom.”

 

“I know honey, I know. When you come back down, come home for a bit, okay? You’re not too far. Let me see you again.”

 

“I will.”

 

“I mean it, right away. No getting sidetracked.”

 

“Okay mom, I promise.” He tells her. He means it.

 

He hears her sigh. “Well, be safe then. If it gets too rough it’s okay to come back down.”

 

“I know, and I will. I’ll be okay.”

 

“I know you will sweetie.”

 

She pauses. Then adds. “I love you. Take care, alright? Call me as soon as you can.”

 

“Sure thing. Love you too mom.” Gold tells her, hesitating a second before he goes on. “I should get going though.”

 

“I’m rooting for you baby, I always am.”

 

“Thanks mom. I’ll talk to you later.” He responds, waiting for her goodbye before he hangs up. His insides still feel warm, but it’s a nicer warm this time. Fuzzy and comforting, like a hug he won't admit he wants.

 

Gold needed to hear her though, more than he thought.

 

With that out of the way, he feels ready. He stands up, calling out Typhlosion, giving him a few head scratches and a smile. After pulling out his map, and giving it a good once over, he begins the long trek to the Pokemon Center. It’s going to be a long day, he can feel it. He can’t wait.

 

But besides the lovely scenery and watching Typhlosion run around like an idiot, it's actually super uneventful. He didn't find a single trainer. Lame.

 

As he hoped, he’s at the Pokemon Center before nightfall at least. Besides the older looking Joy stationed there, who's more interested in her magazine and the radio, there’s no one else around. radio

 

Gold thinks it’s weird, how hushed and empty it is. Unnatural.

 

He gets it though; he only saw a small, isolated village on the hike here and he doubts any of the residents would need to stay the night here. Still, it's a bit lonely since he's got his Pokemon being healed and monitored for the night, just to be on the safe side.

 

He’s got a room checked out and with nothing else to do, he retires to it early to try to get some sleep. It doesn’t work, but at least the effort was there.

 

Tomorrow.

  

* * *

 

_Gold’s gotta do his homework in front of his mom now, because otherwise it won’t get done anymore._

_It's the worst._

_Every day after school ends, he walks on Route 29 to get home. He doesn’t do anything after school like other kids. Doesn’t want to._

_He gets home, waters the garden, does the dishes._

_Mom comes home from work a bit later, and makes tea. They sit in the living room._

_She watches the news. He does his homework._

_He does it long after it gets dark out and after they eat dinner. But it gets done._

_On the news one day there’s a missing person’s case._

_He’s a boy from Kanto, a few years older than Gold. He was apparently super popular in the battling scene of the region which is why it’s on the international news._

_Still, it seems like a big fuss over nothing._

_The kid’s a trainer. A top tier one at that apparently. He’s probably fine. And if he’s not?_

_Well it doesn’t matter anyway._

_His mom seems worried though._

_Her lips are pursed, eyebrows are furrowed. He wants to ask what’s wrong.apparently_

_He doesn't need to say anything though._

_She tells him anyway._

_It's something like._

_‘Fame isn’t everything it's made to be. It's too much and no child should have to bear that weight.’_

_Gold doesn’t really get it, but okay._

 

* * *

 

 

He feels like an idiot more often than he cares to admit.

 

Like, yeah, Gold expected the hike up Mt. Silver would be hard but _holy shit this was hard_. It's steep and there's not a great path to take because no one is stupid enough to come here. Except him apparently.

 

It takes four days for him to even hit the point where snow falls year-round and even though he’s found shelter and still has plenty of food, it’s cold and miserable and Typhlosion is straight up refusing to stay out of his ball for too long. So there went his personal heater.

 

He’s grateful he brought along Ursaring who, while he may not like the wild Ursaring and gets skittish when they cross their territory, is warm and not too much of a wuss to suck up the freezing weather.

 

By day five, Gold is doubling up on his pants and tripling his shirts under the coat and doing his hardest not to freeze to death. He should turn back. But he doesn't.

 

Day six is spent camping out in an empty cave he thinks was an abandoned Pokemon nest, waiting for a surprise flurry of snow to pass. He has Piloswine go out and scavenge some roots for extra food that day, since he can’t. Another good choice of him to bring.

 

The next day Gold’s at it again. It’s been a weekday now and he knows he’s  gotta be nearing the peak. Even as he’s traversing through the inner caves of Mt. Silver, and thus can't truly know if he is or not, but he can't have too much longer to go, so if there’s really nobody else stupid enough to mess around up in this freezing hell of a mountain he’s going to be severely disappointed.

 

He finds an exit within a few hours after starting for the day.

 

When he exists the cave, there is no snow.

 

Falling, at least. But even then on the ground it’s no more than a few inches deep and Gold is confused to say the least.

 

Still, he keeps going. There continues to be no snow falling. The wind isn’t howling in his ears like usual, he realizes.

 

Ursaring is tense. They keep going.

 

The peak is in _finally_ sight and Gold breaks to catch his breath. He takes the opportunity to peer out at the vast sea of mountains and woods and white spreading out in front of him. It’s beautiful, which could be the understatement of the century. He wishes he brought a camera, and feels lucky he's not afraid of heights.

 

He can't see anything other than mountains from every side, each covered in a layer of mist or, maybe it's falling snow actually. It's clearly snowing everywhere except Mt. Silver oddly enough. Weird. He doesn't know jack about weather but he assumes it's because they're so high up. Still, it's very pretty to watch.

 

When he turns himself towards the peak again, there’s someone else there.

 

Silence.

 

* * *

 

 

_The boy from the news isn't found. There’s broadcasts and news reports for months after his disappearance. Nothing comes up._

_Then one day, it all dies down. Overnight almost._

_To a quiet._

_It didn’t impact Gold either way, it’s not like he knew the kid or something. He doesn’t think twice about it._

_Still. Kinda messed up._

_A couple years later, Gold starts his journey._

_The boy stays missing._

_Deathly quiet._

 

* * *

 

 

Typhlosion hits the snow with a resounding pound. It’s over. There's nobody else left.

 

Gold has never lost before. He doesn’t know what to do.

 

He recalls his starter, mouth still parted with shock, and stares out at the opponent he suffered his first defeat to. The stranger recalls his own Pokemon, only the third one he’s sent out, and stands there, facing Gold. He can’t see his face, the stranger's head tilted down with his cap covering it too, only aiding the mystique. It’s more than a little freaky.

 

This guy though...is he wearing short sleeves out here? What the hell.

 

They stand there in a stalemate, the quiet dragging on. It’s getting overwhelming. Gold has never been too good at talking to people he doesn’t know and this guy hasn’t said a word, period.

 

Silence.

 

Gold finally surrenders to it. He calls out. “Hey! What’s your name?”

 

Nothing. The stranger looks up a bit, but doesn’t respond.

 

Creepy.

 

“My name’s Gold um...Hey! Are you okay? It’s really cold out here, aren’t you freezing?” He tries again. Small talk about the weather, classic.

 

It still earns him no response. Gold doesn’t know what to do now. He guesses he should pay him a loser's fee.

 

But as he’s fishing out his money from his bag, the stranger begins to walk away, his back to him, heading towards the other side of the peak. Gold calls for him to wait, and finds his balance in the snow before running after him the best he can. Much to his dismay, even at the tip top of the peak, when he looks around the person is gone, and the snow starts to fall, kicking up just a bit.

 

He feels like he’s living in some weird paranormal movie.

 

With no other option left, he retreats back into the caverns to restore his Pokemon to full health before he gets attacked by a herd of wild Pokemon. He was sure to plan ahead for a disaster, so his bag was packed full of only food and healing items, in case something happened.

 

Gold wasn’t expecting this, though. Whatever this is.

 

Losing feels weird. He’s never lost before, not against gym leaders or crime bosses or even just a random kid on the street. He’s honestly not too angry or upset, he just feels different. Sorta empty and confused. Tired. Frustrated. Chilled.

 

Determined.

 

He gives his team the rest of the day to recuperate, planning a new strategy in the meantime. That guy led with a literal unevolved Pikachu, for some reason, and he kinda wishes he paid more attention to the battling scene before getting his own starter. Because surely a super strong trainer with a bright yellow electric rat would’ve made headlines somewhere. Right?

 

The guy had Kanto starters too. He’d call Oak if he had any signal, see if he knew anything. It’s all super weird but, admittedly, pretty cool, Gold thinks he’ll write it all down once he gets a chance. It'd make a killer article.

 

Another battle happens the next day, once more by his own challenge. Gold loses, again, at least making it to the fifth Pokemon this time due to his new strategy. And like before, after he loses he tries to make small talk with the stranger and yet again, he’s greeted with nothing in return. Then eventually, the boy disappears.

 

Third time turns out to _not_ be the charm. He reaches the sixth and final Pokemon this time, and so now Gold knows the full team but he still loses pretty badly. And still, he can’t get anything out of him. still

 

At this point, Gold knows he’s going to be forced to make a decision: head back, or keep trying until he wins, or gets something out of that guy.

 

And as much as he doesn’t like it, he’s only got enough left to heal his full fainted team for one more battle.

 

After that, he’ll have to leave and try all over again.

 

His team isn’t very balanced; he had to leave Victreebel and Gyarados behind knowing they wouldn’t do well in the icy cold. It puts his odds not so much in his favor. Not to mention the fact that his opponent had some ridiculously overleveled Pokemon that didn’t need a single word or verbal command from their trainer to attack. And they _still_ whooped Gold’s ass.

 

It’s not looking promising.

 

Gold finds he doesn’t mind being defeated per say, but he seriously hates admitting defeat.

 

* * *

 

 

_Gold takes down Team Rocket some time later._

_Later after he started his journey._

_They tell him he’s like some boy from before. Sure would be nice if that kid was here to help, he tells them back._

_They keep saying it. Saying it, saying it, saying it, saying it._

_It gets old._

_Gold doesn’t care what they think. All that matters right then is that his help is...missing._

_He takes them down. On his own._

_The news loves him. He loves their praise._

_They compare him to a boy. He doesn’t pay attention to what they prattle on about._

_He’s him. And he’s unstoppable._

_Gold will not be forgotten._

 

* * *

 

 

The universe must really be on Gold’s side for once, that or he’s been blessed with some kind of idiot luck and he really can’t believe this even happened and he sure doesn’t know how to react or what to do and here especially his mind is racing a mile a minute and. And.

 

He _won_. What the hell.

 

The stranger recalls his fallen Lapras and he does the same for his battered Scizor, reminding himself to close his mouth now. He swallows hard, which turns out to be a bad idea since he now feels nauseous. Is he going to puke? He sure hopes not. He can only imagine how embarrassing that'd be.

 

Even after choking down the feeling, his stomach continues to twist itself in knots. Enough to kinda make him wanna curl up on the ground and pass out. Gold cannot _believe_ this just happened. He’s on top of the world. He’s crashing down. He’s elevated and dreadful and every emotion in between.

 

Across from him, his opponent has his hand on his hip, and for a brief moment he sees him turn his head up a bit more. He’s being watched. The creepiness starts to set in.

 

But then, he catches a smile. Small, the corner of the guy’s lips barely turning up, but Gold sees it.

 

He smiles back. Waves.

 

The snow begins to fall, slowly at first, like before. Then it becomes a flurry, wind picking up, not like before. Gold is caught off guard by a blast of it and has to shield his face from the cold. When he moves his arms, the stranger has vanished. Figures.

 

Gold feels exhaustion wash over him. He would black out if he could, if he wouldn’t freeze to death. The snow nap is still tempting.

 

Regardless, he turns back to the cave system and heads in. He can’t get down without Ursaring, so he heals him up to full health. Dragonite and Scizor too. He doesn’t have enough revives left for the rest of the time. Not good, but he’ll be alright. He hopes. It’ll be fine. He hopes.

 

It is. It only takes three days to reach the base of the mountain with just half his team and he’s sure he could’ve reached it in two with them all. He notes this in the back of his mind.

 

Since y’know, he’s gonna come back. He might’ve won but he’s still got a mystery to solve and that guy probably has some sick pointers.

 

And maybe also controls the weather?

 

Gold thinks that'd be sick as hell to do.

 

That night, at the Pokemon Center with the lone Joy for company, who seems maybe relieved he's back, but still pays no attention to him. He’s again stuck with no signal. Which blows, since he’s got plenty of calls he wants to make. It’s probably been like two weeks since he lost signal so a few people are probably worried, but he’s tired as hell and the thought of going all the way back to the league tonight just for service isn’t ideal. He doubts Dragonite would even have enough energy in her to ferry him there.

 

She does tomorrow though, and it’s a blessing. Gold slept earlier than normal that night, which would’ve helped him feel rested, except he’s always been a morning person no matter the circumstance. Which sucks and he's bone tired in the morning. But she ferries him with no complaints for once and knows the way this time, so it’s no biggie when Gold dozes off a bit.

 

It saves time too. They’re at the League’s reception hall before it’s even dinnertime and he feels fortunate; he can make it home tonight instead of tomorrow.

 

His Pokegear, though, begins buzzing with incoming messages the instant it gets some fraction of signal there. He’s sure some of them are from people he met along his journey whose numbers he forgot to delete, wanting to talk about their dumb Pokemon or battle him another time like masochists. When Gold pulls it out, he’s actually pleasantly surprised at what he’s found.

 

Sure some of them are the aforementioned insignificant nonsense, but there’s also a couple of messages of advice from Oak, a well wishes from Elm, and a few comforting ones from his mom.

 

Crystal sent him something too. The first is a picture and when he opens the file, it’s of an eager-looking Houndour she’s posing with. He’s assuming she caught it.

 

Wow, he thinks he's sorta kinda jealous. It looks adorable. Probably why she caught it, she’s not much of a trainer. He wants one now.

 

She also sent a message a week after, a simple ‘ _Where are you?_ ’. Oh man, is he gonna rub her face in this. He’s gonna look cool as hell.

 

No one else, though. Ah well. Gold doesn’t really care about anybody else’s opinions of him.

 

He sends him mom, just ‘ _made it down. coming home now :)_ ’, before putting his Pokegear back in his bag for the time being. He’ll respond to everyone else later but it’s too time-consuming presently and he doesn’t wanna be showing up home at one in the morning.

 

As he’s exiting the league he passes through a long hallway, with both walls filled high full of group shots of victors and their teams, the names of each and their date of initiation under each. He’s seen this before, when he was coming in. His picture was up, the very last one, the newest victor. It felt pretty good to see. He’s pleased with the ego boost.

 

When he’s near the end of the hallway, he catches sight of his picture and stops to admire it. He looks cool, and the six Pokemon he took with look equally impressive around him. The plaque underneath that reads his name is colored a metallic gold hue, and with his name, it feels pretty fitting.

 

He doesn’t recognize the couple trainers above him, by their names or their team. A girl, a man, a teenager, so on and so on. His eyes look around for a familiar face.

 

In the column of pictures to the side of the one Gold's in, he recognizes Blue, looking cocky and smug with his hulking team behind him. Cool. He checks the picture below Blue’s, and a moment of realization hits him hard enough it could knock him on the ass.

 

The boy’s face is angled down some, and his expression is tight and neutral, but he’d recognize it anywhere.

 

If that wasn’t enough, the kid’s got a Pikachu perched on his shoulder.

 

Gold stares a minute, then reads the name. Ah, that’s why everything felt so familiar. He was right to assume it was someone special.

 

‘Red’

 

* * *

 

 

_When he gets home, he tells his mom everything. Even when it gets passed midnight, she doesn’t work tomorrow, so it’s okay._

_Gold tells his mom about hiking, about the mountain, about the view, about how hard he tried and the funny things he saw._

_About the mystery boy named Red._

_The non-missing trainer prodigy Red._

_She makes them tea and listens to him with a small smile on her face. It only ever leaves briefly whenever he talks about the danger he put himself in._

_He thinks she worries too much. It was an amazing feat at all, nothing too scary._

_And then she asks what he wants to do next._

_He mentions the gym idea. She seems a bit put off, but not opposed. He says he’s going back up there again. She doesn’t care for that. He laughs when she tells him so._

_She frowns when he says he’ll challenge Lance again someday. She asks him if there’s anything more he wants to do._

_She mentions school he still has to do. He flops his head on the table and groans._

_He tells her he doesn’t care about school, he’ll drop out if he has to. All he wants to do is battle, it’s the thing he’s best at. School and an actual job is so far out of the picture for him._

_It’s quiet. They sip their tea. He waits for his mom to finish her thought._

_She asks him once more what he’s trying to prove._

_And to who._

_This time, he doesn’t have an answer. He just shrugs. The topic gets dropped._

_It’s easier than saying he doesn’t know._

* * *

 

 

After Mt. Silver, going through Mt. Moon is a piece of cake. The Pokemon here are nothing compared to what the former had to offer. Trainers are a mixed bag though; some are hikers with decades of experience under their belt, others are kids just starting out their journey with a badge from Brock and a couple Pokemon. He leaves the kids be. It’s no fun being a bully.

 

But if they ask for a picture, or to see his Pokemon, he's more than happy to oblige. They're all good with people.

 

Gold likes Mt. Moon though. He takes his time strolling through and ends up camping out in the cave that night, so he sets up under an opening in the roof where he’s able to view the stars free of any air and light pollution from the city.

 

It’s cliché to say but it was seriously beautiful. Trainers really get to see some amazing things.

 

Winter is creeping around the corner. Which sucks, because that means Gold can’t wear shorts around anymore (or at least, not without an earful from his mom). His legs are freezing in the damp, chilled air of the cave but it’s fine. He doesn’t need legs.

 

Except when he has to go into the deepest part of the cave on his second day, he finally gives in and switches his shorts for a pair of pants he wore up on Mt. Silver. He didn’t feel like doing all of his laundry when he went home, so he didn’t, but...

 

These...smell, a little. Does he stink this bad? Gross.

 

He scrunches up his nose but puts them on anyway, already feeling overwhelmed with the need to scratch at his legs. Mom’s right, he is ridiculous.

 

 _Problem child_.

 

Gold coughs once, then ducks his head down to mess up his hair, scratching his scalp some. He shakes his head before picking his cap off from the cave floor and putting it back on. What a stupid thing. He hates his brain sometimes. He's gonna get whiplash.

 

No matter, he still ventures deeper into Mt. Moon like he planned. There’s only one reason he’s there, and he has to hide behind a large cluster of rocks all the way until it’s nightfall, but he finds what he’s looking for.

 

Elm had asked him to catch a Clefairy when he stopped by home for a bit. He told him it was for some research project involving odd pre-evolutions of specific Pokemon from selective breeding. It was...seriously weird to Gold, to each their own he supposes. He’d never hatched an egg before and he had no desire to work with Pokemon in _that_ way but he could catch ones just fine.

 

He’s gotta go east of Cerulean after and get an Electabuzz too. When Elm made the request Gold had asked why Crystal was suddenly too good to be running errands for him, he learned that her whole reason for coming to Kanto _was_ to run errands.

 

Sucks for her, he said. Elm only shrugged, smiled, told him it’s what she asked.

 

Gold thinks she’s kinda weird. But whatever.

 

The wild Clefairy of Mt. Moon surely enough do only appear when the moon rises high into the sky, but once they’re out Gold has no issue catching one. The ball is sent back to his storage system and he’ll pick it up later.

 

Camping out in this part of the caves though is pretty dumb, especially after Gold just caught one of the wild Clefairy population’s own and they might not be too happy, so he retreats back.

 

The view won’t be as beautiful as the night before, but he’ll take it. It’s late as hell and he’s exhausted.

 

And yet despite staying up past midnight, he still wakes up before 7. Damn it.

 

It’s a grueling walk towards the exit of the mountain that day. He doesn’t remember he can change back into his less-smelly shorts until noon. He’s got Ursaring out of his ball to help move some of the boulders and rocks out of the way for shortcuts, but Ursaring ends up needing to shake Gold awake more times than either of them like.

 

He’s also kind enough to give Gold a loud (and frankly, terrifying) roar right in his face after the third time it happens. It rattles Gold’s bones and scares the shit out of him but it for sure wakes him up.

 

Honestly though, what a good, considerate boy he’s raised.

 

The rest of the way out from that point on isn't too terrible, now that he's awake and alert.

 

There’s not a lot of trainers around. He sees some kids battling each other, and catches one or two adults trying to recover their fainted Pokemon to full health. Otherwise, day three turns out to be pretty boring.

 

It’s a bit anticlimactic from the whole 'scaling Mt. Silver, battling the strongest trainer ever and living to tell the tale' thing Gold had just experienced.

 

Him and Ursaring are close now. Gold’s lantern he brought is starting to no longer be needed, the light from the exit is shining through and illuminating this part of the cave. He moves to put it away.

 

“Hey.”

 

Gold jerks hard, nearly squealing out in surprise, and by his side Ursaring starts to growl. He doesn’t need to turn around to know who it is, nobody else has a voice so snide and so ear-gratingly annoying, yet so cold even when it’s low it sends a shiver through him.

 

When he turns, his suspicions were correct. A few paces back stands his redheaded nightmare of a rival, staring down Gold with an intensity that’s already getting his heartrate going.

 

“...Hey, Silver.”

 

It’s quiet for a bit, only Ursaring’s growling filing the stillness, echoing through the cave’s vast expanse of walls and ceiling. Gold can feel himself glaring, and he watches Silver narrow his eyes in return. They glare each other down, he hopes that he’s getting his point across: just because he’s champion now doesn’t mean they’re not rivals. And it _certainly_ doesn’t mean that Gold doesn’t despise him still.

 

With Silver’s returned glare, he’s assuming the feeling’s mutual. Silver’s the first to break the silence.

 

“...It’s been a while, Gold.”

 

Gold crosses his arms, giving him a nod in response, holding his scowl. He says nothing, he doesn’t need too. Across from him, Silver crosses his arms as well, but his glower lessens.

 

“...Since I lost to you, I thought about what I was lacking in my Pokemon-“

 

“That’s nice.” Gold interrupts, as icy as he can. Silver looks displeased. Good.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“So?”

 

“Together, we came up with an answer.” Silver starts again, Gold wondering since when Silver’s been such the 'we' and ‘together’ type. “I...I know that you’re strong...but...”

 

Silver hushes, dropping his arms to his side, fists clenched. Gold doesn’t speak.

 

“But, I can’t help but challenge you again. And now, we’ll show you!”

 

There’s no time to agree to a battle, Silver is already sending out his Sneasel with a yell. Gold orders his Ursaring forward with a point after extending his arm and Ursaring lunges forward with a growl. Sneasel hisses in return, clicking its claws. Gold’s blood is already pumping and his mind races with strategies flying about faster than he can think to formulate a coherent one.

 

He could’ve sent out Scizor, but that would’ve been cheap. Silver orders his Sneasel forward, and Gold responds with his own command.

 

Feels good to battle him again. He’s no Red, or Lance, or Blue. But he’s _his_ rival.

 

And he is going to kick his ass. And it is going to feel amazing.

 

Though to his credit, Silver has some tricks up his sleeve this time Gold wasn’t expecting. He’s much calmer, he doesn’t bark out orders to his Pokemon, and it looks like he was being honest about thinking about what he was lacking. His Pokemon may be on the offensive side still, but there’s clearly work at unique strategies tailored to each. Gold’s a bit impressed.

 

Not to mention, his Haunter and Kadabra have evolved now. And they’re _strong_. It catches Gold off guard and he nearly gets swept by their pure strength and speed.

 

Obviously, he doesn’t though. He’s got a reputation to uphold, and Silver is never gonna beat him.

 

Silver’s down to his last Pokemon, and Gold feels a bit cheap using his Ampharos against Feraligatr when it’s such an easy win, but Gold’s out of other Pokemon. It doesn’t take more than a thunderbolt to take it down.

 

They recall their Pokemon, and Gold wipes the sweat from his brow. He takes his hat off too to readjust it.

 

Victory still feels oh so sweet. Not that he’s gonna rub it in.

 

...

 

He’s totally rubbing it in.

 

“... I thought I raised my Pokémon to be the best they could be.” Silver says, more to himself, empty disappointment crossing his face. “...But it still wasn't enough...”

 

Perfect. “Well maybe that’s because it’s you that sucks dude. Just saying.” Gold shrugs, earning himself a dirty look from Silver. “What! You can’t blame them for _everything_ man that only shows you suck more.”

 

Silver’s fists clench, making Gold snort. Go ahead, throw a punch, Gold thinks, knowing he will ~~gladly~~ knock him on his ass if he dares.

 

_Problem child._

 

Once more to Gold’s astonishment and Silver’s credit, he sees Silver unclench his fists and take a deep breath, flicking his hair out of his face. Composure was never this guy’s strong suit so good for him?

 

“You won fair and square. I admit it-“

 

“Yeah because I _always_ win fair and square.”

 

“-But.” Silver says, ignoring Gold’s interruption, an aura of smug surrounding him. “This isn't the end. I'm going to be the greatest Pokémon Trainer ever.”

 

“I’ve heard that one before.” Gold comments again and rolls his eyes.

 

Silver gives him a huff and shrugs, flipping his hair out of his face again. “Yeah well, I will win despite what you think. Because these guys are behind me.” He smirks, gripping one of his Pokeballs tight in his hand.

 

“Well color me surprised you do have a heart.” Gold replies, only blinking at him. He can’t convey how genuinely shocked he is at hearing that.

 

Did Silver get replaced by a trainer with actual compassion or something? Is he sick?

 

What the hell.

 

Silver further keeps his composure, and it doesn’t seem like an act now that Gold thinks about it. “Yeah, well listen here idiot. Don’t doubt me, one day I _will_ prove how good I am by beating you.” 

 

“When hell freezes over I guess, yeah.” And Gold knows about hell freezing over. He really is still speechless, kinda, he’s never truly speechless. Still, it’s weird his rival isn’t acting like a brat per usual...

 

...And it makes Gold suddenly self-conscious about whether or not he’s grown up that much either.

 

(The answer is no, he hasn’t, but there’s no way he’s admitting that.)

 

He’s been spacing out. Silver looks snidely amused by that, the jerk.

 

“See ya, idiot.”

 

Gold chokes and tries to call out a response to one-up him, but it’s too late, Silver’s already taken off the other way to head back into the depths of the cave.

 

Damn. Gold loves having the last word.

 

* * *

 

_There’s an emergency and Gold has no time to spare. Team Rocket is back._

_Find the director. No time to waste._

_So._

_Naturally Silver shows up in the Goldenrod Tunnel. And wastes some time._

_They battle, because of course they do. And Gold wins, because why wouldn’t he._

_He’s not losing to some rotten thief._

_At the end of the match, Silver sends out his stolen Totodile, now a fully-evolved Feraligatr. It snaps its jaws and growls viciously and is difficult to defeat, but Silver sure is angry when it is._

_There was a scar._

_Scar on its face._

_Bad scar._

_Healing scar._

_But bad scar._

_Bad._

_And now..._

_Gold is angry too._

 

* * *

 

Cerulean City doesn’t have much to offer him really. Gold thinks it’s nice and pretty, as most things seem to be recently, and he could maybe rent a bike here if he ever wanted, which is always good because he had to leave his back home months ago, but otherwise...

 

Yeah, pretty dull.

 

Actually though, he promised Misty he’d let her take a look at his red Gyarados next time he was in town.

 

Hm. Too bad he doesn’t have her number though.

 

He doesn’t even bother heading to the gym to find her, already knowing she’s up at the cape. He stuffs his hands in his pockets and whistles as he walks north, pep in his step. It’s not as cold as it was in Mt. Moon, but it’s still cold, and once again his legs beg for him to put on some kinda pants so they can catch a break from the cutting chill. As if.

 

Nearly at Nugget Bridge, he takes the chance to glance over to the left at the river. It’s not iced over yet, which is good. He never paid attention in science class so he doesn't know where the water Pokemon go in the winter. He hopes they'll be okay.

 

Passed the river is the ever-ominous Cerulean Cave tucked off to the side. Nobody knows what's in there and like, sure he's curious, but he's not about to barge in and demand the guard...let him pass...

 

Gold notices two things right then.

 

One, there’s no guard outside. Usually there’s a few but there is _always_ at least one, keeping people from going in and getting crushed by the freaky strong wild Pokemon in there.

 

Two, there’s a girl making her way towards the cave.

 

With no hesitation, Gold takes off running, digging his hand in his bag and grabbing Dragonite’s Pokeball. He might be fine climbing but running even this far leaves him winded by the time he’s at the edge of the cliff before the river. There’s no time to go all the way around either, he calls out Dragonite and climbs onto her back, ordering her forward with a panicked yell.

 

She’s usually so stubborn but for once, she listens, swooping down where he directs her in front of the cave.

 

He jumps off her when he’s a few feet from the ground and darts forward, grabbing the girl’s arm without a second thought.

 

She whips around and clocks him in the face.

 

Ow.

 

 _Ow_.

 

It’s his cheek not his nose but _ow_ that hurts. Gold steps back with a hiss of pain, clutching his cheek. Behind him he can feel Dragonite readying for an attack. He holds his hand back to stop her.

 

The girl still looks furious. Gold’s feeling just about the same right now.

 

“What is your problem?!” She exclaims, putting her hands on her hips. Gold could laugh, if he wasn’t so angry. Seriously? _She’s_ mad?!

 

“What’s your problem! You just punched me!” He yells back, raising his voice louder than hers.

 

She takes that as a challenge to be even louder, apparently.

 

“You grabbed me! I figured you were some creep or something!”

 

“Yeah! Because you were going into the cave!”

 

“So?!”

 

“So! There’s usually a guard out here for a reason!”

 

“I can handle myself _just_ fine, thank you very much.” She huffs and flips her hair, sticking her nose up at him. Gold considers telling her she’s insane and a complete idiot and a million other insults racing through his head.

 

He doesn’t though. Instead, he takes the chance to get a good look at her. For the police report he’s filing out of spite.

 

From a distance he thought she was younger, but it looks like she could reasonably be his age. She’s got long, bushy brown hair that fluffs out in every direction it can. Her brown eyes are _far_ from being warm and inviting like brown eyes should be. She’s wearing mostly black, bundled up for the cold, like a smart person would do.

 

After checking her exasperated looking face again, it clicks. Ah, she wasn’t really familiar per say, but he recognizes her now.

 

From a picture above his.

 

“You...your name is Green, isn’t it? You’re a champion?” He asks her, probably out of no where considering he was just yelling at her. Likewise, she looks taken aback.

 

“Uh...excuse me?”

 

“My name’s Gold. I’m a Champion too.”

 

“Oh...Oh!” Green exclaims, more eager than she was before, clasping her hands together. “You’re the latest one! I remember hearing some of your radio interviews, you’re a total brat!” She laughs. He tenses, completely exaggerated.

 

Really? Does everyone his age have a chip on their shoulder?

 

He feels himself scowl. His cheek is still warm under his hand and he’s worried he might bruise.

 

It’s nothing compared to the blow to his ego he just received.

 

She gasps suddenly, expression weirdly guilty. “Oh no! You were just trying to help me huh? That’s so sweet. You’re such a good kid.” She praises him with fake niceness and tries to pat his head. He swats her hand away and ducks back. Dragonite growls.

 

He doesn’t appreciate being talked down to.

 

He still doesn’t reply, not verbally at least, and he must be glaring daggers at her at this point. Green seems more amused by it than anything.

 

Unlike the recent opponents he’s had lately, Green spares no more than a second for silence before she starts babbling again.

 

“We should have a battle! And if you beat me it’s totally a make-up for me punching you, right?” She offers with a grin, pulling out a Pokeball and tossing it into the air.

 

Gold does the unexpected. He does something he doesn’t think he’s ever done before. _Ever_.

 

He turns her down.

 

It’s a short and simple “No”. Green looks surprised. She stops tossing the Pokeball, her hand going to run through her wild hair.

 

“Oh. Yeah you probably should get your cheek looked at huh?” She frowns, not seeming ashamed, but maybe concerned? He doesn’t care.

 

She continues. “Well, maybe I could get your Pokegear number? So we could battle another time!”

 

“No.” He tells her flatly. She’s caught off guard again, scowling now.

 

“What- come on now! It was an honest mistake! Don’t hold a grudge here kid!”

 

“I’m the same age as you.”

 

“Wh-, really? You’re 13?” She asks, kinda confused.

 

He’s 12.

 

“Yes.” He tells her anyway. She looks curious, but she quickly shrugs it off.

 

“Whatever. C’mon you seriously won’t give me your number?”

 

“No.”

 

“Well-, why not!”

 

“I’m not associating with a criminal.” He replies bluntly. It’s a bit dramatic.

 

“Criminal!” She exclaims, putting her hands on her hips, angry again. “I was just going to poke around a little!”

 

“In a no-entry cave.”

 

“Well-“

 

“With the guard not outside.”

 

“Sure but-“

 

“And you were trying to get in anyway.”

 

“I guess-“

 

“That’s a crime, idiot.” He deadpans, huffing. She pouts.

 

“Well, whatever! That’s still a crummy reason for denying me a battle.” She tells him, and Gold’s done here. He’s like five seconds away from blowing a fuse. They’re just going in circles at this point.

 

He’s going to leave an impression on her, though.

 

Gold turns and starts heading towards Dragonite. Before Green can stutter out some kind of comment to keep him there, he tells her, in the chilling voice he’s used only against Rocket members and scum like them:

 

“Stay away from the cave. Otherwise, you’re a no-good criminal. And the world owes criminals no kindness.”

 

Already on Dragonite’s back, he pats her side, and she takes off before Green can say something. Gold looks down at her as they fly away, and her face is an open-mouthed blank look of bewilderment. Good.

 

Well.

 

Actually, he might have been a bit too dramatic there. Whoopsie daisy.

 

* * *

 

_The Goldenrod Radio Tower is surrounded by police officers. They’re doing nothing more than keeping the crowd back and talking to people who were able to flee before the takeover happened._

_But they’re not going in, for some reason._

_So Gold does._

_He knows he’s going to get in so much trouble but someone has to do something. There are still people trapped in there._

_And he’s not scared of Team Rocket. What are they gonna do, beat up a kid? As if._

_There’s a back door in the alley behind the tower where he took care of some Rocket grunts the last time he was here. He saw an employee walk out to take out the garbage before._

_It’s locked. He’s careful not to be too loud when he orders Typhlosion to break down the door._

_The cops would be angry with him. He’s not supposed to be there._

_Not supposed to be there._

_..._

_But someone has to do something._

 

* * *

 

 

Looks like Misty might not be seeing his special Gyarados anytime soon.

 

Gold’s at the Cerulean City Pokemon Center for the first time in a couple days. He’s just finished up with his task of catching an Electabuzz at the Kanto Power Plant, which somehow turned into a weird vigilante quest involving him tracking down a rogue Team Rocket grunt that ran off with part of the operating system. Normally, he’d be pretty put out having to run errands for other trainers who _should_ be able to handle things themselves, but it’s Rocket and he’s always got time to settle some grudges with them.

 

Besides, now the Magnet Train is finally operational. Which is sweet, that means he can probably head back to Johto tomorrow.

 

He’s got business there anyway.

 

His mom’s sent him a message telling him he’s gotten a letter from the Chairman of the League’s Board (that she so “kindly” opened for him before telling him about it). Turns out, being nearly two years behind on his schooling is actually not something he can just brush off.

 

And if he doesn’t return home and begin trying to catch up by the end of the year, his Trainer’s license is getting suspended.

 

Nuts.

 

So that’s something he’s got to look forward to dealing with.

 

It gives him time to take care of something else though.

 

While some of his most worn clothes are currently going through the wash in the Pokemon Center’s laundromat, guarded by a very sweet ~~and cute~~ lass who offered to watch them, he goes off to take care of said something else.

 

He finds the directory of important contacts in the Center’s communication room. The gym leaders and League section’s e-mail accounts are likely monitored by someone from their staff, but that’s okay. It'll get to them one way or another.

 

After finding the one he needs, he logs into one of the PCs there and then into his own e-mail account. It’s just his first and last name. His mom wouldn’t let him pick anything cool because she secretly hates fun or something.

 

It takes him a while to write the e-mail he needs. Mostly because he has to keep checking his grammar and spelling and level of formality. It’s not one of the things he's amazing at.

 

Gold rereads it a few times, even resorting to mumbling it to himself out loud to make absolutely sure there’s no mistakes. Then he sends it. And breathes a sigh of relief that he did it. He double checks and makes sure that it sent before heading back to the laundry room to relieve the girl of her clothes-watching duty.

 

* * *

 

_Dear Lance,_

_Hello, how are you doing today? This is Gold, from Johto. I am the most recent Indigo League Champion and we worked together to take down Team Rocket in Mahogany Town._

_Because I can’t be champion yet, I wanted to know if there was a way for me to be gym leader instead. I have 16 badges from Kanto and Johto. I’ve looked online at the process and didn’t find much help. I know you are probably busy but since you are head of the Indigo League’s gym leaders I was hoping you could help me._

_Thank you very much. My Pokegear number is [999-1-12-11] if talking with that is better._

_Sincerely,_

_Gold_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it's a little funny that this chapter was named for Gold's encounter with Red and yet, that doesn't even take up half of this chapter. Woops.


	3. Found Missing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Gold-, we should say something about this. About, the ball, and what we did and-“
> 
> “No.” He murmurs, staring at the ground in front of them. Crystal frowns, and he speaks before she can interject. “No. Sometimes, I think, it’s better we leave things unsaid.”
> 
> “But Gold-“ She protests and he interrupts, glaring her down with intensity he didn’t know he still had.
> 
> “No, because. Some things need to be left a secret, Crystal. Some things we can’t tell.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never mentioned this really but even though this story takes place with the GSC characters, there are some events from HGSS and other games. Liiiiike what's happening in this chapter!!
> 
> TW // There is some brief vomiting in one scene+a few mentions of Gold feeling like he might puke

_Home meant a lot of things but it also meant going back to school, which Gold reluctantly had agreed to doing._

_His career as a trainer was on the line, after all._

_But it comes with a few issues._

_There’s no school in New Bark Town, only a preschool for the little ones and Gold might be behind on schooling but he’s not quite that far behind._

_Violet City was too far a walk._

_He could’ve taken the train from Cherrygrove to a school in Goldenrod, if his mom hadn’t said no, so..._

_He was stuck going back to the same one he went to before he left._

_He’s not happy about it._

_But._

_Lucky for him it lasts for just a day._

_Gold goes back for one day, and then doesn’t have to go anymore._

_Mom understood when he explained what happened._

_The school understood when she made them._

_His makeup work for each week gets picked up by his mom on the way home from work. He’s responsible enough now to do it on his own._

_Gold still feels trapped in his room each day, but it’s better than it was._

_To an extent._

 

* * *

 

 

For some reason, Gold finds his room kinda doesn’t feel like his room anymore.

 

When he left initially, he let his mom use some of the money he sent home to redecorate. It looked fine, he supposed. At the time he was never home long enough to really pay attention. Even after he became champion he was too busy fuming over his humiliation to pay attention.

 

But now that he’s stuck there for the majority of his day doing school work?

 

Looking at literally anything in the room is more interesting than what he’s supposed to do.

 

Like, how there’s stuffed Pokemon dolls on his dresser now, and posters on his wall, and a new rug and curtains that aren't just cheap blinds.

 

And when he first noticed that his mom had went through and hung up all his medals and trophies from tournaments and his championship and the award he received for defeating Team Rocket well, he admits he flushed a little.

 

It’s not bad changes, he appreciates her work. It just kinda feels very different from him.

 

Gold’s getting sidetracked again. Damn.

 

He sighs and lowers his chair from where he had it balancing on its back legs while he looked at a poster of the League’s lineup on it. Quickly, he checks his e-mail on his personal PC and tries not to feel disappointed it’s empty.

 

It’s hard not to. It’s been so long without a yes or no from Lance. He keeps thinking he should send another one but he doesn't wanna come off as annoying...

 

Ugh. He doesn’t like thinking about it.

 

What was he working on again?

 

Right, fractions. He got stuck and got distracted. Right.

 

Exhaling another sigh he rests his elbows on his desk and reads over the problem. His hand finds its way into his hair to knot itself up in the black shaggy mess as he thinks. Mom said he was making good progress catching up, but days like this where he gets stuck make him question himself.

 

If he can get this done, he can be finished with his 4th level math. He should be a first year in middle school by now. The school said he might be able to catch up to where his peers are by the start of the next school year in April if he really tried. Gold thinks that he can catch up to only being a year behind by the end of the year, which gives him enough wiggle room to go journeying again with his Pokemon.

 

It's a thought process he's ran over many times before. Enough so it naturally flows through now, a reminder of what he needs to do to succeed.

 

So, a lot is resting on him finishing his fractions.

 

And the last thing he needs right now is to get distracted wondering why they made Lance look so laughably hunky in that League poster. Or by how rude the guy and his communication team was.

 

The last thing he needs is any distractions, period.

 

...

 

He’s 13 now.

 

His birthday came and went a month ago with little fanfare on his behalf.

 

Well okay, he realizes that’s not exactly fair, since he heard several shoutouts to him from radio stations in Goldenrod and got a few cards in the mail. From some of Johto’s gym leaders he got along with well on his journey and a handful from fans too.

 

Even a few neighbors sent some in, Elm included. Gold found it amusing how Elm’s handwriting was as quick and clumsy as the man himself. Charming, almost.

 

And the one labelled from the Oak family made him feel pretty special. He got a text from Crystal and a hug from her mom.

 

So at least he’s not forgettable.

 

But besides that, there was no party or anything. He was too _old_ for parties, he’s a teenager now.

 

Still, his mom took him to Violet City to have dinner and pick up a cake, and he got to re-challenge Falkner but with his 8 badge-level team this time, which was definitely more fun.

 

Crystal wasn’t home then. Gold tried not to be jealous that at the time it was the end of May and she started her adventure almost two years prior yet was still able to travel freely.

 

And now it’s the end of June and Gold is _really_ trying hard not to be jealous she’s still out in Kanto doing whatever she’s been up to for almost a year.

 

Bitterly, he thinks she doesn’t need to be there anyway since she’s not there for badges or the League but _whatever_. Neither her nor Elm will tell him what favors she’s doing and he’s totally not annoyed by it at all.

 

He stares at the math worksheet in front of him he’s been spacing out on. Fractions.

 

Part of him wishes his mom wasn’t at work so she could help him. And even tinier part of him longs for Crystal because despite everything annoying about her she knows math, and has probably already done this stuff and could help him.

 

He wonders why he keeps thinking back to her. Probably because he knows no one else his age to reference his thoughts to. Except Silver.

 

And Gold seriously hopes he's smarter than Silver.

 

With a sigh, he opens the textbook loaned to him from the Cherrygrove Primary School he could be stuck at instead. He’s glad he’s at home doing this, at least.

 

He sets to work trying to read about how to multiply and divide fractions and writes the steps as he follows along. Below him, there’s a clanging noise from the kitchen and a yowl, followed by a few back and forth growling and cries. He sits there and holds his focus, longing desperately to go down and see what their fuss is all about. But he doesn’t.

 

* * *

 

_After Mt. Silver, Gold takes care of a few things before he has to head home. He went through Mt. Moon and ran some errands for Elm._

_Besides the…annoyances he ran into, it was otherwise a success on his part. Check._

_He goes and finds Blue to gloat about his victory. They’re alone on Cinnabar again amongst the rubble and ash but the weather is nice and the island is interesting so it’s fine._

_Blue seems annoyed by Gold’s habit of prolonging the length of his stories, but he doesn’t interrupt him, so it’s fine._

_They take a picture together, both trying to outdo each other with bunny ears and wider and cheesier grins. It’s fun._

_Blue talks a while more._

_About Red, about winning, about losing. He doesn’t seem particularly invested in his own words._

_So Gold isn't either._

_He pays attention, but only a little. His Espeon seems fond of the new Umbreon Blue’s been sporting around._

_Gold likes watching Espeon try to play with her. They’re cute._

_He gets Blue’s number, at the end of it all. Which could be handy in the future, maybe. So, check._

_If he could have it his way, Gold would hang around the Fighting Dojo for a while to see if he could grab a few more numbers from important people in Kanto, but he doesn't have the time to spare._

_So, last item on the list, he sees Oak. Listens to his wordy babble on Red and Mt. Silver and Gold’s long work on data collecting for the Dex._

_The praise is nice, but he has stuff to do._

_In exchange for his patience though, Oak offers him a reward. Gold goes to pick one without a second thought and then,_

_changes his mind._

_Thinks about his mom._

_Debates his options for a few minutes._

_And picks another._

_Oak seems pleased, for some reason. Gold supposes that’s nice._

_He admires the shiny new gift he’s holding in his hand. He won’t be keeping it, though._

_But anyways._

_Check._

* * *

It’s a hot, sunny day in July when there's a surprise knock at the door. Gold looks up from the book summary he was writing, about to run down, but he hears his mom open the door instead. Shrugging it off as one of the neighbors, he tries to return to his work.

 

Then he hears his mom call his name.

 

He groans, sliding his chair back from his desk, disturbing Ampharos from where he was sleeping on the bed. Gold just gives him a wave and steps over Typhlosion napping on the floor and Espeon asleep in the window’s sunlight near the door.

 

His team has been growing exceptionally lazy recently, he notes with some displeasure.

 

Putting it aside, he runs down the steps before his mom yells for him again. In the kitchen, he can see her new Bulbasaur washing and putting away sparkly clean dishes.

 

It’s singing to itself which is, admittedly, very cute. He’s glad he picked that one for her.

 

His mom is waiting for him by the door with a smile on her face, which rarely means anything good for Gold, and he can’t quite see who’s at the door so he keeps on stepping forward...

 

Ah. That’s who.

 

“Hey! You look sweaty.” Crystal says with a cheeky grin, waving at him. Gold scoffs, heading all the way to the front door.

 

She looks about the same, maybe a little taller. Same stupid blue pigtails, same annoying voice, same smug little face. A new outfit, for the summer probably.

 

Her skin’s noticeably redder.

 

He’ll go for that, then.

 

“And you look sunburnt. Nice of you to drop in, finally, jeez. Think you’re too good for New Bark now, hmm?” He jests.

 

His mom scowls some, apparently not picking up on the fact that he's joking. It earns him a stern “ _Gold_.”

 

Crystal finds it amusing at least.

 

“Jealous you haven’t been enjoying the summer?” She shoots back, and yes, he is, but he’s not letting her know that.

 

Even though she probably does, admittedly.

 

He rolls his eyes anyway. “No I love homework and being on house arrest. What did we do to earn the grace of your holy presence, your majesty?”

 

“Gold.” His mom scolds, to deaf ears.

 

Crystal puts her hand on her hip, smiling at his mom. “No worries ma’am, can I borrow your son for a few though? I gotta talk to him about something.” She says so cordially and gag, Gold has to hold down his vomit. She’s so fake.

 

And worse, his mom totally buys it, looking awful pleased with herself. Traitor.

 

“Of course, dear. Don’t keep him out too long though, he’s got work to do still.”

 

“Moooooommm.”

 

“Will do, ma’am.” Crystal replies and gives Gold a look, waiting for him to nod in return before heading outside. He follows, closing the door behind him, watching through the window to make sure his mom walks away. No eavesdropping allowed.

 

In the backyard, he thinks he can hear Scizor sparring with someone, probably Ursaring. Victreebel is likely there too then, refereeing.

 

He can’t take them out anywhere so he just kinda lets them out of their balls and they can do whatever as long as they don’t cause trouble.

 

They’re good Pokemon, they’ll behave, but he wants to make sure they’re getting exercise-

 

A hand waving in front of his face makes him jump and jerk out of his thoughts.

 

Crystal looks thoroughly entertained by him zoning out.

 

“With me, space cadet?”

 

He huffs, fixing his cap absentmindedly. “Reluctantly. What did you want, exactly?”

 

“Well-“

 

“And what have you been doin’, huh? All secretive and shit. What the hell.” He adds, crossing his arms, finding himself a bit pleased with the scowl crossing her face.

 

“Okay, first off, stop cursing so much. You sound stupid.” She bosses him, rolling her eyes. He’s less amused now. “Second, don’t interrupt me, jerk. I really do need your help with this so behave and be quiet and I’ll tell you what I’ve been up to later.”

 

“Ohoho, little Miss Perfect needs my help? Well who am I to deny someone of my excellence and talent.” Gold boasts in a mock dramatic voice, grinning. He holds his hand on his chest to up the act.

 

Crystal seems displeased by the nickname. It seems like maybe he hit a nerve? Huh.

 

He feels a bit bad. His grin doesn’t falter, though.

 

Neither does her scowl. “I can find someone else.”

 

“I’m kidding, so sensitive! Go on though.” He waves her worries off dismissively, then takes his cap off to fan himself with it. It really is hot.

 

It’s too bad his Piloswine won’t stay out of his ball to be his personal AC...

 

He keeps his eyes on her, but his thoughts are already running off. She seems to pick up on it, so she wastes no time starting.

 

“I um, well I’ll spare you the details but I acquired...a strange item, let's call it, and I don’t know what to do with it. I thought you could help.” She admits and reaches into her bag, likely to grab it.

 

Okay, now she’s got his attention. He raises an eyebrow. “I like details.”

 

“Well fine just, look at it first though.” She replies all huffy and grabs out what looks like a Pokeball, handing it to him. He takes it and holds it up.

 

It’s...safe to say it’s unlike any Pokeball he’s seen before.

 

It gleams in the harsh summer sunlight. Metallic paint, he thinks, at first. But after scratching at it he realizes it’s actual metal. It’s heavy too, definitely a different metal than they use for modern Pokeballs...

 

The top is a golden color, and the bottom a shimmering gray. Is it actually silver and gold? Huh.

 

It’s initialed too. He furrows his brows down, rubbing his finger over the engravement.

 

“Huh. ‘GS’? What does GS mean.”

 

She frowns, crossing her arms. “No clue. It’s not empty, but it won’t open either.”

 

“Weird.” He mumbles quietly and presses the center to open it. Sure enough, it neither opens nor releases a Pokemon.

 

“Where did you get this, anyway?” He asks after a moment. Crystal shuffles her foot, kicking a bit of dirt. Her head’s lowered a bit, and if Gold didn’t know better he’d think she looked...almost guilty.

 

“Well um, before I left Kanto I went to go say goodbye to Professor Oak and give him a status update.” She starts, and Gold wonders what the hell that means, but doesn’t interrupt. “And there was another girl there when I was leaving, and Oak was busy so she had to wait and I decided to talk to her.”

 

“Uhuh.”

 

“She was real sweet and nice and all that, and she said she was a trainer and she had a Pokedex and starter from Oak. So I knew she was trustworthy.”

 

“Uhuh.”

 

“Well she said she was also a bit of a mystery hunter too. Which is cool right?”

 

“Sure.” He nods.

 

“But then she said she was stumped about something and so I asked her what it was. And then she pulled that out and explained how she tried to open it and nobody knew what it was so she was gonna ask the professor.”

 

“Makes sense.”

 

“Yeah. But then! She asked if I would take it off her hands and try to figure it out. And she looked so defeated and u-um...well I felt...bad I guess.” Crystal quiets at the last part, rubbing her arm. Gold gives her a quizzical look. It was something more than that, for sure.

 

“And you trust her? It could be a scam. Or something stolen.” He questions, to which Crystal shakes her head.

 

“No she said she found it when she was looking through the remains of Cinnabar Island. And it was around where the Pokemon Mansion was so it’s gotta be real.”

 

He blinks. Huh. Blue hung around Cinnabar a lot. Maybe he was looking for something like it too?

 

“Okay fine. So she gives it to you, then what?” He asks, looking back at the Pokeball. It feels warm, from him holding it probably.

 

“Well she gave me her number and told me to call her if I figured it out, or if I gave up on it. So I told her okay and then I came home and well...” Crystal hesitates, pouting at him. “I didn’t know where to start, and Professor Elm didn’t know, so I thought you might.”

 

Gold feels a bit flattered, but knows he’s stumped too. He tries to think of what to do with this now.

 

He wants to stay involved, so who does he know that can help...

 

Ah. He grins a bit, feeling confident. “I think I know a guy, actually.”

 

Crystal’s face lights up. “What? Really?”

 

He nods, tossing the Pokeball up and down. It really is heavy. “Yeah, I met this guy in Azalea who makes Pokeballs. He’s an expert and all that. I could give it to him.”

 

“Oh perfect! I need to go to Route 34 too and that’s on the way! We can go together then and see your friend.” She replies eagerly and he gives her an odd look.

 

“What the hell is on Route 34?”

 

“I’ll show you along the way.” She brushes him off seamlessly and goes to take the ball back. He recoils it to his chest, giving her an exasperated look. She returns one back.

 

“What, do you really think I trust you with that not to lose it?” She rolls her eyes, and okay fair he’ll give her that.

 

Reluctantly, he hands it to her. In a strange way, Gold feels a bit of an empty feeling doing so.

 

She puts it back in her bag and taps her finger against her chin. “Okay so, I’m gonna be a bit busy until the first week of August, with school and taking tests to see if I really have been keeping up. But then we can probably go?”

 

Gold thinks about it, then shakes his head. “Well no, he might need a bit to figure it out. So I’ll grab it this weekend and fly it over to him, then in August we can check it out, how’s that.”

 

“Fine by me. Come by my house to get it then, okay?” Crystal offers with a small smile, and Gold nods, finding her surprisingly less irritating when she's actually being interesting.

 

“Sure. Hey before you go, one last question.”

 

She gives him a curious look. “Go on?”

 

“What’s that girl’s name?”

 

“Oh!” Crystal laughs and lightly smacks her forehead. “Duh, it totally slipped my mind.”

 

Gold snorts, swatting her arm with his hat. “Dummy.”

 

“Shut up.” She teases, then adds. “Her name’s Green! Kinda a weird name, huh?”

 

...

 

“Oh god damn it.”

 

“...Huh?”

 

* * *

 

_When Gold finally leaves Kanto for good, or at least for the time being, he flies from Pallet all the way home._

_Dragonite gets tired after a couple hours of flight so the moment they can safely swim he switches to riding on Gyarados until he’s back to New Bark Town._

_There, he pulls out a new, pristine Pokeball from his bag and walks home._

_Not even a scratch on it. Brand new._

_He hides the Pokeball behind his back as he walks inside his house. His mom sits at the kotatsu, listening to the news, reading a magazine._

_She smiles at him and he grins back._

_She asks how he is and he doesn’t tell her about upset he is that he can’t continue adventuring._

_He just says he’s okay._

_And then, he sits across from her, and holds up the Pokeball. She looks intrigued._

_Gold tells her it’s a gift Pokemon from Oak. She hums, says how kind it was of him, that she’ll have to make him some sweets._

_He tells her it’s for her. She looks confused._

_But when she releases the creature from the ball, she seems absolutely delighted._

_It’s a Bulbasaur. She loves gardening and plants. He tells her that’s why he picked that one._

_It looks a bit confused and nervous around these strangers, but the Bulbasaur quickly warms up to them. Gold thinks his mom might tear up._

_And then, she hugs him._

_So very tight._

_And kisses his face all over which Gold hates but he lets her do it with only a whine of protest coming from him._

_What a thoughtful boy, she say, what a considerate boy she’s raised._

_Gold thinks it’s the least he can do. He hasn’t been the best kid growing up._

_And mom does so much for him._

_He’s glad she’s happy. He’s glad he has her. He doesn’t know where he’d be without her._

_So he permits the hugs and kisses._

* * *

August arrives and Gold finds himself embarrassingly excited to be able to go venture across the region, even just for a little while.

 

It’s been over half a year since Kanto, he realizes as he’s getting ready to go. How lame.

 

Kurt called him a couple days prior on his Pokegear, telling him to come as soon as he could. He didn't sound particularly excited or gloomy, but Gold’s pretty eager to find out what he learned.

 

He doesn’t pay much mind to who he chooses as he grabs Pokeballs to take with. It’s not gonna matter unless he finds someone strong to battle along the way.

 

Actually, he could battle Bugsy. He plans for that, then.

 

There’s only gonna be one dead weight member on his team and that’s for his Noctowl. He loves the ol’ girl, but she was never much of a battler, so he left her with his mom to hang around town. But, Crystal said her Togetic didn’t like to fly her around so she needed to borrow one of his.

 

The look on her face when he told her they were gonna fly instead of taking the train to Goldenrod was super hilarious. He bets she has a fear of heights. He wouldn’t be surprised.

 

Mom’s at work so he just rushes out the door without a second thought, returning the Pokemon he’s taking with to their balls.

 

It’s blistering hot out and Gold’s never minded the heat, but he’s found he’s getting sweaty more and more easily.

 

He...knows why. Mom told him. He’s just not going to deal with it until he _absolutely_ has to.

 

When he knocks on Crystal’s door, he’s relieved she answers instead of her mom, and they start walking to Cherrygrove, since it’s closer to Azalea Town.

 

She talks about some meaningless thing Gold pretends to listen to when he actually tunes her out. She doesn’t pick up on it, at least.

 

When they do take off flying, Gold’s suspicions were proved correct, and if he was a bit meaner he might’ve laughed at the way Crystal clung to Dragonite, white as a sheet. Or at least, laughed loud enough for her to hear.

 

* * *

_Gold’s daily routine has been pretty much the same for the past what, 7 or 8 months now?_

_He wakes up at 7. Makes breakfast for him and his mom. Feeds his Pokemon_

_Eats with his mom. She goes to work. He does the dishes._

_Upstairs. Checks his e-mail. Does his homework. Eats lunch at some point._

_Does more homework. Checks his e-mail. Does more homework._

_Eats the dinner mom makes. Feeds his Pokemon. Watches the news with her for an hour._

_Walks around town for a bit. Comes back home._

_Goes upstairs. Checks his e-mail. Does homework again._

_Showers. Grimaces at acne now sprouting up on him. Shaves his face. Patches up the cuts on his face._

_Gets ready for bed. Calls in his Pokemon. Checks his e-mail._

_Goes to bed. Wakes up the next day at 7. Repeats._

_Gold’s starting to go insane. He longs desperately for something new and exciting to happen to shake things up._

_And that July, it begins._

_..._

_The GS ball begins to plague his sleep in the weeks before August._

 

* * *

 

...

 

Kurt didn’t know anything about the ball.

 

Gold does his very hardest not to be disappointed but it’s seriously difficult because _damn it_ that was his last hope to figuring it out. Now, they’re stuck at square one again.

 

Kurt had warned them to be careful if they planned on going into the Ilex Forest. It was awake and it was angry, he claimed. Something was wrong, he told them. Gold didn’t get it, but he promised they’d be cautious. No use in angering an old man for no reason.

 

As him and Crystal walk west towards the woods, he finds himself glaring at the GS ball. He’s extremely tempted to chuck it off into the maze of underbrush and trees and forget about it completely, let it be someone else’s problem.

 

And he probably would if he wouldn’t have to deal with Crystal’s bitching.

 

Gold spares her a quick glance. She’s been quiet since they left, her expression unreadable. He figures she’s disappointed, too. It was her mystery after all.

 

They head into the forest without a word to each other. Neither know what to say, after all.

 

Gold only speaks to call out Victreebel and order him cut down some thick shrubbery blocking the normal path, then he returns him. It’s quiet again.

 

Staring down at the GS ball again, he wonders if there’s anything they can do. Maybe there’s a library they can look through? Or they could get access to the database records of all registered Pokeballs and see if anyone had this one so they could ask...

 

Gold stops walking. Crystal stops a few paces ahead of him to look at him confused but he doesn’t pay attention. Because...

 

The ball is moving.

 

Side to side, just a little. It feels _alive_ , and he quickly tells Crystal this. She seems alarmed, looking around frantically for something that could be causing it.

 

Gold doesn’t. He watches the ball. It’s alive. Something is truly in there.

 

And then, he keeps walking, holding the ball in his upward facing palm, arm extended out. He lets it guide him.

 

Crystal calls his name, but he doesn’t respond. He thinks he hears her follow after.

 

He feels...almost hypnotized. Like he’s not in control anymore. His mind goes blank and he knows Crystal is trying to talk to him but he feels no desire to respond.

 

The balls shakes faster. The Pokemon inside is desperate. Gold walks faster.

 

And faster. And nearly starts running, arm still jutting out in front of him like some half-zombie on crack. He doesn’t care. It’s alive it’s alive it’saliveit’saliveit’salive-

 

Crystal yells out his name but it’s too late. He smacks right into something, _hard_.

 

He stumbles back and ends up falling down completely with a yelp. Crystal runs up to him, trying to help him up. When he fell, he dropped the GS ball, and now it's rolling forward. All on its own.

 

He stares in shock. How is it doing that?

 

In front of him is the Ilex Forest Shrine. Gold’s grateful he didn’t break anything running into it, he doesn't need the bad luck.

 

But...the ball is going towards it still, struggling to move in the thick forest grass. He feels like he can think again. Wonders what the hell came over him.

 

He thinks enough to put two and two together though. The ball...

 

Crystal is watching it too. Gold stands himself up, slowly, and clears his throat, neither taking the eyes off of it.

 

“I think...it wants me to put it in there.”

 

She jerks her head to look at him, taken aback, then glances between him and the ball. There's unsurety covering her face.

 

“Gold, are you sure about this...?”

 

He nods, swallowing hard. His mouth feels dry. “Yeah. Just...stay close, but get ready to run.”

 

His voice sounds weirdly serious. He doesn’t like it. It's can't be that bad, can it?

 

There’s a pit in his stomach and even in the shade of the trees it’s still hot as ever but he feels cold and clammy. Inching forward, he grabs the GS ball, and carefully places it inside the shrine. He braces himself for what may come.

 

A bright light flashes as the ball opens. It’s blinding and Gold shields his eyes, taking a step back. From behind him, he hears Crystal cry out in surprise.

 

When he’s able to look again, he sees it in front of him.

 

It’s small, and green, and ragged looking, hovering above the shrine with wide blue eyes.

 

It’s a Pokemon, Gold just doesn’t know _what_ the hell it is. He’s never seen one like it.

 

“Crys...what is that...?”

 

The creature looks down at them, nervous. He feels pity for the poor thing.

 

How long was it in there?

 

When he gets no response, he turns to look at her. Her face is wracked with confusion and fear, eyes darting as she tries to think.

 

He says her name again. She doesn’t look at him, but she finally speaks.

 

“That’s...a Celebi. A Celebi, I think.” She chokes out, hesitantly stepping towards the shrine. The Celebi makes an agitated, squeaky noise and flies back from her. She freezes.

 

“It’s a mythical Pokemon. You know what that is...right?” She asks and looks at him. He nods, he knows.

 

He just thought that, y'know, they were _mythical_. As in, not real.

 

She nods too, then continues. “My mom would tell me a myth that it’s the protector of the forest, and anyone who hurts it disappears, but...” She hesitates, frowning, watching the Celebi again. “What was it doing in that ball?”

 

Gold stares at it too, worried suddenly. Disappears? It sounds horrifying, and he feels disgusted when he realizes that someone must’ve trapped it in the GS ball for who knows how long. Who could do that to a Pokemon?

 

He takes a step towards the Celebi. It hisses at him.

 

He holds his hand behind him to quiet Crystal as he hears her ready to speak, then he shushes the Celebi, holding his hands up to show he's no threat.

 

Slowly, he takes another step. It hisses again, but seems more scared than angry this time. An eerie calm wash through him. He's in control.

 

He whistles a short tune, one he uses to guide his own Pokemon in battle. It seems curious.

 

One more step. Cautiously, he begins extending his hand towards it. He feels Crystal’s hand grip the bottom of his shirt.

 

The Celebi seems apprehensive, but it reaches its arm towards Gold as well, floating closer to him. Despite his fear for what it could do, he smiles at it, whistling the tune again. It blinks at him with big blue eyes and sings it back to him.

 

And then-

 

It goes down too quickly.

 

A crash in the distance. Sounds like something knocking a tree over.

 

A split second. Celebi’s eyes widen and everything happens too fast. Crystal shrieks. Gold thinks he might be yelling. Celebi glows.

 

The world spins. And spins. And spins and spins and spins and spins until Gold gets dizzy and loses sight.

 

Crystal is shrieking. He might be yelling.

 

Spinning. Spinning spinning spinning.

 

White.

 

* * *

           

_Spinningspinningspinningspinning_

_spinningspinningspinningandwhiteandspinningspinningandhe’sgoingtodiehe’s_

_goingtodiehe’sgoing_

_todiehe’sgoingtohe’sgoing_

_to-_

_...-_

_............-_

_..........................-_

_..............................................._

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

Pressure.

 

Everything feels heavy, too heavy, and sluggish and thick. Blood courses through him like lead it feels like. His heart beats slow, a rhythm pulse enough to lull him in his sleep.

 

Can his eyelids open? He feels so sleepy, so tired still, maybe he can go back asleep if he tries. Memories are blocked by a fogged wall.

 

Probably dreaming...

 

Someone is calling his name. They sounds frantic. So distant. Far away, like he’s underwater. Maybe he is?

 

He hears his name. Feels himself being rocked back and forth, a bit jerky actually. Maybe he should try to clear his head, open his eyes.

 

They sounds so worried about him. Did something bad happen?

 

His mind is covered in a dense haze and thinking passed it is so hard but he tries, and hopes it might work...

 

And then, it comes rushing back,

 

The forest, the GS ball, the shrine. Celebi. The white and the spinning. Spinning and white and spinning and spinning and-

 

Ah.

 

Gold is going to throw up.

 

He shoves whoever was shaking him back and scrambles onto all fours, ducking his head into what he's hoping is a bush and hurling. It’s gross, he knows. He heaves until his guts feel empty and tries to choke out some more. Coughs and sputters.

 

Wipes his mouth off on his sleeve, gross.

 

There’s a hand on his back, rubbing him, soothing.

 

When he turns his head Crystal is looking at him with concern, seeming pretty worse for wear herself. Her hair’s come undone from the pigtails and is sticking up everywhere in an odd V-shape. There’s dirt on her clothes and her face. She’s looking rather green herself.

 

Gold’s sure he doesn't look much better.

 

“Where’s Celebi?” He manages, his voice sounding hoarse and raspy. Crystal frowns, sitting back. In her lap she’s cradling the fainted creature. It must have overdone itself doing...whatever that was.

 

Gold coughs and pats his chest. The sky overhead is dimming in a mix of purple and pink. There’s a chilly breeze passing through.

 

It stays chilly. He looks around him. Takes in his surroundings. They aren’t in a forest anymore.

 

Actually...

 

He has no idea where they are. He takes it in.

 

They’re just outside a parking lot, with cars racing far from them in the street maybe ten meters away. The trees are turning orange and there’s large skyscrapers off in the distance but it doesn’t even matter to Gold because _they’re not in the Ilex Forest_.

 

Crystal isn’t saying anything. She seems dazed in shock. Gold decides he’ll pay attention to her in a minute.

 

He whips out his Pokegear and checks the map function on it. From it he learns they’re in Kanto, just outside of Viridian City.

 

He tells Crystal this. She just looks sicker.

 

“Gold, Celebi must have done this, right? She replies, voice weak. He nods in response, it's the lumpy thing that makes sense. She continues. ”But why here, I don’t understand.”

 

He frowns at her. He doesn’t have an answer.

 

He flips through his Pokegear’s tabs. It still says it’s midday in August, but it’s clock is internal, so that’s no help. Flips to the radio. It still works.

 

So they listen.

 

Last thing he remembered tuning in to was Oak's radio hour. So, talk radio.

 

They listen.

 

And wait.

 

The sun begins to set further and the sky darkens, their only light coming from the parking lot.

 

_<...Well thank you for joining us tonight. As reported by the Chief of Kanto’s Police Force, we have no whereabouts as to where Team Rocket’s boss Giovanni is, so make sure to call in and let them know if you have any information._

_< Rewards will be offered for any credible witnesses or information given. Do not interact with any Rocket members. Call the police immediately if you spot any about._

_< This is Goldenrod’s Radio Tower correspondence...>_

They listen. Gold doesn’t recognize the voice at all. Doesn't get what they're saying. But they wait.

 

Finally, they hear the date.

 

It’s October.

 

Five years ago.

 

October, of five years ago.

 

Well.

 

Gold feels like he may throw up again.

 

“Celebi caused this too, right? It must have.” He says quietly, more to himself, turning off the radio. They've heard enough. Crystal nods, her face only illuminated by the distant bright lights to their side.

 

“Professor Elm has told me that it was thought Celebi had the power to control time. So, it must have taken us back here, but for what reason, I don’t know.” She whispers, cradling the Pokemon closer to her.

 

Gold frowns, and unzips his bag. He never stocked up after battling Red, there’s no revives left. He checks Crystal’s bag and finds a standard one. Good enough.

 

Carefully, he applies the medicine to Celebi, then a Hyper Potion from his own supply to get it back to full health. Crystal watches him, confused.

 

“If we want to get back, it needs to be at full health. Otherwise, we’re trapped.” He explains, feeling grim. This is bad and he knows it. Neither of them know how long Celebi was trapped, and if it’s simply exhausted who knows how long it’ll take for it to wake up...

 

Gold is so incredibly tired. It couldn’t have been too much past noon before this happened, and he wasn’t awake for more than a few hours before it, but he feels like he could fall asleep for a day straight if he was able.

 

They move away from the bush where Gold, did the thing, and sit on the curb at the edge of the parking lot. The silence hangs heavy between them.

 

Time passes at a snail’s pace. He doesn’t want to check how long it’s actually been.

 

Celebi hasn’t stirred yet. They have to wait.

 

The wind is bitter cold. They’re dressed for summer still. Crystal starts shivering.

 

They have to wait.

 

...

 

The silence gets broken by shouting in the distance.

 

Quickly approaching them.

 

He hears Crystal suck in a sharp breath. Out of instinct he reaches towards Typhlosion’s Pokeball, ready in case whoever it is comes after them.

 

“You told me-, you were number one in the world! Are you gonna quit?!”

 

Gold sees two figures approaching, but in the dim of the night, he hopes it's enough cover to make sure they aren’t seen by them.

 

There’s an unease in his chest at that voice, he knows that voice, _why_ does he know that voice-

 

“What are you going to do now?!” The voice yells again, high pitched and angry.

 

A second voice replies, much deeper and calmer and straight up _bone-chilling_.

 

“...One must acknowledge one’s own defeat before he can move on. I will go solo...for now. And one day I will form a stronger organization.”

 

One figure begins to walk again, and as it gets closer Gold infers it’s most likely a man. The second figure runs after him, grabbing his arm.

 

They seem much shorter, and sound younger. Likely a kid...

 

“What aspect of you was number one?!” The child bellows, growing louder. “Gathering so many only to be defeated by a mere child!”

 

“Putting together the potential of many is how you produce a huge power, that’s what an organization is.” The man replies, just as collected as before, but there’s a new edge to his tone. “ _That_ is the strength of an organization. I failed to make use of my subordinates potential-”

 

The man sounds more uncontrolled now, angrier. He pulls his arm free of the child’s grip.

 

“-But you shall witness one day the revival of me and my Team Rocket!”

 

Gold inhales a strangled noise. Next to him he feels Crystal tense. He stares at the two figures, unblinking, frozen helpless on the side of the parking lot.

 

He knows what he needs to do. What he should do. What he should do right now and who that _man_ is but he-

 

He can’t-

 

Move-

 

...Shit.

 

What is wrong with him?

 

Crystal’s hand holds tight on forearm, as if to stop him from going. As if he could. They continue to watch. This isn’t their business but it feels like it is now.

 

The man begins to walk away, and once more the child steps after him. Gold spots a glimpse of red hair illuminated by the fluorescent lights.

 

“I don’t understand you, father!!” The child screams, voice cracking with raging fury. “You don’t make any sense!”

 

The man lowers his hand onto the child’s head. Tender, almost.

 

“One day, you will understand.” He says, then walks away, leaving the child behind.

 

Where the man is heading, Gold doesn’t know.

 

It makes him sick.

 

Who he is and who that kid is to him. Sickening.

 

“I-“ The child chokes, Gold fears they might be crying. “I don’t want to understand you! I will never become someone like you! A coward when you’re alone and acting like a tyrant when you’re in front of other cowards!”

 

They hiccup, wiping their arm on their sleeve, the ferocity never leaving their voice. “I will become strong! I will become a stronger man all by myself!

 

“ _All by myself!!_ ”

 

The child screams that one last hoarse, defeated yell, to nobody but Gold and Crystal and the lights above them all.

 

The man is gone.

 

And then, they begin to run. Right towards Gold and Crys and as they get closer the light catches more of their face and-

 

Gold realizes how he knows the voice.

 

Quickly, he stands, and without thinking rushes towards the child as he runs towards him. Crystal calls out his name, almost pleading. He ignores her.

 

The boy nearly runs into Gold but stops himself, staring up at him in wide-eyed alarm. His gray eyes are watering, nose turning red, and Gold is overcome with the overwhelming urge to hug him so tight and he has never wanted to hug _anyone_ in his life.

 

They stare at each other. Gold finds he’s at a loss as to what to say. Crystal rushes to his side, and gray eyes flicker between the two of them.

 

“S-“ Gold tries to start, but gets cut off.

 

“What are you staring at?” The kid asks in a harsh voice, scowl on his face, and he shoves Gold. Or, at least tries. And then storms off, rubbing his eyes, sniffling and hiccupping.

 

“Gold.” Crystal says, quiet. “Gold, why did you do that?” She asks so delicately it makes Gold want to scream at her and he doesn’t know why so he doesn’t.

 

“He was, my rival. That’s Silver. Silver. What-“ Gold swallows, about to ask what the hell that just was, when-

 

Light, a very faint, pinkish light.

 

From Crystal’s arms, Celebi rises, looks between the two of them, just as confused as they were when they first woke up.

 

Gold goes to ask why it took them here in the first place and then-

 

A bright white and a flash and-

 

_Not again-_

 

Spinning.

 

* * *

 

 

_Spinningspinningspinningspinningand_

_it’snotsobadthistimeit’snotsobad_

_thistime he can-_

_...-_

_Heisawakeawakebutstill_

_spinningand-_

_White-_

_.......-_

_................-_

_The back of his eyelids are becoming_

_a familiar sight._

_......_

 

 

* * *

 

It doesn’t take him as long this time to come to. But to be fair, where he wakes up is a lot louder this time. It aids the process.

 

Gold’s ears are ringing and his head is throbbing and he’s beyond dizzy but he still manages to push himself up off the ground until he’s sitting and he tries to look around.

 

Crystal is still passed out, Celebi in her arms, and he quickly rushes over to check her breathing.

 

He breathes a sigh of relief. She seems okay. A bit scraped up but otherwise, okay.

 

With that out of the way, he looks around them to take it all in. It’s a cave, clearly, and there’s large gaps in the ceiling high above that leaks in enough light for them. Likely noon, or sometime around there, he decides.

 

It’s cold, but not quite as cold as before. Humid and stuffy. Early summer, he infers. Wherever they were taken, it’s probably summer.

 

His ears stop ringing enough he can finally take in the overwhelming crashing noise just off to the side from them. He looks and sees a waterfall pouring down alarming close and realizes how near the edge of the cliff they are.

 

Probably not a good spot to stay in.

 

Mustering all his strength, he drags Crystal and Celebi closer to the wall and slumps back down next to them.

 

He holds his forehead and breathes. The noise is too much. He closes his eyes.

 

And then, checks his Pokegear’s map. ‘Tohjo Falls’, in Johto. He vaguely remembers going around the outside of it, but took one look at the menacing waterfalls and decided it wasn’t worth the effort.

 

He finds the radio. It’s, hard to get any signal and what he does hear is mostly static.

 

It might be broken, actually. He’s only getting the same thing on each channel.

 

With a huff he puts it away, then hugs his knees and waits. Hates waiting.

 

God he just wants to go home.

 

He thinks about what happened before. The man and his son, his son who is...

 

...

 

He can’t take it, after a few minutes he gets up and starts to explore.

 

Quickly, when he’s only a few meters down from where he was, he can tell that there’s light coming from a cavern hidden under the cover of a waterfall. And as he gets closer...

 

The repeating drawl of radio babble can be heard.

 

Behind him, he hears shuffling and footsteps, and nearly jumps out of his skin when something touches his back.

 

Gold curses aloud and quickly whips around ready to attack, then breathes a sigh of relief.

 

Just Crystal.

 

He gives her a scolding look, but she might be too out of it to acknowledge it.

 

“Where are we...?” She asks quietly, and he mumbles the reply. She frowns and goes to speak again, but he holds a finger to his mouth.

 

“Stay close behind me. We’re not alone.” He whispers, adding. “And keep quiet. Guard Celebi.”

 

After a brief moment, she nods, grabbing his shirt, determination crossing her face. He turns around and keeps going, keeping himself as silent as possible.

 

Nearly at the door-sized hole in the wall he grabs Typhlosion’s ball, readying for what he may encounter.

 

And when he steps inside, there’s a man in front of him.

 

And the radio babble trickling in through the portable one in the corner suddenly becomes clear.

 

It's...

 

Two years ago.

 

And that's.

 

Giovanni.

 

* * *

 

_At eleven years old, Gold has done some pretty stupid, reckless things._

_But riding the elevator to the observation deck of the Radio Tower to defeat Team Rocket’s impromptu boss and stop another uprising is..._

_Probably pretty out there even for his standards._

_The elevator is slow._

_He watches through the glass windows as he goes up one floor._

_Another floor._

_Another floor._

_The sky is colored a beautiful sunset of colors as the afternoon approaches and paints the heavens above. He focuses on that._

_His stomach is twisting and he wants to puke._

_Gold is eleven years old._

_And he is scared._

_Beyond scared._

_And he is on his own._

_The elevator dings and the doors slide open._

_The Goldenrod cityscape is huge and expansive and full in front of him._

_They need him to not fail._

_Gold takes a deep breath to calm his nerves._

_Then steps out._

* * *

 

There are two dead weight members of his team and he led with the wrong Pokemon so it got wiped and he hates to admit it but. Gold is losing. He is losing and he is losing bad and he cannot _afford_ to lose, damn it.

 

He can’t send out Noctowl. She’s too underleveled, she’ll be crushed, he wouldn’t do that to her. He can’t send out Gyarados, he’s too big for the room. He would be perfect for this opponent but he can’t. It’s no good.

 

Espeon is doing his hardest to defeat Giovanni’s poison-types with his psychic powers, but he’s taken too many ghost and dark-type attacks.

 

Gold knows he doesn’t have much longer.

 

The Nidoqueen faints and Giovanni sends out a black birdlike-Pokemon Gold doesn’t recognize.

 

Espeon goes down.

 

Gold sends out Dragonite and orders her forward. Behind him Crystal is still watching, hopefully still with Celebi. He glances back and luckily, she is. They exchange a look.

 

Her eyes are wide and she’s pale white, but when their eyes meet her expression hardens at him and she nods. A wordless exchange.

 

If he is to fail, she needs to take his place.

 

Under no circumstance are they to let Giovanni leave.

 

The radio in the corner drills out the repeating pleas of Team Rocket for their leader to come. They have to keep Giovanni here until somebody else can destroy Rocketproperly. It's probably gonna be Gold's eleven-year-old self. If his memory serves him correct it might be _hours_.

 

This time travel shit hurts Gold’s head.

 

He focuses on the battle, orders a Thunderpunch from Dragonite. The black bird-Pokemon goes down.

 

Gold doesn’t know how many Pokemon Giovanni has. He hopes this one’s his last.

 

The Kangaskhan lands an Outrage and nearly wipes out Dragonite.

 

He orders one back.

 

Dragonite goes down the next hit but his opponent is weakened.

 

Victreebel finishes it.

 

Not a moment too late. He expected worse, honestly.

 

His opponent might not have been as strong as he was thinking but Gold is still heaving out gasping breaths. When Giovanni recalls his Pokemon he doesn’t send out another one. Gold prays this is over.

 

Giovanni has been yelling out things at him the entire battle. Taunts, exclamations, doesn’t matter. Gold wasn’t listening, he never listens during a battle. But it’s over now so this time, he does.

 

Across from him Giovanni is glaring, face scrunched up in an ugly rage. He clenches his fist, and barks out. “What in the world _are_ you?”

 

Gold straightens up and puffs his chest out, holding his head high and carrying the strongest glare he has. Victreebel screeches, vines readying in case Giovanni tries to book it.

 

The radio babbles on.

 

Giovanni grits his teeth, holds both fists in front of himself, looking down. “How this is possible...? The past three years have been a waste...? How can a kid like you manage to destroy my dream once again?”

 

He paces back and forth in the room.

 

Then shuts off the radio.

 

Gold can’t see his face, but he hears the defeat in his tone.

 

“The precious dream of Team Rocket has become little more than an illusion...”

 

A quiet declaration of loss.

 

Gold relaxes, but just a bit.

 

Something about it makes him know they don’t need to hold him hostage there.

 

Did he crush his spirit for good? God he hopes so.

 

When Giovanni makes his exit, Gold juts out his arm to keep Crystal from going after. He glares at the back of Giovanni’s head. He never turns around to see it. From behind him, Gold hears the tiniest, squeaky hiss.

 

There’s a splash and then, nothing.

 

He breathes out a shaky breath, returns Victreebel to his ball, and turns to Crystal.

 

She’s still in shock, maybe, but she looks exhausted and he feels about the same. He hopes neither of them are actually injured.

 

In her arms, Celebi is awake, clinging to her shirt. Despite his frustration with the tiny demon, he spares it a smile, petting its head with a cupped hand.

 

“I don’t know why you wanted us to do this, but I think we would really like to go home now.” Gold tells it in his gentlest voice. Crystal holds her hand up and allows Celebi to take hold of it.

 

It looks between them both with uncertain blue eyes, but seems to understand. It floats up and then-

 

White.

 

But no spinning. It’s like a blanket has been gently draped over his head. Relaxing, almost.

 

Gold doesn’t pass out this time. He’s relieved.

 

* * *

 

_The sky is still colored with oranges and pinks when Gold defeats Archer’s last Pokemon._

_When he descends down the tower, they call him a hero._

_Some women rush to hug him._

_Loud praise and cheer fill his ears almost enough to rupture them._

_Gold watches some Team Rocket grunts be cornered in the room._

_Police outside move to question him but he can’t utter more than a few fragmented words._

_He is so tired._

_So tired._

_He did it, but he lost every bit of energy he had in the process._

_When the police sit Gold down on a bench to deal with the arrests, it takes no more than a minute until he’s asleep._

_He sleeps,_

_and does not dream._

 

* * *

 

He doesn't know how long it takes for the blanket to lift but when they reappear, they’re back in front of the shrine in the Ilex Forest. Gold doesn’t need to check his Pokegear to know they’ve returned to present day.

 

He sighs in relief, patting himself down to clear off the dust and dirt. His ears are ringing but it’s not quite as bad as before.

 

He steers his eyes over to look at Crystal. She’s on the ground still, smiling, letting Celebi bounce about in the air, it holding onto her fingers. He moves closer to them. Extends a hand.

 

Celebi grasps it and cries out a joyous noise. Gold gives its head a few pats.

 

No smile though, too much effort.

 

His eyes wander to the GS ball still sitting in the shrine. Without much of a second thought, he pulls it from the slot, stands up, and stomps on it.

 

Stomps on it until it breaks in two.

 

And then stomps on it some more.

 

Crystal mutters his name to stop, but he doesn’t until he’s sure it’s broken and can never be used, ever, again. He feels Celebi hovering over his shoulder, and looks up at it. It doesn’t speak, but Gold sees the thanks in its eyes.

 

He nods.

 

The creature is there one moment and then the next, gone, in a twinkling glow of light.

 

With no energy left in him, Gold plops his ass back on the ground and exhales. It's hot as hell again. He takes his hat off and begins fanning himself with it.

 

Across from him, Crystal’s got her hands folded in her lap, lips pursed in a tight line. He notices her hair’s still out of the pigtails.

 

It looks even stupider sticking up on its own. He could make fun of it if he felt like it.

 

After a moment, she says something. Apprehensive.

 

“Gold-, we should say something about this. About, the ball, and what we did and-“

 

“No.” He murmurs, staring at the ground in front of them. Crystal frowns, and he speaks before she can interject. “No. Sometimes, I think, it’s better we leave things unsaid.”

 

“But Gold-“ She protests and he interrupts, glaring her down with intensity he didn’t know he still had.

 

“No, because. Listen. Some things _need_ to be left a secret, Crystal. Some things we can’t tell.”

 

She purses her lips again, and he stares her down, his resolution final.

 

It only takes a few awkward seconds for her to give in.

 

With a sigh, she stands.

 

“Well what do we tell everyone then?” She asks, Gold forcing himself to stand now too. He feels heavy. Like his bones are made of iron.

 

“Tell Green the ball got stolen, tell Elm you gave it away, and let whoever else who knows about it believe it was worthless.”

 

“Okay...” She sighs, pulling an elastic band from her bag, tying her hair up into a single ponytail. “Jeez I hate taking orders from you. So what about Celebi?”

 

He raises an eyebrow. “What about it.”

 

“Do we just leave it here?”

 

“It’s home now, so it’s probably smart to yeah.” Gold nods, and hesitates on what he wants to say next. “I think...someone trapped it in there. And if Green found it on Cinnabar where she said she did, then...it probably wasn’t by accident where it took us.”

 

His words are melancholy and linger in the air. He doesn’t know if his theory is correct, but it adds up. Crystal seems to pick up on it, frowning.

 

“He owned the mansion on Cinnabar, didn’t he?” She asks, as if she needs confirmation for it all to slide into place, and when Gold nods she hangs her head down.

 

And then, begins to walk down the path like normal.

 

So, Gold follows.

 

They exit the Ilex Forest, and start heading north.

 

He still doesn’t know what Crys wanted to do here in the first place, but he’s too tired to ask. He doesn’t know why he’s still sticking around anymore, really.

 

But he knows that, when he goes home he’s going to do one of several things.

 

He is going to hug his mom.

 

And hug her tight and for like five minutes.

 

He will thank her with his words this time and not a present for all that she’s done for him and for supporting him because apparently not everyone has been as fortunate as Gold.

 

And then he is going to send another e-mail to Lance asking what his deal is. Over half a year was more than enough time to tell him to shove off, isn’t it?

 

Finally, after he gets that sorted out, and does enough homework for his mom to permit a week off, he’s going to go find Silver.

 

So that's that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You will not believe the headache I gave myself trying to figure out the proper dates. Time travel, I hate it. I'm not gonna reveal too far into ages I'm imagining they were just so I don't accidentally reveal I messed up somewhere lol


	4. Same Difference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t like you.”
> 
> “Are you kidding? You’re totally my favorite person ever. I like, completely love you. With all my heart.” Gold replies with dry sarcasm. Silver cringes, snorting.
> 
> “God, don’t even joke about that.”
> 
> “It’s a funny thought though, ain’t it?”
> 
> “It’s nightmarish.”

As the trees fade from green to orange, to nearly bare, and the blistering heat becomes a pleasant chill to an approaching freeze, Gold’s got a shitlist growing that’s a bit longer than he cares for.

 

October has brought only one good improvement for him in two months: freedom. Blissful, weekend freedom.

 

Which he has been using to scout for his rival who is proudly sitting at the number two spot _(heh)_ on his shitlist.

 

Gold’s honestly forgotten why he wants to see him anyway.

 

When he first set out to find Silver he was feeling a bit sappy and sorry for the poor guy. Blah blah touchy feely nonsense. Watching his rival and his so-called ‘father’ as he abandoned him would make anyone with even a smidge of compassion feel bad for him.

 

But now? Now he’s gonna kick his ass. Whether that's in a battle or literally he isn't sure yet.

 

Gold’s checked town to town, city to city in mainland Johto, asking around gyms and the underground battle rings for any word of a redhead with girl hair and too much black on and the most awful personality. So far, nothing.

 

Other than a few unwanted numbers Gold really needs to delete.

 

...In fact, he might as well do that now.

 

He hangs off his bed halfway, careful not to go too far upside-down, less he get dizzy and fall, and pulls out his Pokegear, going through it number by number.

 

Random people he wanted information from? Delete. The few gym leaders he’s pestered into giving them their number? Acceptable.

 

He could send Bugsy or Whitney something to annoy them. Maybe later.

 

Crys? Tempting to delete. She’s entry number three on his shitlist.

 

Her crime is her presence and it’s worthy for sentencing.

 

Espeon trots up to his bed and chirps at him, then swats his paw at Gold’s hair, mewing for attention. Gold gets a feather toy from the nightstand and waves it around the air to play with his little brat.

 

With his free hand he keeps going through his contact list. Delete, delete, save, delete.

 

On his room’s TV an advertisement comes on for the newest model of Pokegear, issue 2.0 or whatever. It’s got better graphics and a larger storage for contacts and pictures. Gold thinks he’s gonna buy it next time he heads into Goldenrod.

 

Ah.

 

His screen pops up with a message from Crys.

 

_‘I’m coming over. We’re going to Cherrygrove so put on something other than pajamas’_

 

Gold groans, letting out a huff as Espeon jumps onto his chest. God she's so bossy, so needy. He sends a message back.

 

_‘shove it. but fine i guess. why though?’_

 

Almost instantly, a reply.

 

_‘I’m hungry and I know you are too. Also your mom told you to get groceries anyway’_

 

He glares at his phone, as if it matters. _‘why are you talking to my mom’_

_‘She told you that last night when I was over?’_

_‘oh. stop coming over’_

_‘No.’_

_‘bitch’_

He sends and doesn’t stop to think about how maybe he shouldn’t be calling girls who know his mom bad names. Instead he finally gets up to put on actual clothes.

 

If, a dirty hoodie and shorts count as actual clothes. They do for him.

 

There’s a complaining mewl from his bed, making him look over. Espeon’s giving him a dirty look for moving him off. He gives him a few pats as an apology. And almost gets bit in return.

 

Gold hears his Pokegear start buzzing with an incoming call and he rolls his eyes. Does she really have nothing better to do?

 

He grabs it, and his wallet, and his cap, and Ampharos’ Pokeball just in case, then tromps down the stairs. He returns Ampharos to the ball but leaves the others out. They know better than to wreck the house if nobody’s home to stop them.

 

When he opens the front door, sure enough Crystal’s waiting for him. Just for dramatic effect, he rolls his eyes as he pulls on his shoes.

 

“Don’t you have anything better to do?” He asks, repeating his earlier thought.

 

Crystal frowns and crosses her arms. “Like you do?”

 

“Deflect the question. Nice.”

 

“Oh shut up.”

 

He feels her lightly slug his arm and he snorts, pulling his last show on before he heads out and closes the door. She starts walking and naturally Gold follows.

 

A breeze rolls through, making Gold grit his teeth to hold back a shiver and he pockets his hands in his hoodie. Next to him, Crystal smirks.

 

“Dress appropriately and you won’t be cold.” She chides, putting her hands in her own jacket pockets.

 

So irritating. “Mind your business and I won’t shove you into a puddle.” He huffs. She’s still grinning.

 

“Someone’s in a bad mood. Hm...Same thing as usual?” She asks knowingly and Gold hates the familiarity in her voice.

 

But she’s right. Per usual, it’s shitlist entry number one putting him in the worst mood of all:

 

Lance.

 

“Fucker still hasn’t e-mailed me back.” Gold grumbles, scowling down at the ground in front of them as they walk. He gives a rock a particularly hard kick and revels in the smidge of satisfaction he gets watching it fly.

 

When he looks back at Crystal she’s giving him a bit of a glare. He blinks at her, not sure what he did this time.

 

“Do you think you’re cool for cursing all the time? You sound stupid.” She rolls her eyes, sounding annoyingly like his mom.

 

He just blinks at her, answering her with a blunt “I am cool.”

 

He is cool.

 

“You sound like, some dumb kid learning their first cuss you know that right?”

 

“You do know I’m thirteen right. And you’re twelve.”

 

“So?”

 

Gold cannot believe he has to spell it out. “We aren't twenty. So stop acting so grown up. It’s embarrassing.” He tells her, maybe a little too harsh, and then pokes her nose up to make the mood lighter.

 

Crys just swats his hand away and crosses her arms, sulking. It’s kinda funny. Miss adult pouting, who does she think she is?

 

If he was meaner he’d tell her that. But he’s trying not to be so mean.

 

So he lets her give him the silent treatment and whistles a tune off key on purpose to drive her crazy.

 

It works.

 

It takes until they’re out of town for her to slap her hand on his mouth and glare at him. Gold laughs and gently shoves her to the side. She stumbles more than he meant.

 

But she laughs too. And it’s pretty good, hanging out. Crystal is annoying but if he absolutely had to pick a person other than his mom she’s not _totally_ unbearable to be around.

 

And then, after they stop laughing, she’s giving him a face. A face she makes when she’s about to tell him to do something that he, inevitably, is not going to do. He braces himself.

 

“You know, I think I have a solution to your Lance problem.”

 

Here we go. To humor her, Gold asks “And that is?”

 

“Just go to the League and demand to see him.” She says, like it’s so obvious, and he wants to shove her again.

 

She doesn’t get it. Doesn’t get how...nervous he felt sending a first e-mail, let alone a second. How much his stomach hurts just thinking about sending a third, or having to go talk to him face to face.

 

Obviously, Gold has thought about it before. And obviously, he ruled it out as an option.

 

Despite what literally everyone thinks, he doesn’t _actually_ enjoy confrontation.

 

Gold turns his head from Crys, trying to hide his bitter expression. He imagines she’s frowning. He’s been quiet for too long, it’s getting suspicious.

 

Finally, he gives her the best indifferent shrug he can. “I don’t want to see his ugly face.”

 

She looks at him dumbstruck. “What?”

 

“You heard me.” He replies, trying not to sound as stupid as he feels.

 

Gold glances at her. Crystal’s brows are furrowed and her mouth parted, like she’s thinking. Probably of what’s actually wrong, no doubt. Gold hates that.

 

Sure enough.

 

“Are you scared of talking to him alone?”

 

Damn he’s transparent. At least she’s not entirely right.

 

He huffs, blowing a strand of hair out of his eyes. “I’ve talked to him alone before, idiot.”

 

“Well then what is it.”

 

“Don’t you think it’s a bit too cocky to roll up and demand to talk to the guy? Like I’m some kinda celebrity?”

 

Crystal frowns. “You are, sorta. Like, you’re a champion-“

 

“ _Ex_ -champion.” He corrects.

 

“-And you took down Team Rocket-“

 

“Big whoop.”

 

“-And you’re really prominent in the media still-“

 

“According to who?”

 

“-Gold I swear if you interrupt me again.” Crystal tells him all icy with narrowed eyes. It makes Gold grin.

 

She waits to see if he’ll try to talk again, eyes remaining all squinty in a piss poor glare, lips almost in a pout. He plays nice and stays quiet.

 

It’s quiet for a few seconds, her face relaxing, and Crys continues. “As I was saying, you’re important enough that yes, I feel you could just barge in and ask for him without too much of a fuss, y’know? Or at least schedule an appointment.”

 

“Eh.”

 

“Do you want something to get done or not?”

 

Well she’s got him there. Gold sighs, staring ahead of him.

 

It’s hard. And okay fine, maybe it is a little scary. He doesn’t want to admit it.

 

His response goes unsaid. He’s sure Crystal is again trying to think of a solution. He wishes she’d just drop it.

 

“Would it help if I came with you to do it?” She asks finally, and it makes Gold slow his walking to think about it.

 

The initial answer he comes up with is no, shut up Crys, mind your own business.

 

But...

 

Maybe it _would_ help. Even if Crystal is a nobody it is always easier for him to do things with someone rather than trying to do it alone, and it's either her or his mom if somebody's gonna come...

 

“Fine. I guess.” Gold tells her, not wanting to think too hard about it. He looks over at her.

 

She seems pleased with herself.

 

“Perfect. Let’s go Saturday, yeah?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“And then as repayment you can help me with something too.”

 

“I’m not fucking around with no more legendaries.” Gold says sourly. He still has nightmares about it that are so awful and real-feeling he wakes up disoriented and rushing to a bathroom to puke.

 

A glare. “I’ll tell your mom if you don’t stop swearing.”

 

“I’ll leave you stranded on Mt. Silver if you try.”

 

“Your threats are meaningless.” The glare holds, and then, she smiles.

 

Gold doesn’t because he looks cooler when he doesn’t but he enjoys the pleasant feeling in his gut.

 

Maybe familiarity isn’t too awful.

 

After they get to Cherrygrove half an hour later they stop by a Pokemart and get some sodas and pork buns. They sit on a curb outside where Crystal prattles on about her studies and Pokemon, and Gold gripes about his homework and Lance and Silver and everybody else getting on his nerves.

 

They each pretend to listen to each other.

 

It’s okay. He supposes.

 

* * *

 

 

_The worst thing Gold would say he’s ever done is one time when he was 9, he pushed one of the neighbor kids off of the monkey bars at school._

_He can’t remember why he did it. He was a brat back then, that's all._

_She ended up crying like it was the end of the world and everybody was dead._

_And Gold’s mom was **not** happy, to say the least._

_The girl only had a sprained wrist. It was totally not as big of a deal as everybody made it out to be._

_Gold had his reasons. Even if he couldn’t remember them._

_..._

_She still jokes about it every now and then._

_Mostly about how he ‘broke both of her arms’ and how she had to ‘learn to open doors with her feet’._

_Crystal has never been the funny type._

_But Gold lets her hold that against him, among other things. He kinda deserves it, for what he did._

_Every time she starts getting on his nerves though, he’s definitely tempted to reenact their childhood._

_Especially since Crystal’s voice has only gotten more annoying and her hairdo more stupid._

_Totally has it coming._

_..._

_That was a joke. Gold’s not that much of a sociopath. He hopes, dear god._

_Really if she ever gets too annoying, he’ll just lick his finger and stick it in her ear. It’s way funnier. Even if he gets his arm slapped for it each time._

 

* * *

 

 

“Hi. Is there any way we can get in to talk with Lance? Today, if you can?”

 

Gold lingers behind Crystal with his hands in his pockets and a bored look on his face. She’s using her sweet, charming voice she always uses to woo adults into liking her on the League’s reception lady. Usually it’s annoying, but for once it’s working in his favor.

 

The woman at the gate gives her a pleasant smile and a curious look. “Are you two challengers?”

 

Crystal laughs, all cute and light. Gold restrains himself from rolling his eyes. “No-, well, I’m not. But he’s already been champion before. He just needs to pop in and talk to Lance real quick that’s all.”

 

Gold watches the dots connect and realization cross the woman’s face. “Are you Gold? That boy who took down Team Rocket a few years back?”

 

“That’s me, yes, ma’am.” Gold adds in awkwardly, trying not to feel embarrassed. He definitely stands a bit stiffer.

 

It’s weird people just, know him like that.

 

The woman nods, gratitude in her smile. “Well you two can go take a seat, I’ll page him for you both. Though I don’t believe he’s in right now, I’ll at least leave a message.”

 

“Eh? Seriously?” Gold asks, dumbfounded, and winces when an elbow jabs his side. Crystal shoots him a glare and he gives her one right back.

 

“You two are precious. Ah, I understand your frustration though, he’s a hard man to get ahold of.” The lady sighs and picks up her phone, clicking away at her computer. Crystal’s face turns beet red at the woman’s initial comment, and his own cheek feel uncomfortably warm.

 

Gross. He makes sure to walk as far away from Crys as possible and sit on the complete other side of the lobby’s couch.

 

His eyes betray him and glance over at her as they sit down. Adults are...weird. He doesn't get what they see.

 

Gold likes girls. He knows that, he’s far over his cooties phase from when he was a little kid. He just...doesn’t like her. And she doesn’t like him. It’s never been anything that’s bothered him. Not until someone brings it up.

 

God, adults are weird.

 

After a few minutes, the woman calls him back over. She tells him that Lance won’t be back for several days, but she’ll schedule him an appointment for next Saturday so they can talk.

 

And even then her comment before about him and Crystal was straight up _insulting_ he thanks her for her efforts anyway. Leaves his number behind too.

 

Then him and Crystal leave and head home. It’s kinda a victory, in a sense. Even if he owes a favor now, t’s more progress than Gold made on his own. So...he’ll take it.

 

* * *

 

 

_The last year before he goes on his journey, Gold’s entire class has to fill out a questionnaire._

_It’s to get them thinking about future jobs they want to do or whatever. Gold didn’t care._

_Supposed to just be for fun, anyway._

_Doesn’t mean he was happy with the result._

_The lucky kids got jobs related to Pokemon. Actually, a lot of kids got jobs doing that._

_Some got nurses, or managers, or teachers. All good things._

_Gold got office worker._

_Which, according to his teacher and his mom, was a perfectly good and necessary job. As a kid, Gold would’ve rather died than have to sit in a closed space doing boring paperwork all day. He did enough of that at school._

_He wasn’t stupid back then, at least, when it came to common sense._

_He got office worker because he wasn’t talented. Wasn’t smart. Had no ambition or skill._

_..._

_Until he became a trainer._

_A lot of people called him a prodigy. Gold was happy enough to find something he liked to do that he was also good at._

_He’s solidified he’s going to be a top-class trainer. Already is one now, technically. And he'll a gym leader one day, too._

_Even if his mom wishes he’d be more realistic sometimes. She'll come around one day._

_Gold will not fade into normality and irrelevance._

_He refuses._

 

* * *

 

 

When he goes to the League next time for the appointment, Gold doesn’t bring Crystal along.

 

Because as much as he really doesn’t want to do this face to face, the hard part’s sorta out of the way and he doesn’t need his hand held through everything damn it.

 

Gold strolls in a few minutes after he was supposed to show up because he’s not a freak who arrives right on the dot. Lance is, apparently. He’s standing just inside the reception hall, waiting for him.

 

A twist in his stomach. Gold feels sick. He doesn’t exactly know what this feeling is. Nervousness, he guesses.

 

Everything he was going to say goes right out of his mind.

 

He clenches his fists in his hoodie’s pockets and swallows hard. Lance raises an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to speak up. But he can’t. His throat is so dry and he can’t think straight and yeah, this was a mistake just-

 

“Come on. Let’s talk.” Lance stops his train of thought and begins to walk out of the League, heading down the steps outside. Gold blissfully takes the escape and follows after him, trying to compose himself.

 

It takes a while. Many, many steps before he can calm himself enough to think. For his shortcomings, Lance is at least decent enough to give him the silence.

 

Finally, Gold clears his throat. “So uh...been a while since I seen you man.”

 

“It has.” Lance nods, curt and formal. Approachable, though. Gold continues.

 

“Uh, so about a year ago I sent you an e-mail. And I kinda been waiting for a response so...I guess it was time to just talk to you in person so, yeah, here I am.” Gold babbles on nervously, hating himself for being so uncomposed in front of the man.

 

Lance gives him a strange look, Gold can’t read it. “I see. I must apologize for that, then. My public e-mail is managed by an assistant of mine and even then neither of us check it often.” He explains, still so polite and tight-sounding.

 

Gold’s mouth opens in shock. He feels normal again when he asks “Wh-, so then why have it!”

 

“Formality and requirements.” Lance replies, bemused as ever, but Gold thinks he catches a glint of amusement in his eyes at his outburst. The nervousness melts away, a little.

 

“Ridiculous. It’s not like you’re easy to track down y’know.” Gold crosses his arms, rolling his eyes.

 

Lance gives a deep chuckle. “I will work on that then. Nevertheless I hope I can make it up to you now. So, what did you need to contact me for then? I’m hoping it wasn’t too time sensitive.”

 

Wordy. Gold doesn’t get why so many important figures drawl on like this.

 

He fixes his cap, and flips a chunk of hair out per usual. Shifts it into place. “Well, so as I was going around Kanto it got me thinking about some things.”

 

“Congratulations on earning your badges, by the way.” Lance offers politely. Gold snorts.

 

“Thanks. Anyway, champion requirement age is fourteen, yeah?”

 

“It is.” Lance nods, looking as though he’s bracing himself for a tantrum from Gold. Gold doesn’t appreciate that one bit.

 

“Well I’m still not old enough but even then I’m not going for that. Not now, at least.” Lance relaxes some, and Gold continues. “I think I want to be gym leader though. No age requirements for that, yeah? Bugsy was probably 12 when I challenged him and Blue couldn’t be too much older.”

 

Good, he remembered his evidence. He thought hard about what he’d use to prove his point. Lance looks like he’s thinking, arms crossing. Gold waits as patiently as he possibly can for an answer.

 

“There’s a lot more that goes into leadership than simply battling and handing out badges-“ Lance starts and Gold deflates. God, here we go. “-it’s full of responsibility and work for not only a gym but the entire town. You’d have to be prepared to look after all that. As well as that, you need to prepare younger trainers for their own journeys, helping them get their first Pokemon, their trainer’s license, any education they might night. It’s a great deal of work-“

 

Gold starts to zone out. It’s so hard to pay attention as he just keeps babbling on about _nothing_. This feels like such a letdown.

 

“-Not to mention, there’s a whole application process to go through, and a waiting list through seniority. It might be years before a gym leader may retire. At the moment the Indigo League’s lineup on both sections are the most stable it’s been for many years.”

 

Figures. He feels himself deflating and Gold tries to think of a response. There’s so much to respond to. Lance, you asshole.

 

“Okay so first off, I can handle responsibility. I can help people, _obviously_ dude come on now. Don’t doubt me. I’m good with kids too.” Gold starts, lying through his teeth. Lance frowns at him, but stays quiet.

 

“Second, I'm not exactly hearing a no. You’re just saying I gotta wait for an opening.”

 

“That is what I’m saying, correct.” Lance replies politely, nodding. A bit of relief flows through Gold.

 

“So like, say if someone wants to retire, you’ll at least consider me? Give me a call? Won’t make me track you down and wait a year?” Gold asks, throwing in the jab because he’s might be a lil bitter about it all.

 

Lance gives a small, apologetic smile. “Yes, to your credit your history has shown your responsibility and dedication. I trust you enough to handle the role. I’ll keep you in mind.” He promises, and hey it’s good enough for Gold. He didn’t really expect to just be handed a gym anyway.

 

“Okay cool, I only really wanted a definitive answer.”

 

“Well, there you are. I hope this was worth the wait, then.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. Can I get your Pokegear number now? So I can just contact you directly or whatever.”

 

“I suppose.” Lance sighs, pulling out a sleek...phone, thing, that definitely isn’t a Pokegear. Gold feels a bit embarrassed pulling out his own clunky thing. Do adults not use them?

 

They trade devices, and as they input each other’s contact information, Gold is treated to a bit of a surprise with what Lance says.

 

“For the record, just because we do allow younger gym leaders, it doesn’t mean it’s always the...best, option.” Lance says suddenly and immediately looks like he regrets it. There’s something implicit about his tone and Gold gets a shit eating grin on his face.

 

“Oh my god, is there gym leader gossip I’m not hearing about? Who sucks at their job.”

 

“Never mind, it’s not my place to speak to you on such personal League matters.”

 

“Aww come on man! I won’t tell!”

 

“I believe you. Good day, Gold.”

 

“Is it Bugsy? Whitney? Falkner? Misty? Brock? Blue?”

 

Lance calls out his Dragonite. Gold grins harder and keeps talking.

 

“It’s totally Blue isn’t it? I’m gonna bug everyone unless you tell me so save me the trouble.”

 

“ _Good day_ , Gold.”

 

And Lance is off. Gold groans in exasperation as he watches him go, but he does feel a bit better coming out of this conversation than he did coming in. Kudos to Crys. Cross two names off his list.

 

* * *

 

 

_Literally the next day after Gold’s visit with Lance he’s getting flooded with messages._

_All from Whitney. Figures._

_She’s pretty excited about him trying to be gym leader someday, for some reason._

_She never liked him when they first met, but now for some reason she’s cool with him. Gold isn’t going to complain, she’s got the best gossip._

_He still has no idea how she found out so fast, but whatever. Girl's got her reasons._

_For some reason, she shares all the Johto gym leaders’ numbers with him. He doesn’t really need them for anything other than pestering them for rematches, but it’s alright._

_Before he only had Falkner, Bugsy, and her, of course. Blue too but he's Kanto. More variety now though._

_But he likes the feeling of being included. And some of them turn out to be a lot cooler than Gold thought. Even if they are adults._

_Gold likes being included. He’s never been a people person, but it's seeming like he might turn into one._

_Maybe it was just the wrong people before?_

 

* * *

 

 

If Gold could have it his way, he’d make sure that it’d be summer all year long and he could bask in three sun all he'd want and never have to step foot in a single inch of snow. But of course, he never gets what he wants.

 

He walks through the streets of Blackthorn city one freezing morning in early December. His breath is shaky and he watches a puff of white come from his mouth every time he exhales.

 

Briefly he’ll pull his hands out of his coat pockets to rub them together, then shove them back in. Should’ve brought gloves.

 

Looking around the city he realizes he kinda, has no idea where he’s going. Or what he’s doing here.

 

He wanted Surf deleted off Dragonite’s moveset but _honestly_ , could’ve waited. Idiot. God it's so cold up north.

 

It could be worse, he supposes. It’s not snowing and the wind is blowing towards the Ice Path instead of from it, a small mercy. Blackthorn is a cool place to check out too, even if Gold doesn’t have much of anything to do here.

 

Not a lot of people are out, unfortunately. He feels lonely as he walks the streets towards the Pokemon Center.

 

And then, while he’s looking around, he spots something. A familiar head of long red hair and a black coat.

 

Like that, his mind snaps.

 

Gold runs forward, nearly stepping on a patch of ice in his carelessness, but he doesn’t care. He narrows his eyes at his target and when he’s close enough, shoves a clothed arm to the side as much as he can.

 

Then gracelessly slips on another slab of ice and hits his back on the ground with a choked yelp.

 

His vision becomes filled with black spots and he wheezes, laying on the ground with his limbs sprawled out. His body feels both numb and filled with pain at the same time.

 

God, he's an idiot.

 

Above him, Silver is leaning over him with a mix of bewilderment and disapproval on his face. Gold manages out a strained, “Hi, loser.”

 

“What the hell was that about?!”

 

“Shut up.”

 

Gold coughs and forces his arms to push him up until he’s sitting. It's easier said than done.

 

His ass hurts like crazy. He’s going to regret this when he has to walk back.

 

Silver still has the nerve to look confused, and spite fuels Gold to get to his feet and give Silver’s arm another shove, lighter this time. It earns him a glare and a shove back.

 

“Tch! You got a problem or something?” Silver sneers at him, crossing his arms.

 

He gives the redhead a dirty look. “Yeah! I’ve been looking for you! Seriously the one time I need you and you aren’t up my ass constantly.” Gold spits out, brushing snow off his backside. The nasty expression on Silver’s face drops to one of confusion, before the glare returns.

 

“Eh? What did you need me for then? To watch you publicly embarrass yourself like that?” He laughs. Gold’s face feels a bit warmer.

 

“Shut up, that wasn’t planned.”

 

“As if I care. What do you want, Gold.”

 

Well, he doesn’t really know, actually. Staring at Silver’s face Gold’s reminded of what he saw, of the tearful child from before, and against his will his heart clenches.

 

This is bad. Gold never wanted to see his rival in such light but now his anger is melting away to pity and worry. He cannot stand it. Silver doesn’t deserve to be looked at like an actual person.

 

...Okay, harsh train of thought there. Gold curls up his lip to a sneer and steps back, holding up Typhlosion’s ball.

 

Silver smirks and pulls out a Pokeball of his own. “Good. I was hoping to challenge you again.”

 

They step back, Gold careful not to slip on ice again, before calling out their Pokemon. And it starts.

 

Battling in streets is always fun for Gold. He likes the added challenge of having to avoid property damage and the bonus of a crowd forming around them to watch. He feels in his element, ordering his team forward.

 

He hasn’t been battling much since he came home, so his strategies aren’t much different from the last time they battled. His rival seems to notice this too.

 

Which makes it so much more pleasing when Gold wins nonetheless, despite Silver trying to switch up his own methods.

 

A grimace crosses Silver’s face as he’s down to his last Pokemon, and he grits his teeth when it falls. Gold feels smug satisfaction deep in his core, recalling Dragonite to her ball. He adjust his cap, loving the eyes of the crowd on him.

 

But after the battle ends they quickly dissipate to continue what they were doing. Gold strolls up to Silver, confident as ever, even as he slides a bit on the ice and panic flares up inside him before he catches himself.

 

Silver doesn’t even have the nerve to look amused, rude. He’s frowning, arms crossed, forehand creased. Gold raises an eyebrow at him, but doesn’t say anything.

 

A sigh. “Humph. I took my time coming all the way here to see the Dragon Den’s Master, but he won’t tell me anything. He’s making a big deal out of his.” Silver explains, sounding more similar to complaining honestly.

 

Gold just shrugs. “Really? He never gave me any trouble the first time I came here.”

 

“Are you making fun of me?” Silver scoffs.

 

“You’d know if I was.”

 

“Fair.”

 

“...”

 

An awkward silence. Gold really doesn’t know what to say now, usually Silver’s stormed off by now. He looks at a loss, too.

 

Gold clears his throat a bit. “So...why do you want to see the Master, then?”

 

“Why else? To get stronger.”

 

“Well you’re going about it the wrong way.”

 

“What do you know.” Silver says, venom in his voice.

 

 _More about you than I care to_ , Gold thinks. “More than you, clearly.” He says instead.

 

“Don’t mock me.”

 

“Hey you caught on!” He grins. Silver keeps scowling.

 

Then he sighs again, flipping his hair. “I started training here instead. Bit too cold for me to go to the Ice Path, so I’ve been in the Dragon’s Den.”

 

“Good to know.”

 

“I guess.”

 

Gold scratches the back of his head, thinking. He does miss battling Silver so often, and if he’s gonna be hanging around Blackthorn for a while, well that’s close enough to come to on the weekends...

 

He doesn’t think too hard on it when he asks, “Do you have a Pokegear?”

 

“Eh?” Silver looks at him confused.

 

“One of these?” Gold pulls out his own Pokegear, waving it a bit like it should be obvious what he means. Silver just shrugs.

 

“No. Why would I waste money on something so useless?”

 

“It’s not useless! It’s got a map and a phone and a radio, it’s super important.” He doesn’t know why he’s getting so defensive about it, jeez.

 

Silver shrugs again. “Who the hell do I have I want to talk to?”

 

“Me, duh.”

 

“I don’t like you.”

 

“Are you kidding? You’re totally my favorite person ever. I like, completely love you. With all my heart.” Gold replies with dry sarcasm. Silver cringes, snorting.

 

“God, don’t even joke about that.”

 

“It’s a funny thought though, ain’t it?”

 

“It’s nightmarish.”

 

Gold just grins, even if Silver’s still looking nasty as ever. He likes getting under his rival’s skin.

 

“Well, whatever. Don’t go anywhere, I might drop by again, in case I ever need a good and easy victory.”

 

“Don’t get so cocky. I _will_ beat you.” Silver practically hisses out. Gold doesn’t stop grinning.

 

“We’ll see.”

 

* * *

 

 

_In the icy cold winter Gold finds himself standing outside the Goldenrod Department Store._

_Alone._

_For hours._

_Waiting in line._

_Why the new Pokegear model had to debut in mid-December, he has no clue. It was a terrible idea though._

_And yet, here he is, freezing his ass off waiting to get in and buy it._

_Finally by noon, he’s able to get in, and he quickly grabs the first box he can get ahold of._

_A blue model, with white and gold accents. Good enough._

_When he checks out, he realizes the price is nearly double what he expected._

_False advertising, what a scam._

_It’s not until Gold’s home does he realize he bought a double pack._

_A total waste of money._

_Damn._

_..._

_In the end, he gives the second one away._

_To Crystal, of all people._

_But it was her birthday, and it was almost Christmas too. He’s never done anything for her for either before but he looks good in front of his mom this time._

_After Crystal asks why he’s suddenly so nice, Gold just shrugs. Replies that he’s always been a nice guy._

_Because he has been._

_..._

_Right?_

 

* * *

 

 

Snow begins melting early that year, even if it’s still chilly enough out for a coat. Gold will take it, though. It’s better than nothing.

 

The winter, like the year before, has proved mostly uneventful. The only anomalies this time were a Christmas card and fudge from Whitney, Crystal’s presence in general, and the few weekends he’d head up north to go battle Silver.

 

And of course, the thing that stayed most consistent was his schoolwork. Which Gold _hates_ more than he hates the cold winter and the freezing snow and everything else in the world combined.

 

But.

 

By February, nearly March, he is blissfully only a year behind. Which is enough for him to roam freely now.

 

His mom has been encouraging him to continue his schooling, finish up and drop out, get it over with already. Gold thinks that she just missed having him around so often.

 

When March comes, and he’s finally together enough to leave home, he hugs her tight and smiles and promises he’ll come home more often than before. His mom doesn’t seem convinced, and he knows she’s close to hugging him so tight he can never leave, but he really means it. He’s better at keeping his word, now.

 

He’s run across a new issue now, though.

 

Gold has no idea what to do now.

 

He’s been all around both regions, and collected every badge he could. The best he can do now is go re-battle some of the gym leaders he hasn’t yet.

 

That doesn’t take long, though. So he heads to Olivine and checks out the new Battle Tower facility to the west of it. It’s fun, for a bit. Gold thinks it’ll get replaced soon. That area of land is in high demand, attractions rotate in and out of it often.

 

After that though, he doesn’t have much of an idea left.

 

He wants to go up Mt. Silver again, but after a call to Oak it seems it’s piled high with winter’s snow. Which is a shame, because Gold really, really wants to see Red again. He wonders how the guy’s been fairing up there.

 

Probably good enough.

 

Gold becomes aimless. He hangs out in Goldenrod with Whitney and her friends for a while. A girl there has really taken an interest to Gold. He’s flattered.

 

And then he goes and talks to Bugsy for a bit. Listens to him rave about having seen Celebi for a brief second out in the Ilex Forest. Gold keeps his own Celebi story to himself, and before he heads onwards he leaves his usual offering at the shrine for the creature.

 

He tries to talk with Falkner, but Gold thinks he’s a bit too old for him to really get along with, so it’s a no-go.

 

Desperately, he thinks about going to Kanto to pester Blue but that might be a little _too_ needy.

 

Then one day in April, right as Gold’s about to give up and go home again, he gets a message from Crys. She stayed home, but they’ve kept in brief contact with each other, so it’s nothing out of the ordinary.

 

That is, until he reads it.

 

_‘Hey Gold. Favor time, buddy. Meet me tomorrow in Goldenrod at noon, in front of the Department Store. Okay?’_

It’s a bit cryptic. Gold doesn’t even remember what he owed her for.

 

He sends back a plain ‘ _okay_ ’ and decides to see it out. He’s been in Goldenrod this entire time, battling in the tunnels and talking to that girl from Whitney’s gym, so it’s not like he’s gotta travel.

 

He almost wishes he did. But at least Goldenrod’s his favorite city, could be a worse place to stay for another night.

 

The next day, he does as he’s told, waiting on a bench outside the store, smacking on a piece of gum obnoxiously. Espeon roams next to him swatting at and hunting for bugs around him.

 

Gold wonders why she didn’t just have him wait at the station for her.

 

But nearly on time (like a freak) Crystal shows up , perky as ever, her Misdreavus floating behind her. For once Crystal has her dorky pigtails tied into a single ponytail. Gold thinks she looks less stupid that way.

 

He tells her that. She swats his shoulder. Tells him, “Nobody asks for your opinion, Gold.”

 

He replies, “Good thing I'm so generous then.” She rolls her eyes.

 

They don’t say much to each other after that, just head south to pick up some lunch to-go. They eat as they walk, sharing with their Pokemon of course.

 

They're nearing the city’s end soon enough, and Crystal is still uncharacteristically silent. Gold keeps shooting her glances and odd looks. She doesn’t seem like she's in a bad mood, so he has no idea what’s up.

 

At the south exit, they throw away their trash, and Crystal keeps on going. Espeon is happily bouncing around Misdreavus, trying to grab her with his little paws, yowling whenever she floats away from him and giggles at his effects.

 

Gold watches them. Shoves his hands into his hoodie pockets. Looks around at Route 34.

 

Winter may be trash, but spring is a lot better. It’s a season Gold can get behind.

 

He starts to whistle, filling the silence between the two. Crys hums along a little. _This isn't a duet_ , he wants to say but doesn't.

 

And finally, after all this time, she speaks up.

 

“So, you know how I was helping Professor Elm?”

 

“Sorta.” He starts. “Is this about the thing you guys’ wouldn’t tell me?”

 

He looks over at her and she nods. “Yeah. It’s a lot to explain but the short story is him and Professor Oak are collaborating on a project. Um, well I guess it boils down to breeding starter Pokemon instead of catching them wild.”

 

Huh. Gold gives her a funny look. “You can catch starters?”

 

Another nod. “Yeah but they’re rare, and it’s really ineffective. And they can be hostile and rowdy and unpredictable, making it unreliable and not good for new trainers.” Crystal explains. It’s news to Gold, for sure.

 

“My Cyndaquil was fine though. And your Chikorita was a bit bratty but she wasn’t a handful right?” He asks, still not getting there was an issue.

 

Crystal laughs. “Well, yeah. But they were specially picked, there’s usually a few that have to be released because they’re just not fit to be kept. So we’re working on a solution.”

 

“We?”

 

“Me and the Professors.”

 

Gold doesn’t try to hide his confusion. “What? Why bother trying to help them.”

 

Crystal stops walking, so he does too. She crosses her arms, not hiding her exasperation either. “I’m going to be a professor too one day. And they're the most renowned out there. This is my jumpstart.” She says like it’s obvious, sounding so serious about it.

 

Which is ridiculous, she’s never told Gold about it. How was he supposed to know?

 

It makes...sense though. Crystal set out to be a trainer a bit after Gold did, but he knows she stopped somewhere after four badges. He thinks she’d make an alright professor. She’s smart enough. She's good with Pokemon. Maybe people too. Clearly dedicated. Gold doesn’t know what more goes into it.

 

So he gives her a shrug and starts to walk with her again. “Okay, fine. Good for you brainiac, whatever. Where do I come into this then?”

 

“Well that’s the thing, the project has already started.”

 

“Eh?”

 

Crystal smiles, swinging the strap on her Pokegear around. “Yeah. Last summer, remember? Right after the mess with the GS ball, we set everything up.”

 

“Oh. And? I seriously don’t get why I’m important to this.” Gold says, a bit on edge. Why she’s taking so long to just tell him, he doesn’t know.

 

Oh.

 

For dramatic effect apparently.

 

They’re right at what he thinks is the Daycare Center, maybe. Gold gives the building a weird look, then sees a good few fully evolved Johto and Kanto starters out in the gated fields and it starts to click.

 

Crystal claps her hands together, grinning wide and excited. “You’re helping me hatch the eggs.”

 

Well.

 

He has something to do now. Gold’s just not so sure he actually wants to be a part of this mess.

 

This is what he gets for hanging out with people.

 


	5. Honest Gossip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I-“ Lance starts, or tries to.
> 
> “Never mind! I’ve had plenty of time to prepare myself. Get ready to lose.” Silver sneers, posing unnecessarily. Feraligatr steps forward and snaps its jaws menacingly.
> 
> “Calm down.” Lance says coolly, expression showing his clear displeasure at being interrupted before. “I’ve been quite busy since then. Sorry for that.”
> 
> Gold’s feeling better now but he is utterly tuning these two out. Clair looks like she’s doing the same. They share a look. An ‘I don’t really want to be here right now’ look.

_Gold has learned a few things about himself since keeping so many numbers on his contact list._

_The most notable thing is that he likes to send messages to people that make no sense to anyone but him._

_Some think it’s charming or funny. Like Whitney and his mom._

_Some think it’s weird, but laugh it off. Like Bugsy and Crys._

_The ones that judge him. Blue and Falkner._

_And then there are the ones who don’t know what to make of it._

_One time he sends a text to Lance of his red Gyarados back at the Lake of Rage, surrounded by old friends. It’s the first message he’s sent to the man._

_Lance is confused, but says he’s pleased Gold’s Gyarados suffered no long-term trauma from the Rocket incident._

_Whatever. Gold thought he would appreciate the message. Jeez._

_And then there's one of the times he sends Blue something at 9 am._

_The conversation goes something like:_

_‘hey, do you know what kinda things red likes?’_

_‘?’_

_‘well?’_

_‘How would I know?’_

_‘you grew up with him didnt you’_

_‘Yeah. We didn’t exactly get along’_

_‘well then who would know’_

_‘IDK. His mom, maybe?’_

****

_So Gold gets Red’s mom’s address and flies all the way out to Kanto to talk to her._

_She is surprised,  obviously, and a bit weirded out. But he’s done weirder._

_Like. He barges into houses and talks to people all the time. This is normal for him._

_Gold finds out what he needs to know, at least._

_Red’s mom is nice, too. He thinks she’d get along with his own mom._

_Still, it’s a weird thing he did._

 

* * *

 

 

Elm and Crys tell him they don’t plan on starting the hatching process until May. Gold tried to listen to them give their full rundown of the operation, but he got lost somewhere along the lines of “egg moves” so he’s just gonna put his faith in their process and hope it works. It was sorta going over his head anyways. 

 

But it does mean for the rest of April it’s up to Gold to decide whatever he wants to do with his time.

 

Which is fine. He’s got something in mind.

 

This time before he goes, he does tell his mom goodbye face to face. And sure, she’s not happy about it, but when is she ever happy with the reckless things he does?

 

He stops by Viridian before going up. Sure it wastes some time, but it’s been a while since he’s hung out with Blue.

 

What sucks though is Blue doesn’t have much time for him at all. He seems busy, stressed about something. Gold doesn’t wanna be too big of a bother so he only stops by for a day and stocks up on supplies in town before he heads back to the League.

 

And then, of course, to Mt. Silver.

 

Things go much more smoothly this time. Last time he went up, he was definitely pushing his luck going up so close to winter. But spring on the mountain proves far more merciful.

 

Not as hard to climb, not as cold. He doesn’t even wear his coat most of the way up. The wild Pokemon are much sparser too. Gold figures they must be looking after their young or something. He takes caution to avoid stepping into any territory.

 

It only takes him four days to reach the top this time around. Gold’s pretty pleased with that. It’s not snowing as he exits the cave system to the summit of the mountain, much to his relief.

 

He stretches out his arms with a small noise. Behind him, Ampharos is shuffling around the snow still covering the peak.

 

Gold imagines that this far up it probably never melts. Man, life would suck up here.

 

After popping his back he looks around. With the capture card on his new Pokegear’s improved graphics, he feels much more confident snapping a few pictures of the surrounding mountain view. It’s pretty in a different way than it was before. Less chilling, more peaceful.

 

With his back turned to the very tip top of the peak, Gold already knows what’s gonna happen when he turns around. And sure enough.

 

There he is.

 

Red.

 

...

 

Actually, it’s not this silent this time around. Maybe because it’s sunnier? Or because Gold’s calmer? Neither of those reasons really make sense.

 

In the year in a half since Gold’s seen Red, he’s gotten taller, he thinks. And he’s sporting some pretty noticeable facial hair. Totally rugged. It makes Gold grin because the dude looks ridiculous with it. Someone ought to bring him a razor, jeez.

 

Red tilts his lowered head up just a little to watch Gold. He’s probably waiting for him to order forward Ampharos. Or at least, state what he’s doing here.

 

So he takes a few steps towards him, waving. “Hey!” He calls out, trying to sound cheerful. “It’s been a while, yeah?”

 

No response. Red’s Pikachu bristles next to him, sparks cracking from its cheeks. Gold stops walking.

 

“Hey now, we can battle in a bit, but I wanna talk first okay?” Gold tells him, holding his hands up some in front of himself.

 

Red looks bored, and then just...turns around and starts walking away.

 

...Rude.

 

At first, all Gold can do is stand there, dumbfounded. Then he remembers that the guy has the habit of disappearing if he gets too far out of someone’s sight, so quickly Gold runs to catch up with him, his Ampharos stumbling along after.

 

“Dude, not cool! Hear me out, c’mon.” He whines, matching Red’s pace a few feet behind him. Pikachu’s climbed onto Red’s shoulder now, and it gives Gold a dirty look. Its owner still won’t look at him.

 

It makes Gold scowl a bit. “Hey. Look okay I brought you some stuff, alright? So at least hear me out. Your mom said you’d like it.” He says, trying very hard to get his attention.

 

Whatever he says works. It makes Red stop and whip around to face him.

 

Gold really can’t read his expression, but if he had to guess he’d probably be thinking ‘Why the hell did you talk to my mom’. Gold knows the feeling all too well.

 

“Yeah I know, sorry man. It freaks me out when people talk to my mom too. Just, look.” He tells him and kneels down, pulling his backpack off and rifling through it. As nicely as he can he sets down some things Red’s mom had asked for him to bring up: underwear, shirts, a pair of pants, soap, and a few envelopes Gold didn’t feel comfortable looking in.

 

And then he stacks some things he himself brought: snacks Red’s mom said he liked, sweets for Pokemon, healing items in case of a pinch.

 

All the while he does this, Red looks on utterly baffled. His Pikachu shares a similar expression. Gold laughs at the likeness of the two.

 

He zips back up his backpack. “Yeah, I know. Little weird I bring you all this since we only met once. But you ain’t got nothing up here. I figured it would help.” He explains.

 

Red shuffles back and forth a bit, looking anxious. Gold waves him off. “Yeah uh, don’t worry about it. We cool now?”

 

A nod, though a confused one. Gold stands up. “Good. So anyway uh. Yeah I guess I’ll do the talking. Man this is weird. I never talk this much.”

 

It is weird. Red blinks at him, not seeming to get it. Or care.

 

“Anyway uh. Hi Red, I don’t know if you remember but my name’s Gold. I’m from Johto. I was a champion and I took down Team Rocket a few years back so we kinda have a lot in common.” Gold laughs, almost nervous.

 

Red blinks at him again. No change in his expression. He doesn’t look bored, at least.

 

Maybe. He can’t really tell. Did the guy always act like this?

 

Gold rubs the back of his head. “Well, what else...I guess I’ve heard a lot about you. Sorta. Oak talks about you a lot.” Red’s eyes lighten just a bit. Gold continues. “And I talked to your mom of course, she’s real sweet. Oh! I know your rival too. Blue’s a gym leader now, did you know?”

 

He tests the water. Red gets an odd look to him.

 

“Your mom says Blue goes up a lot. Or at least, more often than anybody else. I had no clue. He doesn’t really mention it.” Gold snorts, fiddling with his cap.

 

Red’s expression gets even weirder. Harder to read. Is he confused? Upset? Annoyed? Gold has no idea.

 

“Uhh...” Gold scratches his cheek. This is hard. He’s gonna resort to what he usually does now when he’s out of things to say.

 

“Do you have a Pokegear or phone or anything? Or, do you not get signal. I don’t get signal...” He says dumbly, realizing his mistake. Damn, stupid thing to ask.

 

Much to his surprise though, Red nods, expression blank. Gold has no idea how that works.

 

“Huh. That’s good I guess. Do you talk to anyone?” He asks. Red waves his hand side to side, a kind of ‘sorta’ motion.

 

“Your mom?” Gold asks. Red nods. “Oak?” A nod. “Blue?” A nod, but with the odd look again.

 

Gold seriously wishes he knew what that meant.

 

He manages to pester Red into giving him his number, though Red doesn’t seem very happy about it. Gold promises to not bug him constantly, even if it’s probably an empty lie.

 

But he’s out of things to talk about. So they battle.

 

And it comes close, but Gold loses. Not too badly, but still.

 

So he watches Red picks up the things Gold left him and stumble off. Gold thinks he sees some kinda cave thing. Must be where he lives.

 

He doesn’t stick around though. Just tells Red goodbye and heads back. Heals up his Pokemon.

 

Then starts heading back down.

 

Which is unfortunate. But he hadn’t made much room in his bag for healing items and he doesn’t want to try his luck, or be up here longer than he has to.

 

It’s disappointing. Gold hates ending on a loss.

 

It’s okay though. He can always go back up. And even if it takes a while he’s got Red's number so hey, small victories. Gold finds he’s getting more and more of those nowadays. He’ll take it; better than nothing.

 

* * *

 

 

_Gold’s mom turns out to be less interested in hearing about his antics on Mt. Silver this time around._

_That’s fine, no big deal. He knows these things worry her._

_So he tells others._

_Crystal is very curious about it, if not concerned. She listens to him ramble on about it for a good hour._

_And he tells Red’s mom too about how he’s doing, that he’s alright. A bit scruffy, but alright. She smiles._

_He talks about it with a couple of his gym leader buddies too. Nobody really seems too interested, except Whitney and her friends._

_One friend in particular is **very** interested._

_Smugly, Gold wonders if she likes his stories, or just him._

_A few people from the radio catch wind of it and ask him for interviews._

_Gold declines them all._

_It’s not his place to spill all Red’s secrets. The dude probably wants his privacy._

_Besides, Gold has become pretty good at holding onto secrets, anyway._

 

* * *

 

 

Egg hatching turns out to be a very weird experience. Gold’s not so sure he likes it. Doesn’t hate it, but not a big fan.

 

He’s never hatched one before this. Crystal has, her Togetic was hatched from the same egg Gold picked up and delivered on his first ever quest as a trainer. She’s researched it since then too, so she’s the expert on this.

 

Once May starts, they head on down to Route 34, pick a few random eggs, and each strap four to themselves securely. Two in the front, two in the back.

 

Gold finds out that they’re surprisingly heavy, that some have unique patterns and some are a pale yellow with dingy green spots. He always likes to grab a pattern one and Crys prefers the mystery of the pale ones.

 

And then they walk. A lot. They have a path they take: first south to Ilex Forest, head in, leave a treat as offering on the shrine. Then north again, all the through Goldenrod’s main street, loop up and around the National Park, head down until they’re at Route 34 again, and repeat.

 

It would probably be very boring if they were doing this alone. He can see why Crystal wanted him to join her.

 

He suggests one time they should ride their bikes around to make it hatch quicker. Crystal scowls at him and firmly tells him that’s not how it works.

 

Gold thought it was a good idea.

 

Whatever.

 

They pass the time just talking. Each day Gold brings a Pokemon or two along and lets them walk with, Crystal doing the same. It’s relaxing, easygoing. A different kind of mind numbing from what he's use to. Gold finds it's pretty tolerable.

 

He learns an egg takes about a week of them walking it to hatch. He learns that they’ve bred the typical Kanto and Johto starters, but Eevee and Pikachu as well.

 

Gold can understand the Eevee, they’re hard to find and good, adaptable Pokemon for young trainers to learn with. But Pikachu? Those things are pretty easy to find in Kanto, and not utterly rare in Johto.

 

When he asks Crystal why they’re hatching Pikachu, she just shrugs. Says something about how they’re actually hatching the pre-evolution Pichu, and that the entire line is really popular.

 

He doesn’t get why until she tells him how they became a fan favorite after Red became champion. Makes sense. He wonders if Red knows the impact he's had on the world he's left behind.

 

The second week of May, Gold hatches his first egg.

 

It was the first one he picked. A dark blue-green one with red spots that looked oddly familiar.

 

Because it was. It hatches a Cyndaquil that was even tinier than Gold’s Typhlosion was when he first got him. It squeaks and snuffles and shakes off cracked shell and...’egg juice’, then peeps at Gold and wriggles towards him.

 

The sight makes Gold nearly weep. But nobody’s allowed to know about that. He swore Crystal into secrecy about it.

 

There’s a few shortcomings, though.

 

Most notably, no Pichu are hatching. Just Pikachu. Gold has no idea what went wrong but when they report it to Elm, the man drops his coffee and papers all over the laboratory floor. He’s frazzled for the next few days, too. Gold feels kinda bad.

 

But Pikachu are okay. They’re more recognizable and reliable than Pichu, too. Not a total loss.

 

Parting with a Pokemon that Gold hatched isn’t as hard for him as he thought it would be. The only one that was a real struggle was the Cyndaquil, but he thinks that’s probably because he was nostalgic over when his starter was that small. Crys is just as good at handing Pokemon over too. At least he doesn’t feel like a complete asshole for not getting attached.

 

He thinks they’d make decent Breeders, if they didn’t already have goals in mind.

 

They talk a lot. About important things and non-important things and whatever else. Gold talks mostly about training and strategies, which Crystal gives some pretty good input on.

 

She likes to talk about the research project, but also about her own team and gossip. Since he started to talking to Whitney more often, he’s learned some pretty good stories of his own to share.

 

And that leads to him bringing up the girl from Whitney’s gym one day.

 

When he tells her, Crystal gets a weird expression, then she cracks a grin.

 

“I think she has a crush on you.” She tells him. He snorts.

 

“Well obviously.”

 

“Do you like her too?”

 

Gold thinks about it for a bit, then he shrugs, says, “Yeah, maybe.”

 

“Ask her out then.”

 

“Maybe.”

 

He asks her if there’s any boys she likes. Secretly his motivations lie in wanting to tease her for it, but he wants to come off as being caring and reciprocal.

 

Crystal stiffens, and curtly says no, she doesn’t. And they leave it at that.

 

...

 

The project is going good its first weeks.

 

Until two things happen.

 

One, Gold has an outburst that could've ruined everything.

 

And two, a Pichu escapes. Right in front of them

 

Neither them nor the daycare people knew where it came from. It was too old to be a newborn. They thought they weren’t hatching Pichu eggs anyway.

 

It ran towards the Ilex Forest. All Gold remembers about it is that he thought it was a Pikachu at first, with the way its coat was colored. He doesn’t remember much else about it, but he hopes it’s okay.

 

* * *

 

 

_Gold spends his 14th birthday hatching eggs._

_And he’s not happy about it to say the least._

_Even if he agreed to do it. And Crystal wouldn’t have been angry if he went home._

_Even if his mom and him already went out to dinner._

_Even if his birthday, technically, already happened._

_He’s just in a bad mood. He can’t really put his finger on why but he is. And he really shouldn’t be around Crystal right now._

_Because he might..._

_Snap._

_It happens, when she’s prattling on about something he doesn’t care about, getting on his nerves. He interrupts her. She looks lost, taken aback._

_“Don’t you have anyone else you could be doing this with.”_

_Crystal is confused. Obviously, she is. She doesn’t know what she did wrong._

_“I thought you wanted to do this with me?” She says, so hesitant and cautious. It just makes him more annoyed._

_“Not really.” He says._

_“You can go home then, sorry.”_

_Gold says something he shouldn’t._

_The rage comes from nowhere, fueled by nothing._

_..._

_“Don’t you have any **friends** you can do this with?”_

_He doesn’t look at her as he says it. Doesn’t think about what his words were. Not until hers come._

_“...I guess..._

_“..No, I don’t.”_

_When he looks, he watches her expression fall. A sadness he hasn’t ever seen on her before. Her bottom lip quivers until she bites down on it and-_

_Gold feels fucking awful. Unbelievably awful._

_Rage dies as quickly as it came and he doesn't know where it came from to begin with._

_~~The need to hurt others to feel better never left his childhood.~~ _

_He doesn’t know how to remedy this. He just knows-_

_Guilt._

_His head hangs down in shame. And he thinks. And thinks. And tries._

_And it hits him._

_He’s no better._

_Sure, there’s people to talk to. People to bug. People to call. But he has no friends. Nobody he can really hang out with. Nobody he can really trust._

_..._

_Except._

_..._

_“Well, I’m your friend.” Gold says. And means it._

_As he looks at her for the second time, she’s stricken. Confused. Then she sniffles, and rubs her eyes, and gives him a smile. And he gives her a small one in return._

_And he apologizes. For real. For being so mean to her all this time. Crystal says it’s okay._

_But it isn’t._

_Gold needs to be better._

_He wraps his arm around her and pulls her into a one-armed hug even though he hates them, and she pats his back._

_It's not enough. It's shameful knowing he still hasn't changed._

_But..._

_He’ll be better._

_To her. To his mom. Everybody._

_..._

_~~Problem child.~~ _

 

* * *

 

 

Since Crystal is a geek and likes doing schoolwork for some reason, generally she prefers staying home Mondays to Wednesdays, and then the rest of the week she heads out with Gold to do the egg thing.

 

Usually, Gold spends those three days when she’s doing school usually at the Battle Tower. It’s getting, less fun. His Pokemon are too strong for their own good. If he’s not there he’s in Goldenrod talking to well...he’s embarrassed about it now that Crys totally unfairly called him out about the girl.

 

That’s a whole ordeal on its own Gold hasn’t acted on.

 

Not to mention it's still a little tense between him and Crys after what happened.

 

...

 

Every other week, he’ll go to Blackthorn City for the day to see what Silver’s up to. He’s gotten stronger for sure, but Gold always wins. Silver’s challenging at least.

 

Gold goes to see Blue once, too. Not much happens, even if Blue is less busy than before.

 

He usually has no time for Gold. It makes him a bit annoyed, because who the hell else does Blue have to talk to? He knows he’s not busy doing gym work, that’s for sure.

 

(He heard a rumor from Whitney who heard it from Jasmine who heard it from Morty who heard it from Clair who heard it from Lance that Blue is total a pain to deal with. Something about him half-assing paperwork and being missing from the gym most of the time and sassing people to hell and back.

 

But you didn’t hear it from Gold)

 

At some point, Gold jokingly asked if Blue would rather have Red here instead of him. Blue not-so-subtly kicked Gold out of the gym, red-faced and crabby. It made him laugh.

 

He knows Blue isn’t _actually_ upset. He also knows he was completely right.

 

And also that he’s probably banned from the Viridian gym indefinitely. Ah well. The prices Gold pays for being so correct about everyone.

 

June passes without much happening. July comes and Gold feels a bit relieved knowing by the end of it, Crystal will be on summer break and they can hang out more. And get the stupid egg thing over with.

 

But until then, he’s on his own. Today is Blackthorn day so he’s heading up to the Dragon’s Den to kick Silver’s ass, the usual. He figured out something new to do with Victreebel so he’s eager to test it out.

 

Passing by the gym, he notices it’s closed for the day. Weird, but not unexpected. He wonders what a person like Clair even does on her days off.

 

Gold calls out Gyarados once he’s inside the cave and swims on over to the platform in the center of the lake. He doesn’t bother to recall Gyarados once he’s climbed on up, he rarely does. The big lug feels pretty much at home here. He gets why.

 

Silver’s at his usual spot on the deck outside the house. He’s got his back to him. Looks like he’s...doing some kind of intense posing as his Feraligatr practices its attacks against the air.

 

Gold’s sure they’re working on some sort of nonverbal ordering system but-

 

He looks absolutely ridiculous.

 

Gold tries to cover his mouth to muffle the burst of laughter but he’s too late. It comes out as a loud snorting noise and Silver whips around, face nearly the same color as his hair.

 

It makes Gold totally lose it, doubling over holding his stomach as he cackles.

 

“Don’t make fun of my training!” Silver yells at him, voice sharp and defensive. It just makes Gold laugh harder.

 

“You look crazy!”

 

“Shut up!”

 

“Have you been spending too much time watching Clair pose or something?”

 

“I said shut up!”

 

Silver crosses his arms, glaring him down as intense as ever. Weirdly enough, it doesn’t have the same effect on Gold it used to.

 

With a wheeze and sniffle, Gold stands up straight, wiping his eyes. “You’re hilarious man.”

 

“Humph.” Is all he gets in return. It’s totally worthy of another jab. Gold gets ready to say something, when-

 

“Are you playing nice there, Gold?”

 

He spins around gracelessly to come face to face with Lance, with a bored-looking Clair trailing after him. There’s a twinkle of amusement in his voice and a light look on his face. It makes Gold grin.

 

“I always am-“

 

“You!”

 

Gold cuts off, turning to stare at Silver in surprise. His rival is giving Lance the same nasty expression he usually reserves only for Gold. It catches him a bit off guard.

 

Lance stops a bit across from them, raising an eyebrow at Silver’s outburst. Clair stands next to him with a hand on her hip, looking at Silver like he’s just some random bratty kid.

 

“Yes?” Lance asks as if he’s expecting something more from Silver. He gets nothing. Gold nudges Silver with his elbow and in return gets shoved nearly hard enough to make him step to the side.

 

Gold doesn’t know where this hostility is coming from. He feels his stomach getting red-hot from it against his will and he doesn’t appreciate that reaction at all.

 

Lance narrows his eyes like he’s thinking. It takes him a few seconds. Then, he speaks. “You...we met at the Team Rocket hideout some years back.”

 

Huh. Gold didn’t know that. Or maybe he did and he just forgot. He’s a bit busy trying to calm himself to really care though.

 

“Tch, duh! Where have you been all this time?” Silver replies, way louder than necessary. Lance isn’t that far away.

 

 “I-“ Lance starts, or tries to.

 

“Never mind! I’ve had plenty of time to prepare myself. Get ready to lose.” Silver sneers, posing unnecessarily. Feraligatr steps forward and snaps its jaws menacingly.

 

“Calm down.” Lance says coolly, expression showing his clear displeasure at being interrupted before. “I’ve been quite busy since then. Sorry for that.”

 

Gold’s feeling better now but he is utterly tuning these two out. Clair looks like she’s doing the same. They share a look. An ‘I don’t really want to be here right now’ look.

 

Lance continues, much bolder sounding than before. Gold recognizes an act for the kids when he sees one. “But, I always welcome challengers!

 

“Hey. How about a double battle?” Lance suggest, snapping Gold back to reality. A what.

 

He looks at Clair again. Seems now she’s paying attention too. She looks interested.

 

“Humph! You just can’t beat me one-on-one, can you?” Silver scoffs. _He already did_ , Gold thinks. It’s too mean to say though. Gotta stop being so mean.

 

Lance frowns. “Come on. A double battle really isn’t so bad.”

 

He steps forward, nodding his head. “Gold, you’ll be on my side.”

 

“Well then.” Clair sighs, then puts on her act and smiles, radiating cool confidence as she steps towards Silver. “You there! Will you team up with me?”

 

Gold grins and reaches for his Pokeballs, but jumps as Silver raises his voice.

 

“You must be kidding!” He exclaims, looking borderline offended. Lance and Clair freeze like they don’t know what to make of that. “That embarrassing one in the weird costume for me? No way I can battle with her!”

 

Silver steps towards Clair to intimidate her, Feraligatr following behind him. Clair steps back, looking shocked at first, then murderous. And utterly humiliated.

 

Gold knows he shouldn’t laugh but he _really_ wants to because he has no idea how to react and _holy shit_ Silver who just says that?

 

Lance looks like he’s holding back a laugh too. Clair’s cheeks turn scarlet red.

 

With a huff and a turn, Silver faces Gold and extends his hand to him, determination in his eyes. “Gold, come to my side. We’ll beat Lance together!”

 

 _Together_.

 

He doesn’t know when Silver become such a ‘together’ person, but it makes Gold’s body feel warm and sparked to life with energy. He grins at him, gripping Silver’s hand in a tight shake.

 

“Damn straight.” Gold says. Silver smirks in return.

 

And together, they crush the dragon tamers like it’s nobody’s business.

 

Gold’s pretty sure that Silver would’ve preferred he win on his own, but he looks pleased with himself none the less. Lance comes off composed as usual, congratulating the two on their teamwork and praising their hard work. Clair is less red-faced than before, but she still looks desperate to flee the situation.

 

Unfortunately for her, Lance sticks around for a few minutes, curious to see how Gold’s Gyarados is doing in person. They stand by the railing and he whistles over the edge to get Gyarados’ attention. When he pops up, Lance pets Gold’s beast of a Pokemon and compliments his work on training him.

 

Neither of them pay attention to Clair and Silver hanging around behind them. It’s probably awkward. Sucks for them.

 

Gold asks if there’s a gym opening yet. Lance says no a little too quickly, then changes the subject.

 

So then, Gold asks if him and Clair are dating or something. Lance looks at him as if he’s grown a second head and informs him stiffly that no, they’re cousins.

 

Gold feels very embarrassed.

 

Mercifully, Lance decides to take his leave then. Gold’s relieved it doesn’t look like Clair heard what he said. She doesn’t need to know how much of an idiot Gold is too.

 

After he goes, Gold turns his attention to Silver now. The favor isn’t returned, but that’s okay.

 

Gold’s got something on his mind now.

 

“ _You two make quite the team_.” He remembers Lance saying after the battle. He looks at Silver tending to his chittering Gengar with a proud expression on his face, one Gold thinks looks much better than a glower, and figures, huh, maybe they do.

 

* * *

 

 

_The next time Gold comes to visit Silver following their double battle, he’s got an idea._

_He doesn’t want any more enemies. Or at least, anymore bad relationships with people. If he can help it, at least._

_And from past experiences, Gold knows he always gets closer to people through talking._

_~~Before he talks too much and says something he shouldn't.~~ _

_So._

_He asks Silver, “Do you want to try my new method to being a stronger trainer?”_

_Silver’s naturally apprehensive about it. That’s fine, Gold doesn’t mind talking him into it._

_Egg hatching is the new strength training trend, he promises._

_Walking grows you closer with your Pokemon, so they get stronger._

_Silver buys it and agrees to come with and try it. Once._

_That works for Gold._

 

* * *

 

 

“I can’t believe you roped me into this.”

 

Silver sounds and looks miserable in the summer’s heat, contrary to how much Gold is enjoying himself in it. He’d probably be better off if the idiot wasn’t wearing jeans and boots.

 

“I’m telling you, it totally boosts your strength as a trainer!” Gold promises, clapping Silver on the back, earning a deathly glare for it. To Gold’s right, Crystal giggles.

 

“This is your rival, Gold?”

 

“Yeah. He’s a bundle of joy ain’t he?” Gold laughs, strapping a final egg to Silver’s front.

 

“This is the worst possible thing you could have done to me.” Silver says a bit too genuinely. Gold grins.

 

“Get over it. You need to get out of Blackthorn once in a while.”

 

Silver just huffs, flipping his hair out of his face. It looks hot. Crystal notices it too.

 

“Do you want a ponytail holder, Silver? I have plenty.” She offers. Silver stares as if he doesn’t know how to react to her kindness.

 

“I’m good. Thank you though, uh...”

 

“Oh! I forgot, this is Crystal. She’s my friend, this is kinda her project I’m helping with.” Gold explains. It feels weird introducing her as his friend.

 

“It’s _Kris_ , actually.” She corrects, giving Gold a look. He feels extremely clueless.

 

“Right. Well, nice to meet you. I guess.” Silver says, not seeming to care about Gold’s blunder.

 

“You too.” She smiles.

 

And then, they start to walk.

 

Gold and Crystal- er, Kris start up their usual banter, chattering away while Silver trudges along next to them in near-silence. They try to get him to join in several times but he just won’t have it.

 

His loss. Gold pays him no mind.

 

A bit of him regrets inviting Silver along. He wanted to try and boost their relationship but Silver seems content to letting them be bitter rivals. It kinda sucks.

 

Gold also wants to ask what’s up with Crystal being so insistent on Kris but whatever. He’ll ask her later.

 

After an hour of walking, Silver finally caves and takes that ponytail holder. Kris helps him tie his hair up and Gold’s not sure if he looks more or less girly with it up like that.

 

Once it’s done though, Silver starts to join in their conversation more, hesitant at first. It turns out him and Kris are both into some drama on TV and the new DJ from Lavender Town’s music station.

 

Gold wants to be snide and ask since when does Silver have so much free time for things that aren’t training. He keeps it to himself.

 

Actually, he steps back to let the two of them talk. He figures they need the company more than he does. So instead, he decides to entertain himself by looking around.

 

Behind them, their starters are walking with each other in the same order as their trainers. Cute.

 

Typhlosion and Feraligatr keep butting heads with each other and growling. Gold’s sure they’re just being playful but he gives Typhlosion a scolding look as a warning. Kris’ Meganium seems to be doing a good job of keeping the peace, at least.

 

Gold trusts her with making the two behave, so he sets his sights elsewhere. They’re approaching Ilex Forest so they’ll have to turn around soon.

 

A memory of Silver’s childhood face springs into his mind and he has to squeeze his eyes shut and breathe to shut it out. Kris and Silver don’t seem to notice.

 

The closer they walk to the woods the more Gold starts to feel off. He takes a swig from his water bottle and then puts it back in his bag. Wipes the sweat from his brow.

 

The feeling doesn’t go away though. He drinks more water, fearing heat exhaustion.

 

But then as they reach the forest and get ready to turn around, it hits him.

 

Gold’s feeling some sort of presence.

 

He inhales a sharp breath and watches the forest. Kris stops talking and Silver follows suit, likely giving Gold funny looks. He doesn’t pay attention.

 

Just watches. Narrows his eyes, looks into the depth of the woods.

 

A flash of light from far within it.

 

Birds scatter and fly out of trees. He hears rustling and cries off in the distance.

 

Naturally, he heads in.

 

He doesn’t run, he’s got eggs strapped to him, that would be dangerous, but he does walk at a brisk pace. Kris calls his name, worried. Silver does too, annoyed. Gold pays attention to neither.

 

It doesn’t take a genius to know where the light came from. He walks to the shrine and checks around. The offering him and Kris left early that morning is gone. Confirms his suspicions.

 

Gold searches around, whistling the tune he taught to Celebi. There’s no response. He hears rustling in the underbrush, and footsteps behind him. Bushes it is.

 

Cautiously, he moves towards them. And carefully moves them aside, looks within-

 

Ah. It’s just two Pichu.

 

...

 

 _Wait_.

 

Gold recognizes one of them as the weirdly colored Pichu from weeks before. It hisses at him and sparks its cheeks. Its coat seems reflective and glittery.

 

Next to it is a normal-colored Pichu, but it’s got a weird ear. Spiky. It looks weaker, more tired, not hurt though. He frowns.

 

The footsteps stop behind him. Kris quietly says his name like it’s a question. He pulls out a pouch from his bag, careful not to disturb the eggs on him.

 

From the pouch he removes a berry and holds it out to the spiky Pichu, giving it a few words of encouragement. The odd-colored Pichu bristles, but spiky creeps closer and nibbles on the berry. It devours it a second later and squeaks before rubbing its cheek against Gold’s hand.

 

And ah damn it, his heart’s melting.

 

With a few kissy squeaky noises he gently scoops her up and holds her closer to his chest, pulling out another berry. He sits down completely too while he’s at it.

 

The spiky Pichu takes the berry and eats it with delight. Kris crouches down next to Gold, giving him an odd look.

 

“Is this really what you were so freaked out about?”

 

He pouts his bottom lip, giving Pichu another berry. “Yes. Look at the other one. It’s familiar, right?”

 

He nods his head at it. Frankly, it looks both jealous of its friend and angry at Gold for messing with it. Kris seems curious.

 

“The one that ran away?” She asks.

 

He nods. “Yeah. Look at it. It kinda looks like a Pikachu, right?”

 

“Maybe the colors.” She comments and fishes out her own berry pouch, offering it to the other Pichu. It approaches her with much more caution than its friend did to Gold, but accepts the berry with reluctant eagerness.

 

Gold smiles. He rubs his fingers against the spiky Pichu’s cheek. She rubs back against it and sparks him. It doesn’t hurt at all, just a little jolt.

 

Adorable.

 

Yeah, he’s totally keeping her.

 

When he looks at Kris he can tells she’s thinking the same about the Pichu she’s got.

 

“...You guys are weird.” Silver deadpans from behind, and Gold turns his head back to find Silver’s staring them down like they’re insane. Their starters are further behind Silver too. Typhlosion looks awful jealous of the attention Gold’s giving the Pichu.

 

It makes him snicker. Silver repeats “You guys are weird.” with less exasperation than before. He’s right, but it’s a weird Gold likes.

 

* * *

 

 

_’Remarkable’_

_It’s a word among others Elm exclaims when Gold and Kris take their new Pichu bundle to show him._

_He’s awful excited about it. Babbling on and on._

_Kris seems to be following on with no problem Gold is having less success._

_When Elm does manage to get his thoughts together he explains why these two are so special._

_Apparently, the Pichu are time-travelers of all things._

_Elm and Oak have been researching it ever since the recorded reappearance of Celebi._

_Wonder how that happened._

_But anyway. They noticed some anomalies but were unable to connect them to anything. Until now._

_Gold gets it now, Celebi brought him and Kris presents or whatever. A bit selfish to take them from their own time, right?_

_He’s not complaining though. They’re adapting well here. And his Pichu is energetic and bubbly and mischievous and precious so._

_Thanks Celebi._

_Gold still hates these time travel shenanigans though._

_..._

_As Gold takes home Pichu, his mom practically squeals with delight and babies it the moment she gets her hand on it._

_Looks like mom feel to the Pikamania ‘sparked’ by Red, too._

_Speaking of Red, Gold sends him a picture of his Pichu._

_Two days later he gets a response back of just ‘!’. Gold supposes that means something good._

 

* * *

 

 

Silver doesn’t decide to join them for another egg hatching session besides that first day. It was worth a shot, at least. Gold decides he’s content with never being that close to his rival.

 

That doesn’t mean he’s not going to visit him still, clearly.

 

As fall gets closer and closer along the horizon, the project is actually ending. Gold though it would take a lot longer, but he supposes he overestimated the amount of work they’d have. He’s pleased to report the hatched Pokemon are doing well with the Professors too. It’s a promising study. Reports are already being written and filed.

 

What he’s gonna do after it though, he’s unsure. But he’ll figure it out. Right now, all Gold’s concerned with doing is defeating Silver for the umpteenth time.

 

Approaching Blackthorn City on Dragonite’s back, he sees the clouds gradually begin to gray with the telltale sign of rain. Lucky for him, they land before it starts and he’s able to put Dragonite back in her ball before she gets wet and kills him.

 

Pichu was not much a fan of flying, so he put her in her ball. When Gold calls her back out he helps her perch on his shoulder and nuzzles their cheeks together. She’ll be no battler, but she’s an adorable pet.

 

With that, he gets going again.

 

Even as Gold’s entering the Dragon’s Den, there’s no rain yet. It’s darker inside the cave than usual, more of a chill, too.

 

He shivers and keeps going. Rides on Gyarados until he’s at the platform, then lets him swim around. In the bare bit of light, Gyarados’ scales appear that much shinier and illuminate the water where he swims around. Pretty.

 

Heading closer to where Silver usually is, he finds that he’s alone for once. Confusing, until Gold looks in the water and notices Silver’s Feraligatr is swimming around too.

 

Weird, but not too bad.

 

He walks closer and sees Silver sitting on the edge of the platform, legs hanging over the side between the gaps in the railing, his head against the banister. A blank, contemplative look on his face. Gold’s caught a bit off guard.

 

Even so, he sits down next to him, poking his legs out over the edge just like Silver is. Pichu rolls into his lap and he holds her in it to keep her from falling into the water.

 

Watches Silver. Silver’s eyes briefly turn to meet Gold’s before they start off into the distance again. A sigh. Gold doesn’t get what’s up.

 

“Hey?” He tries, and taps his finger on Silver’s shoulder. It gets shrugged off.

 

“Hey.” Silver mumbles, looking at Gold again. He seems...drained. Gold wonders what’s wrong.

 

So he asks. “What’s on your mind, man?”

 

Straight to the point. Silver only shrugs, hanging his head down with another sigh, forehead on the railing.

 

“Thinking.” He finally says after a bit too long of tense silence.

 

“A dangerous hobby.”

 

“Indeed.”

 

“....”

 

Gold’s out of things to say. He’s not sure if he should leave Silver be, or try to get him to talk about it. He’s never been good with people, let alone the touchy-feely things.

 

Pichu butts her head at Gold’s hand and he rubs her ears as he watches Silver. It’s harder to see his face at this angle, red hair acting as a curtain to hide behind. Gold thinks it’s probably a bit too weird to tuck his hair behind his ear for him.

 

So he’ll accept the silence, for now. He knows Silver will tell him what he wants, when he’s ready.

 

So...he waits.

 

And just keeps his attention on him.

 

...

 

Finally, Silver speaks up, voice so quiet Gold nearly misses it over the roar of the whirlpools.

 

“Gold, do you think I’m a bad person?”

 

It’s so earnest Gold’s at a loss for a moment. Silver’s brushed his hair out of his face enough to look at him, expression miserable in a different way than normal. He’s not sure what to make of it.

 

Painfully, Gold feels a twinge of sadness as he’s reminded of the tearful boy from before and how much Silver is resembling him right now.

 

Is he a bad person? It’s...a hard question. Ask Gold three years ago and he would’ve responded with a firm ‘absolutely’. But now? Well, Gold’s not so sure he’s always a good person. Can he really judge...

 

Despite how long it’s taking for Gold to respond, Silver’s expression hasn’t fallen. It’s still sullen, but there’s a calmness and patience uncommon to ever find on him.

 

Gold collects his thought. Then speaks.

 

“I think that, you use to do some not-so-great things. When you first got Pokemon and didn’t know how to train them best. But even then, I don’t know if you were a bad person.” He explains, concentrating on making sure everything comes out right. “I don’t think you’re a bad person now either.”

 

He finishes, hoping it’s enough. Silver purses his lips and huffs quietly, turning his head down again.

 

“Yeah. You’d probably say that.”

 

“Huh?”

 

Gold stops petting Pichu to give Silver his full attention. The redhead groans and rubs his face, sitting up a bit straighter. He prays he didn’t say the wrong thing.

 

Pichu gives and indigent squeak and sparks Gold, the runs off to lap around the platform. Gold lets her; he’s pretty sure she’s smarter than most of his Pokemon, so definitely smart enough to not nosedive into the raging waters.

 

Silver watches her go, giving a small noise that maybe resembles a laugh, then he rests his forward back on the banister, sighing. He stares off into the distance. Gold keeps paying attention.

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been a good person.” Silver admits, sounding like it’s too easy for him to do so. “I think even now, I’m not a good person. Even as a trainer I’m just...tch. Well you know.”

 

It comes off as accusing almost. Gold frowns. “I think you’re a lot better than you know.”

 

“Even if I am, what does it prove? I already missed my chance at being a great trainer while I was raising my Pokemon. I missed out on being a good person...when I was born, I guess.” Silver huffs, blowing a strand of hair out of his face. He comes off more annoyed than moody, at least.

 

Gold doesn’t think he could deal with moody teenager drama. But he takes it in, what Silver said. Knows exactly what he's referring to. And thinks of the best thing to say that will get Silver to truly talk.

 

“...What did you mean about missing out of greatness because of how you raised them?” Gold asks.

 

A small, bitter laugh. “Come on, Gold. You saw me, you knew how I was. I was an asshole, not just to you but to everyone. Including them. I thought I could become stronger through force and anger and...hell, I’m still trying to undo the damage I did.”

 

It sounds difficult for Silver to say. His rival hangs his head down more to once again cover his face with hair. Gold knows an attempt to hide from it all when he sees one.

 

He lets him. Doesn’t say anything, either. He knows Silver’s still talking.

 

Listening without commenting is hard, but Gold tries.

 

“...You know, it’s my fault Feraligatr has that scar on his face. My carelessness got the best of me and I let it happen.” Silver says, finally, shame heavy in his voice. It’s almost too much for Gold.

 

“What happened?” He asks, quietly. There’s no judgement there.

 

Silver tightens his fists on the bottom of his jacket. “Tch...of course you’d ask.”

 

“Sorry-“

 

“It’s fine. I know you probably wanted to ask back after it happened.” Silver sighs. “I was...super pissed about Lance beating me. Thought it was just a fluke or something. So I tried to take on the strongest trainer I could find, some ace one or whatever. And...

 

“I was careless, and too headstrong. There was no way I was going to win but I kept going and pushed them like it was their fault. And Feraligatr was trying the hardest out of anyone. I didn’t tell him to watch his defense and...”

 

Silver makes a cutting motion across his still-hidden face and a sound effect. “Slash. Down he went.”

 

Gold feels a knot forming in his stomach.

 

Silver keeps going, voice heavy. “The trainer immediately stopped fighting me and tried to help, but I was too god damn stubborn to let him. Thought I could handle it myself Even after I took my team to a Pokemon Center, it was scarred for good. Too late for anything to be done to fix it.”

 

He hears Silver take a deep breath, and exhale out a shaky one. Gold frowns, taking it all in. He remembers seeing it, likely after it first happened. And it was bad.

 

He felt so angry at the time. Part of him wondered if Silver did it to Feraligatr at the time.

 

But now...

 

“It’s not your fault, Silver. You didn’t know that was going to happen.” Gold tells him.

 

Silver shoots him a look, finally, full of rage. “What do you know?! It wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t put him out there! It had to have hurt like hell and that’s _all_ on me. Don’t you dare pity me.”

 

The fire in his voice is just as familiar as the weakness was before. Gold swallows.

 

He’s not going to pity Silver. He meant what he said, but...it’s not going to get him anywhere.

 

So Gold thinks. He thinks about what’s best. Choosing words carefully has been something he’s been working on, among other things. Personal growth. There’s a lot to take away from what he’s learned himself, so if he can just figure out how to frame it...

 

It comes to him.

 

“You know, I think that as a kid, I was a bad person. Not in the same way, but still.” Gold starts. Silver’s hidden his face again, he doesn’t know if he’s listening. Regardless, he continues.

 

“I think even recently, I’ve done some pretty bad things. Said them, more like, but whatever. And every time I think about what I’ve said it makes me just, _angry_ , but not with anybody, but with myself. And for so long I sat there and thought about what I should’ve done, what I said and what happened later on.

 

“But at some point, you have to stop only caring about what you did.” Gold says firmly. He hasn’t figured out what he’s going to say next, but it keeps coming.

 

“You have to accept that yeah, you use to be a shitty person. And maybe you still are. But nothing’s gonna change unless you accept what you did and apologize and be better. You can never be better until you move on from what you did and learn from it.

 

“And if you never accept what you did, never accept it was a part of you, you'll never be able to move on.”

 

He finishes, feeling very mature. Like some wise old man spreading his knowledge to the kids.

 

Silver shares the same thought, apparently. “You sound so old and preachy. Act your age, would you?” He laughs, rubbing his face.

 

There’s no venom in his voice, so Gold takes no offense.

 

Silver has a nice laugh when he’s not being condescending.

 

“I’m right, though!”

 

“Kinda, yeah.”

 

Gold beams at the praise. “You gonna listen to me, then? Stop being so hard on yourself?”

 

“Maybe.”

 

It’s enough. Hesitantly, Gold reaches his hand out to give Silver’s back a few pats. For once, he isn’t brushed off.

 

He doesn’t linger his touch, that'd be weird, but still.

 

Silver lifts his head to watch their Pokemon circle each other in the water. Pichu stops her running to come bouncing up to the redhead. Silver doesn’t smile, but he does give her a few scratches behind her ear.

 

He’s not smiling, but he seems less upset than before. Gold counts it as a victory.

 

The silence lasts between them for a minute, and then two, and maybe more but Gold stops focusing on it. Just decides to watch their Pokemon and enjoy the company.

 

Finally, Silver speaks up, voice sounding lighter than it was.

 

“For being so stupid, you do say the occasional smart thing every now and then.”

 

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

 

“Kinda.”

 

“Well...thanks.”

 

“No, thank you.”

 

Silver’s words are genuine. Gold doesn’t really know what to make of it.

 

...

 

They don’t battle that day. They don’t even talk besides their first conversation. They just sit together in peace. Even as the rain begins pouring onto the top of the cave, and it echoes the sound through the vast, empty space, they don’t move.

 

When it stops hours later, Gold leaves with a simple goodbye. He goes home, and tries not to think too hard about the things that Silver has done, and the things that were done to him.

 

...

 

A week later, Gold goes back to Blackthorn to see how Silver is doing.

 

He lands and goes to the Dragon’s Den, to the platform. Lets Gyarados swim around freely like normal.

 

Gold does not see Silver.

 

He circles around and calls his name, but to no avail. Silver is gone.

 

He asks the Master where the redhead went and doesn’t get a straight answer. The Master doesn’t know the boy’s name after all, less where he went. The old man looks thoughtful for a moment, then tells Gold, “Maybe he found what he was looking for all this time.” Gold stands there and thinks, yeah, hope he did.

 

* * *

 

 

_In the end, Gold does end up asking that girl from Whitney’s gym to be his girlfriend._

_She accepts. Obviously._

_With her, he gets a lot of firsts that fall._

_His first girlfriend. She’s cute and sweet and he likes her a lot._

_His first kiss. It was by complete accident and she made the move but he’s okay with that._

_And then..._

_His first breakup._

_They weren’t together for more than three weeks but it still bothers Gold more than he liked to admit._

_She got upset he was spending so much on the egg project. He invited her to join them but she didn’t want to._

_Said she was upset he was spending so much time with another girl._

_And made him choose between the project or her._

_Gold didn’t even realize what choice he made until the girl pushed him and ran off crying._

_He felt super bad about it, until he talked it over with his mom. Got a speech about how young love is short and sweet and it’s okay it didn’t work out. It won’t matter later on._

_It sure feels like it matters though._

_Whitney’s really mad at him. Sent him a few scathing texts and then blocked his number. Fine by him._

_~~Not fine by him that was his main source of gossip~~ _ _._

 

_Gold’s not mad at Kris though. He’s mad, but not mad at her. It’s not her fault._

_That girl from the gym becomes a couple of firsts for him._

_First girlfriend. First kiss. First heartbreak._

_..._

_The first of many._

_Unlucky._

_Gold doesn’t realize that just yet, though._

 

* * *

 

 

Fall turns out to be especially bad that year for...a number of reasons Gold doesn’t like thinking about. So even if he hates cold and snow and ice, he’ll accept the oncoming winter with a bit more reluctance than he has before. Everything dying makes him feel a bit more content with his own shortcomings somehow.

 

One day, while Kris is busy doing schoolwork and he’s not in the mood to try to hunt down Silver, Gold decides to go chill with Bugsy in his gym.

 

They aren’t...necessarily friends? But they’re pretty close. Gold likes Bugsy alright, even if he’s a bit out there. And it’s not like he can go pester Whitney since _someone_ is still all mad about what happened.

 

Gold shoves it out of his mind. He gets angry thinking about it.

 

It earns him a weird look from Bugsy. “Were you listening to me?”

 

“Yeah.” Gold sighs. He was, kinda. It’s not a total lie.

 

“Uhuh...” Bugsy says, clearly doubting him. He taps his fingers on his leg, frowning at him. Gold waves him off and starts zoning out again.

 

Bugsy stares him down. Gold makes eye contact and swallows, feeling a bit bad. He might not have the same intensity as Red but damn can Bugsy look unnerving when he wants to.

 

“Okay, fine. I’m actually listening I swear.” Gold promises.

 

“No, no, it’s okay. I know my research stuff is more of your blue-haired friend’s thing.” Bugsy laughs, making Gold relax.

 

“Sorry man.” Gold says.

 

“It’s cool. You’re more of a gossipy person though, right?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Well I’m not, but even I heard about what went down with you and one of Whitney’s friends.” Bugsy comments, a bit too disconnected sounding, and Gold feels himself getting anxious despite himself. “You must be pretty out of the loop huh?”

 

“Observant as ever dude.”

 

“Mn. Well did you hear what happened with Pryce?” Bugsy asks.

 

Gold perks at first, then deflates as realization hits him. “Oh my god. Is he dead?”

 

A blank look, then a snicker. “What? No. He’ll never let death take him come on now.”

 

“Morbid, but fair enough.” Gold snorts. “So what about him then?”

 

“Well he’s retiring. I don’t know why but I think he’s going to go live with his daughter now.”

 

Something within him lights up and Gold can feel himself getting excited as his brain begins putting two and two together. If he’s retiring that means...

 

“So what’s gonna happen to his gym?” Gold asks, unable to hide the eagerness in his voice.

 

Bugsy blinks, his brows furrowing. “Uh?”

 

“You do know, right?”

 

“Yes, I just...never mind.” Bugsy shakes his head and continues. “Well, I think it’s already in the process of getting handed over to some lady.”

 

...

 

“Huh?”

 

“Yeah. She used to be part of the Elite Four, I think. An ice-type trainer too which is good. Saves on remodeling.” Bugsy shrugs, fiddling with the cuff of his shorts.

 

Gold feels...something. Something like shock, and then nothing, and then confusion and rage and shock and hurt and disappointment and then nothing and then a flare of anger and betrayal and-

 

_What the hell, Lance._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is one of my favorites in terms of dialogue ngl :')


	6. Idiot Savant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay. And then?”
> 
> “We beat the tournaments, get the fame, and more trainers come to battle us. It makes us stronger; I beat that stupid dragon trainer once and for all, I stay better than you at everything, and you...do whatever you want to do. I don’t care.” Silver shrugs.
> 
> Gold pouts. “Gym leader.”
> 
> “Tch, kind of lowbrow, don’t you think?”
> 
> “Shove it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep telling myself to stop writing so much and yet, here I am. At some point I need to just cave and accept I can't write short chapters but today is not that day

Mahogany Town’s new gym leader was definitely not what Gold was expecting her to be. But to be fair, nobody else was expecting him to be there in the first place, so with two unexpectancies it cancels out.

 

That's how math works. Totally.

 

It starts with a text from Morty of all people. Apparently the gym leaders threw Pryce a farewell party before he left Johto. Gold’s not jealous by any means, it was a thing for Johto’s leaders and them only, he gets it. But since the new leader is coming they wanted to throw her a welcoming party and well-

 

He got invited, technically. It might’ve been last minute and only Morty was aware since he did it. But he’s not _totally_ unwanted. He’s earned his place.

 

Despite it being winter, when Gold tries to avoid going outside at all costs, he agreed to come and it’s why he ends up there.

 

He’s got a bone to pick after all. Not with the new girl, but with Lance.

 

Honestly, he could’ve just said no instead of promising Gold a call that’d never come. It would’ve sucked, but it’d have been honest.

 

So with Pichu perched clumsily on his shoulder he lets Morty lead them to the party room they’ve got rented. Inside, he catches a few confused looks from a couple of Johto’s finest, but no more than a second glance. It makes Gold feel good, that he doesn’t stick out like a sore thumb and he’s at least kinda taken seriously. Even if Whitney’s there giving him the nastiest glare ever.

 

He’s painfully aware of how some turn their eye to watch a teenage drama fight happen. Just as he knows Morty only invited him out of pity, because though he told no one, it somehow definitely got around he was pretty butthurt about the gym leader thing.

 

Despite ‘not being much of a gossip’ Bugsy sure did throw him under the bus for that one. Gym leaders are an awful chatty bunch.

 

Under Whitney’s gaze, Gold starts to feel tense among everyone. There’s more people here than he thought. Even better, while he was busy taking everything in, Pichu seems to have run off. Great.

 

Morty puts a hand on his shoulder and gives him a reassuring smile. Gold tries to calm himself down. It’s fine, it’s not a big deal. He’s welcome here.

 

It’s Clair of all people who approach them first. She greets Morty amicably while Gold’s too busy trying to spot the new leader or Lance or Pichu among the gym trainers and other invitees. He notes he’s probably the youngest here. That kinda sucks.

 

Clair’s voice cuts through his brain like an icy, too cordial knife. He turns his eyes to her as she says, “So, what exactly are you doing here, Gold?”

 

He looks at her dumbly, not sure what to say. She doesn’t sound annoyed but by her expression she doesn’t look too impressed.

 

He rubs the back of his head nervously and just replies with, “Morty invited me.”, hoping his cheeks aren’t as warm as they feel.

 

She raises an eyebrow at Morty, who shrugs, giving Gold's head a couple pats. “I figured he’d have fun. Heard he wanted to be a gym leader one day, so I decided he might as well come.”

 

Relief fills Gold, even if he's a bit confused as to how he found that out. Clair looks thoughtful, swirling her half empty drink around in its glass.

 

“Ambition is promising in those who have potential to follow through.” She muses. It doesn’t sound purposely rude but Gold narrows her eyes at her regardless.

 

He shouldn’t get mad though, not with everyone here. That’d be embarrassing and it’d be a surefire way to keep him from ever getting invited.

 

So instead, he asks, “Is Lance here?”

 

“Not that I know of. But I’m not my cousin’s keeper.” Clair huffs, sipping her drink before she continues. “Morty, you really should come introduce yourself to our new colleague. Especially considering you’re late.”

 

Clair narrows her eyes at Morty and he just gives her a sheepish look. Gold ignores them again to look around the room. He wants to meet the new leader too, after all.

 

When she comes over, she is _really_ not who he was imagining was taking over.

 

She kindly introduces herself as Lorelei, an ex-member of the Elite Four and an ice-type master. She’s smart-looking and witty and oh-so beautiful and sophisticated. She moves with grace and speaks eloquently and Gold likes her immediately.

 

He blames his teenage boy brain for why, though.

 

He lets Morty introduce the two of them and Lorelei politely tries to ask Gold about what he thought of both Kanto and the new Elite Four lineup. Gold’s a bit too flustered and awkward to make himself sound good with how he responds.

 

Embarrassingly, Clair and Morty look thoroughly entertained by how he’s acting. He’d feel worse if he didn’t catch Clair flush when Lorelei rested her hand on her shoulder for a brief moment. The lady just has that effect on people he supposes.

 

When the conversation starts to lull, Gold does the only thing he really knows to do: asks for a battle. Luckily, Lorelei seems happy to comply.

 

He’s got to whistle three times for Pichu to finally come and hop back up on his shoulder. The room is big enough they can battle in there, once everybody moves aside. They settle on a three-on-three match. Gold’s not anticipating it’ll be hard. He has an ice-type, he knows how brittle they can be,

 

Still, he keeps Typhlosion and Scizor out of the running to keep it fair. Dragonite’s not on him so no handicap for him either. And her battling style holds up as being an ex-Elite Four member. Her team is surprisingly strong and well-adjusted for their defensive weakness.

 

It’s cliche to describe an ice-type specialist like Lorelei as ‘cool under pressure’, but it’s true.

 

Gold’s just a little better though. Not that he’s gonna rub it in her face.

 

After it’s over with, they praise each other for their technique and skill then rejoin Morty and Clair’s conversation.

 

At some point, Gold manages to slip in a few questions of how she got the job and if the interview process was difficult.

 

Lorelei smiles, replies that she didn’t need to, and that a gym was guaranteed hers if one was free and she asked. Seniority and indebtment for her duties in the Elite Four. Gold considers that a bit unfair, but he can’t complain, nor hold a grudge against Lance anymore since those were the rules.

 

Which is probably for the best; he should start letting things go once in a while.

 

He moves on to talk with other leaders and people he knows he’ll get along with fine. He steers clear of Whitney though; there are some grudges that he’s not ready to let go of.

 

* * *

 

_When spring rolls around, Gold sits with Kris in Elm’s lab, the two of them playing with the plethora of starter Pokemon they’ve hatched._

_All energetic and healthy. They’ll make great partners for new trainers out there._

_It's excellent news._

_..._

_He gets a bit of bad news that day._

_(Bad for him news, anyway)_

_Kris tells him that Elm has been invited to a scientific conference in Sinnoh and he’s offered her to come along._

_The presentation is on time travel and Celebi of all things. Apparently there’s time travel legendaries in Sinnoh, too._

_It’s a great opportunity for her. She’s so young, it’s such a promising start._

_Naturally, he talks her into going._

_Her mom is less supportive._

_..._

_But, she’s still going. They’ve done research on her Pichu and she asks if she can take Gold’s with her. He declines._

_It’s going to be hard enough with Kris being gone. He needs something to hold onto._

_Elm offers him to come, but he declines. Gold doesn’t think he can handle being on a plane or a boat for that long._

_Kris will be gone from late May to early September. Gold remembers a time where he didn’t talk to her for well over a year and felt perfectly content without her presence._

_Things change. Kris is his ~~best~~ ~~only~~ friend. He’s excited for her and this opportunity but..._

_Man, this summer is going to suck._

 

* * *

 

Today’s already going to be a shitty day for Gold.

 

Even though he’s an early riser, he stays hidden under his covers for nearly an hour until he finally gets up and prepares himself for the day. Goes and feeds his Pokemon that are both inside the house and outside then sits down with his mom for breakfast.

 

Becoming friends with Kris was a total mistake because now he’s reliant on her for social contact and damn it, he might actually miss her while she’s gone. It’s so unfair.

 

He must’ve been giving his toast a terribly pitiful look because his mom’s watching him with unspoken concern. He takes a bite of his breakfast to try and quell her worries.

 

Doesn’t work, of course.

 

“It’ll be alright baby, your little friend Kris will be back before you know it.” His mom attempts to comfort him. He pushes down his need for teenage angst and tries to act rationally.

 

“I know, mom. Still sucks.”

 

“Oh honey you two can keep talking. And maybe this will give you a chance to make new friends too.”

 

The fact that she sounds so hopefully genuine about it makes Gold snort. “Since when have I ever been good at that?”

 

“Is that sass, young man?” His mother teases.

 

“Isn’t it always?” Gold takes another bite, restraining himself from sighing. Mom looks at him like she wants to say something more, but instead she gets up to take her plate in and put it in the sink.

 

She smooths his hair back and kisses his forehead as she passes by. He grimaces and waits until she’s not looking to wipe it off.

 

“Do you want me to go with you? I can call into work today.” She offers. He kinda wants to say yes, but then again he’s too old for his mommy to be holding his hand through everything.

 

Making sure he sounds as normal and convincing as he can, he tells her, “Nah that’s fine, I’ll be okay.”

 

“Are you sure? We could get you a haircut after.” She smiles as if that could cover the passive aggressive undertone to her words.

 

Gold laughs at it. “What’s wrong with my hair?”

 

“It’s a wild mess, dear. You’re starting to look like a delinquent.”

 

“Well I like it.” He protests. His mom gives him a playful scowl and sticks her tongue out at him. He sticks his tongue out at her back.

 

Mom believes his act and goes to work just fine. He washes the dishes and tries not to dwell in the feeling of aching sadness building in his chest.

 

This summer is going to suck ass.

 

Kris and Elm said they were going to leave early that morning to get everything in order, but their plane wouldn’t be leaving until 1 that afternoon. It gives Gold enough time to fly out to Goldenrod to see them off. He’d take the train but Gold’s always been more of a fan of relying on his Pokemon for transportation unless he absolutely has no other option.

 

The sun is shining and the weather is perfect out. It’s cloudy but not too cloudy, windy but not too windy, and all around it’s a beautiful day.

 

Gold hates it.

 

He hates it because he feels awful so the world should too.

 

He gets off Dragonite in front of the Pokemon Center and starts the trek towards Goldenrod’s airport. Even if she’s disobedient still, Gold calls out Pichu for emotional support. He holds her on his shoulder and rubs his cheek against hers. She must be able to tell something is wrong because she doesn’t shock him.

 

In fact, he’s pretty sure she’s known something up was up since he got the news. All his Pokemon have. Damn them.

 

“I’m fine.” He promises her. “It'll be boring but I’ll be fine. Make my life easy and don’t try running off though, okay?”

 

Pichu gives him an irritated but compliant squeak and butts her cheek against his before she crawls into the hood of his jacket and curls up in it. That’s fine by him, despite the way the tug of his hood bothers his neck a bit.

 

When he walks into the airport, he is immediately overwhelmed by the sheer amount of space and people in said space and the _noise_.

 

God, is it awful.

 

He trudges through the crowd and makes his way to where Kris said she was waiting in the meantime.

 

People bump into him and he nearly trips over people’s bags and feet and kids far too many times. Gold keeps his hands in his pockets, head up, and eyes sharp as he pushes his way through. The sooner he finds his way out of the crowd, the better.

 

It’s too early for the summer holiday. Gold doesn’t get why there’s so many people here.

 

But he finally spots them sitting amongst the rows and rows of seats in the waiting area. Elm is busy scribbling down something on a notebook, his aid sipping a coffee next to him. On his other side sits Kris, a small frown on her face.

 

She looks nervous. He can guess why.

 

He tries not to think about how fucked it is her mom isn’t here. But he supposes she’s let her daughter travel across the country for months before. This is about the same.

 

Even if she did kick up a fuss about it, but _whatever_. Not his business.

 

Kris perks after she spots him coming over and he gives her a small wave. When he gets there he sits next to her, giving her arm a light jab with his elbow. “Ready for this?”

 

“Not at all.” Kris says with a nervous laugh. Elm notices him and offers a smile before he goes back to writing.

 

Gold leans back in the chair, Pichu popping out of his head to perch on his shoulder. Kris’ eyes widen a bit. “Gold, you can’t have Pokemon in the airport. Didn’t you see the signs?”

 

He blinks, responding with a dumb, “No.” before he looks around. Oh.

 

Guess he’s not supposed to.

 

“It only matters if I get caught, right? It’s not as if I’m getting on the plane.” Gold adds in and crosses his arms, letting Pichu slide down and curl up in them. Kris rolls her eyes.

 

They sit and talk for a while, passing the time. The anxiety stays heavy in the air but neither want to bring it up. Talking is a good distraction. Gold hopes he’s helping her get her mind off about just how scary this all must be. He knows he probably couldn’t do it.

 

When 12:30 rolls around Elm’s aid politely reminds them they should probably get going. The dread starts building up in Gold’s stomach again but he pushes it down, not wanting to worry Kris.

 

He stands and after she does the same, he pulls her into a hug.

 

He hates hugs. But this is an exception.

 

“You’re going to love Sinnoh. I know you got this.” He reassures her, hugging her tighter, cutting off her air to be an ass. She gasps and beats her fist on his shoulder until he lets go.

 

She stumbles back with a wheeze. “Can you not be nice without being a jerk at the same time?” She asks with mock exasperation. He grins.

 

“I could but where’s the fun in that?”

 

“I can’t wait to have my vacation away from you.” She teases and gives him a quick hug, pulling away before he has a chance to suffocate her again. Pichu chirps at her and Kris smiles, letting her hold her finger with her itty-bitty hands.

 

“I’ll miss you cutie. Your buddy will too. We’ll be back before you know it, I swear.” Kris promises. She looks at Gold and it’s quiet for a bit. Without realizing it, he ends up frowning. She mirrors his expression.

 

A few seconds pass until she says, “Happy early birthday Gold. Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone, got it?”

 

“No promises.” He says and rests his hand on her head. He never noticed how short she is or...maybe he’s taller now. Elm pats his back a few times, smiling kindly.

 

Then,  once Kris heads towards the aid, he tells him something he wasn’t expecting.

 

“Before we uh, well yesterday before we left, that boy who took the Totodile all those years ago stopped by. The red haired one, do you remember?” Elm starts explaining. Gold’s eyebrows raise in surprise. “He came and said that he was sorry for what he did and he, well he kept saying he should return it and what he did was wrong.”

 

“...He did?”

 

Elm nods, scratching the back of his head. “Yes. I convinced him uh, it was okay and that he didn’t need to feel bad about it anymore.

 

“Huh...”

 

“Crystal said that you knew that boy still so I thought it would be good to tell you.” The professor finishes, pushing up his glasses.

 

Gold doesn’t know what to make of it. Silver apologized for that? That’s so...unlike him.

 

Maybe what he said earlier did sink in after all. He wonders what else his rival has been up to.

 

He clears his throat. “Well uh...thanks for letting me know Prof. It’s good he did that.”

 

Elm nods in agreement. He looks like he wants to say more, but his aid and Kris are already almost on the other side of the room, his aid calling for Elm to come along. The professor hurries over with a rushed and frantic goodbye and Gold calls out one back, wishing them a safe flight and good luck at their conference.

 

He watches them walk away with an unreasonable amount of sadness. It dawns on him that he is once again alone.

 

Something about it doesn’t sit right. He doesn’t want to think too hard about it.

 

So he turns around and heads out of the airport with his head lower than it was before. Pichu looks at him with worry and rubs her cheek against him. He pets her head. He guesses he’s never gonna be alone now anymore.

 

He stops by the Radio Tower on his way back to the main street to try his luck at the Lotto. He needs a good pick-me-up right now.

 

He doesn’t win anything, figures, but while he’s at the counter he makes eye contact with a familiar pink-haired girl. Whitney stares at him for a moment, her expression softening.

 

He hopes he doesn’t look as miserable as he feels.

 

“Hey Goldy. How are you doin’?” She asks, hesitantly almost.

 

“Been better.” He shrugs. Pichu peeps at Whitney and it’s enough to break the tension between them.

 

Whitney apologizes for her grudge against him, and he apologizes too. For what exactly he doesn’t really know, but it works and Whitney hugs him tight and he has to resist the urge to pull away. But, at least they make up and the drama’s behind him. For now.

 

It feels nice to be filled in on every last bit of gossip he’s missed, though.

 

* * *

 

_A few nights after Kris told Gold she was going to Sinnoh, she shows up at his doorsteps._

_His mom is in the shower, so he lets her in himself._

_She’s been crying. He can tell that much._

_He’s never been the compassionate type. To humans, at least._

_Yet, he hugs her anyway. Makes her tea. Sits at the table and lets her talk about what’s wrong._

_Her mom doesn’t want her to go to Sinnoh. Claims it’s too far away, for too long._

_Really her mom is just controlling. Gold knows that._

_Still, he hates seeing Kris get hurt over it._

_It’s not fair._

_He’s not good at doing anything but listening. Lucky enough, his mom comes down soon enough and sits down with Kris. She comforts her a hell of a lot better than Gold could._

_His mom talks to Kris’ the next day. He doesn’t know what went down but her mom doesn’t kick up a fuss about it._

_..._

_That is, until a week before Kris leaves, when she gets her hair cut down to her shoulders._

_Her mom is **not** happy about it._

_Personally, Gold thinks she looks better that way. Her hair sticks up less stupidly. Definitely better than pigtails._

_..._

_He asks her once why she wants to go by Kris._

_She tells him she’s named after her grandmother, and technically her mom too._

_(Gold thinks her mom’s name is Christine but he honestly can’t remember)_

_She says she wanted to be her own person._

_Gold hopes she can get there one day._

 

* * *

 

 “Don’t you ever get bored up here?”

 

It’s an innocent enough question to Gold, but Red looks at him just a bit put off. Maybe because it’s only his third visit up and he’s already asking the tough questions, but it’s been on Gold’s mind for a while.

 

He waits for Red to say something back or, uh, respond in some manner. But he gets nothing. Gold sighs, it’s not like he had high expectations.

 

Today marks Gold’s third day in Red’s weird...cave, house thing, and it’s still just as hard to talk to him as it ever was. The cave isn’t as damp and musty as Gold imagined it would be. It’s homey, almost. He doesn’t know what to really say about it. It’s a cave with a bunch of human things and Pokemon in it. That's it.

 

Red stares him down with enough intensity Gold has to look away. Pichu abandoned him the moment he let her out of her ball and is proudly absorbing up every bit of Red’s attention and affection from the comfort of his lap.

 

Pichu is awful lucky Red’s Pikachu has taken a liking to her. Otherwise, Gold doesn’t think the little rat would be very into to sharing his master with this spiky-eared brat.

 

“I seriously can’t believe you won’t use the potions I bought. Do you know how much those cost?” Gold fakes a pout. He watches Red’s expression briefly flicker with amusement before going stony again. He’s offered a shrug and nothing more.

 

Gold snorts. “See I get you think you’re some self-reliant mountain man, but jeez, have some courtesy yeah?”

 

Red blinks at him, scratching behind Pichu’s ears. She squeaks and butts her head against his hand.

 

Gold cannot believe how much he misses her attention right now.

 

He rubs the back of his head, pursing his lips. He’s seriously out of things to talk about. Red’s not even around for most of the day, usually off training from dawn to dusk, but Gold’s been struggling to talk to him from the few hours they're together.

 

They could go battle again maybe but Gold’s just won once after four loses since he’s been up and he isn’t gonna leave following a loss.

 

“Guess I should go now, huh.” He sighs and looks at Red as pitifully as he can. No change in his expression. He looks bored, maybe.

 

Gold can’t help but feel put out.

 

“At least _pretend_ like you’ll miss me.” He complains. Red offers the tiniest smile and helps Pichu up to his shoulder, rubbing his cheek against hers. She's much more steady there than she is with Gold.

 

Red’s Pikachu looks on horribly jealous. Gold feels about the same.

 

“I bet you’d miss me if I was Blue, huuuhh?” Gold jabs, hoping for a reaction. “Your mom said he’s been too busy to see you lately.”

 

He’s pretty sure those two get along about as well as him and Silver do. On sorta good terms, but just barely. But who else comes to see Red up here? Gold’s gotta have some kinda thing to use against him.

 

It doesn’t work.

 

Red only shrugs, again. Gold has found the guy basically only communicates through that and slight changes in his expression. It’s incredibly hard to read.

 

Pichu cries out for attention and Red obliges with the tiniest smile, scratching behind her ears once more.

 

“You know I have to take her with me, yeah?” Gold snorts.

 

Red shoots him a look of utter exasperation. It’s the most Gold’s seen him emote pretty much ever.

 

It makes him grin. “What, did you think she was gonna be a present or something? She’s my girl.”

 

Red huffs very quietly and hugs Pichu close to his chest. But Gold’s got the upper hand. He reaches for his bag and pulls out his berry pouch. In an instant Pichu is in his lap trying to worm her way into the bag.

 

Red crosses his arms and doesn’t stop scowling until his Pikachu comes running over and hops on his shoulder. It makes his expression light up again.

 

Gold thinks that maybe if circumstances were different him and Red could’ve been good friends. If they were neighbors or if Red didn’t insist on staying all the way up here and they met somewhere along the way.

 

And it sucks because Red’s the only person as serious and dedicated to battling as Gold is with the power to match. Other than Silver but...

 

Despite not talking, Red’s a hell of a lot easier to get along with.

 

Now that he thinks about it, he might stay up here a bit longer. Even if it is getting boring and the isolation is becoming more and more noticeable. It’s less lonely than one would think.

 

* * *

 

_One night while he’s up there with Red still, he asks him something that’s been on his mind a while._

_It starts with a “Hey Red” to get his attention. Red blinks at him, expression just as flat as ever._

_Gold swallows. Asks, “Why did you come up here?”_

_Something crosses Red’s eyes, something hard to read (just like the rest of him). Then, a shrug._

_Gold’s not satisfied. “Is it because of people?”_

_A hesitant nod. Gold goes on, “Team Rocket?”_

_A shake of the head no. “Blue?” Another shake. “The media?”_

_There’s an uncomfortable look on Red’s face. Gold frowns._

_“I get it, kinda.” He says, pausing before he continues._

_“I think...it’s too much for me sometimes.” He admits, watching the fire crackle in front of them. “Maybe not the fame, but the feeling like I need to do something more. Be impressive, be important. Do you feel that way too?”_

_He looks up at Red, watching him think for a moment before he gets a shake of the head in response. Gold deflates._

_He hoped he wasn’t alone on this._

_He sighs and pulls his knees up to his chest, hugging them. Watches the starry sky outside the cave._

_After a bit, Red passes over a weathered Pokegear, the model long out of style. Surprised, Gold takes it._

_A message on the screen._

_‘You shouldn’t worry about what others expect of you. Do what makes you happy.’_

_He reads it over a few times. Then he looks at Red, whose expression never changes._

_“Is that why you stay up here? This is what makes you happy?” He asks._

_Red grimaces some, rubbing the back of his head, avoiding eye contact. It’s not a no, but it’s not a yes._

_So Gold says, “Well, I hope you find what makes you happy.” and passes back Red’s Pokegear. He takes it and types something, then passes it back._

_‘You too, Gold.’_

_..._

_Gold doesn’t realize until much later that it’s the first thing Red’s ever said to him._

_Progress._

 

* * *

 

June makes the climb up and down Mt. Silver exceptionally pleasant. Gold doesn’t even bother to put back on his winter coat as he heads back to the base of the mountain. It was early morning when Gold left Red's mountaintop gateway. He’s down to the Pokemon Center by the afternoon of the next day.

 

He’d never tell a soul that he climbed all the way up there just to be around someone he’s sorta close to. Maybe. Gold’s got a loose definition of what friends are.

 

It’s only been two weeks and he’ll never say that he actually really misses Kris.

 

He’ll barely admit it to himself.

 

 _So_ embarrassing.

 

At the center he switches out Pichu for Scizor, since he needs him to cut down a few roadblocks along the way.

 

It turns out to be a smart decision because as he reaches the League’s Reception Hall, he ends up running into an irritatingly familiar face.

 

Who looks just as bewildered to see him there.

 

“Silver?” Gold asks cluelessly, caught off guard.

 

What’s his rival doing here of all places?

 

How the hell did he manage to get in? He’s pretty sure he’s never gotten a badge.

 

The redhead blinks at him, his expression quickly turning from equally surprised to cocky smugness. “You think you’re going to take on the Indigo League challenge now, Gold?”

 

“No?”

 

“Good.” Silver huffs, brushing his hair behind his ear. “Because I could use a good warm-up before I go and do so myself.”

 

Gold can’t help but stare at him like he’s stupid. “What?”

 

“You heard me.” Silver sneers. Gold rubs his forehead, already feeling agitated.

 

“I did but-, jeez dude you know you need badges to do that, right?”

 

“Do you think I’m an idiot? Of course I know that.” Silver scoffs and rolls his eyes, reaching for his pocket. He pulls out a small case and holds it open. There’s 8 badges in it...all of them from Kanto gyms.

 

Gold gawks at it dumbfounded. So that’s what he’s been doing all this time? What the hell.

 

While he was distracted Silver seems to have put away his badge case and he reaches for one of his Pokeballs. Gold naturally does the same, stepping back to put some space between them. Are they allowed to battle in here?

 

The guards don’t seem to be stopping them so he’s assuming it’s fine. The ceilings are nice and high too. This works.

 

He sends out Scizor to face off against Silver’s Sneasel-, Weavile, actually. A nice surprise and an added challenge. Gold orders Scizor forward and readies himself for the sweet taste of victory.

 

...

 

Instead, he loses.

 

His mouth hangs open in shock and his eyes are blown wide as Typhlosion crashes to the ground in front of him. Across the room, Silver shares a similar look of shock, Feraligatr panting out on the battlefield. When it hits him what’s just happened Silver’s mouth forms into an uncharacteristic grin and he lets out a triumphant cry, throwing his fists in the air and his head back with a laugh. Feraligatr roars in delight with him and runs over to his trainer to celebrate.

 

None of this really matters to Gold. He’s still frozen stiff where he stands. It only occurs to him to return Typhlosion to his ball when the sound of Silver’s laugh hit his ears.

 

He...doesn’t know what to do now.

 

He’s only ever lost to Red before and Red is...Red. He's as legendary as any Pokemon. And he’s not his rival.

 

It’s almost too much to feel at once.

 

So he feels nothing.

 

Silver struts up to him with a smirk on his face with Feraligatr in tow and presses his hand under Gold’s jaw to close it. “So what was that about how I never win?”

 

Gold jumps hard as he’s touched. With a scowl he pulls away, rubbing his chin. “I never said that.”

 

“Not today, maybe.” Silver snorts and flicks his hair. “Now if you don’t mind, with the aid of my partners I think it’s about time I became champion, wouldn’t you say?”

 

He smiles at him coyly. Gold doesn’t respond.

 

Silver hums and waves him off as he walks off, down towards the room before the Elite Four’s chambers. Gold watches him go, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with the realization that Silver has overtaken him. He is achieving what Gold wanted to do for years and-

 

Well, maybe Gold should feel bitter about it. But he doesn’t.

 

Instead, determination fuels his heart and he clenches his fists tight. He will _not_ let Silver be the stronger one between them, he will never accept it. And sure, he could be a bitter baby and yell at him.

 

No, he’s going to get stronger. Nothing is going to stop him from retaking his spot as both top rival _and_ as Champion. It's his right.

 

* * *

 

_When Gold returns home, he goes hard to work at becoming better._

_He finally decides to get his team back into their top shape and goes over battle strategy after battle strategy with them. He’s never too tough on them, of course, but he doesn’t need to be._

_They want to get stronger too._

_Gold gets help with it too, knowing that he can’t possibly do it perfectly._

_(Well he could, but where's the fun in that?)_

_Red is the best when it comes to it. They message back in forth and Red gives his input on what Gold should do with his team._

_A month ago, Red had never said a word to him. But if he gets talking about battles he has some amazing things to say. Gold wishes he asked sooner._

_And he asks Kris, too. She’s still busy up in Sinnoh, but she does tip him off to what she’s learned._

_With her advice, he evolves Piloswine. The change in strength is impressive._

_He asks Whitney, he asks Blue, he asks everyone he can think of. Gold’s decided he doesn’t want to just beat Silver, but he wants to beat everybody, truly be the strongest there is._

_Which he’s always wanted, but he got a bit sidetracked along the way._

_..._

_Over a month later, little rural New Bark Town gets a new visitor who asks around for Gold._

_When he meets up with them and finds out who, he’s a bit surprised._

_Silver has the same temperament he did when they met at eleven. AKA, nasty as hell._

_Gold’s no genius but he can figure out why._

_There’s been no announcement of a new Champion, after all._

_He asks Silver what he wants. Silver responds,_

_“Do you want to get stronger with me, Gold?”_

_And well, he doesn’t spare more than a second before he says yes. Gold’s just not sure what he has in mind._

 

* * *

 

“It’s a bit...extravagant, ain’t it?” Gold comments dully as he looks around at the towering facilities. Energetic music blares over the loudspeakers and that amongst the noise of the people around them and the cries and growls of Pokemon and bright lights everywhere are overwhelming his senses a bit.

 

Silver asked him to meet him in Olivine City a week after he came to Gold’s hometown and now he’s led him out west, to where the Battle Tower used to be.

 

It’s been replaced with a huge park full of battle centers and strong looking trainers everywhere. The Battle Frontier, or whatever.

 

Even if it’s a little too much, it definitely seems promising. Gold’s blood is pumping at the thought of battling everyone here.

 

“Yeah it is.” Silver replies in a huff, fanning himself with his hand, his face flushed from the heat.

 

Gold wants to tell him to get a haircut and maybe he wouldn’t be so hot, but he’d end up sounding exactly like his mom. Gross. Instead, he asks, “So how is this supposed to work?”

 

“My plan going in is to challenge these facilities, not to get stronger per say, but to get more skilled with battling.” Silver starts to explain. “They level cap you here, so there’s no use in grinding to get more powerful. But, the trainers here are serious about battling and there’s a lot to learn from going against them.”

 

As he listens, Gold nods. It makes sense. “So, we go and challenge them for a while, learn better strategies and skills. Then what?”

 

“They hold quarterly tournaments here, too. They generally don’t allow kids under fourteen to join, but we should be okay.” Silver looks around them as they walk. Gold does the same. “We enter those. They’re covered pretty well from what I’ve noticed. That gets us attention.”

 

“Okay. And then?”

 

“We beat the tournaments, get the fame, and more trainers come to battle us. It makes us stronger; I beat that stupid dragon trainer once and for all, I stay better than you at everything, and you...do whatever you want to do. I don’t care.” Silver shrugs.

 

Gold pouts. “Gym leader.”

 

“Tch, kind of lowbrow, don’t you think?”

 

“Shove it.”

 

Silver goes to say something else, but he stops. His brows furrow down as his eyes narrow to a squint, seeming to be watching something. Gold gives him a weird look and turns his head to see what’s caught his eye-

 

Oh _no._

 

“You’re kidding me! You’re here too?” Green exclaims as she bounds over to Gold with a grin on her face. She wraps her arm around his neck and he instantly pulls away from her, glaring her down.

 

“You have _got_ to be shitting me.” He says, swatting her hand away when it reaches for his cap. She giggles and crosses her arms, amused at his suffering.

 

Silver looks between the two of them, bemused. “Is this a friend of yours or something?”

 

“Wh-, as if!” Gold cries out in offense. It serves to make Green grin harder. “I met her once like, three years ago. She tried to break in somewhere and punched me when I tried to stop her.”

 

Green’s grin drops. She rolls her eyes. “Oh way to make me look like the bad guy. I tried to be your friend after!”

 

“Yeah, after you punched me!”

 

Silver clears his throat, seeming bored with their petty arguments. Green turns her attention to him, eyeing him up and down, studying him with a calculated look. Then she asks, “I’ve seen you around here a few times before. Oh! And I saw you around Kanto too not long ago right?”

 

“I don’t know what you’ve seen.” Silver scoffs. Green snickers.

 

“Oh man you two are perfect for each other. So grumpy!” She pats Gold’s back and he really should just walk away from her.

 

But he’s curious about something. So he asks, “What exactly are you doing here?”

 

“What do you think? I came to battle.” She starts, putting a hand on her hip. “I came here when it first opened a few months ago. It’s pretty cool! The Johto circuit is a lot more competitive than the Kanto so I’ve stuck around.”

 

“Have you tried any of the tournaments yet?” Gold asks.

 

“Definitely. They’re good, but pretty serious. Hey, want me to show you two brats around?” Green asks all cheery and Gold almost turns her down.

 

Silver interrupts him.

 

“That would be nice, thanks.” He replies in a flat voice. Green grins and grabs them each by their arm and starts dragging them off on her impromptu tour. Gold doesn’t exactly enjoy it, but it gives him a good idea of what the place is and what each facility is for. So it’s worth it in the end. Kinda.

 

* * *

 

_Somehow, Green ends up with Gold’s phone number. He’s pretty sure she stole his Pokegear when he wasn’t looking._

_Him and Silver are crashing at the Pokemon Center while they’re in town. Gold tries to get to know him in their time away from the Battle Frontier but Silver isn’t having it._

_As a matter of fact, even while they’re in the Battle Frontier Silver tends to disappear and do his own thing until it closes._

_Which sucks._

_Gold makes the mistake of mentioning their talk in the Dragon’s Den once, and how Elm told him that he apologized._

_Silver “accidentally” dumped his cereal and milk on Gold’s head._

_It’s always one step forward and five steps back with that guy._

_Green messages him one day out of the blue, asks if Gold wants to hang out. He doesn’t respond._

_And yet she still tracks him down and drags him out to a café in Olivine._

 

_There she babbles on about her victories and personal life and Pokemon and seriously Gold could not care less. He only gives her the bare minimum of responses._

_She drags him out for lunch a lot, actually. So much so it’s almost become a regular thing. Unfortunately._

_One day she asks, “Do you know when Kris is coming home?”_

_He’s caught off guard. He forgot they knew each other._

_“First week of September.” He says. The smile stays on her face, but she noticeably loses her perkiness._

_“Oh.” Is all the responds with. And even if Gold doesn’t like Green, he gets it. Kinda. He misses his friend too._

_Though to be fair, he didn’t know Kris and Green were so close._

 

* * *

 

The next tournament doesn’t start until the end of July, nearly a month after Gold and Silver first showed up. Gold’s left Pichu home with his mom, since he knows he can’t give her the proper attention she needs right now. He needs to focus too.

 

In the meantime, both him and Silver have been hard at work.

 

They go to the Battle Frontier each day just about, but rarely stick around each other. It takes Gold a few failed attempts at the new and improved Battle Tower before he gets the hang of battling up it. By a week, he’s managed to battle his way to number one. It’s progress he’s proud of.

 

Silver brags and claimed he rose to the top of his chosen facility in half a week. Gold has his doubts.

 

He starts a routine. He battles up the tower, cashes in his Battle Points for TMs to improve the moveset of his team, then goes back to the Pokemon Center when the Frontier closes for the day. Sometimes he eats dinner with Silver, sometimes he doesn’t. Some days he doesn’t see the redhead at all until he catches him trudging off to a rented room to sleep.

 

Green is around a lot more than Gold cares for. She apparently favors the Battle Tower as well, and he’s faced off her more than a few times.

 

She’s good. Really good.

 

He still wins most of the time.

 

Oddly enough, he doesn’t battle Silver. He must be off somewhere else he won't tell Gold. Ah well, can’t be helped.

 

His rival was right though, this is good practice. Most of the trainers aren’t the preteens and weak adults Gold’s been accustomed to facing. These trainers are usually in their 20’s or older, with powerful Pokemon and carefully crafted strategies and a serious dedication to battling.

 

Gold didn’t realize there were so many other trainers like him who shared his passion. He guesses that makes sense, even if he does feel less special.

 

The end of July comes sooner than he’s ready for. He’s kept his promise to his mom of stopping in regularly, which turned out to be coming home every other weekend. The day prior to qualifiers, she hugs him tight and kisses his face all over (ew) and promises she’ll watch the TV coverage and she’ll be cheering him on.

 

So now he’s got to win. He can’t disappoint his mom.

 

The tournament is set to last five days. Gold’s never been in a real, legit tournament, only small competitions and such, so he’s sure to go over the rules and make sure he won’t get disqualified.

 

On the morning of the first day, he walks with Silver to it. Silver puts on a confident, cold front, but it’s obvious he’s just as nervous as Gold. They wish each other the best before they part.

 

Day one is qualifiers. Both Gold and Silver make it, obviously. Green does as well. There’s a few trainers too that Gold recognizes from when he was travelling around.

 

Day two takes a hundred and twenty-eight trainers down to sixty-four. The next day is sixty-four to just sixteen.

 

Gold and Green both make it into the top sixteen. Silver does not, much to the redhead's disappointment. Green reassures him that it’s okay, it’s his first time and he’s so young, he got way higher than most would expect. Silver tells her to shove of.

 

On day four, Gold is so nervous he could throw up. They’re allowed a new team each day and he’s tried to pay attention to who he’ll be up against, but damn is it hard to remember.

 

On his way in, he ends up running into Jasmine and Morty, who wanted to come see who would win today. They wish him luck and Morty pats his head in an affectionate, big brother way before they head off to the stands. Silver said he would be up there too. His mom called that morning to tell him she was watching. Kris and Elm said they were both, too.

 

So like, no pressure.

 

That day, sixteen becomes eight, and then four, and then two, and then one.

 

Green got knocked out and placed tenth. Gold was disappointed he didn’t get to battle her or Silver during this.

 

He makes it from sixteen to eight, and then eight to four.

 

His nerves are high and his Pokemon are in the best shape they’ve ever been in. So is he. This is what he lives for.

 

And yet, despite all his hard work...

 

He does not win.

 

Gold makes it from sixteen to eight, and then eight to four, but loses in the semifinals, where the remaining four battle each other and whoever wins the most takes first.

 

He takes third.

 

He tries not to feel disappointed. He fails at that too.

 

The reception ceremony happens on the fifth day and he doesn’t want to go. He spends the afternoon before being moody and mopey until Silver and Green find him and set him straight.

 

“Why are you being a wuss about it?” Silver lectures him, slapping the back of Gold’s head just barely enough to hurt. “You placed, idiot.”

 

“I placed third.” He complains, rubbing his head.

 

Green shoots him a dirty look. “Yeah, at your first tournament! When you’re fifteen!”

 

“So?”

 

“So-, are you dense?!” She rolls her eyes. “I ranked 24th my first time! Your buddy here ranked 30th!”

 

“Watch it.” Silver interjects with a bitter tone. Gold doesn’t get her point. Green continues.

 

“Look at the guys you were up against. One of them was using Pokemon from _Hoenn_ , like some cheating freak.”

 

“Yeah I know he sucked.”

 

“Exactly. And you. Still. Placed. _Third_.”

 

Gold blinks, realization dawning on him. Oh.

 

Guess he was called a prodigy trainer all those years ago for a reason. He’s just glad it wasn’t a fluke.

 

Green and Silver both roll their eyes. “It’s so unfair.” Green gripes. “And you don’t even know it Goldy.”

 

Gold grins. He feels better now. Even with the stupid nickname.

 

He accepts his award with a better attitude than he had before. Actually, he’s really excited. He’ll get an interview and a spread of his team in the top trainer’s magazine. He’s always a sucker for attention and praise. His mom calls him like 30 times until he picks up, all teary-sounding and excited her baby won. Embarrassing, but kinda good.

 

The trophy he receives is a dull bronze but it has his name on it. Gold thinks it’ll look better in, well, gold. One day. He leaves it at home with his mom, where it gets put amongst his other achievements from his youth.

 

When he runs into Silver next time after the tournament, his rival seems to still be bitter about placing so low. Gold tries to cheer him up, offers to take him out somewhere to eat then they can hang out, relax, take some time for themselves.

 

Silver tries to brush him off. That is, until Gold says, “Didn’t you say we were going to get stronger together?”

 

“Yeah...?”

 

“Then we should work together, Silv. And that means you need to stop pushing me away.” Gold reminds him sternly. Silver looks a bit embarrassed he got called out, mumbles a reluctant agreement to Gold’s terms.

 

One step forward.

 

* * *

 

_Gold enters a couple smaller, less covered competitions in the time between the one at the Battle Frontier and when Kris comes back._

_He wins one, places second in the other. Pretty good._

_Dates a girl for like a week and a half before they break up. Less good._

_Gets a few other girls’ numbers from the competitions, anyway. It’s good again._

_Silver stays back at the Battle Frontier to keep training. He claims the smaller competitions aren’t worth his time._

_Green goes back home to Kanto. She says her dad’s been nagging her to finish up her schoolwork so she can graduate early. He should probably do the same, but he’s not gonna._

_Gold’s not exactly sad to see her go, but it sucks just a little._

_She tells him to say hi to Kris when she comes home, and that they all should get together sometime. He reluctantly agrees._

_After he breaks up with girlfriend, he heads back to the Battle Frontier. He texts Silver to meet him somewhere for lunch._

_And when Silver rolls up with half his head shaved and his ears pierced, Gold loses his mind laughing at him and has an absolute field day teasing him._

_“What were you thinking? You look crazy!”_

_“I didn’t ask for your opinion!”_

_Which only makes Gold rip on him more. Silver puts up with it, surprisingly._

* * *

 

Kris and Elm’s flight is supposed to get back at four in the afternoon. Or rather, it’s just going to be Kris. Elm and his aid wanted to stay back for another week or two.

 

Gold thinks it would be terrifying to get on a plane on his own. But maybe Kris is better in that front than he is.

 

He tells Silver that they can’t hang out that day since he’s going to go meet up with her. Oddly enough, Silver asks if he can come along. Silver doesn’t have a phone or a Pokegear so Gold knows there’s no surprise friendship there like there was with Kris and Green.

 

Speaking of Green, good lord. She messages him all the time. He thinks she’s the only person besides Whitney who’s so talkative about absolutely nothing. And him too, of course

 

She tells him that she can’t make it, but they still should hang out sometime. Gold texts her back with one word of confirmation since he knows if he doesn’t, she _will_ send message after message to be annoying until he does.

 

Silver handles the airport just as bad as Gold did his first time.

 

Actually, he does worst. He takes one look at the crowd as they head in and tells Gold he’ll be waiting outside for them. Gold calls him a baby and Silver tells him a few choice words.

 

Pichu is on his shoulder, clutching to his hoodie as Gold weaves his way through the people. He picked her up from his mom beforehand since she knew she was missing Kris’ Pichu. According to his mom, when she’s not picking on Bulbasaur, she’s pouting underneath the TV stand. Poor girl.

 

He feels bad that he hasn’t been spending much time with her. As an apology he feeds her a berry.

 

People are giving him a few weird looks. He realizes he’s not supposed to have a Pokemon out.

 

Eh. He can be a rule breaker.

 

He buys himself some snacks and plops down in the waiting area. Sends Kris a message that he’s here then pesters Green and Whitney a bit. Morty and Bugsy too. He pesters everyone really, except Blue, who he’s pretty sure has either blocked him or gotten a new number.

 

Which is a tad much. Even Red puts up with him. Jeez.

 

Gold doesn’t realize Kris is heading over to them until Pichu squeals and uses his shoulder as a launch pad as she runs over to Kris.

 

Kris smiles and picks her up, saying something that Gold can’t hear. He throws his trash away before heading over to her. Pichu hops out of Kris’ arms to perch on Gold’s shoulder. Clumsy still, but they’re getting better at it.

 

Kris looks about the same as she did before she left. She eyes him up and down a moment, then grins. “You’ve gotten taller! Look at you!”

 

“Have I?” Gold responds dumbly, looking down at himself like he can tell that way.

 

She nods, seeming amused. “Yeah, I think so. Your voice isn’t cracking as much anymore too.”

 

“Thank god.”

 

“It’s deeper too. You’re almost a man Goldy!”

 

Ugh. Green and Whitney call him that. Now her too? It’s an infection.

 

“Never call me that again.” He rolls his eyes and pulls out her headband just to spite her. She makes a noise of offense and socks him in his arm. It doesn’t actually hurt but he wails and clutches it like it does.

 

They head out of the airport not long after. Gold carries two of Kris’ bags for her while she drags her suitcase behind. When they finally exit he exhales in relief and takes in the fresh air and open-but-not-crowded outdoors. He never wants to go in an airport again.

 

Like Silver promised, he’s outside waiting for them on a bench, messing with his phone in a bored manner. As they approach he looks up and gives them a small wave. He goes to speak but gets interrupted by Kris laughing.

 

“Oh my-, Silver! What did you do to your hair?!” She exclaims, covering her mouth. Gold laughs with her.

 

“See! I told you, it looked ridiculous!” He adds in, pleased he’s not the only one who thinks it. Silver’s cheeks turn red as his hair and he narrows his eyes at them, mouth curling into a snarl.

 

“I despise you both so much. Mind your own business.” He spits out, standing up. Kris musters out an apology through her giggles and promises Silver it doesn’t look _that_ bad. It’s a total lie and he doesn’t look as though he believes it at all.

 

Gold and Kris both agree Silver is trying _way_ too hard to go for that ‘punk’ rebellious look. He tells them both where they can go.

 

They head off to go grab something for lunch with Silver sulking the entire way. That is, until Kris starts talking and they both listen to her go on and on about Sinnoh and the conferences and all the interesting people and Pokemon she met there. Gold gives her his full attention for once.

 

Pichu is ecstatic to reunite with her friend too. The restaurant they stop at is Pokemon friendly so he doesn’t mind if she runs around with Kris’ Pichu. They get in and he sits on the same side of the booth as Silver with Kris across from them and as she talks on, with their Pokemon running about and Silver still brooding over the insults, it feels, natural almost. Gold smiles as he sips his drink, feeling like he could get use to this.

 

* * *

 

_The three of them don’t become as chummy as Gold had hoped in the end._

_Silver goes back to being as distant as he was before. He barely warms up enough to hang around Gold during the daytime occasionally._

_Kris isn’t around much either. She stays home in New Bark Town to finish up her report on her contribution to the egg project._

_That’s okay. He sees her when he comes home to see his mom._

_Whitney bugs him often. Invites him to group hangouts that are too small to be parties._

_He never stays for long, even if they’re mild._

_Dates a few more girls. Breaks up with a few more. He’s too busy for a lot of them and none of them are interesting enough for him to really, really like._

_Which is cruel. But that’s just how it is._

_Still, he feels the most his age he has for a while._

_..._

_There’s another tournament in the fall._

_Silver places 15th. Gold places 3rd. Again._

_Green doesn’t place at all because she doesn’t show up. He doesn’t know when or if she’s coming back to Johto._

_A following tournament in the winter._

_Silver places 12th. Gold places 2nd. Getting better._

_After the tournament though, a woman with outrageously long blonde hair dressed in all black approaches him._

_She’s very pretty. Gold tries not to get worked up._

_She introduces herself as Cynthia, the Champion from Sinnoh. Asks him if he’d come help her investigate some rumors of legendaries within the Ruins of Alph._

_Gold hears her out, but politely declines._

_He’s decided to stay far away from legendaries and their shenanigans for a while. Maybe forever._

_Besides, this is the best he’s felt for a long time. He’s not ready to risk giving it up._

_Even if it is becoming more “normal”._

 

* * *

 

The seasons pass without much happening. Gold’s routine changes up a little. Hangs out with Silver more often, even if it’s pretty tense. He goes to the Battle Frontier a lot. Sees Kris and his mom on the weekends. Sometimes goes to parties Whitney and other trainers he’s come to know invite him too. Never stays for long. Usually ends up going on his own.

 

Once before it gets too cold, he went up to see Red. He won the first time they battled. Red seemed impressed.

 

He enters a few competitions. Wins most of them. They’re a lot easier than the tournaments.

 

Whenever he goes home he’s embarrassed by the sight of his trophies and medals in his room and pictures of him and his team from magazines hung up on the wall.

 

His mother insists that they should be there. He loses the argument.

 

Gold learns Silver’s kind of a weird guy. If the shaving half his head thing didn’t give it off.

 

Each time Gold leaves, Silver always stays at the Frontier. No matter what, he’s nearly always there or in Olivine. Gold wouldn’t think that was weird but he’s noticed he never hangs out with any of the trainers they’ve met unless Gold’s there too, and he’s quiet and awkward the entire time.

 

Some days Silver's laid back and okay. Some days he's competitive and distant. They still haven't battled one-on-one yet.

 

Gold’s been tempted more than a few times to ask why Silver never goes home. But then he remembers the stuff about his dad and is too afraid to think about his mom. So...he lets him be.

 

Green messages him with some interesting news the beginning of that spring.

 

There’s a tournament in Pewter City and she wants him to come try it with her. He agrees, obviously. He hasn’t seen Green since December when she came to Johto for a couple days for Kris’ birthday.

 

She loves to get on Gold’s nerves. And because it’s always intentional he isn’t exactly fond of her. But she’s a good trainer, so he likes her well enough.

 

They meet up in Viridian the day of qualifiers and head north. Gold ignores Green as she rambles on endlessly the entire trip up.

 

As they sign up for it, Gold recognizes a face in the crowd.

 

With a grin, he heads up to Blue, nudging him in his arm by his elbow. “Hey stranger! Too good to talk to me nowadays?”

 

Blue jumps a bit, then he snorts, brushing his hand through his hair smoothly. “Nope. You just talk too much.”

 

“Oh ain’t that ironic coming from you.” Gold jokes dryly. He hears footsteps coming over and knows it’s Green. Blue looks a bit uncomfortable.

 

Green doesn’t. “Wow, you’re actually going to battle something other little kids at the gym?” She jabs, sounding a lot less playful than Gold did before.

 

“Thought it would be fun. Sue me.” Blue shrugs, scratching the back of his head.

 

Gold senses some tension here. He shoots them both a look.

 

Green’s staring down Blue intensely. Blue looks at her bemused, but he can see the stiffness in his shoulders.

 

Gold clears his throat, saying, “Well, maybe we’ll see you around then, Blue.”

 

“Yeah, if you don’t lose. Until then.” Blue gives him a small wave. “Smell ya later!”

 

He heads off a little too quickly, even if he’s trying so hard to look cool. Gold watches him go, waiting until he’s gone to turn to Green for an explanation. She gives him one before he has to ask.

 

“We dated for a while after I left Johto.” She shrugs, twirling her hair around her finger.

 

“Oh.” Is all Gold gets out at first. No wonder it was so awkward. He can’t be in the same room as his ex-girlfriends for too long, either. “Why’d you guys break up then?”

 

Green gives a tiny snicker. If Gold looks hard enough he can maybe see some pink to her cheeks. “Uh. Well, let’s just say neither of us were...playing for the right team. For _us_ to work out, anyway.”

 

He stares at her dumbly, not getting what the hell she’s trying to imply.

 

She takes his cap off and lightly swats his head with it. “You’ll understand when you’re older, kiddo.”

 

“I’m barely younger than you.” He reminds her, annoyed, and snatches his hat back. It’s the same one he had since he was a kid and first became a trainer. He frowns. It’s so dirty and worn and old now, but even with its age he could never replace it.

 

When the tournament begins, he’s not as nervous as he was the other times. Maybe because this isn’t his home turf, so he doesn’t feel the need to try and impress people.

 

...Which somehow lands him in first place.

 

Green shouts threats at him that are just joking enough for her not to get arrested and Blue seems rather put out he lost to both Gold _and_ Green during it. Gold doesn’t care. He’s got what he wanted.

 

His name written in gold on a trophy. Now he just needs one from Johto to match.

 

God, winning feels so good.

 

* * *

 

_The next time Gold goes home, he’s over at the lab with Kris, messing around with some equipment he probably shouldn’t be._

_Kris has to scold him multiple times. He just laughs her off._

_Offhandedly, he mentions how he saw Green and Blue at the tournament in Kanto. Kris’ face brightens._

_She keeps asking how Green is. How she was doing, how she was battling. Gold answers her, but he doesn’t get what her deal is._

_He jokes about the fact that Green and Blue apparently dated._

_Kris seems bothered at first, until he mentions they broke up. She’s relieved._

_Gold honestly does not understand her sometimes._

_But he’s pretty clueless, to be fair._

 

* * *

 

It’s a pleasantly cool night in Olivine City. The entire city smells like sea breeze and just outside the city, stars light the night sky.

 

Gold’s glad he was able to convince Silver to come out so they could see it together.

 

They sit on a dock by the sea, with their shoes off and feet in the water. It’s far too chilly still to be doing this, but neither of them care. Feet aren’t important, anyway.

 

Silver’s been awful stressed about something lately. Gold doesn’t know what, but he gets the feeling.

 

He’s going to be sixteen in a couple months.

 

A kid, sure, but a kid old enough to be done with school and have a shitty job. And sixteen is just two years short of eighteen and well...

 

A lot is going to change then.

 

His mom keeps pestering him to come home and _stay_ home. She’s come to terms with the fact that he’s never going to have a “real” job, but she’s told him many, many times he needs to finish his schooling and start thinking of what he’s going to do to earn money in the future.

 

He doesn’t understand why she’s worried. He’s good at saving money, and with every tournament he ranks high enough there’s a cash prize.

 

But...well, she’s kinda got a point. He doesn’t want to do tournaments forever, even though they’re a lot of fun. And even if he’s still clutching to his dream of being a gym leader, that could be years away...

 

It’s a lot to worry about.

 

Pichu is asleep in his lap. He pets her as he gets lost in thought.

 

Silver speaks up suddenly.

 

“How much longer will you stick around here for, Gold?”

 

It catches him by surprise. Silver’s tone isn’t quite soft or harsh, but it’s low. He’s staring out at the sea before him. Likely thinking just as hard as Gold was.

 

He doesn’t really have an answer though. “I don’t know. Until I get bored. Why?”

 

“Mm.” Silver says, tapping his fingers against the dock. His brows are furrowed. “It’s on my mind. I don’t know if I really want to do this for much longer myself.”

 

“Oh. Why?”

 

“I’ve been thinking. All I really want to do is place first once and then go challenge the Elite Four and Lance. But after that I don’t exactly have a plan.”

 

“If it makes you feel any better, I don’t have one either.” Gold offers, trying to be sympathetic.

 

Silver laughs bitterly. His next words come out a bit harsh though his tone is playful, or at least trying to be. “Oh goodie, I’m on the same level of incompetence as you.”

 

“In-, excuse you!”

 

Gold shoots Silver a glare and Silver pulls the skin below his eye down and sticks his tongue out at him. It makes Gold roll his eyes.

 

The quiet doesn’t last, though. Silver keeps going.

 

“I’m serious though. I want to be the strongest, but I don’t know.” He says, picking at the skin around his fingernails, head tilted downward. “I’ve been driven by that for years now. And at some point, it feels like maybe I need to get realistic about things.”

 

Gold can relate, in a way. “I get where you’re coming from.”

 

“No, you don’t.”

 

There’s force in his words and Gold’s caught off guard by it. “What do you mean?”

 

Silver huffs. His picking gets more intense. “You’re already the strongest, probably. You’ve won how many things now? How many prizes?” He sneers, voice growing sour the more he goes on. “All these badges and trophies and just, _shit_. Everybody’s friend, everybody likes you. And you go home and you have all these wonderful things and people there to help you. Then you sit here and say you can understand me?”

 

The skin around Silver’s nail starts to bleed.

 

Gold doesn’t know what to say. He’s not sure if he should feel angry Silver’s sounding so accusatory or guilty for something he doesn’t know.

 

“I’m sorry?” Is all he manages. It comes out as lost as he feels.

 

“You would be.” Silver scoffs, rolling his eyes. Gold purses his lips.

 

“Maybe I can try to help you out.”

 

“You _can’t_.” Silver starts. He glares at Gold out of the corner of his eye. “I’m too far gone for anybody to step in. Did you know I don’t have a real trainer’s license? They needed an address, and I didn’t have one. I _don’t_ have one.”

 

For proof, Silver reaches into his jacket pocket and throws his trainer's card into Gold's lap. At first, he doesn't understand what he means. Then he notices the official seal on it doesn't reflect correctly in the moonlight. It's dull. A fake.

 

All these years and Gold's never noticed. Just like so many other things.

 

“Silv-“ Gold tries. Silver snaps at him.

 

“ _Let me finish_.” He warns, venom in his voice. Gold shuts up.

 

“I’ve been driven on hate for half my life now and I want it to _end_ Gold. I’m tired of always trying to be the best, because nobody else but me is going to be proud of me except me. You will _never_ understand how that feels. Because you have people around you to support you and a home to go back to with a mother who’s there.” Silver rants, his voice growing more crackly as he goes on.

 

He keeps scratching at the skin around his nails. Gold really wants to stop him.

 

“I have to figure out things by myself. And for once, I want to succeed and not have to be the only one who’s there.”

 

“I’m here.” Gold tells him weakly. Silver grits his teeth, nearly furious.

 

It was the wrong thing to say.

 

“We are not _friends_ , Gold. And I am not your charity case. Don’t pretend like we’re on good terms all of the sudden. You think you can say some preachy ‘feel-good’ bullshit and hang around me for a year and expect it to be better?”

 

Gold’s chest feels tight. A painful ache. “I thought it was better.”

 

“Yeah, you would.” Silver huffs, blowing hair out of his face. Before Gold can say more, Silver’s up and storming away, back towards the Battle Frontier. He didn’t even remember to grab his boots and socks before he left. His trainer card still lays in Gold's lap, in the same position it was flung there. A fake. He can't take his eyes off of the lifeless seal stamped on it.

 

Gold wishes he knew the right thing to say. But not for the first time, he’s at a loss.

 

* * *

 

_Silver finds him the next morning and apologizes._

_He says he was stressed and he took it out on Gold. Gold promises it’s okay and he’s not mad._

_Because he isn’t mad._

_..._

_He’s fucking worried._

_The dots start to connect and Gold’s already known some things. About Silver’s parents, about how he never has anywhere to go, about his quest for vengeance and for superiority._

_But he’s never realizes just what that **meant**. And how terrifying getting older must be when you’ve been on your own for god knows how long._

_Gold doesn’t know what to do but he’s got to come up with a plan quick. He has to do something._

_He always has to do something._

_..._

_He runs his plan over with his mom. Explains who Silver is, or rather, what his situation is._

_(He’s complained about his rival to his mom far too many times for her to not know)_

_Explains who his father is, and that Silver doesn’t know Gold knows._

_His mom is rightly horrified._

_They’re both bleeding hearts. But this time, it’s for a well-earned reason._

_Now, all Gold has to do is figure out how to put the plan into action._

 

* * *

 

 

Gold’s turning sixteen in May. And he’s caring less and less about his birthdays over the years, but for once this one does matter. A lot.

 

Or so he claims as he’s talking to Silver.

 

The redhead gives him a weird look as Gold goes on and on about how he wants all the people closest to him there for his party and how it’s important as hell Silver is there. He refrains from calling Silver his friend after he got his head bit off for it last time.

 

Silver doesn’t seem on board until Gold promises him cake. Reluctantly, and with a lot of sass and exasperation, Silver agrees.

 

Perfect.

 

Gold and his mom only have to sit on their plan for just under two weeks until the 21st rolls around. If Kris hadn’t slipped when Gold’s birthday actually was they could’ve done it right away.

 

Ah well, she meant the best. It gives them time to prepare.

 

When the day comes, there is no party. There are no people at his house. There is no celebration. There _is_ cake but it’s half-eaten in the fridge.

 

The moment he lands in town on his Crobat, Gold ushers Silver into his house. Already, Silver can tell something’s up.

 

“What is this, an intervention?” Silver says dryly as he heads inside, seeming confused at how empty and un-partylike it is. Gold’s mom is standing by the doorway, her hands folded in front of her politely.

 

When they don’t respond, Silver definitely figures out something’s amuck and tries to leave. Gold wraps his arms around him and drags him away from the door. Silver is a lanky little twig and no matter how he drags his feet Gold still manages to sit him down at the kotatsu. Gold’s mom sits across from him, offering a kind smile.

 

“Welcome inside Silver. Sorry you had to be rough handled like that.”

 

“Cut the act. What did he tell you.” Silver huffs, crossing his arms. Gold sits down next to him and Silver all but growls at him as he does.

 

Gold’s mom laughs quietly. “Right to the point then, okay. I’m not much for a show anyway.” She rests her elbow on the table and chin in her hand, looking thoughtful. “My son informed me of your...situation, let’s call it.”

 

“Of course he did.” Silver rolls his eyes. Gold gives him a sheepish grin.

 

Mom only raises an eyebrow as she continues. “We both share some concerns. And I have decided that because no other adult is going to look out for your safety, I am. From now on, you live here, and I’m going to make sure you grow up the rest of the way properly. And that’s that.”

 

For a moment, there’s an unreadable expression on Silver’s face. Then it turns to a sneer. “Tch. You think you have the right to do that because?”

 

Gold’s mom doesn’t flinch at the backtalk. Her smile grows sweeter. “You’re very close to my son, Silver. Or close enough, at least. And though this is our first meeting I know he cares for you as his friend, even if your past has been rocky.”

 

“An understatement.” Gold chimes in, cheeks flushing a bit from the embarrassing things that got slipped. His mother gives him a ‘be quiet’ look before turning her attention back to Silver.

 

“Look. You don’t have to stay here forever. You don’t even need to get along with me or my son. But somebody needs to look out for you. Once you turn eighteen, I know for a fact Pokemon Centers won’t let you stay overnight for free. Relying on prize money for income isn’t a solid idea either. You need an adult to be there to make sure you can get onto your feet.”

 

“I can take care myself just fine, thank you.” Silver huffs. Mom sighs and sits up, resting her hands on the table.

 

“You’re too young to get a job or an apartment without an adult signing off. And plainly, you don’t have someone to do that.” His mom tells him upfront. Gold watches something akin to hurt flash in Silver’s cold eyes. “If you don’t want to stay here until you’re eighteen, that’s fine. But you need to stay here until we can help you get your future sorted out and get you a proper place to stay..”

 

Silver isn’t completely convinced, but it seems like he’s getting worn down, slowly but surely. “And if I say no?”

 

Mom chuckles quietly. “Well, you’re already here aren’t you? We just won’t you leave until we’ve gotten everything together anyway.”

 

“Holding me captive? Classy.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Silver tries to glare down his mom in an effort to battle her without words, since that clearly wasn’t working. The compassionate calm doesn’t leave his mother’s face. Gold watches them duke it out without words, not wanting to get in the middle of it.

 

Before long, Silver is caving. “Fine.” He starts, voice hesitant. “I’ll...stay. But _only_ until I get my own place.”

 

“That’s all I could ask for.” Gold’s mom says, her relief obvious as she speaks. She stands up, helping Silver do the same.

 

Gold finally speaks. “We have an extra futon and you can stay in my room. My mom makes amazing burgers and there’s cake in the fridge like I promised. I don’t know what else you like but there’s that.” He babbles on. Silver looks at him annoyed.

 

“You set me up, you rat.”

 

“Hey man, I told you I’d help you out.”

 

Gold’s mom sighs quietly, shaking her head at Gold. “Help you friend get everything together and then we can have dinner, alright?”

 

“Yes Mom.”

 

She nods and begins heading towards the kitchen. Gold moves to lead Silver upstairs, until he notices Silver hasn’t even stood up yet.

 

There’s a troubled look on his face. His fists are clenched tight in his pants. For a moment, Gold worries he’s about to flip out on them, when-

 

“Uh, seriously though, thank you for your kindness, ma’am. I promise to behave and respect your rules while I’m here.” Silver speaks, standing finally. Gold’s mom turns to look at him just as Silver bows to her, only a little. Gold watches in surprise.

 

His mom looks taken aback for a moment, then she smiles. “Of course. Please don’t call me ma’am though, it makes me feel old.” She laughs softly. “You can call me Dani.”

 

“R-, right. Thank you.” Silver says quickly, cheeks a bit red. Gold relaxes and pats Silver’s back, before leading him upstairs to help him get settled in.

 

* * *

 

 

_Gold learns a few more things about Silver that night._

_The first is that he doesn’t have a lot of possessions. Silver tells him he has only one set of clothes to wear everyday and something to sleep in while he washes what he wore that day._

_It makes Gold’s chest ache a little. How did he not notice before. He never even carried around a bag._

_(When he asks later Silver says it kept getting stolen. Wasn’t worth the hassle._

_It doesn’t make Gold feel any less guilty for turning a blind eye.)_

_Silver at least has a toothbrush and razor on him too. Gold shows him the bathroom and lets him get ready for the night. In the meantime, he rolls out the futon for him._

_After he comes back in, Silver quietly sets his Pokeballs off on Gold’s desk and starts getting ready for bed. Gold does the same. Pichu curls up near Gold's pillow._

_Before he turns the light off, Silver thanks him as well. Apologizes again for yelling at him a while back._

_Gold tells him it’s okay and that all that matters is Silver’s here now._

_Silver seems like he wants more, but he doesn’t. So Gold turns the light off. And tries to sleep._

_..._

_Another thing that Gold learns is that Silver is a restless sleeper. And that he has nightmares, apparently._

_Gold hates how easy it is to figure out why._


	7. Alone Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This might be the end. I think I’m dying.”
> 
> “Then die quieter.”
> 
> In his peripheral vision, he can see Silver glaring at him for not playing along. And he might maybe be making an obscene gesture with his finger. Gold chooses to ignore it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW // There's some underage drinking this chapter, if that bothers you. Nothing too bad tho

In hindsight, inviting your childhood rival, who you’ve always struggled to get along with, to come live with you and your mom, who he doesn’t know, and share your bedroom and your life schedule, which proves much more complicated than anticipated, and expecting it all to go over perfectly might have been a really stupid idea. But Gold is full of stupid ideas. This is just one of many.

 

Silver doesn’t know how to behave around other people, let alone how to live with them. Gold doesn’t have to say this aloud for it to be so glaringly obvious.

 

The first week is embarrassingly rocky.

 

What makes it worse is that Silver is barely around for most of the days during that period and Gold _still_ makes an ass of himself. The first morning alone, he gets flustered and defensive over Silver harmlessly points out the baby pictures and battle spreads of Gold hung up on every wall.

 

The scolding he earns from his mom for being a brat and the judgmental side-eye Silver gives him during it is enough to make Gold want to crawl under his bed and die there.

 

His mom has to work that entire week-, well, most of it. Kris is busy with starting high school and he feels bad bugging her. So there’s no one to bridge the gap between him and Silver. His house isn’t that big either, with only one bathroom and cramped, closed-off rooms. By day two, Silver just ends up leaving in a huff to go explore the countryside around New Bark.

 

Fine by Gold.

 

Except it’s not because there’s something so frustrating about defeat. Especially this early on.

 

Actually, maybe it’s Gold that doesn’t know how to behave. Sure as fuck seems so.

 

He’s never exactly gotten along with his peers. Never had sleepovers as a kid. This is just as new to Silver as it is to him and it's kinda becoming a problem.

 

The minor things bother him more than Silver’s snark and the distance growing. How Silver wakes up so late, and stays up even later. How he tosses and turns in his sleep and how he brushes off sweet little Pichu whenever she tries to pester him for love. How he always seems to be in the bathroom or kitchen right as Gold needs to use them. How Gold still has to do schoolwork but it doesn’t seem like Silver’s attended school in years.

 

Tensions only get worse when Gold tries to convince Silver to let his Pokemon out of their balls to roam around. He gets a scoff in return and some bitter reply about how _his_ Pokemon aren’t farm animals meant to graze.

 

And then Silver has the nerve to insinuate something’s wrong with Gold for keeping Pichu as a pet and not training her. Because, “Trainers should be battling, not lying around spoiling their team all day”. Gold got so fed up he had to leave the house to cool down.

 

It’s seriously ridiculous, how quickly things spiral out of control. Gold got along with Silver well enough at the Battle Frontier, whenever they saw each other that is. It might've been baby steps but it finally felt as if _maybe_ they could be actual friends and move on from the bitter rivalry they had in their youth.

 

Recent events are really starting to prove otherwise.

 

Was it always this bad, Gold wonders. Was he just fooling himself into thinking things had gotten better?

 

God he hates drama.

 

When the weekend blissfully comes, Gold’s mom spares some mercy on her day off, insisting on taking Silver into town to buy him some more clothes and necessities. And although the redhead tries to get out of it, nobody says no to his mom.

 

Gold enjoys his day by going all the way to Goldenrod to hang out with some trainers he met at the Battle Frontier. He feels totally guilt-free messing around with them at the game corner they’re too young to be at, while poor Silver is likely feeling awkward as all hell being trapped with Gold’s mom all day. Sucks for him.

 

He returns home late that night to find his mostly empty dresser now filled with dark, tasteless clothes and the sound of the shower running. Gold’s mom greets him with a bit too much pep that tells him she did... _something_.

 

As Silver’s heading back downstairs to put his clothes in the laundry, Gold figures it out. Silver’s ridiculous half-shaved, half-long hairstyle has been buzzed a consistently short length. He asks the reason and Silver tries to brush him off by saying he wanted it to grow back even now, and it’s too hot in the summer anyway.

 

AKA, the old double excuse.

 

Gold knows his mom’s hated Silver’s hair the moment she laid eyes on him and probably talked him into getting it cut. It’s not that it looks bad, hell, it looks better than it did. Just...

 

Silver looks really similar to Giovanni wish his hair short like that. His face might have a teenage softness to it, riddled with skin-imperfections, sure, and he’s got bright red hair, but it’s a clear similarity.

 

Gold doesn’t say that though. It would be way too rude, not to mention it’d give away the secret Gold’s unwillingly kept for years now.

 

Besides, the air between them is tense enough as it is.

 

* * *

_Once again, Gold has to rely on Kris to solve his problems. Nothing new there._

_As June begins, Kris is in school of course, but she’s able to hang out more often. At first, it’s only Gold and her._

_(At Elm’s lab, obviously. Gold’s house is boring, and Kris’ mom and her sisters are...nosey, to say the least.)_

_But then she pops over one day after school. Pesters Silver until he agrees to watch TV with her. Gold doesn’t appreciate how she invited herself in like that, but he joins them._

_Kris and Silver love television, particularly supernatural dramas and anime whatevers. Gold would prefer being outside instead._

_Still, he stays in for them._

_Him and Silver find middle ground, slowly. It comes in the form of petty arguments of all things._

_They’ve always fought. And have been. But somehow, when it comes to Gold criticizing a show, and Silver venomously defending it, there’s less...bitterness to it._

_And they start squabbling with each other regularly. They fight more than they talk, really._

_Kris thinks it’s aggravating. Gold protests, stubbornly claiming it’s the only way they can stand each other._

_It’s really not that big of a deal. Neither of them have any real anger about it._

_Hell, Gold thinks Silver enjoys it. He does too. They’re both kinda like that by nature._

_They talk more now. The quiet tense is replaced with annoying bickering, but it works._

_It takes a bit longer, but Silver lets his Pokemon out of their balls. He doesn’t stay gone all day anymore. And if he gets antsy, he’ll reluctantly agree to a hike with Gold, or a trip to Cherrygrove with him and Kris._

_Filled with childish squabbling obviously, but it’s fun okay._

_Silver’s the only person that will argue with Gold and neither of them will take it personally. It’s...good._

_Gold still thinks TV is stupid. Silver thinks keeping a deformed Pichu as a pet is stupid._

_Some things change. But others don’t._

_So be it._

 

* * *

 

Summertime is probably Gold’s favorite time of the year. Even if it is hot as balls out, he would happily die of heat stroke out in the middle of the woods than sit around at home all day, firmly in front of a fan, complaining the entire time.

 

Silver and Kris don’t share the same sentiment.

 

Kris can stand the heat a lot better than Silver can, but she’s so busy with her ‘normal person’ life that she has absolutely no time to spare for him during the day. So naturally, that means he’s got to turn to Silver to hang out with.

 

But despite having been on a Pokemon journey himself, Silver seems to prefer staying indoors most days, catching himself up on TV dramas and trashy talk shows. Sure he’s down to train with Gold on the weekends, but that’s not enough. No no no.

 

Especially when it makes God realize a very odd point. They haven’t once battled since Silver beat him at the league ages ago.

 

They got so wrapped up with tournaments and the Battle Frontier that they never bothered for a rematch. Gold’s not having it. No, he's not bitter about losing to Silver, but there is no way he’s never going to battle him again.

 

So he hatches a plan, as he likes to do. A way to surely convince Silver into seeing the fun as well as the benefits of training against each other, as well as make it kinda special.

 

The only downside is how far they’ll have to walk to get to where Gold wants to go, but that’s fine. He makes sure to pick a fairly nice day out to do this, and relies on his gift of talking people into things.

 

(Which boils down him telling Silver he has a surprise idea for him, and for him to follow Gold.

 

It’s genius.)

 

Gold’s house is way on the outskirts of town, so walking out to the hills and forests surrounding New Bark Town takes about five minutes flat. But he plans on heading out further, towards a place he scoped out the last time they walked around this area together.

 

Behind him, he hears Silver trudging along, griping about the heat and the walk the entire way.

 

Not much time passes before Gold has to slow his pace to match Silver’s, who uses the opportunity to complain at him directly. And then try to argue that Gold’s going the wrong way, as if he hasn’t lived here his entire life.

 

Pichu sprawls herself out on top of Gold’s cap, soaking in the sun. He tries not to jerk his head around too much while he yells at Silver.

 

...Yelling is a strong word. It’s more like, loudly talking. Silver’s closer to yelling, really.

 

He has to put up with the entire way. At some point they derail into arguing over the logistics behind Legendary Pokemon existing. What’s stupid is that both of them know next to nothing, yet still insist they’re right.

 

But screw it, Gold’s met more legendaries and seen _way_ more movies on them. He absolutely knows so much more about the topic despite how Silver keeps trying to act like he does.

 

No surprise there.

 

It takes maybe an hour to get to where Gold wanted them too, which for him is pretty bad time. But to his credit, it's quite humid out and at one point they stopped walking solely to yell at each other, so maybe it’s not so bad.

 

The area around them is surrounded by trees, but where they stand is in a clearing of tall grass, spanning the diameter of a few city blocks. There’s the slight slope of hills, but nothing too extreme. And although the sun now beats directly down onto them in an agonizing heat, there’s a reason Gold wanted here of all places.

 

Silver looks at him, demanding an answer for why the hell he got dragged out here. And the answer probably isn’t going to be satisfying, but Gold proudly tells it anyway.

 

“I’ve decided, the best way to train Pokemon is through battles. And we haven’t done that in forever.” He explains. “So what better time than now?”

 

For a moment, Silver gawks at him, mouth open in wordless shock. Gold has enough sense in him to start stepping back before Silver tries to attack him or something.

 

Though he stays puts, his rival really does look ready for murder.

 

“Are you kidding me?!” He yells, making an exasperated hand motion. “You insisted we go out into the middle of nowhere, on the hottest day of the damn year, just to _battle?!!”_

The tone Silver’s giving him is not appreciated. Nor the exasperation.

 

“Okay first off, stop being dramatic, it’s only barely hotter than average.” Gold huffs. He instinctively reaches to fix his cap, waking up Pichu in the process. “Second, look around okay. This area is great for battling, and sure it’s a little way out but that also means we don’t have to restrain ourselves.”

 

“Little way- are you stupid? Honestly. Never mind! I already know the answer.” Silver scoffs and rolls his eyes. Gold narrows his at his rival in offense.

 

“Look, I’m trying to do something nice here-“

 

“Then maybe you should have bought me dinner instead of dragging me out here!”

 

“Are you asking me on a date?”

 

“You wish!”

 

Gold can’t help but grin and snicker at their banter. Silver doesn’t share the sentiment, the angry scowl not leaving his face.

 

He waves his hand at the redhead dismissively. “Okay look, we’re already out here. We might as well battle, yeah? Otherwise it’s just a waste of time.”

 

“You’re already a waste of time.” Silver jabs with little effort to it. He might still look annoyed, but he seems to be resigning to the idea.

 

So Gold continues. He explains his full idea is they should come out here every now and then, to really, really battle, letting their Pokemon use their full power and potential. As long as they’re careful, of course. And that to switch it up, they should do two sets of three vs. three, just for fun.

 

As he’s getting to that part, Silver cuts him off. He seems much calmer now, if now only agitated by the heat.

 

He looks perplexed as he asks, “...Exactly how many Pokemon do you have on you?”

 

Gold gives him a dumb grin. Oh right. There was only one way this could’ve really worked and let him keep Pichu the entire time.

 

“Seven.”

 

Silver raises an eyebrow, snorting. “Wow, what a rule breaker.”

 

“Only if I get caught. You think cops are patrolling around the boonies here?”

 

“You could potentially lose your trainer permit if you were to get caught.” Silver taunts matter-of-factly, sounding way too much like Kris. “I wouldn’t think you’d be so careless.”

 

“Says you! You don’t have one to begin with.”

 

“Touché.”

 

Gold hums and cocks his cap a bit, Pichu taking the cue to perch herself on his shoulder and spark her cheeks. Utterly harmless, of course, but they’ve been working on trying to up the coolness they bring to a battle. He waits for Silver’s answer.

 

There’s a tight frown on Silver’s face and he looks incredibly annoyed. So much so for a brief moment it seems he might launch into another bitchfest.

 

But he caves, giving a reluctant sigh and flipping his non-existent hair out of his face, offering an indifferent shrug. “Fine, I guess. I could always the practice.”

 

His voice is a pleasant chill on such a hot day. Refreshing, almost. Gold grins and pulls out a Pokeball. Silver does the same, doing some sort of pose briefly before he calls out his Pokemon.

 

He has no idea when they started posing, but they do it a lot better than they did as preteens.

 

There’s a positive to Gold coming all the way out here, and it’s that they both can let their Pokemon go all out with little room for consequences. Even Typhlosion releasing a massive column of fire doesn’t do much more than torch the tall grass around them and scare some Pidgey into flying off.

 

Very little is more breathtaking than seeing Pokemon battling with the fullest of their capabilities. Though Gold has his focus firmly on commanding his team, he spares a few moments to be in awe of the sight of it all.

 

He’s been working on communicating with his Pokemon through only movements and whistles out on the battlefield. It ups his strength as a trainer; when you can’t hear what he commands, he becomes a lot harder to read. And in return, Gold’s become more observant towards other trainers and learned to rely on body language over words alone.

 

Likewise, he picks up on Silver very quickly. But to his credit, his rival has been working on his own non-verbal type of instructions.

 

His rival has come so far, from a bratty, bad-tempered child to a slightly less bad-tempered, collected teenager. Gold can see how he’s moved from yelling at his Pokemon to communicating with them, as if they’re connected.

 

The subtle flicks of his wrist as his Pokemon glance back at their trainer, or the twitch in Silver’s brow that let’s Gold know how agitated he is. How Silver can call out one-word commands that his Pokemon understand, but Gold doesn’t.

 

Despite all these years, Silver remains such an offense-oriented trainer, despite his attempts to boost his defense strategies. Gold takes care of it easy.

 

Or, so he figured. Their first battle, he ends up losing. He notes an all-out offense strategy is rarely the smartest; that is, unless you have the raw power and technique to back it up like Silver does.

 

But Gold’s smarter the second round, adapting to be more careful about making sure his Pokemon dodge fast enough to counter back.

 

And the second time, he wins.

 

By the end, both him and Silver are even sweatier and more exhausted than they were beforehand. Gold tries to go give Silver a congratulatory high-five and instead gets socked in the arm. Silver doesn’t resort to direct hands-on violence much anymore, but when he does boy does it hurt.

 

He gives his rival a sad pouty expression. Silver just glares.

 

“You idiot. Now we’re out here in the middle of nowhere, and we have to walk all the way back!” He spits venom at Gold and-, actually spits a little. Gross.

 

Gold rolls his eyes and hands Silver a bottle of water he brought in his bag. “Relaaaax. It’s an hour tops, we can go slow.”

 

“When we get there, I’m going to kick your ass.”

 

An empty threat, but Gold whines on as if it’s a legitimate one. Pichu happily butts her head against his cheek, and he gives her some well-earned scratches. Not for battling or anything, obviously, but for being such a cutie and playing along with the show.

 

Silver makes it about halfway home before he finally sits on the ground and crosses his arms, refusing to walk any further. Gold mocks him for acting like such a child.

 

And just as a child, in order to even get home Gold ends up needing to piggyback Silver the rest of the way.

 

Despite only being a smidge shorter than Gold is, Silver feels so much lighter than he expected. He had to have his arms wrapped around Gold’s neck for support and Gold really is surprised he never tried to choke him out along the way.

 

Maybe it would be a mercy, so he wouldn’t have had to listen to Silver still trying to pick a fight with him. Gold was too tired and strained to jab back.

 

He’ll admit to himself that okay, maybe it was stupid to walk this far while it was so damn hot. And maybe next time they should bring healing items to restore they’re flying Pokemon to save some trouble. But hey! Not everything goes perfect the first time.

 

Gold pays for the error, though.

 

By the time they get home it’s sunset and his mom is thoroughly pissed at the state they’re in. Sweaty and dirty and just all kinds of nasty.

 

And because Silver’s now the favorite child or something, he of course gets the first shower. Which is garbage in Gold’s opinion, since y'know, he’s the one who had to carry him. Figures.

 

But he considers today mostly fun. And when Silver comes back outside after a while, as Gold’s Pokemon are out of their balls once more as he works on healing them, he asks if they could do it again next weekend.

 

So Gold knows that even if he bitched about it the entire time, and even with his snarky voice and seemingly distant disposition, Silver did have fun. And that’s what he was going for. Because nobody else but Silver gets just how exciting battling really can be.

 

* * *

 

_His rival is sorta a tough nut to crack._

_Gold’s definitely not into hugs or cuddling or anything like that, obviously, but he does like touch in general._

_Patting heads, grabbing arms, playful slaps. It feels natural._

_But Silver is clearly very opposed to touching. Or at least, he's not used to it. He won’t even smack Gold with anything but a magazine._

_Naturally, he’s gotta break down some walls._

_Slowly, he’s able to pat Silver on the back. Then his head. Then mess up his hair to irritate him._

_Silver’s usually put a few feet in between them while they watch TV together._

_So Gold moves closer, and closer, very slowly. Just enough so he can kick his legs up on Silver’s lap without getting them thrown off._

_The best thing happens, finally, when Gold gets caught eating some leftover candy Silver bought last time they went into town._

_Silver jumps him from behind and tackles him to the floor. A noisy bout of roughhousing ensues._

_It’s stupid fun; Gold’s always loved this kind of rowdy but playful altercation._

_He hasn’t really done anything like this since his playground days, when..._

_~~Problem child.~~ _

_...he was younger._

_The first time it happens, Gold naturally overpowers Silver and wins. But Silver gets the upper hand next time Gold instigates by stealing his food._

_He pins Gold to the ground with a triumphant laugh, sitting on Gold’s legs to hold him down. Then moves to his chest to hold his arms down with his knees so he can steal his snack back._

_Gold doesn’t know why he doesn’t immediately push Silver off. Why...something starts to stir inside him._

_~~He knows. But he doesn’t like what it is.~~ _

_Guess Silver wins this time._

* * *

 

Late September brings about one of the most uncharacteristically hot days of the entire year. A sudden heat wave; summer’s last sucker punch to an unsuspecting populous. It’s far too hot to go outside. Too hot to train their teams (Gold’s put half his team in their balls. Same with Silver), and too hot to do anything, really.

 

Gold’s room hums with no less than three fans going. Their ancient AC’s broke down from an entire summer’s worth of work and his mom’s been too busy to call someone to fix it. Personally? Gold doesn’t care. He’s doing just fine.

 

But Silver will not stop bitching about it.

 

He’s got two of the three fans blowing directly on him as he watches one of Gold’s favorite childhood action movies on his room’s TV. It’s a bit of a distracting invitation, with Gold trying to do his homework, but it's not nearly as distracting as Silver’s complaints are. They're giving him a headache.

 

“This could easily be the worst thing I’ve ever experienced.” Silver gripes, fanning himself with a spare magazine. Gold spares him a quick, annoyed glare from where he sits at his desk.

 

“Good. Shut up.”

 

“This might be the end. I think I’m dying.”

 

“Then die quieter.”

 

In his peripheral vision, he can see Silver glaring at him for not playing along. And he might maybe be making an obscene gesture with his finger. Gold chooses to ignore it.

 

He keeps writing, trying to figure out a far-too complicated math problem. Kris is at class, so she can’t possible help him right now. Which blows. Deep down, Gold lets his curiosity wonder if he stayed in school, would they be in the same class right now? Same grade? If he bothered to catch up, hadn’t freaked out after he went back when he was 13, how different would things have been?

 

They’re stupid questions, but he really does ponder sometimes. He’s so close to being able to drop out right now. Just half a year’s work away, and then he can finally be _done_.

 

Which is terrifying. Being done with something always brings about the question, ‘what next?’. It's something Gold never is ready to answer.

 

His pencil breaks. He curses under his breath and reaches over the fan-hogging Pichu on his desk to sharpen it. He sticks it in the electric sharpener, and-

 

Darkness.

 

The power goes out with a weak hum. The fans die down and the TV turns off with a buzzing noise. Silver yells an agonized cry and flops back, sounding so convincingly as if he’s in danger Gold can hear Silver’s Feraligatr freaking out and scratching at the back door. Silver calls out a defeated, “I’m fine, shut up.” to him to calm him down.

 

Gold already feels the room starting to heat up. Listen, he can manage the summer heat, as long as he has fans. But without?

 

Yeah they’re gonna die.

 

With a groan he returns Pichu to her ball before she gets heat stroke and slides to the semi-cool wood floor. He grabs another magazine from the floor and starts fanning himself like Silver is.

 

Silver shoots him an agitated look. “You’re the reason it went out, aren’t you? I’m going to strangle you.”

 

Gold snorts. “Put me out of my misery then, loser.”

 

“I would, but it’s not worth the effort.”

 

“Wow. Sounds like a coward’s words to me.”

 

Silver scowls at him and rolls his newspaper up, having to lean forward to swat Gold’s leg with it. It doesn’t hurt, just makes him snicker. Which in turn only makes Silver’s expression nastier.

 

The power kicks on within a few minutes, blissfully. Both Gold and Silver let out loud sighs of relief as the fans begin blowing air on them once more. The TV boots up to a blue screen as it tries to read the DVD inside. Outside, he hears the AC unit try and fail to start. What a shame.

 

Gold should probably get back up to his desk and get back to work, but the floor is so comfortable. Silver’s sitting again, positioning the fans back on him. The breeze feels nice, so Gold scooches closer.

 

Silver shoots him a scowl, but ignores him in favor of the movie coming back on. Gold can’t help but join him. It’s a cheesy jungle-adventure, chasing legendaries movie he loved as a kid,  but it's just ridiculous now.

 

He still likes it.

 

“Y’know.” Gold starts to say, not even realizing he’s speaking his wandering mind. “When I was younger, I really wanted to be an explorer.”

 

“That’s pretty stupid.” Silver comments with a snort. Gold only shrugs.

 

“It was.” He agrees. “But it would’ve been cool.”

 

“I guess.”

 

“What about you?”

 

A raised eyebrow. Silver turns to look at him. “What about me.”

 

“What did you want to be. As a kid, when you grew up. Y’know?” Gold tries to explain.

 

His rival doesn’t look very impressed by what the topic is. It shows in his expression, his voice, his everything. “I don’t know. I didn’t really think of anything until I left home. Wanted to be strong, I guess.”

 

“Stupid.” Gold says quietly. Silver nods in agreement.

 

They’re silent for a moment, the only noise being from the movie and the fans and the sounds of their Pokemon moping around outside. There’s a question on Gold’s mind, and he probably shouldn’t risk asking it. But things have gotten better, sorta, so maybe he won’t get his head bit off for asking?

 

Regardless, he treads with caution. Asks only, “Where are you from, Silver?”

 

It’s likely a touchy subject, knowing what Gold knows. But even though Silver’s already agitated from the humidity and heat, he doesn’t do more than give an annoyed huff at the question.

 

“Tch. You’re nosey suddenly, aren’t you?” Silver grumbles, switching to a different magazine to fan himself. “I grew up in Kanto, I guess.”

 

“Huh.” Gold kinda figured that much. “But where in Kanto?”

 

Silver rolls his eyes. “Isn’t that good enough?” Gold shakes his head, so reluctantly Silver continues. “Fine. I lived in Viridian City, most of the time.”

 

“Most of the time?”

 

“Yeah. Spent the summers in Cinnabar. We had a holiday home there. Big ass place”

 

Gold’s thoroughly curious now. It seems like he’s finally gotten a start on unraveling Silver’s mysterious, not-so-mysterious identity. “No kidding? My mom lived in Cinnabar, when she was a kid.”

 

“Oh. That’s why she talks like that.” Silver looks a bit surprised. Gold bristles, not understanding the implication. His question goes unasked as Silver waves him off dismissively.

 

“Different accents. You have a distinct Johto-ben. I was wondering why she didn’t.”

 

It sounds vaguely like an insult. He treats it as one. “What does that mean!”

 

“It's less sophisticated than if you were from Kanto, or even from the city. Basically, and no offense, you sound like a hick. Kind of.” Silver tells him bluntly.

 

“I do _not_.”

 

“Be quiet.”

 

Gold wants to protest, but before he can, Silver asks him, “Dani’s from Cinnabar then?”

 

“Don’t use my mom’s actual name.” Gold groans, rubbing his forehead. Silver ignores his whining.

 

“It makes sense. How’d she get to Johto then?”

 

“Oh look who’s nosey now.”

 

His leg gets smacked with a rolled-up magazine. Gold snickers, swatting Silver back. It nearly turns into an all-out smackdown.

 

“Answer my question.” Silver tries to redirect. Gold will oblige him, this time.

 

It’s kinda a weird direction to go in. But he supposes he should talk about himself before he’d be able to pester Silver into doing the same. That’s just how his rival is.

 

So he complies. “Her parents moved to Violet City when she was like, twelve I think. Maybe. It’s why she likes it there so much.”

 

“Ah.” Silver nods. He looks thoughtful, almost. “And your dad, then?”

 

“Dude.” Gold protests. Silver’s not phased.

 

God, it’s not as if Gold doesn’t know, or he’s embarrassed or anything like that. It’s just...a bit of a sore subject. He’s grateful his mom isn’t around to hear, at least...

 

He feels nervous talking about it. Which is a stupid reaction. He scooches back and leans against his now shared dresser and flips the pages of the magazine. Silver watches him, eyes piercing, waiting for an explanation.

 

“Don’t know much about him. He sorta took off before I was born.”

 

“Oh.” Is all he gets in response. He keeps talking anyway.

 

“Yeah. Mom wasn’t even 20 yet, I don’t think. Uh...” He scratches the back of his head. This is...where it gets harder. “Yeah I don’t really know what happened. Things got pretty bad between my mom and her parents. I met them a few times when I was real young I think, but that’s really it. They haven’t talked in years I’m pretty sure.”

 

“That’s too bad.” Silver comments quietly.

 

Gold only shrugs. “It is what it is. Nothing I can do.”

 

“Mn.” Silver stops fanning himself, narrowing his eyes at Gold. He used to mistake that as a glare, or a leer, but lately he’s come to understand that it’s just the redhead thinking.

 

Finally, the thought comes. Sighing, Silver asks, “Great, now I probably have to talk about my parents, huh?”

 

“If you want.” Gold tries to sound casual. Calm. Instead of dying to know, like he actually is.

 

Silver purses his lips and turns his head to the side. There’s no curtain of red hair to hide behind this time.

 

“I’m not talking about my dad.” He starts, tone sour. “All you need to know is he sucks and he was the worst. I’ll happily live out the rest of my life never thinking about that waste of a person ever again.”

 

He finishes sounding more bitter than he started. Gold is fine with it. He already knows about his dad, to an extent.

 

“That’s okay.” He nods, crossing his arms. God, it’s so fucking hot out.

 

Silver takes in a deep breath. “This is weird to talk about, but I guess I’ll give you the basics. Uh. My parents were loaded. Didn’t see much of my dad growing up, it was mostly my mom. Then she died when I was around five, and I still didn’t see my dad. Then everything fell apart,  and I left home a few years later. The end.”

 

Ah, there it is. Somehow even though Gold already knew what to expect, his heart aches anyway. “Silver, I’m so sorry-“

 

Silver cuts him off with an irritated groan. “Ugh. Don’t pity me. You know I hate that shit.”

 

“Right, right. Sorry.”

 

It doesn’t feel quite right. The mood is too somber suddenly; Gold can’t stand it. He doesn’t imagine Silver’s too fond of it either.

 

So he changes the subject, kinda. “So why’d you get stuck with a shitty name like ‘Silver’?”

 

His rival scoffs. “Like you’re one to talk.”

 

“That’s not an answer!” Gold teases, sticking his tongue out. Silver rolls his eyes before he speaks.

 

“My mom said it's because my eyes reminded her of the moon. And somehow that equates to ‘silver’. She was...weird.” He says, quiet now, his eyes downcast. There’s a hint of a smile on his lips. “She loved space, the stars, all of that.”

 

“That’s sweet.” Gold smiles too. Silver’s quickly turns to a scowl.

 

“Shut up.” He starts to fan himself with the magazine again. “What about your garbage excuse of a name.”

 

“No idea. I think my mom just liked the name.”

 

He doesn’t know why, but he laughs. And Silver laughs too.

 

Their amusement quickly gets interrupted with the sound of the front down opening and closing and Gold’s mom calling out for them. She asks if Gold did the laundry like he was supposed to.

 

He curses and makes a mad dash downstairs to do it. Behind him, he swears he hears Silver laughing again.

 

* * *

 

_Silver’s birthday is at the end of November. Gold never knew this before now._

_Gold’s mom pries it out of Silver and insists on giving Silver the same treatment as she gives Gold. Birthday dinner in Violet City, a cake, presents. A cell phone too. All the good stuff._

_Silver seems very flustered by it. Gold wonders when the last time someone gave a shit about his birthday even was._

_Gold has his own gifts too. DVDs and a week-long trip to the Battle Frontier. Silver seems to enjoy it more than his mom’s present, but he doesn’t say so if he does._

_The more time Gold spends with Silver, the more he grows on him. They still speak pretty much solely in arguments, but there’s much more laughing and teasing involved now._

_Silver has...a nice laugh._

_..._

_There’s this girl that Gold likes._

_He met her in the Frontier a while back. She’s got bright hair and sharp eyes and an even sharper tongue. A great battler, a witty sense of humor. She checks all Gold’s boxes._

_(He has a type, he’s figured out.)_

_He’s sorta got a reputation for going through girls. They’re just not interesting most of the time._

_But this one is._

_She’s not fazed by Gold’s fame and his skill and his way with words. They have a banter going on he really enjoys._

_But she also reminds him of someone else. Someone else, who is more similar to her than he even knows._

_Gold’s no fool. He’s known for a while he might not exclusively like girls._

_Just as he knows when he’s getting feelings for someone._

_Someone he shouldn’t be._

_Like many other things, Gold is not going to acknowledge it. Not going to acknowledge the warmness in his chest, or the jitter in his body, or the affection he feels._

_It will never end well._

_..._

_He asks the girl out, in the smoothest way possible._

_It might not be the smartest to throw himself into yet another relationship, but this time he really does have intent to stick around._

_And she agrees too._

_She’s someone he can lovingly focus his attention towards, instead of towards the embarrassing epiphany yet to fully be realized._

_While he’s boasting about it, Silver just raises an eyebrow and tells him he doesn’t care in a bored voice. Gold can’t imagine why he would._

_But Gold cares. Too much. And if he doesn’t stop, he’ll get carried away._

_So he pushes it down. And cares about her instead._

 

* * *

 

Having a semi-stable relationship turns out to be so much of a rewarding experience that Gold can’t believe he never tried doing it before. Or, well okay, tried harder to make his past relationships work.

 

Everything about his girlfriend is totally amazing. They have so many mutual friends that Gold only has to introduce her to Silver and Kris, who are both recluses so it doesn’t entirely matter. Gold doesn’t feel guilty leaving them behind so often, since whenever he comes home they’re always watching TV at his house like the shut-ins they are. It’s all so perfect.

 

She’s also cool with going to parties with him, even if his exes are there. Gold’s never realized how many bridges he’s burned until he’s there with her, (seriously, did he really date that many girls?), but she always keeps a cool disposition.

 

He’s in a perma-good mood from that point on. Full of love and happiness and he barely remembers any of the completely non-existent feelings he was feeling before.

 

He’s doing so well he thinks he's totally justified trying to hook up his two closest friends up with a partner of their own. He’s got a long list of contacts after all, and so does his girlfriend. There will be no rest until his two antisocial weirdos find someone that makes him feel as happy as he does right now.

 

...God, this sugary sweet joy is so fake.

 

Gold’s girlfriend calls him out on it and tells him to knock it off. Affection is fine. Faking sappiness isn’t.

 

Gold loves her so much. Calling him out on his shit.

 

Like someone else...

 

...

 

Right, back to Silver and Kris.

 

Kris pales the minute he just suggests finding her someone to date and immediately shuts it down. She goes so far as to snatch his Pichu from him and forcibly remove him from the lab for the entire day.

 

Suffice to say, she’s someone he’ll have to wear down.

 

And it’s not as if Silver’s much more open to it. But he has to stay and put up with it, since Gold’s waited until it was just them alone in his room, and Pichu was happily snoozing in Silver’s lap, effectively trapping him. He might claim to not like her, but even he’s not evil enough to move her.

 

It’s a genius move on Gold’s part. He plops down across from Silver and begins explaining his brilliant idea to him. There’s a grimace on the redhead’s face, and he looks utterly bored with everything Gold says. But he never says no. The only thing he ever asks is, with a hint of amusement in his otherwise snide tone, “Since when did you decide to play matchmaker?”. Gold ignores him.

 

Other than that, he just offers a shrug after Gold asks if it’s okay to try. So he keeps talking.

 

He’s kinda got a girl in mind for Silver going into this. She’s dark and moody, with an icy cool disposition and a taste for black clothes, similar to his rival. And if he doesn’t like her, well, there’s other girls Gold knows. He’s not totally against suggesting a girl Gold’s dated before, though that’s a bit iffy. Whatever will work.

 

He launches into an enthusiastic description of the lady he’s leaning towards for Silver. He gets cut off right away.

 

His rival’s brows are furrowed down with irritation, a tight frown on his face as he raises his hand up.

 

“I’m going to stop you right there.”

 

Gold quiets mid-sentence and stares at Silver, mouth still open. Silver looks highly bemused. Gold makes a motion to wordlessly ask what the problem is.

 

It only serves to have Silver roll his eyes. “I don’t want a girlfriend, idiot.”

 

“Oh.” Gold blinks at him a few times, feeling clueless. “Why?”

 

He sees Silver’s shoulders tense and his expression stiffen. Gold offers him no relief, staring him down with the most intensity he can manage, waiting for his rival to give in and talk.

 

It doesn’t take long.

 

Silver’s posture slacks and he crosses his arms with a haughty huff, turning his head away, nose tilted upwards. His cheeks are tinted red. “I don’t... _like_ women. That’s all.”

 

Huh.

 

Something about that should’ve been more obvious to Gold, but these types of things always seem to go over his head unless someone directly points it out. As with Green and Blue forever ago.

 

Either way, he doesn’t care. He gives Silver a shrug. “Okay, I’ll find you a boyfriend then.”

 

Silver gawks at him. He’s speechless for a hesitant moment.

 

“What.”

 

“Yeah, I think I could find someone. I might know somebody that’s really good-“ Gold starts, ready to pull out his Pokegear to scroll through his contacts, before he gets interrupted once again.

 

“It’s just that easy? That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say about it?”

 

He raises an eyebrow at Silver’s exasperated, near-frustrated tone. “Yeah? What were you expecting.”

 

“More of a reaction than, _that_.”

 

His rival’s face is flushed and his face is scrunched up with displeasure. Gold doesn’t see what his problem is, but he’ll indulge him.

 

Completely sarcastically, of course.

 

“Congratulations on liking guys, then. I like guys too. Join the fucking club, we’ll through you a party.” Gold says with a bit too much annoyance as he rolls his eyes. “Satisfied? Let’s move on.”

 

“Humph. You’re such an asshole.” Silver grumbles, pouting his lip ever so slightly.

 

“It’s what I’m good at.” Is all he’ll offer to end this conversation before Gold moves onto an overly detailed explanation of each available bachelor he knows of. What they’re like, what kind of trainer they are, what they look like. The entire time, Silver constantly looks uninterested and distracted.

 

Maybe there’s something he wants to say, but every time Gold pauses to let the redhead offer any input, he says nothing.

 

Silver seems reluctant to decide, but eventually he does agree to Gold setting him up on a date with one of the guys Gold’s told him about. A nice dude, who Gold just personally wasn’t into. Not that he's ever actually been with a guy, but...whatever. This one’s easy to get along with, so that might be good for Silver.

 

It’s a group hangout, with Gold and his girlfriend and this guy and a few other friends. Silver too, obviously. It seems it could work, it really does.

 

But Gold’s made a miscalculation:

 

He underestimated just how distant and closed-off Silver actually is. How he barely talks to the guy, just taps away at his phone and looks bored. Gold almost feels bad for his poor friend.

 

Gold had honestly forgot that Silver was like that. Never realized just how long it took him to open up, even a little.

 

How they’ve continued speaking only through arguments.

 

...Yeah, it’s safe to say it doesn’t work out.

 

But Gold’s not giving up. He never gives up; he just has to try harder to find a better match.

 

And maybe, if Silver gets in a relationship, Gold can finally tie off any remaining hints of feelings he might have for him. Because though he’s got a girlfriend and she’s amazing in every single way possible, something just...still seems off.

 

Gold really hopes he’s not about to make any stupid mistakes, doing what he’s doing.

 

* * *

 

_Kris’ birthday happens within weeks of Silver’s._

 

_He’s gotten her a new bag and some sweets she likes. Some for her Pokemon too. It’s kinda lame, but he sucks at gift-giving._

_Well, okay yeah, he can shop for Silver, but it’s different when you live with someone._

_You...learn a lot about them, is all._

_It’s weird, them all being the same age now. Gold prefers always feeling as though he has at least some superiority over them on that front. May can’t come soon enough._

_Him and Silver spend maybe an hour at Kris’ house for her family-mandated birthday party before they take off for Goldenrod._

_The Department Store is crawling with teenagers like them. They fit right in._

_...Even if none of them look like the type to be friends with each other._

_(A jock, a goth and a nerd walk into a mall...)_

_Green shows up, which comes to a surprise to no one other than Kris. And unsurprisingly, after Green shows up, Kris totally ditches them._

_Walking around the Department Store with just Silver is...weird. Neither of them are particularly “material” people so they end up wandering around aimlessly._

_It’s a bit hard to bicker while you’re in public. Mostly because they’d seem like utter jackasses._

_So they...talk. Gold ends up leading the conversation mostly, commenting on whatever they see and come across._

_Goes to stores where his girlfriend’s taken him before and babbles on about whatever she showed him there._

_Talks about the new Pokegear models and what features they can do. Rambles about the unfair quality of Department Store bought poffins._

_Silver puts in the bare amount of effort with dry comments and nasty quips._

_It sure is something._

_..._

_Gold’s never been good at minding his own business, clearly. And not even his own mother gets out of it._

_He’s been nosing himself into people’s lives lately. He might as well tell her what’s been on his mind for months now._

_While he’s helping her with dinner one night, he politely suggests that maybe she should make up with her parents._

_And naturally gets his head bit off for it._

_It’s a lot of ‘Since when are you my parent’ and ‘I just think it’s been long enough’ back and forth and back and forth until Gold gives up and surrenders his side. There’s literally no winning with her._

_But then Silver tries later on, after Gold’s vented his frustrations to him in their room._

_And even if Silver is standoffish and a total jerk, he’s much more articulated than Gold is._

_The holidays are coming up, so his mom agrees to sending her parents a card. An explanation. An apology._

_An attempt at repairing the damage from all these years._

_Funny how she listens to Silver. Guess he’s the favorite child now._

_He needs it more than Gold does, anyway._

 

* * *

 

Green talks Gold into coming with her to compete in one of Kanto’s tournaments that winter. She had offhandedly mentioned it back on Kris’ birthday, y'know, when she actually bothered to talk to him, and apparently intended to make him keep true to his agreement.

 

Although she’s just as much of a pest as ever, it’s been a while, and they haven’t been keeping up their texting as much as they used to. So...it's alright.

 

It’s been a hot minute since the last time Gold’s competed in a tournament. Or at least, it feels like it was. He'd tried to get Silver to come along, but the redhead seemed more interested in training his team up to take on Lance and finally beat him. Gold had forgotten he wanted to do that. But he wished him luck, nonetheless.

 

Gold places third in the tournament. He’s gotten rusty. Green rolls her eyes and slaps his arm as he starts getting mopey about it.

 

She still mentions them all hanging out again together sometime. Gold comments that it’s a little hard to do that with Green in Kanto all the time. It makes her frown, and tense, like what he said hit a lot harder than he wanted it to.

 

He supposes...it’s not her fault, and he shouldn’t have said that. After all, he doesn’t make much of an effort with things ever. When was the last time he went up Mt. Silver? Or even texted Red? Whitney? Bugsy?

 

He hates feeling the distance between others, the ones that use to be his idols and his closest friends. He doesn’t really hangout with Kris and Silver much anymore...

 

Ugh. What is he thinking.

 

Like always, Gold’s just trying to make himself miserable. He likes his girlfriend, their friends. He always sees Kris and Silver practically every day. It’s not a big deal.

 

...He does resolve to text Green and Red more often, though. Even if he ends up annoying about it. He wonders how they’re actually doing.

 

...

 

One day while he’s still around, Gold relays to Green his troubles trying to find Silver someone to date. She gives him a weird look, asks him why it matters so much, but after he brushes it off she does agree to help.

 

They are both quite meddlesome when they want to be, as it turns out.

 

Green has the idea to set her up with somebody she’s seen around in the Kanto circuits a lot, who maybe ‘knew’ Blue for a brief period of time. He’s standoffish and moody and edgy and a total bitch, with really awfully styled black hair and piercings and-

 

Well if this isn’t Silver’s type, Gold is officially going to give up.

 

He is, also, native to Johto. Which makes him even more perfect. Gold lets Green do the talking and sure, the idiot looks pretty put out and flustered by what she’s suggesting, but he agrees.

 

And of course Gold can talk Silver into it, too. He’s become so agreeable and ‘pleasant’ lately, so it’s not hard.

 

The plan goes as such: He brings both Silver and Kris to a party in Violet City some of his friends are throwing. Silver’s supposed to get to know the prick, and Kris is to stop being such a shut-in nerd. Gold’s careful not to be too pushy, because he’d end up coming off as a total jerk that way, but he also promises that if they need to leave, he’ll go with.

 

He spends most of the night hanging out with his girlfriend, doing stupidly reckless stunts for laughs and cheers. Despite it nearing spring, the winter chill lingers, hanging heavy in the outside air. But the party inside is so warm, suffocating almost.

 

Suffocating.

 

Gold distracts himself by jumping off the side of the stair banister and into a pair of beanbags on a coffee table.

 

It hurts like hell but it earns him the applause of his peers and an eye roll from his girlfriend. Totally worth it.

 

With keeping the attention on himself, it gives both his friends the space they need to figure out things on their own. He doesn’t get many opportunities to sneak and see how they’re doing, but whenever he checks in on them, Gold’s pretty pleased with himself.

 

Silver and the edgy bastard (Gold really has to come up with a better thing to call him) are seated on a loveseat in the surprisingly quiet basement, so it’s a bit hard to casually pop in and see what’s up. The two of them seem pretty stiff and bored, but he soon realizes that it’s with the party, not with each other. Which is...good. It’s good they’re hitting it off, sorta.

 

Gold attempts to feel happy things are going so well. This was his idea, wasn’t it?

 

He’s roped his girlfriend into dropping in to see how Kris is whenever Gold heads off and checks on Silver. She tells him she’s doing fine, that she’s talking to one of her own friends in another room and everything’s just peachy.

 

When Gold eventually does get around to seeing how Kris is somewhere nearing midnight, he sees her in the hallway talking to his girlfriend’s said friend. And...

 

Yep. They’re pretty obvious.

 

His girlfriend might not have picked up on the subtleties, but Gold knows exactly what he’s seeing. Since nothing _ever_ goes over his head. Especially not after his girlfriend’s friend leans down and pecks a kiss on Kris’ lips. Kris gets so flustered and covers her face right after. It’s pretty adorable. And vanilla.

 

Man he is the BEST friend ever. Or maybe he’s tipsier than he realized. He feels a bit too elated and goofy right now. Did he even grab something to drink?

 

Knowing him, he probably just drank whatever a pal shoved at him. Dumbass.

 

Gold feels a bit like a bad friend, suddenly. He kinda rushed them into this, didn’t he? And he wasn’t around them much, maybe they needed him. But what’s new, he hasn’t been around much lately anyway, like a shitty, shitty-

 

Oh, there’s an arm around his neck and a dare being offered by one of his friends. Hell yeah he’s doing it.

 

At a little past one in the morning, they finally take off. Gold’s girlfriend’s parents are out of town so they’re all going to crash at her place for the night. It’s likely for the best, considering how far away New Bark is. And how suspiciously bubbly Gold is right now.

 

Silver’s walking a few paces behind Gold with Kris next to him, both seeming quiet and tired and...thoughtful, maybe. Kris’ cheeks hold a bit of color to them, possibly from what happened in the hallway, possibly from the cold.

 

If Gold wasn’t so tired himself, he’d be babbling on and teasing them both mercilessly. He’d prattle on about how great this, about what a great group they are, how close they are.

 

Even if something does feel...off about them. It’s probably all just in his head.

 

When they get to his girlfriend’s house, Gold only bothers to help her set up the couch and a spare futon for Silver and Kris to sleep on, respectfully. Then he goes to her bedroom and immediately crashes on her bed.

 

Later, he finds out Silver’s been sneaking off to see that guy more and more in the following weeks. Supposedly, they’re dating now, according to what Kris told him. Mission accomplished?

 

Silver seems happy at least. Or, happier. That’s what matters.

 

And Kris...well, nothing happens with her. If it does, she doesn’t tell Gold about it. But Gold doesn’t really ask, since he’s pretty sure Kris didn’t know he saw what he saw.

 

It’s a victory, all in all. Gold feels pretty pleased with himself. He thinks he does, anyway.

 

The snow is melting outside, and it’s getting warmer out. His Pokemon are enjoying their downtime around the house, and his friends seem to be doing well for themselves. His mom is still as delighted as ever, especially with him having a steady girlfriend and nearly being done enough with his schoolwork to drop out.

 

Spring is coming, and with it, rebirth and growth and good things. So Gold’s not gonna sweat the small stuff. He’s just gonna let himself be happy and stress-free, for once. Crazier things have happened.

 

* * *

 

_His longest and best relationship ends with a bang._

_It’s completely Gold’s fault and he knows it._

_He walks away with bloodied knuckles and an aching heart and the painful memory of what went down. And it's his fault._

_The flight from Violet City home at one in the morning isn’t peaceful. Dragonite seems grumpy he brought her out this late, but he pays her no mind._

_Clenches his fist. Unclenches it._

_It’s still bleeding. It does the entire way. White dust covers part of his hand._

_He has to be quiet going into the house, less he wake his mom up._

_Of course someone else is up, though._

_Silver’s eyes bulge a bit at the sight of Gold’s hand. And then, narrow. An accusatory look._

_There’s nothing left in Gold. No room for anger, or offense, or shame at Silver’s silent question. ‘Punched a wall’ is all he explains._

_‘Not her face’ goes unsaid._

_An official declaration of the breakup isn’t needed. It’s pretty obvious it was over once Gold...did that._

_She doesn’t call. And he doesn’t dare to._

_Kris tries to comfort him. Says it wasn’t his fault, that it was for the best, that they never liked her anyway._

_Which just hurts worse. Because she doesn’t know what he did. And because...he did like her. A lot._

_And he overreacted. Fucked it up._

_God._

_Silver knows. He doesn’t know why Gold did it, but he knows._

_And the scowl returns._

_Gold has nobody to blame but himself._

* * *

 

The loneliness he feels is fueled with bitterness and regret. Lives inside him at all hours, keeps him awake at night. It’s both uncontrollable and something he thinks he should be able to get over already at the same time. And it’s the worst thing he’s ever experienced.

 

Which is melodramatic as hell. But that’s not exactly new to Gold at that moment.

 

How could he have been so stupid? He literally set himself for all of this. Built the world’s most janky, fragile card tower and then yanked out the bottom.

 

Idiot.

 

Pichu keeps checking on him every minute. Cries for him and pats his face and rubs hers against him. She’s the only one who sees through him completely, and even if she doesn’t understand what's wrong he understands she’s sad. And not for the first time, Gold thanks the stars and fate for bringing them together.

 

His ex-girlfriend’s friends cut off all contact the next day after their breakup. Which sucks, because they were the kind of childish fun he felt like he was lacking his entire life. But it’s fine. He shouldn’t be neglecting his real friends anyway, even if there’s only two of them. Maybe three, if he counts Red. Four if he’s willing to tolerate Green.

 

But with the way Silver’s distanced himself, maybe he’s back down to three.

 

Everything about his stupid maybe-crush on the redhead has only startled snowballing now that he’s single again.

 

Things are different with Silver. When Gold's fallen for people in the past, he's fallen hard, with rapid passion that quickly fizzles out. Even with his now-ex, the closest he’s ever come to truly being in love, his crush on her happened right away and hit him like a train.

 

But with Silver, things are slower. Smaller. Little things about him. Little quirks, little ticks, little memories; they all build up more and more each day.

 

And somehow, it’s harder for Gold. Because it never fades, just gets stronger over time. Though he definitely fell harder for his ex than he’s currently doing so with Silver, this aches so much more and it won’t leave him be. If Gold was shallower than he already is, he’d consider jumping into another relationship just to distract himself once again.

 

Honestly, he doesn’t think he’s going to date anyone for...a while probably. It’s the smart thing to do.

 

Even if watching Silver stay out late and come home after being gone for days sucks. Even if it makes his heart clench and his stomach twist, makes his brain shut down and his body heat from anger and frustration. Everything about his breakup only becomes worse now that Silver is in a successful relationship, one masterminded by Gold himself.

 

He really did set himself up for this.

 

All his fault.

 

Maybe, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, if not for the fact that he can feel Silver drifting away. It’s not the fear of losing out on fulfilling a simple crush, no. It’s the fear of losing a friend.

 

They don’t go hiking on the weekends anymore, or battle, or head to the Battle Frontier like they used to. Kris isn’t spared from it either; sure, she and Gold always watch their silly little shows together in the evenings. But it’s probably not the same without their third.

 

He finds himself at the lab more often, even when Kris isn’t there. It’s the only other place in town he cares about. He’d leave to go somewhere else, but...

 

He worries if he leaves, he might now come back home. For a while, at least.

 

The lab though. Well, it’s never been Gold’s thing. But he tries to help out. Runs a few errands around for Elm, tends to the research Pokemon there. And after Kris gets home from school, he talks to her then. Counts himself lucky she'd not holding a grudge that he essentially did what Silver’s doing to them right now back while he was with his ex-girlfriend.

 

God, Silver.

 

Gold’s not stupid. He’s seen Silver using the computer more and more often, seen him leave up several apartment listings when he supposedly logs off for the time being.

 

Their time living together is coming to an end.

 

Which hurts more than Gold can explain. It feels a bit unfair too. Silver’s still only sixteen and he’s moving out to live on his own? It’s absolutely ridiculous.

 

Even his mom agrees, as they gossip together alone in the kitchen or in front of the TV. She’s grown fond of the redhead too. Maybe even more than Gold, she tries to joke. Gold gives her a half-hearted whining and sticks his tongue out at her for that.

 

But in the end, a promise was a promise. And over dinner one night, after Silver brings up looking into some apartment listings, his mom smiles and agrees.

 

Nearly all of them are in Goldenrod City. Gold loves it there, more than most places he’s been to. But it’s so, so far away. The others he’s picked out are in cities Gold never bothered to learn the names of, and...

 

Well, on the bright side, it won’t be the end of the world. Maybe they’ll be able to see each other more if Gold hangs around Silver’s apartment and they do things in town. And the Battle Frontier is closer, so they could go to that too. It'll work out.

 

...

 

Gold finishes the last bit of his middle school work and promptly drops out without much of a second thought. It’s definitely not going to be the proudest he’s ever made his mother, but it means he’ll never have to risk losing his trainer’s license ever again.

 

Now, he just has to figure out what he wants to do with the rest of his life and he’ll be peachy.

 

Another birthday passes, and he doesn’t care. It only means he’s one year away from being an official adult. Though the truth is, he hasn’t felt like a kid in years. Not since long before he set out on his Pokemon journey.

 

There’s a lot he needs to figure out. And the clock is starting to run out. He still has hopes, and dreams, and aspirations he wants to meet.

 

If only he could pull his head out of his ass and stop being such a mopey bitch all the time.

 

Him send his stupid, stupid ‘problem child’ complex.

 

* * *

 

_It’s nothing special._

_A small, dull looking apartment towards the top of a complex in Goldenrod City. Style and quality had to be sacrificed, because Silver refused to live anywhere other than there._

_Gold and his mom are looking around the place. It comes furnished; something apparently common in these big city places._

_He’d sooner sleep on the dirt outside than on that potential bug-ridden bed._

_...It’s probably fine, honestly._

_But it all feels like too much happening too quickly. His mom keeps trying to convince Silver maybe he should stay, just in case._

_Teenagers don’t need to live alone, anyway._

_Silver doesn’t back down._

_And his mom does keep her word. She signs the papers, as Silver’s legal guardian. The landlord is somewhat on the shady side, which is why they’re even getting away with this. Gold frowns the entire time they’re around._

_This is happening, and nothing can change it._

_Silver’s boyfriend passes by as Gold and his mom are leaving. He doesn’t seem to notice Gold._

_God, fuck that guy._

_..._

_What he wouldn’t do to take his place, though._

* * *

 

Whoever’s idea it was for them to do this in the increasingly hot summer is an idiot.

 

He helps Silver get his things together. At the very least, even if he’s leaving, he’ll be doing so with a lot more than the clothes on his back and nothing else. Something about that is a lot sadder now than it was when Silver first showed up. Gold hopes that at the very least it signifies Silver finally getting over always needing to be on the run.

 

The half-empty dresser looks so depressing now. It’s fine, it was never going to be permanent. He’ll get over it.

 

They have to take the train from Cherrygrove to Goldenrod, since Gold’s mom and Kris are too prissy to ride on Pokemon. Which is ridiculous, in Gold’s opinion. He had it all planned out. His mom would take Noctowl, and Kris has a Togekiss now.

 

It would’ve been significantly better than crowding on a stuffy, hot train for an hour and a half, that’s for sure.

 

The apartment is just the same as it was when they looked at it. Them being there, well, it’s hardly a welcome party. Just Gold and his mom and Kris and Silver cramped together in a living room tinier than the one back home, with both his and Kris’ Pichus going back and forth between each of them for attention. He’s really trying to enjoy the moment, trying to make sure Silver’s adjusting to his new place.

 

But it hurts. It hurts and Gold hates this.

 

He’s all smiles. Smiles and jokes. Some so bad his mom has to scold him to watch his mouth, right in front of his friends. It’s a good thing he can laugh off embarrassment that strong.

 

Before long there’s a quiet knock on the door. His heart drops as Silver opens the door to his boyfriend waiting there, looking just as douchey as he was the other day. He sees his mom in his peripheral vision scowling at the sight of all those piercings and shitty hair.

 

Honestly, she cares way too much about other people’s business.

 

When Gold’s mom darts out of the room for a moment, he slings his arm around Silver and Gold has to look away as his heart clenches. He’s such an idiot.

 

Kris shoots him a look. He fakes a gagging motion and rolls his eyes, getting a snicker from her and a glare from Silver. The asshole steps away from Silver, but there’s no flicker of emotion on his face. It’s so freaky.

 

After his mom comes back, it seems like it’s time to go. She has work, after all, and Gold would never make her go home alone.

 

She walks over to Silver, straightening the sides of his jacket for him. There’s a tight, nervous frown on her lips, a troubled look in her eyes. “Are you sure you’re going to be alright here?”

 

Silver nods, not fazed by her motherly fretting. “Yeah, I’m all settled in.”

 

“I know-, but.” The frown only grows as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, one hand on Silver’s shoulder. “Well, you’re just so young...are you going to be fine on your own?”

 

“Well it’s not as if this is my first time being alone.” Silver chuckles bitterly and rubs the back of his head. “But, I think I’m better prepared this time around, thanks to you.”

 

“Don’t mention it.” His mom smiles. And then, after a bit of hesitation, she wraps her arms around Silver. Slowly, he returns the embrace. Gold knows how awkward it must be. But he also notes that, at the very least, he’s not tensing like he used to at the sensation of touch.

 

They pull away after a few seconds, his mom looking close to crying, making Gold frown. Even Silver seems more emotionally vulnerable than normal.

 

He offers her a gentle smile. “Thanks for everything Dani. It...means a lot. Everything you’ve done.”

 

“Of course, Silver. Please, take care of yourself baby. Call us if you need anything okay?”

 

Silver nods, but before he can speak Kris pulls him into a tight hug with a choked noise. He gives her a few stiff pats on the back and promises to text her and keep up with their shows, swears it even, if she’ll let go of him. She releases him with a sniffle and a laugh and a punch to the shoulder.

 

The entire time, Silver’s boyfriend has stood off to the side with a blank look on his face and a disinterested vibe to him. Gold’s tried to focus on how much he hates him sticking around as this is clearly a very personal thing, since all this goodbye shit is getting a bit overwhelming for them all.

 

When he finally turns his attention back, Silver gives him the tiniest waves.

 

There’s a sadness to his expression, making Gold wish it was enough for him to reconsider this all. But it’s not.

 

“Bye Gold.”

 

“Bye Silv. See you around.”

 

They don’t hug. It would be too weird. So Gold ruffles up Silver’s slightly longer hair and gets his tattered old hat ripped off in return. Silver does have the decency to pet Pichu and whispers he’ll miss her the most. Despite the atmosphere, Gold grins.

 

The walk back to the station is a quiet one. His mom is still close to crying, so he leaves her be to avoid a full public breakdown. Kris keeps shooting Gold worried looks, finally picking up that something isn’t right about him.

 

He ignores her, instead paying attention to Pichu as she presses her cheek against Gold’s. He gives her a few scratches on the head. The moon is beautiful and full of light in the sky, but the stars are brighter back home.

 

Everything will be okay.

 

* * *

 

_It’s late one autumn night._

_They’re together on Silver’s unrolled futon, watching one of Gold’s treasured childhood movies. The TV is at a hush, less they risk waking up Gold’s mom, so they stay quiet as they watch._

_At some point, Gold realizes Silver’s a bit too quiet. He realizes there’s been a noticeable weight on his shoulder for some time now._

_Literal weight, not a metaphorical one. Obviously._

_Gold doesn’t know when he ok’d becoming Silver’s personal pillow, but he doesn’t have the heart or energy to stir him._

_The light from the TV casts blue to Silver’s pale face. He looks...so relaxed. There’s no tension in his brows, no sneer on his lips, no glare in his eyes. Just serenity._

_In his exhausted, empty-headed brain, he comes up with a thought._

_A stupid thought._

_But his body starts to act before he can even think of consequences._

_Slowly, he brushes his hand against where Silver’s is in between them._

_And then, as if handling something ever-so delicate in his grip, he intertwines their fingers. Feels the warmth of Silver’s palm, the chill in his fingertips._

_He closes his eyes. Rests his head against Silver’s. If he pays enough attention, he thinks he feels the slightest squeeze._

_The grip on his own hand tightens._

_And so, he falls asleep, his heart beating faster than it was minutes ago._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some more teen drama and angst™ hoo boy


	8. Bittersweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abruptly, Gold stops laughing. “I’m being serious here.”
> 
> And just as fast, Silver stops laughing too.

_Often times, he wishes he was as sly as he likes to think he is._

 

_And hell, he probably is, with how many places he’s broken into and how many people he’s snuck behind._

_Yet, Kris catches onto him pretty quick._

_Gold first notices the night they walk back from Silver’s new apartment, her observant eye never leaving._

_He notices her stare linger on the rare occasion they do meet up with him, observing how they act._

_Notices how close Gold tries to get and how he sometimes zones out just watching Silver._

_When she confronts him about it, he has to admit he’s definitely not being subtle with his feelings. That, or Kris just loves to obsess over him._

_But he caves, and reluctantly confesses his stupid little crush to her. Then promptly reminds her he’s not acting on it._

_For reasons._

_~~Punching the wall, jealous, problem child reasons.~~ _

_Kris says she understands, that it’s okay, that she supports him. Gold just brushes her off._

_It’s not a big deal, it’ll pass._

_It’ll be okay and it will pass._

_Until then, Gold’s gotta play it cool. Which, blissfully, is something he’s good at._

_...He thinks._

 

* * *

 

The shitshow begins that summer with Green showing up in New Bark out of the blue. And unlike all her other random pop-ins, this time, she sticks around.

 

At first, her arrival takes Gold by surprise. He’d known she’d been busy with school and he kept wondering why it had taken so long to get done with it. But unlike him, she actually bothered to graduate, which seemed kinda pointless? At the time. Three years down the drain, but it was her decision. Gold doesn’t get it, but accepts her presence, nonetheless. That part was expected.

 

What he didn’t expect was for Green to straight up _move_ to Johto.

 

It’s a hot summer’s day not long after she’s come back when she loudly announces she’s found an apartment in Cherrygrove City and she’s staying for good. Kris is weirdly ecstatic about it, dropping her ice pop to hug her arms around Green’s neck, which is...a thing that happens for some reason. His and Kris’ Pichu enjoy the fallen treat at least.

 

Suddenly her graduating high school makes sense. She’ll need a job and a place to stay and that obviously boosts her chances of succeeding here quite nicely.

 

As for her motives for moving here? Gold’s got no idea. Sure, she'd always talk about them becoming close friends and all that sappy nonsense, but he never thought she’d go far enough to take the distance problem this out of the equation.

 

He reminds her that she can take the distance away, but there will always be one other problem: Silver.

 

Since he moved away, Gold and Kris have rarely been successful in getting him to leave Goldenrod to come hang out with them. Green is a different story. All it takes is her threatening to come to his apartment and drag him to Cherrygrove, followed by her making true of said threat, for Silver to start coming around more often.

 

He really has to admire Green’s tenacity. Even Gold couldn’t be as useful in his pestering as she was. A true talent.

 

Mostly they just mess around Cherrygrove and New Bark, being stupid teenagers who are too young to drink and too lazy to go anywhere with something to actually do. Their activities tend to range on the dumb, useless side of things.

 

Pointless competitions over trivial things, usually orchestrated by Green between Gold and Silver. Shitting around on Route 29 and laughing when Kris gets spooked by a low-level Pidgey. Noisily crowding in corner shops to bicker over food and who added what stupid thing to their purchase. Late nights on Cherrygrove’s beach, just talking, staying out past curfew.

 

Gold can’t even deny how nice it is, having friends like this. He hopes Green’s happy with herself. She finally got what she wanted and, hey, it’s worth it.

 

Though before long, it becomes obvious Kris told Green about his stupid little crush. Because every time he unintentionally drops something too flirty at Silver or makes the redhead laugh at something he did or said, she flashes him a cheeky grin or a thumbs up and a wink. Kris always thinks it’s sooo fucking funny.

 

But Gold doesn’t really find it funny. Because if Silver catches on, then what?

 

It’s gonna be weird, that’s what.

 

Although...

 

Sometimes, he swears he can see Silver’s cheeks flush ever so slightly when Gold says something a little sincerely nice about him. And sometimes he feels like maybe when they’re all sitting somewhere Silver seems to sit a little closer. Or when it’s late at night and he claims to be tired so he rests his head on Gold’s shoulder and dozes off when Gold’s pretty sure there’s no way he’s actually sleepy, but...

 

Can’t he hope? Maybe he shouldn’t. But he really, really does.

 

He has to ground himself. Even if Silver does, in a very hypothetical situation, like him back, he’s in a relationship still. With somebody Green and Gold set him up with. And intentionally hitting on somebody who has a boyfriend is something too shitty that even Gold wouldn’t stoop so low.

 

So he’ll admire from a distance. Take the laughs he earns and the head on the shoulder and the brief brush of hands and the biting nicknames and the fire in Silver’s eyes, its warmth reserved only for Gold.

 

Gold wants to be happy. But he wants Silver to be happy more.

 

And it isn’t jealousy talking when he says that that guy isn’t making Silver happy.

 

It’s always something. Silver brings his frustrations to their group discussions, where he vents about the shitty things that douche does and the three of them chime in with comments and their own complaints. Kris and Green always tell him to break up with that guy already, but Silver just scoffs and waves them off, grumbling that they’re missing the point. Gold tends to stay in his own lane, but...

 

He regrets setting Silver up like that. During the past year, Gold’s set himself up for failure in a lot of ways, but he feels horrible for putting Silver in a similar position.

 

He just...

 

Wanted him to be happy. _Wants_ him to be happy. So badly. And if that means breaking up with him, that’s great.

 

And if it means moving on without Gold, that’s-...

 

...

 

Well, it’s okay.

 

Gold has to tell himself it’s okay, and it won’t matter. Because he doesn’t want to lose his laugh and his eyes and his taunts and sneers and his head on his shoulder.

 

But Kris and especially Green are no help in convincing him to not fuck things up, so...he's on his own for this one.

 

How much longer can he do it, though? How much longer can he watch Silver from a distance and wait for an opening he’ll never allow himself to take?

 

The answer, he doesn’t know. But knowing his impatient ass, probably not long.

 

* * *

 

_They all were just waiting for it to happen._

_What, with the distance and sour texts and vented complaints._

 

_So when Silver casually mentions him and his boyfriend broke up, Gold lets the girls do the comforting._

_Not that Silver needs it, he doesn’t seem to mind much._

_...Gold totally minds much, though._

_He promised himself, **he swore to himself** , that he wouldn’t do this. He wouldn’t get his hopes up, wouldn’t let his feelings grow, wouldn’t **dare** think to act on them._

_But now that Silver’s single..._

_Shit. He doesn’t know what to do._

_Needs a voice of reason._

_Which neither Green nor Kris supply him with._

_Green hypes him up, eggs him on, calls him a wuss when he says he won’t. Kris is softer, sweeter, more convincing. It’s a sign, isn’t it?_

_Rivals turned friends, potentially turning lovers. It’s so poetic, so romantic. Like some shit from a slice-of-life they’ve forced Gold to be a part in._

_He hates cheesy things like this. But maybe they’re right, maybe..._

_Maybe it is a sign._

_Gold’s been single for the longest time since before he started dating. He feels more mature, more self-aware._

_More ready to handle something long-term and serious._

_Not to mention, he’s not so sure his feelings aren’t requited. He knows Silver, and Silver knows him._

_The hesitantly lingering touches, the banter that’s become their own symbol of affection, the jabs at Gold’s expense and the way Silver laughs at them._

_The longer he thinks about it, the harder it is to stay true to his promise._

_Sure, he’s made mistakes, but that’s no reason to punish himself forever, right?_

_..._

_He tells Green and Kris one day he’s going to do it._

_He’s going to confess._

_It’s exciting, almost, confessing to somebody he’s so close to._

_It has to be fate._

_Gold just hopes he doesn’t screw it up, like he has so many other things._

 

* * *

 

Truthfully, Gold fully knows he's far from the sappy type. In the past, his girlfriends have complained about how he isn’t romantic enough and he needs to try more in those areas. It’s not that he can’t per say, he’s just never had the motivation to.

 

But now he does.

 

If he’s going to ask Silver out, it needs to be _perfect_. And although Silver’s a guy and probably doesn’t like that sappy lovey shit either, Gold’s still betting that he’ll make an exception, for it this time.

 

He gives Silver time to get over his last breakup, but it seems like he’s taking it like a champ, which is absolutely ideal. Within weeks, Gold begins planning everything out.

 

It’s difficult to think of the perfect place to confess. There’s just so many places they have history with: The Battle Frontier? The beach in New Bark, or the one in Cherrygrove? Blackthorn? He only has one chance to make this memorable and most of that relies on where he goes through with it.

 

In the end, Gold decides on Goldenrod because it’s the one that’s least obvious in revealing his intentions. So much so that when Gold does man up and asks Silver to hang out around the city, his rival doesn’t bat an eye. It’s perfect.

 

That day, before he leaves home, he stops by Green’s apartment. The fact that Kris was already there barely registers as a surprise.

 

Gold fills them in on his plan and leaves Pichu there with them before he takes off, only barely being spared from Kris’ eager meddling and Green’s jeers meant to rile him up.

 

He makes it to Goldenrod in short time, then waits for Silver outside his apartment. There’s a chill in the air, but Gold puts up with it, knowing this is Silver’s favorite kind of weather,

 

Goldenrod’s a bit too urban for much greenery around most parts of the city, but the marina on the west side of town has plenty of trees and foliage decorating the area. The trees are already turning pretty shades of red and orange, matching the sunset and the ocean it colors. It’s really such a picture-perfect setting for Gold’s intentions.

 

When he leads them there after a few hours of their typical hangout activities, Silver finally starts looking a bit skeptical. After all, besides the shipyard and the enormous communications building, there’s not much to do around here besides walk.

 

Which is what they do.

 

Gold’s smooth as ever and talks and talks to keep things casual, to keep Silver from getting too tense or annoyed now that he’s caught on that Gold’s up to something.

 

They’re not the only people out here, either. There’s travelers and tourists going to and from the ships and airport and subway.

 

More notably, there’s other pairs just like them.

 

Because the area is, of course, popular with normal couples out on dates. Gold didn’t even intend for it to happen this way, and he kinda feels like an idiot for once again failing to be subtle.

 

Lucky enough, Silver seems more interested in making jabs about how cheesy this place is and how even dorkier it is all these couples are here, like walking stereotypes. Gold laughs along, trying not to let his embarrassment show that he had the same mindset as all of them.

 

Then, he goes for it.

 

“Y’know, with it just the two of us out here, we kinda fit right in.” He starts as nonchalantly as he can, shoving his hands in his coat pockets. His voice sounds light and mellow, despite how jittery he is.

 

Silver gives him an odd look, then he shrugs. “Yeah, I guess so.”

 

The calm, aloof nature about his rival sets him on edge. He fails to not let it get the best of him.

 

“I mean, we might as well be dating then, right?” Gold says too quickly, a nervous laugh bubbling up before he can stop it. It barely hides his slip-up, so he adds, “Y’know, if we’re out here like everybody else.”

 

“Hilarious. Absolutely not.” Silver snorts, rolling his eyes. Something must cross his mind because he begins to laugh along with Gold. “You shouldn’t joke about that, you’ll freak me out.”

 

Abruptly, Gold stops laughing. “I’m being serious here.”

 

And just as fast, Silver stops laughing too.

 

They come to a gradual halt in the middle of the plaza and stare each other down. Silver’s expression does nothing to hide how taken aback he is.

 

It’s becoming harder to not to freak out with a reaction like that.

 

“Eh?” Is all Silver says, confused as all hell, his forehead creased as his brows furrow. Gold swallows hard and rubs the back of his head, glancing off to the side to avoid looking at him.

 

Sure he wanted it to be a bit of a surprise, but Silver’s staring at him like this is coming from complete nowhere.

 

Surely, it isn’t right?

 

Even if it is, it’s far too late to back down. Gold tries to keep his composure, taking a deep breath and making eye contact again before he goes for it.

 

“Yeah. Like I don’t know, I think we’d be really good together. I’ve thought so for a while now. So maybe...” He swallows. His throat feels far too dry now and his confession isn’t coming out nearly as articulated as he wanted.

 

With the way Silver’s still looking at him, it’s hard to finish off with anything better than, “Maybe it’s worth a shot?”

 

Silver keeps staring him down with an unreadable look.

 

It sets Gold’s stomach in knots and it feels too cold suddenly. He stutters a weak, “M-maybe?”

 

“Oh...” Silver finally says, blinking a few times as he returns to reality. “Well, okay.”

 

For a brief moment, Gold’s heart begins to soar-...

 

“The answer is still no, but I’ll be nicer about it this time.” Silver crosses his arms, staring Gold down with a tight, unnerved frown. “I don’t reciprocate your feelings, so no, I don’t want to date you.”

 

…-Only to plummet, hard, when Silver continues talking.

 

Suddenly, Gold doesn’t know what to do.

 

He’s filled with the repeating thoughts of, _this isn’t right, this isn’t fair, this isn’t how it was supposed to go_ before he shakes them from his mind. This is absolutely not the time to act like a child and throw a fit.

 

There was no way he was expecting _this_ , though.

 

It had never crossed his mind that Silver would actually say no and-, okay yeah, it stings just a little. A little more than a little.

 

Gold’s been rejected before. With how he is, who'd be surprised? Usually he’s amazing at recovering from the humiliation, but for some reason he can’t just laugh this one off. Maybe he should, but-

 

He’s not mad. And he’s not going to throw a fit.

 

But he wants an explanation.

 

He takes a deep breath, and sighs it out. His body feels iced. It's not a good feeling, but it's better than the burn of anger any day.

 

“Why?” He stays as calm as possible, pushing down the feeling of nausea crawling in his stomach. He tries his damndest to sound reasonably mature, and succeeds in it, but Silver overreacts like he really did break out in a tantrum.

 

“Oh my god, are you serious? Just-“ Silver scoffs, finally breaking eye contact with Gold. His own composure starts to fade as well, losing it to exasperation. “Don’t you think that it’s too weird? I mean, we’ve known each other since we were kids. Shared a room recently. Surely you see a problem with that, right?”

 

Silently, Gold shakes his head. Silver lowers his voice but keeps the apathy to it.

 

A shrug, finishing with a cold, “It all seems so forced, I’m sorry.”

 

Normally, Gold could accept it and leave it at that.

 

...Except for something about his answer feels wrong to him. Something about his tone, his expression, his body language. He can always tell when somebody’s putting on an act, _always_ , even if he misunderstands everything else about them.

 

Maybe he failed to read the romantic interest before, but he’s definitely able to read the lie now.

 

And there’s no way he can accept a lie as an answer.

 

“That’s-...“ Gold begins, then hesitates, unsure of how to put it. Quickly, he settles with being blunt. “That’s a really shitty reason Silver.”

 

His rival reacts about as well as expected.

 

“Go fuck yourself. It’s a perfectly valid reason, you just don’t want to hear it.” He practically hisses, glaring daggers at Gold, fists clenched right at his side.

 

“No, it’s a shit one. Because I’m not stupid and neither are you.” Gold bites back, bringing in enough venom to match Silver’s. “If you didn’t want to date me you’d have said so upfront, or said you got out of a relationship and didn’t want to get into another one.

 

“I _know_ you Silver. And I know an act when I see one.” His voice raises as his frustration does. “So don’t _lie_ to me.”

 

When he finishes, Silver seems to almost flinch at Gold’s intensity. He feels...pretty bad for going overboard like that.

 

“Sorry, that was really harsh.” Gold continues, trying to dial it down. There’s a sinking feeling inside him that grounds his irritation. “I’m not trying to act all-“ He pauses. “I don’t know, I guess, pathetic and whiny you rejected me. I only wanna know why, okay? The real reason.”

 

He nearly stops there, but adds in a last, quiet, “Please.”

 

Silver looks at him like a deer in headlights. Gold can see the thoughts racing through his head, can tell how nervous he is by pursed lips and darting eyes alone. Gold stays quiet, giving him his time.

 

Finally, Silver caves, sighing as he does. “You’re really going to put me on the spot like this? Maybe I was being serious, you don’t know.”

 

When Gold doesn’t respond, Silver frowns harder, seeming conflicted as to what to do.

 

“Fine, don’t take this the wrong way, but-“ Silver starts, crossing his arms.

 

Gold’s already not liking where this is going, but he keeps quiet. He asked for this.

 

“...Look, you’re a nice guy Gold. You have a good heart and you care about people and whatever. But you’re also pretty-“ Silver hesitates, his brows furrowing. “...Shallow. Or at least, you act like you are.”

 

…

 

Ouch.

 

Something about the sincerity of Silver’s words hurts worse than anything. Gold knew he had caused problems for people in the past, but he never knew it looked so bad from an outside perspective.

 

If he was a weaker man, he could break down right about now.

 

Silver’s relentless as he keeps talking. His voice isn’t even harsh, just full of earned criticisms that strike worse with each one.

 

“You’ve dated a lot of people. An unreasonable amount for a really short period of time. I was there.” He brushes his hair out of face, eyes cold and sharp as they pierce through Gold. “You’d be with one girl for a week and then with somebody else the next one.”

 

Gold finally tries to interject his desperate defense of, “They didn’t mean anything-“

 

“And that’s the _problem_.” Silver interrupts, shaking his head. “Whether you mean to or not, you use people. Maybe not friends, but definitely partners. Dating isn’t for your amusement. Other people have feelings, not just you.”

 

Admittedly, he does have a point. But it’s a point that Gold’s already realized.

 

“I’ve...gotten passed that.” He begins. Silver immediately rolls his eyes, obviously not believing it.

 

It makes Gold scowl as he goes on. “I’m serious. I’m done dating people for shits and giggles; I only want the real thing now. With you-“

 

“Yeah, and it took you putting your fist through a wall to make you realize that.”

 

_Ouch._

 

It’s a low blow, and boy does Gold feel it hit. At first, it sucks the wind out of his lungs entirely, then replaces it with hot air and fire in his belly.

 

Silver using that against him, when he _knows_ , knows it wasn’t on purpose. That it was an accident Gold’s worked so hard to make up for and never do it again. And holding it against him...

 

It pisses him off.

 

“That’s not _why_ -“

 

“ _All I’m saying-_ “ Silver cuts him off, holding his hands up defensively. There’s a harsher edge in his voice now. “Is that you have issues when it comes to dating. You have a lot of them. Maybe whatever you think you feel for me is a part of that, I don’t know, I don’t care. But despite what you think, you still haven’t gotten your shit together.”

 

The anger dies down instantly, Gold’s fury changing to shame. Silver picks up on it and lowers his voice, but sharpens his glare. “You say you know me, well, I know you too. And I refuse to be another one of your little flings.

 

“Because like it or not, you’re going to break up with me. That’s how you are. And let’s face it, that’s how I am too.” Silver admits, looking away from Gold. “It’s going to happen and I-...I don’t...”

 

It seems like he's lost his steam. Silver takes a deep, shuddering breath.

 

“We’re all getting along so well, and you’ve...done a lot for me. I don’t want to lose you as a friend, Gold.” His rival’s voice grows uncharacteristically soft, his head hung down.

 

It’s quickly replaced with irritability as Silver sneers at him again. “Liking you like that, _dating_ , it’s too weird. I don’t have feelings for you.

 

“So please, can we let this go. Forget about it all.”

 

...

 

Gold feels like a complete and utter jackass.

 

Of course he misread Silver. He was so cocky to think he knew exactly how he felt. Now he’s put him in such an uncomfortable situation because of selfishness and probably misplaced desire.

 

With how angry and upset Silver is, he fears he’s ruined their friendship permanently. He’s such an idiot and-

 

Even now, he feels like Silver’s lying to him. Or pretending or, _something_. Maybe it’s just Gold's ego and his narcissism, but he can’t help but feel like maybe he was actually right about thinking he had feelings for him too.

 

He was just so painfully wrong about Silver wanting to _act_ on them.

 

Replaying Silver’s words, something about it catches in Gold’s mind. ‘ _I don’t want to lose you as a friend’_ , Silver’s never called them friends before. In fact, he’s stubbornly tried to deny it each and every time Gold’s ever tried to call them that.

 

It makes everything so much worse. He feels so unbelievably guilty for ever bringing this up.

 

He takes the opening to backpedal on everything he just confessed. There’s no way to erase everything he said, but he can at least try to make up for it.

 

“Yeah, that’s fine. Um-“ Gold clears his throat, rubbing the back of his head.

 

He’s not sure what else to do besides apologize, no matter how weak and half-assed it comes off. It’s genuine.

 

“I’m sorry, for uh, making you uncomfortable and all that. I didn’t mean to I just-“

 

Silver grimaces, holding up a hand to cut him off. “No-, god stop it. It’s fine.”

 

“Alright.” He nods. He tries to let it go, but shame bubbles up, taking over again. “Silv, I really am sorry-“

 

“ _Gold_.” Silver snaps, glaring him down with burning eyes. “It’s fine.”

 

Another apology dies in his throat. He chokes it down, looking away from Silver’s intensity. “Right, uh-“ Gold hesitates, unsure of what to say. He thinks back on what to do; if he can’t erase it, he can let it go.

 

Or pretend to.

 

So he offers a forced smile and fakes hope in his voice. “Things won’t be weird between us, right?”

 

“I’ll forget about it if you will.” Silver nods, seeming relieved. It only adds to making Gold feel worse.

 

“Right...”

 

They avoid looking at each other. Neither of them know where to go from here, and Gold’s half tempted to just whip out Dragonite’s ball and fly off.

 

Reality quickly sets in.

 

He really did just get rejected, _bad_ , and every little thing Silver said about him rings through his head in a garbled cacophony of valid criticisms and his own failures and fears realized, self-loathing fills him and-, fuck.

 

Gold feels his lungs start to lose air and the air around him close in. He must be freaking out pretty bad if it’s making Silver finally look at him, his eyes flashing between worry and irritation and-, guilt? No, it’s unreadable.

 

Either way, he can’t stay.

 

With a forcefully cheery goodbye and wave, Gold calls out Dragonite and hops on her back. She only hesitates for a brief moment before she nods, taking off. Almost immediately Gold begins gasping for air, his hand on his chest as he desperately tries to calm himself.

 

Why is he so cold? So sweaty? So-, freaking out? That doesn’t even make sense.

 

He doesn’t make sense.

 

Silver doesn’t tell him goodbye. Gold doesn’t look to see what his expression was while he was taking off. He doesn’t want to know.

 

* * *

_…_

_It becomes weird._

_There’s a distance between them now, both physically and emotionally. A tense feeling hanging in the air at all times._

_Everything is so awkward now. Gold can’t stand it._

_It’s suffocating him._

_The way Silver seems to withdraw if he gets too close, if he laughs too much or if he says something too nice or too teasing._

_He’s walking on eggshells._

_Suffocating._

_His lungs feel tight and his heart aches. It feels like he’s spinning again, spinning and dizzy and sick, out of control._

_It feels like he’s spiraling downwards._

_..._

_The way Kris looks at him with pity. The way Green frowns, tries to watch her tongue._

_The way Silver drifts away. The way the ghosts of his pasts feel like they’re haunting him, all his failures come to truly bite him in the ass._

_When Silver’s birthday comes, and he avoids them all for the day, Gold knows it’s his fault._

_His fault for being selfish._

_His fault for tearing up the group._

_His fault for betraying his friend._

_..._

_Gold can’t stay anymore. He can’t._

_He flees an early morning, once he’s put all his Pokemon in their balls and sent some back to the storage. Leaves a note behind to his mom._

_Says he’s antsy, wants to go hiking. He’ll be back._

_With Pichu worriedly perched on his shoulder, he heads east of New Bark, to the place where his isolation feels justified._

_..._

_It’s too bad Red has no idea how to deal with romance issues. Nor does he seem to care._

_But Gold stays._

_..._

_But..._

_The snow is high. It’s already starting to blizzard as winter stands at the door. Red repeatedly warns him to go before he gets snowed in._

_Gold doesn’t want to go back, though._

_He can’t._

* * *

 

It’s only when Blue shows up on a clear day nearly a month later, his surprise at Gold’s presence being evident by the look on his face, and stubbornly demands Gold comes down with him does Gold actually leave. He’d have refused and stayed up there if he could stand the cold. Didn't help that Blue’s the type of pushy person he just caves to.

 

He feels kinda bad. It seemed like Red was genuinely excited to see Blue show up despite such awful weather.

 

Or maybe he was just sick of Gold’s company and was grateful to see somebody else. Or was excited to get rid of Gold.

 

It sucks, nonetheless.

 

Gold hasn’t seen Blue in so long that he figured the trip back down Mt. Silver would be a fun bit of catching up. And it probably would’ve been, if Blue hadn’t been such a jerk the entire time.

 

Gold really has no idea what he did to piss Blue off so much. He always seems in a bad mood around him.

 

Pichu takes a liking to Blue, though, which isn’t surprising. She likes everybody. She puts Blue in a better mood, but as a result he ignores Gold more. Equivalent exchange, he supposes.

 

On their last night, near the freezing, snow-covered base of the mountain, Gold reluctantly caves to his insecurities and tries to vent his frustrations with Silver to Blue. He knew Red would have no good relationship advice, but maybe Blue would? He’s handsome, outgoing, famous; there’s no way he hasn’t dated before.

 

Blue does lend him his ear, and once Gold’s finished his spiel, he claps a hand on his shoulder and offers an indifferent, “That’s rough, pal.” before going back to babying Pichu. Gold feels embarrassed for even bringing it up.

 

When they finally reach Route 28, he says the quickest goodbye he can and zips off on Dragonite. She’s not very fond of the cold, but at the very least it’s not snowing.

 

If he wasn’t so quick to get away from Blue he’d have stopped by and pestered Lance about any gym openings.

 

But then again, maybe he’s not in the right place for that...

 

What is he thinking? Of course he is.

 

As they fly west of the League, Gold can’t help but think about how he’s misstepped pretty hard this past year. Focusing on relationships and pining instead of achievement and success.

 

He got sidetracked by normality. Since when has he _ever_ been normal?

 

It all starts to add up; he stopped going to the tournaments and never won first, never stayed in everybody’s attention and now has stopped trying to get himself a gym.

 

If he was stupid, or more like Silver, he’d angrily declare himself to want to be the strongest and swear off any idea of friendships ever again. For a laugh, he does that aloud, to nobody but his Pokemon and the sky around them.

 

Pichu just blinks at him. He pouts at her way of silently telling him he’s not funny.

 

...

 

God, Silver…

 

...

 

They make it to New Bark Town in a short amount of time...and then immediately pass it. Dragonite huffs and shoots a glare back at Gold, but he urges her on. He doesn’t want to go home yet.

 

Usually, his go-to hiding place is in Goldenrod City. He loves it there.

 

Or...loved.

 

It feels tainted now, with sour memories of girls and friends that were never fully his friends. With memories of him and Kris hatching eggs and with Silver now living there. Of a failed confession and his mistakes finally coming full circle, his punishment served.

 

Jeez, he’s so dramatic. It just means they fly over Goldenrod too.

 

Dragonite is seriously not happy with him, looking ready to buck him off and let him plummet hundreds of meters to his death. He soothes her and promises the most pampering he can give her once they land.

 

Though, where they’ll go, he’s unsure about.

 

Azalea is too boring, and Ecruteak might be good, but they’d have to backtrack pretty far. He considers even going to Mahogany to get to know Lorelei, which...might be weird on second thought.

 

In his distraction, they’ve gone further west. But Gold figures that’s alright. He could have them land in a city he doesn’t know the name of for a fresh start. A nice idea, but he’d get lost right away.

 

Instead, he has Dragonite land in Olivine.

 

The town is coated in thick, white snow, everything bathed in dim light from the setting sun. Gold sighs out a chilled breath and takes it in for a minute.

 

Olivine in a good place to be right now. One, because it’s right next to the Battle Frontier, but it’s also filled with memories just far enough back to make him feel nostalgic without making him sad.

 

He doesn’t know how long it’ll take him to go home, but for now, this is probably the best he’ll find.

 

Speaking of home...he missed Kris’ birthday.

 

Gold does feel guilty for it, somewhat because he’s tried to be more considerate. And because he let his phone die atop Mt. Silver and never bothered to charge it.

 

Way to go, jackass.

 

He calls her from a public phone and promises to buy something to have it delivered to her tomorrow. For now, he’s got to find somewhere to go. Pichu on his shoulder, barely restraining herself from running off, he begins to head into town from its north exit.

 

Though a big city, it seems to be quieting down as night approaches. Gold appreciates the serenity of it all. He spots a bike shop and decides to get one tomorrow, or whenever he feels like it, to his life easier.

 

The Pokemon Center is a good thirty-minute walk from where he is, but he’s not enough of an ass to make Dragonite come out just to fly him there. He’s not 18 yet, thank god, so he can still stay for free.

 

...Or, he can get distracted by the glowing lights of the Olivine Gym, and head there instead.

 

Gold sometimes wonders if he just runs on an absentminded autopilot once he spots something of interest.

 

He swings open the doors to find Jasmine alone in there, attending to her small army of Magnemite. She blinks at Gold, seemingly surprised at his sudden arrival.

 

Gold offers a smile and a wave as he walks over. The gym is warm compared to the chill outside and he appreciates it.

 

He has no goal in mind for doing this. Just stopping in and saying hi. Jasmine smiles at him once she understands and he sets to work helping her feed her Pokemon and lock up for the night. They’ve never been particularly close, but she brings a comforting presence to the room that Gold’s so desperately needed.

 

And so, he stays.

 

* * *

_There’s a tournament starting at the Battle Frontier that Gold doesn’t hesitate to sign up for._

_Since he’s arrived in Olivine, he’s spent most of his time training there. That, or helping out around the gym, or making runs to Cianwood for Jasmine._

_Not once, has he seen anyone important he knows. But in a cowardly way, Gold’s really kinda grateful for that._

_He doesn’t check his phone often. Doesn’t really talk to any of his friends, either._

_A text to Red, to his mom. A follow-up to Kris for a question he forgot to respond to. A jab at Green for not battling with him at the Frontier._

_A quick hello to Silver. A curt hello back._

_But it’s okay. He’s able to clear his head, get his team back in shape._

_So when he enters the tournament in late January, he feels confident he’s going to win._

_And he does._

_And it feels..._

**_Empty_ ** _._

_Standing atop the podium, holding that gold trophy that matches his name, it was supposed to feel good._

_What with the cameras and the cheers and the interviews and the fame he so desperately missed._

_But he’s alone._

_It’s a hollow victory._

_Though he worked hard and doesn’t doubt it, he..._

_It feels wrong. Without Green and Silver there, it isn’t the same._

_~~Didn’t winning used to feel good?~~ _

_..._

_Gold takes one call from his mom after, then shuts his phone off._

_Sends the trophy back home along with a note that explains he’s cutting contact with everybody for now, but that’s he’s okay._

_He’ll be home soon._

_~~Liar.~~ _

_Jasmine congratulates him once he goes back to the gym the next day, then frowns at his disposition._

_He waves her off, promises he’s fine._

_But Gold knows how obvious he is._

_Unlike most other meddlesome people in his life, though, Jasmine leaves him be._

_For the time being, it seems. ~~~~_

 

* * *

 

Once spring starts to roll around, Gold’s come to terms with the fact that he really is staying in Olivine indefinitely. Part of him thought maybe he could travel around Johto a little more before he turned 18, but he feels too wiped to do that now. For a lot of reasons.

 

It feels weird thinking that he may never travel the country again. Or any country again. Where went his sense of adventure?

 

The last thing he wants to do is mope about it. Gold’s never been that type. Or never liked being that type.

 

So he puts himself to work in finding some way to keep busy.

 

He first takes care of a lot of things he should’ve done sooner. He buys some clothes, since he knows he’ll be staying here a while and can’t keep wearing the same thing all the time. He gets a haircut, because the shaggy-ish hair was cute when he was 14 but now he just feels ridiculous. He buys a bicycle, both for transportation and just for something to do, now that it’s warming up.

 

He buries his phone deep in his bag, never wanting to see it again.

 

While he’s out biking one day, his eye catches on a poster for the newest model of Pokegear, 3.0. He vaguely remembers seeing its release months ago but never getting one.

 

Why would he? He has an actual cell phone now.

 

One which Gold hates, but still owns nonetheless. He’s sorely tempted to by a Pokegear anyway, for instant gratification and nostalgia, but he restrains himself from it.

 

He’s almost an adult. And adults don’t mess with kiddy things like that.

 

That same day, once he’s finished biking and heading back to the gym, he zones out too hard and smacks his face into the glass front doors with full force. Jasmine pales and nearly passes out at the sight of his bloodied face.

 

A gym trainer had to usher him out and was decent enough to give him a towel to clean up the mess. Pichu had a field day with his embarrassment, snickering by his side the entire time.

 

Running into transparent doors is also not a very adult thing to do, he scolds himself.

 

But despite how often he makes a fool of himself, Gold spends most of his time at the gym. Since the lighthouse and the shops in town don’t hold his interest, nor does the Battle Frontier.

 

The issue with that, though, is that he’s not a gym trainer, so he can’t take on any of the trainers that challenge. He doesn’t hardly want to take on their long list of chores, either. Sure, he runs errands for Jasmine and doesn’t mind hanging around doing nothing per say, just...

 

When he has nothing to do, his mind starts to wander in directions it shouldn’t.

 

It makes him feel moody and unmotivated, which is its own kind of hell since that’s the thing Gold hates doing most. It’s a problem with seemingly no solution.

 

That’s what he thinks, at least.

 

It's not long until Jasmine takes notice of him lying around the gym all day.

 

She approaches him after a couple weeks of this behavior, while Gold’s sitting on the side of the battlefield’s bleachers, tossing things for Pichu to go fetch.

 

The way she tumbles over her own feet and squeaks in irritation whenever Gold fakes a toss is really too endearing. She's sorta the only thing that's guaranteed to make him feel happy nowadays.

 

When Jasmine sits down next to him, he doesn't say anything or motion a greeting. For a minute, she just watches him amuse himself with Pichu, until she tires of him not acknowledging her.

 

“We need to find you something to do.” She speaks finally. Her voice is thoughtfully quiet, yet somehow commanding enough Gold lends his gaze towards her.

 

She gives him a small smile and continues. “Something, um, productive, let’s say.”

 

“Huh? I am being productive around here.” He plays dumb, knowing damn well what the truth is.

 

But hey, he is helpful at times, right? It counts.

 

“Well, yes.” She frowns. “But you need to find your own thing to do. Something that doesn’t rely on someone else.”

 

“Eh...I guess.” He mumbles and sits up straight, scratching the back of his head. “I don’t get what you mean though.”

 

“You tend to rely on others for a purpose.” She explains, petting Pichu once she hops up onto her lap. “So we’ll figure out a way for you to be more...independent.”

 

She’s smiling again, even if it’s not towards him. Although the whole purpose thing she said is...weirdly specific, and vague, it does sound like she’s well-intentioned. Gold doubts she would even have it in her to screw him over anyway, even if she is meddlesome. So he nods, offers a shrug.

 

“Okay, I guess.”

 

Jasmine’s expression brightens. “Good!” She claps her hands together. The sound it makes is oddly soft. “I have an idea, anyway.”

 

If it were anyone else, Gold’s not so sure he’d trust this idea of hers. But he’s glad it’s Jasmine and he does. She hasn’t let him down yet, after all.

 

* * *

 

_The nice thing about hanging around the gym is that Gold doesn’t have to feel guilty about keeping his Pokemon in their balls._

_Because, well, they know how to behave. They can roam around the building as long as they don’t get in the way._

_He still always takes a few with him when he leaves, but that’s a given._

_Some don’t stay at the gym, though._

_Gyarados sticks around the harbor. Once such a temperamental beast, he’s now gentle enough that Gold knows he won’t cause any problems._

_Makes a good tourist attraction, too. Not that Gold would actually turn him into one._

_Then there’s Espeon and Scizor, who hang around the gym, but rarely around Gold._

_They like Jasmine better. He tries not to be jealous._

_And finally his Ampharos. Gold’s left him at the lighthouse basically since they got there._

_It’s what he wanted, for some reason. Or maybe a super obvious reason. Gold doesn’t mind either way._

_He just hopes that once he does decide to leave, he can get all his asshole Pokemon to actually come with._

_They like it here, though. Gold figures he does too._

 

* * *

 

Somehow, Jasmine managed to find not only a job, one that holds his attention no less, but also a place where Gold can truly use what good skills he has to actually help others out. What’s even crazier is how she thought of it, and he certainly didn’t think to do this on his own.

 

A Pokemon rescue and rehabilitation center. Their goal to help injured wild Pokemon or abandoned trainer Pokemon safely return to where they came from or find a new home. It’s a great cause, obviously.

 

But what makes Gold great for it in return is his talent for just how quickly he can bond with almost any Pokemon he sets his sights on. He’s always kinda known he had a knack for that sorta thing, but applying it somewhere where it actually matters? It fits him like a glove.

 

Jasmine seems to know him so well, finding a job perfectly suited to his strengths. How on earth did she manage to read him like that?

 

Either way, he’s grateful for it, for all that she does.

 

The gig at first is just volunteer work, which Gold is perfectly fine with. He’s still got money from tournaments and his journey sitting comfortably in his bank account. It’s not money he needed after all, but something to do.

 

It’s nice there. A nice facility near the harbor, full of all sorts of Pokemon from all kinds of background. The wild ones are generally easier for him to help out with. It’s the ones from trainers, that come in abandoned or abused, that really set Gold off.

 

Not losing his temper at the thought of it all is something he’ll have to work on, obviously.

 

But the workers there like him too, or, seem to at least. They like how he’s not afraid of the more hostile Pokemon or of getting his hands dirty with whatever it takes. They like how he communicates with Pokemon and how he tells jokes to lighten the mood and doesn’t mind being the punchline to somebody else’s humor.

 

He does try to cut back on how vulgar and immature his language can be, less he make Jasmine look bad.

 

Even Pichu enjoys it inside the building. She's probably even better than Gold at making the Pokemon there warm up to strangers. To be fair, she does have an advantage.

 

He really never thought of doing something like this, but Gold likes it. He likes it a lot. Maybe not enough to give up his true dream, but until that happens, he’s more than happy to be here.

 

Hell, happy enough to keep doing it all his life. It just feels that good to him.

 

Though Jasmine doesn’t run the business, she must be close friends with the person who does. She, too, has a knack for befriending Pokemon, and tends to stop by fairly often when she has free time. Gold really can’t thank her enough.

 

One day, weeks after he’s started volunteering, Gold notices Jasmine observing them as they work, but ignores her for the time being, figuring she’s just checking in. But when it’s been several minutes and she’s still just watching, eyes blanking out like she’s lost deep in thought, Gold looks back at her finally, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Jazz?” He calls out, waving a hand at her to catch her attention. She jumps a little at his voice.

 

“Hm?”

 

“You were spacing out there.”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry, was I?” Gold nods, and Jasmine frowns, seeming embarrassed. “I apologize. I just have some things on my mind.”

 

He stares her down for a moment, waiting for her to elaborate. It only serves to make her more flustered.

 

“Uh, wanna talk about it?” He tries, hoping to help her relax some.

 

She perks up again, offering a smile. “Yes. Um, once you finish here though.” Jasmine says as she looks away, fiddling with a strand of hair. Nervous habit, maybe? “Stop by the gym sometime, alright?”

 

“Sure thing.” Gold nods and waits a few seconds to see if Jasmine has any more to say before walking off. He’s pretty sure somebody said something about an injured wild Tentacool that was giving them all trouble and he’s probably the only one with any balls to actually touch the thing.

 

Doing so earns him a nasty lash on his arm and some numbness in his extremities from being stung, but the medic at home base said he was fine, so Gold’s not worried. He’d be a lot worse if they didn’t deal with the toxins so quickly.

 

Gold now has a new understanding of what his Pokemon must feel whenever they get poisoned in battle and admires their resilience. Shit hurts.

 

(His supervisor swatted the back of his head and scolded him for being so stupidly reckless. Pichu even joined in on it, smacking him with her tail.

 

Any semblance of caring for his own safety was completely lost on Gold, though.)

 

He keeps his promise to Jasmine, even if he does arrive at the gym pretty late. Nearing dusk when he strolls in.

 

It's empty when he arrives. The gym trainers tend to leave pretty early, and it’s not like the gym’s that busy to begin with. Gold whistles as he looks around, waiting for Jasmine to pop in. He’s learned it’s better for her to sneak up on him than vice versa.

 

She might have thing limbs and delicate hands, but her punch is hard as...steel, really, when she gets spooked.

 

(An old bruise on his chest proved that point pretty well.)

 

“Oh, there you are.” A voice pipes up from behind him. Gold turns to face Jasmine, giving her a small wave. Pichu squeaks a greeting at her and joyfully accepts the berry Jasmine feeds her in return.

 

It makes him laugh. “Please, don’t spoil her. It goes to her head.”

 

“She works very hard looking after you, she deserves it. It’s a full-time job, I imagine.” Jasmine teases back before she takes Gold by the hand and leads him further into the gym. He raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t offer any sort of protest.

 

She brings him up a semi-hidden flight of stairs and passed what looks like a storage room, or at least, what looks like one. Doesn't stop until they’re out a door at the front of the building, to a fenced-in balcony just above the entrance.

 

Gold looks around, only briefly admiring the view of the city before he joins Jasmine in sitting down at the edge of the balcony.

 

Girl sure likes her dramatic settings. The ambiance really sets the mood. He supposes that's fine, to each their own.

 

His legs dangle off the side and although it’s not a fair fall, hitting the concrete sure would hurt. He makes sure to keep a good hand on Pichu, just in case she’s dumb enough to try anything.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he can tell Jasmine’s watching him with that same contemplative expression as earlier. He looks at her, giving her his full attention. From experience he knows that a person will speak their mind once they’re ready to.

 

Jasmine takes longer than others to do so, however.

 

Long enough she ends up turning her attention forward to watch the city lights dim before them, hair blowing in the gentle breezes that pass, each smelling of the sea. After a while, he mirrors her, gazing out to Olivine with her.

 

Pichu grows bored eventually, finding her way to Gold’s hood and curling up in it. He supposes being choked to death is fine, as long as she’s not falling to hers.

 

“You’re great with Pokemon, Gold.” Jasmine speaks up suddenly.

 

He raises an eyebrow at her, not sure what’s led her to say that.

 

“Oh, thanks. I try.”

 

“It’s something I’ve always noticed, ever since you helped me with Amphy in the lighthouse all those years ago.” She hums quietly, lowering her head, twirling her hair around her finger. “You have a kind heart and a way with connecting with Pokemon in such a short amount of time.”

 

Gold rubs the back of his head with a grin, his cheeks feeling a bit warmer. “Heh, Jazz come on you’re gonna make me blush.”

 

“Mm.” The corners of her mouth tug up a little. She turns her eyes to him. They’re soft, with a sense of purpose behind them. “But I’ve come to see, it’s not just Pokemon. You’re good with people too.”

 

Despite the sincerity in her tone, Gold can’t help but burst out laughing.

 

He covers his mouth, trying to stifle himself, earning a confused look from Jasmine and making Pichu growl at him from his hood. He quickly clears his throat. Pulls off his cap to fiddle with it.

 

“Sorry sorry, it’s just-“ He cuts off, nearly starting to laugh again at what she said. “Well, you’re kidding, right?”

 

She frowns, seeming taken aback. “No. Why?”

 

Gold’s not quite sure how to break the news to her that he’s a total jackass. He’d tried to be on good behavior around her, but wow was he that good at acting? “I’m _awful_ with people. Always have been. Was such a little asshole as a kid. Apparently I still am.”

 

It comes off a little too self-deprecating, which only makes Jasmine look to him with concern.

 

“Well...” She furrows her eyebrows, purses her lips briefly. Thinking. “I don’t see that honestly. I never have. Sure, you can be a bit bold, but I think that’s part of your charm.” She finishes with a gentle smile that makes Gold feel guilty for letting her believe in the good in him.

 

“Yeah well trust me, I suck and I’ve burned a lot of bridges.” Gold sighs, shaking his head. Bad memories threaten to resurface and he shoves them down without a second thought.

 

Jasmine’s smile drops. “You should learn to accept a compliment.”

 

“I will if it’s true.”

 

A silence holds between them.

 

Golds feels sorta bad for being so stubborn about it, but it’s true. He sucks, and even though Jasmine didn’t pick up on it before, maybe she will now. Maybe she’ll stop trying to help him and send him off forever and then he’ll _have_ to go home, whether he likes it or not.

 

“Um, well, I had a point I was going to make.” Jasmine speaks up, clearing her throat.

 

Shit. He frowns. “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

 

“It’s fine.”

 

It’s quiet again, tenser this time. Gold picks at a fraying seam on his hat, waiting for Jasmine to say something. When she doesn’t, he swallows his embarrassment and continues the conversation.

 

“...What was it?”

 

There’s no response. Briefly, Gold fears he actually might’ve pissed her off this time, but when he looks at her he notices her expression.

 

The tight frown, the calmness in her eyes that doesn’t match the way her fists are clenched ever so slightly in her dress. She makes eye contact for a split second, then closes them. Takes a big sigh and exhales it out.

 

“I’m considering retiring from my position as gym leader.”

 

His mouth hangs parts in shock for a moment before he remembers to close it. Dozens of questions flash through Gold’s mind as he tries to make sense of her statement.

 

“What? Why?” He sounds just as confused as he feels. Last minute, he adds something more specific, “Don’t you like it?”

 

“Of course.” Jasmine says defensively. “But I think I like the aspects that don’t necessarily tie into being a gym leader. Caring for Pokemon, working with them. I feel that maybe I’ve spent enough time here and I should move on.”

 

“Oh...wow.” Gold replies dumbly.

 

He scratches the back of his head, trying to think of something less stupid to say.

 

“You don’t like battling anymore?”

 

“Well, sure I do!” She laughs softly. “But again, I feel like I’ve spent quite a while here.”

 

He almost says ‘How long’ but she answers it as if she knew he was going to asks. “Over a decade now, you know. I’d like to go travel more, and do something different with the rest of my life.”

 

“Didn’t you go to Sinnoh recently?”

 

She nods. “Yes, that’s what made me start considering my future.”

 

“Huh...” A thought pops up in his mind that Gold tries to quiet down before he gets his hopes up. It doesn’t help.

 

 _If she retires, then you_ …

 

Gold shuts it down with a shake of his head. Asks instead a casual, “So, when were you thinking about retiring?”

 

“Probably within the next few years. And that’s why I’m glad you turned up here, Gold.” Thin hands grab both of his own, making him startle just a little. He looks her in the eyes and finds sincerity and hope staring back at him.

 

“I know you doubt yourself, but, I also know you want to be a gym leader. It does require more than just battling.” Jasmine prattles on. It's something Gold’s heard before, but he still listens. “Skills that require compassion and reliability, an understanding of both battles and people.

 

“And that’s why I think that once I do retire, I’m going to recommend you.”

 

He sucks in a sharp breath and forgets to release it.

 

...Is this really happening?

 

It feels like a dream he’s had, or like he’s somehow missed something and she isn’t actually offering what she’s offering. Gold flashes between joy and worry, excitement and apprehension, his emotions changing so quickly he might get whiplash.

 

“Wh-“ He finally remembers to let go of that breath. “You’re kidding, right?”

 

Jasmine shakes her head, giving his hands a light, reassuring squeeze. “No. You’re still young, Gold. A bit older than I was when I first began, but uh, not as mature.” Her tone is apologetic. He’s not sure why, it’s nothing that isn’t true. “I think that before I do retire, you’ll have more growing to do. But you’ll do a fine job.”

 

Jeez, it’s all too good to be true.

 

Gold’s pretty on the fence about it, waiting for her to shout it’s all a prank and for a TV crew to pop out from behind the corner.

 

But it doesn’t happen. This is real, and it’s actually an offer and a promise and-, god. He’s waiting for this for so long, and even if it’s not set it stone Gold can’t help but be excited. It’s a dream come true.

 

“Jazz I don’t know what to say.”

 

She smiles at him, gently pokes his nose to tease him. “A thank you would be a good start.”

 

Shit, of course.

 

“Yes-, oh my god, thank you.” Gold chokes out, clasping her hands in his own. Maybe a little too tightly with how she tenses at it. He’s too ecstatic to notice. “Wow. I just, I’m speechless honestly. Thank you so much.”

 

With a bit of a pull Jasmine gets her hands free from his, then moves them to rest on his shoulders. “Be patient. You have some time to wait, you should use it wisely, alright?”

 

Her lips drop to a frown. “Please don’t sit around and wait for me to retire. It won’t be good for you.”

 

Gold nods quickly. “I getcha. And uh, thanks again, I won’t disappoint you.”

 

“I know.” Her hands move as she wraps her arms around, pulling him into a hug. Jasmine’s voice is soft and sweet when she says, “You haven’t yet.”

 

Physical closeness isn’t really his thing, but Gold hugs Jasmine back anyway. Everything feels like a dream, like it’s all too perfect to be true and something is just waiting to come fuck him over. He’s done nothing to earn this, to deserve it. Yet, it’s happening. And it’s real. If Gold messes this one up, he's really never gonna forgive himself.

 

So that just means he's going to have to do better.

 

* * *

_During his 18th birthday, Gold spends it doing the thing he currently enjoys most: his job._

_And it is officially a job, now. Sure, he doesn’t make a lot, but he wouldn’t ask for it anyway._

_He’s grown comfortable in Olivine._

_The people he works with are far from his friends, but they’re nice._

_The way even the most scarred and distant Pokemon at the rehabilitation come to trust him is better, though._

_Part of him feels guilty. For not going home, for not even turning his phone on._

_He worries that his mom is worried, his friends are worried._

_..._

_Now that he’s a legal adult, there’s no where he can stay for free. If Jasmine hadn’t offered him shelter in the small flat above the gym, he’d have no excuse not to go home._

_The flat, however, isn’t that great. Dusty and dim, with most of it being used for storage. Not even a proper bed._

_So really, he doesn’t have an excuse._

_His heart feels healed now. Or at least, stable. He could go home._

_Yet..._

_Maybe if he has this hesitation, he isn’t ready._

_Close, closer than he was. But not quite there._

_..._

_One night, he looks up at the full moon, and quietly longs to see silver eyes._

_He doesn’t close the curtains until Pichu hops over and begins tugging him towards their makeshift bed._

_Gold can’t help but miss the memories of lying in his bed with Silver only a few feet away, talking to each other in the hush of the night._

_It’s truly pitiful._

 

* * *

 

The ocean is currently the only place Gold feels totally at ease. Not really because he likes swimming or anything, he doesn’t hardly know how to. It just reminds him of home. Just a little.

 

And something about the vastness of it feels almost like a comfort, maybe?

 

Not really. He's not that poetic.

 

It's Jasmine’s favorite place, though, and since he tends to be kinda aimless on his days off, he’ll follow her wherever she wants to hang out. They’re sorta friends now? Really, she’s more like an older sister to him. All wise and kind and unwilling to put up with any of his shit. He likes that a lot.

 

But her flair for the dramatic, he could live without.

 

Once she tried to symbolically trade one of her Steelix for a Pokemon of his and he had to turn her down. Who would he even choose? Who could he ever part with?

 

Like, his Ampharos would probably be living the dream hanging around Amphy, but Gold could never let him go.

 

He's getting sidetracked. Gotta live in the moment.

 

Gold’s laying on his back at an empty dock while feet hang in the water below, the feeling refreshing compared to the summer's heat. Next to him, Jasmine’s in much the same position, albeit she’s sitting instead, Pichu sprawled out in her lap.

 

A little bit of him feels kinda bad, since he’s sure she missed Kris’ Pichu. But Jasmine's been substituting in his own need for company, she might as well be Pichu's, right?

 

Either way, it's not like he can help it.

 

...Well he can, but, it's best not to stress over all of that mess.

 

(He is both the mess and the cause of the mess. But like, what's he gonna do about it?)

 

Right about now, Gold feels pretty ready for a nap. However, he knows he has to stay awake. Because although not every conversation they have has to be some life changing, eye opening type of thing, Gold can tell there will be one today.

 

Jasmine’s pretty obvious when she has something on her mind. Not that he really cares, it’s not like he has anything better to do.

 

But it would be nice to just go somewhere with her one on one and not have to emotionally prepare himself beforehand.

 

When she speaks up, Gold’s suspicions are confirmed.

 

“Can I tell you a story?” Jasmine asks, looking down at him. His arms are folded behind his head so he can’t really give a thumbs up or a proper nod, but he tries anyway.

 

“Sure.”

 

She seems a little amused by his efforts, then she sighs. Turns her head to the see and gazes out at it, looking thoughtful. Gold closes his eyes and listens.

 

“During my time in Sinnoh, I stayed mostly in a city similar to this one. It felt like home.” She explains.

 

He tunes into her voice, hearing the fondness of memories in it. “And I started to, um, grow close to the gym leader there. He was a distant man, a hurt man. Hiding from something but he always seemed to have time for me.”

 

She pauses, likely for a breath. Then goes on. “Some days, I’d only have to wait at the beach and he’d show up without me asking. It was...sweet.”

 

Gold tries not nod again, to show he’s listening. It is touching, in a way. Something out of a movie almost.

 

“But...” Her tone falters, growing weaker. “I don’t think his heart was ever really there. It took me a while, but I noticed even when he didn’t. He loved somebody else, and I knew that that person loved him too. So though it hurt, I had to tell him, and let him go.”

 

He opens his eyes and watches her. She’s still staring towards the see, her frown tight.

 

Next to her, Pichu paws at her, looking concerned. Jasmine rests a hand on her and continues. “His friend was happy to see his feelings reciprocated, and I suppose I was happy for them too. I might’ve still loved him, but I knew that it just wasn’t meant to be.”

 

“That sucks Jazz. Anybody would be lucky to have you.”

 

There’s the tiniest of laughs and she covers her mouth to hide it. “Cute, Gold. That’s only for context though.”

 

He blinks at her. “For?”

 

“You've had the same look to you as his friend did for a while now.” Jasmine states, then adds. “Longing, aching. Unreciprocated.”

 

“Ah...” Gold finally sits up, then pops his back, trying to seem nonchalant about how he’s actually feeling. How long ago did Jasmine pick up on that? Surely she would’ve said something by now. “Think so?”

 

“Mhm. And like the gym leader, you’re running from something too.” She says, her voice suddenly serious.

 

She’s staring Gold down and he sorta wants to duck away from it. “Now, I thought at first it might’ve just been your heartache, but it’s something more, isn’t it?”

 

Gold quiets, unable to look at Jasmine’s unnervingly piercing gaze. He swallows hard, feeling cold all of the sudden.

 

“How long have you been running, Gold?”

 

It’s a loaded question, and definitely not one Gold has thought about before, but it’s one he surely doesn’t want to think about now. Does it really matter?

 

He’s handling things fine, better than he was even. So what if he runs from a few things?

 

“My whole life, I guess. I’m not-...” He takes a deep breath and pulls his cap off to run his fingers back through his hair. His exhales are growing too shaky. “I don’t know how to talk about it. I never have before.”

 

“It’s okay. You don’t have to talk about it. Just think about it.”

 

It’s not like he wants to. As a matter of fact, there’s so much more Gold would rather do first.

 

And yet...he’ll try it. Just once. Just so he doesn’t have to get pestered to do it in the future.

 

He reevaluates Jasmine’s question and his subsequent answer. She’s got such an awful way of seeing right through him and asking the things that hit the hardest. And his answer had come to him out of instinct, but is it really true?

 

He doesn’t know. He really doesn’t. It never felt like he was ever running from anything, it just seemed so unlike him. But now that Gold thinks about it...

 

Well, there might be some truth to it.

 

As a matter of fact, Gold’s pretty certain there’s a lot of truth to it. Running from bullies as a kid and then running from the consequences when he became one himself. Running to become a trainer and then once he failed to become champion, running to Kanto, to Mt. Silver. From being alone to being alone to suddenly wanting to not be alone anymore. Which led to-

 

To girls. Ugh. That’s the worst part. Running to and from each one, never truly interested, just hoping to find something to hold his interest and always coming up short. Messing up with each one and ditching them before he ever had to truly apologize.

 

Running from friends he could never trust and never care about, and from friends he trusted with his life but couldn’t bear to disappoint any further. Always avoiding consequences, avoiding failures, avoiding trust.

 

Avoiding his mom. Avoiding Kris. Green. Silver…

 

Going from place to place, goal to goal, never finding something that could ever make him happy. Never being able to reach what he ever wanted, and always feeling like a failure for it. How long has this been happening?

 

It occurs to him too late that he’s lost control. That he’s gone so far into his head he feels almost isolated from the world around him. The weight of his mind crashes down on him so heavy he can’t just bounce back from it. Not with any ease, at least.

 

The most frustrating part of it all is that Gold knows he got baited. He knew what Jasmine was trying to do, and knew exactly what he was getting into when he indulged her psychoanalysis. This was completely willing on his part.

 

So why does this bother him so bad?

 

Why is he losing control?

 

Jasmine probably set out with good intentions, to help him recover and become a better person. She likes that thing, she wants to help whoever she can. And that’s okay, but...well.

 

Truth be told, Gold’s not going to. If she thought she could actually help him come to terms with his issues, he’s got bad news for her. There’s only one thing Gold knows how to do and only one thing he’s willing to do.

 

He shuts down.

 

It’s a bit harder this time around, but he still shoves every bit of emotional turmoil and every painful memory back where it belongs. He’ll accept the truth that he shouldn’t run from life anymore, but that’s it. No dealing with burned bridges. No dealing with his failures.

 

He’s shutting down. Gaining his control back. Leaving his headspace and coming back to reality.

 

As he does, he suddenly realizes his eyes feel far too wet, and he catches himself breathing in shaky, short intervals. Gold wipes his face on his sleeve, relieved to find no evidence of him actually crying. He'd never live that down.

 

Pichu's in his lap, frowning up at him. There’s a hand on his back rubbing soothing circles into it and he focuses on calming himself. Jasmine’s watching him, her expression calm and comforting and filled with so much patience and warmth his eyes almost water again.

 

God, he’s such an asshole.

 

“Stop running Gold, alright?” Her voice is as soft as her eyes are. Her hand finds its way to gently lay atop his. “Stop trying to flee to something next. You don’t have to be perfect, and you’re allowed to make mistakes. Learn from them, and grow. Don’t run.”

 

It’s like she could hear every single thing going through his head, damn her. He wants to take her advice so badly, but how can he?

 

It’s not that simple. And it’s not something he even wants to handle anymore. There’s too much that he’s done to simply sit down and try and pick apart every last one. Running from things is so much easier than dealing with them. Gold doesn’t want to deal with things.

 

He-...

 

 _Can’t_.

 

...

 

Ugh.

 

What he can do is try to change the subject.

 

“Okay. I um-“ Gold chokes up a bit too much and has to clear his throat before continuing. “Can I ask you something?”

 

Jasmine frowns at him, but nods. If she was expecting him to truly accept the revelation, he’s got bad news for her: He’ll never deal with it. That’s the way it is. He lives for the future and not in the past.

 

But that's what makes his question genuine.

 

“Did you ever stop loving him? The gym leader from Sinnoh.” He asks, hoping he doesn’t sound as pathetic as he feels.

 

His free hand finds his way to Pichu's head to calm her worries for him. Jasmine smiles at him sadly, looking back towards the sea with a small sigh.

 

“In time, yes, but I think that it was only from the distance.” She shakes her head, twirling her hair around her finger for a brief moment.

 

Then she turns to him, the hand on top of his squeezing gently. “Listen. I know you’re hurting right now. But you are not me in that story, you are the friend. You just have to wait for whoever to figure out themselves too.”

 

Jasmine smiles at him again, though this time sadness is replaced with reassuring hope. “If they return your feelings, that’s great. But if they don’t you need to let go. Or at least, you need to face it and accept it. You’re a good person, somebody will come around someday.”

 

Gold nods, looking down at the water for a moment. That’s something he can do at least. It’s a lot less baggage. He feels wrong for being so opposed to dealing with his issues when Jasmine’s trying so hard to help him.

 

Right now, he doesn’t feel like a good person.

 

But he thinks she is.

 

“Hey Jazz?” Gold speaks suddenly, looking to her. She blinks at him curiously. “You always talk about how you like making Pokemon feel better. Well I guess you help people heal, too.”

 

It’s kinda cheesy and he knows it, but Jasmine’s cheeks still flush red and she covers them with her hands, hiding her face from him. “Please, um, you’re embarrassing me.”

 

He grins, and pats her back a couple of times, careful not to do so too hard. See Jasmine, it sucks being told something so poetic and sappy, doesn’t it? He wants to tease her for all the things she’s said, but he won’t.

 

Because she’s too kind to him. She really is.

 

Gold stares back out at sea and breathes in the warm, salty air. He helps Pichu onto his shoulder and leans his head against her just a little, for the comfort of her nuzzling him back. Getting a grip on some of his issues is better than none of them, he figures.

 

There’s a big ball of mess in Gold’s head that he’s sure will come unraveling one day, but that’s not today. It might’ve been a little loosened up, but it’s not coming undone quite yet.

_He’s_ not coming undone yet.

 

Everything might not actually be okay, but it feels more okay than it was. And it feels like, maybe, it might start to get more okay too, in due time.

 

* * *

_On a day in late July, two things happen._

_The first is, Gold loses his cap._

_Down by the harbor, he was checking on the recently migrated Mantine population when a gust of wind swept his hat off to the sea._

_It’s far from the first time Gold’s had this happen._

_It is the first time he doesn’t go after it, though._

_He doesn’t know why. Before, he’s dozed down muddy ledges and into murky lake water in order to save it._

_And it showed; the 7 years of wear and tear it suffered was obvious._

_The black had faded to a dirty gray and the yellow a dingy brown. It was missing cloth in some places and it was definitely too snug for his adult-sized head._

_But, it was his cap. The same from when he first left._

_And he had always gone after it._

_This time, instead, Gold only stands up on the pier and watches it carry further and further out on the waves._

_It was old, and more of a crutch really._

_Something about seeing it disappear among blue waves stings a little._

_But it’s okay to let go._

_..._

_The second thing that happens is Gold finally turns his phone back on._

_He’s not quite sure what brought it on, but somehow, it felt like it was long overdue._

_Right away his phone buzzes to life with alerts of missed calls and far too many unanswered messages._

_Mostly from Kris, wondering where he is and what his issue is._

_Less from his mom, who likely understood Gold needed his space and that he was fine._

_A couple jokingly irritated ones from Green that only kinda mask her worry._

_One from Red. A question about a new strategy for his Pikachu that’s been unanswered for months._

_One from Blue; jokingly snarky, telling him Green won’t stop messaging him and it’s Gold’s fault for that._

_A handful from Silver. The last two a, ‘Come back home, idiot’, followed by, ‘If this was my fault, then sorry’._

_It’s the hardest thing to choke down._

_Gold takes a deep breath, then begins responding to each of the missed messages._

_Home doesn’t sound as scary as it was before._

 

* * *

 

When it was time to go, Gold knew that he would know. And although he hardly feels like a better person or like he’s truly any better off emotionally, it finally feels like...maybe it might be time. Time to go face the music and move on from it was. It’s been by a while, but when summer gets closer and closer to its end, that’s when Gold decides enough is enough. Gotta stop running.

 

That, and he doesn't think he can handle a third life-altering conversation with Jasmine. She's great, and sweet, but sometimes just too much.

 

An issue almost threatens him.

 

There’s no way he can easily travel the distance between Olivine and New Bark every single day to get to his new job, but there’s also no way he’s quitting. His supervisor is surprisingly understanding and they agree to him coming in for long shifts on the weekend. Lucky for Gold he’s so useful there and he can get away with basically whatever he needs.

 

Lucky for Gold how often things work out in his favor. It's never the things he plans on, though.

 

He says his goodbyes to Jasmine and his acquaintances at his job the afternoon before. Returns all his Pokemon, except Pichu, while he's at it. Jasmine watches him pack up what little he has in the flat that night, waiting until he’s finished before hugging him tightly as a goodbye.

 

She feels so small next to Gold. He hadn’t realized how much taller he was now compared to when they first met so many years ago.

 

Gold promises to keep in touch, and to heed her advice, even if it is sorta a half-truth. Jasmine just smiles and nods, promising in return to keep him updated on the gym situation. He thanks her for the millionth time for everything she’s done.

 

Far from the most ideal, he leaves Olivine not long before midnight. He rarely ever flies at such an hour. But Gold feels that if he waits until the morning he might change his mind and stay a little longer.

 

Travelling at night is easier, anyway. Kicks up less of a fuss when he’ll eventually land in New Bark. All that commotion is something he'd prefer to avoid.

 

Dragonite is luckily wide awake the entire trip and although he tries to do the same, Gold ends up sleeping most of the way, Pichu in his lap. It’s hardly comfortable, and he pays for it with a cramped neck when they land in front of his home hours later, but he lets it go.

 

He makes sure to return Dragonite to her ball before she can fly off to spite him. She used to struggle to ferry him for an hour at a time. Now, she can take him across the entire region overnight and still have energy left.

 

Gold supposes he’s proud of her growth. He's proud of all his team's growth. He'd like to do better by them.

 

As he heads towards the front door, Noctowl wakes from her early slumber atop the roof to hoot at him a greeting. He smiles and offers her a wave in return before turning the front doorknob as quietly as he can, sneaking in the house even quieter.

 

It’s hardly daybreak, and because his mom has work that day Gold knows she’s asleep long before her snoring upstairs gives it away. Though she doesn’t wake, he hears clumsy footsteps heading downstairs and soon sees her Bulbasaur looking at him from the bottom of the steps with sleepy eyes.

 

It cries to him quietly and trots over. Gold scratches its head, cooing to it quietly about how he missed the little guy.

 

There’s a lot of things he’s going to have to deal with. His mother’s anger, his friends’ worry, his own future. But those are problems to come across when they confront him.

 

Pichu stretches on his shoulder before she hops down to reunite with mom’s Bulbasaur. He reminds them to be quiet then sets off to the kitchen to begin preparing breakfast. Gold’s sure it’ll be enough of an apology to his mom for running off. Or at least, he hopes it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme know what you think so far! Now that we're halfway through and all <3


	9. Definitely Maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kris listens to his response quietly, lips pursed as she does. When he finally finishes his explanation, she huffs, rolling her eyes at it. He’s almost annoyed with it, thinking she’s being rude, until she says,
> 
> “Ugh, so unfair. Everything is so easy for you.”
> 
> Gold raises an eyebrow. That sure is a bold claim. He’s pretty damn sure he could list off a number of things that were far from easy for him just off the top of his head. Things that happened even within the recent year, recent months, weeks, days. Hours, if he wants to be a real dramatic baby. And yet, he still shrugs it off with his reply.
> 
> “Whenever it wants to be yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quickly, before you read any more, you should go read Good Grief, a sidefic to the last chapter! It covers what went on while Gold was MIA. Definitely fun and super cute and it should bridge the gap from what he missed back home. (It's also why this chapter took so long to get up aha. I wanted them up at the same time. It's a lot of writing okay! Forgive me plz)
> 
> More sidefics on the way at various points in the future, probably! I have some planned anyway.
> 
> I received SOOO MAANYYYY comments for the last chapter!! It made me v happy <3 Thank you all so much
> 
> Here we go, let's see if things finally work out between these too. Fingers crossed, right? ;)
> 
> (Also i am still so sorry for how long these chapters are xhsjkff plz don't hate me)

Home isn’t the same as it was when Gold left.

 

...Well, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. His actual home is just fine, quite literally the same as it was before. But that’s not what he meant.

 

Once Gold gets over his mom’s scolding and Kris’ lecture and Green trying to play off her worries and Silver’s eye rolls, he starts to realize he missed more than he thought while he was gone. It takes him a minute of course, since the attention unfortunately stays firmly on him the first few days after he’s back.

 

But after he’s worked his way passed the week of his mom’s passive-aggressiveness and his friends’ near-silent treatment, he’s able to catch on.

 

The obvious ones are Green and Kris. Their friendship hadn’t been lost on Gold before, but now it’s definitely something…

 

...More.

 

He never was able to understand how close the two could possibly be. Could hardly believe that they were somehow friends despite seeing each other maybe a handful of times a year for actual years. But somehow, in the time between when Gold left and when he came back, something _happened_.

 

And he feels just a little blindsided by it.

 

Not like he’s mad, how stupid would that be? It’s more like he doesn’t understand. Last he remembers was them being chummy and always having a laugh at Gold’s expense. Two heads of the same kind of bitch. Annoying as all hell, but clearly platonic. Something he could tolerate and ignore with ease.

 

Now though, he sees them in a different light. They’re, _literally_ close now. Their hands are always together, or their arms around each other. Gold’s an idiot but he’s not blind, he can tell that they kiss each other every time he or somebody else leaves them alone in a room for a minute.

 

The worst he feels is a little betrayed? Mostly because neither of them has told them what they were to each other. And that’s cool, maybe it’s just not Gold’s business. But also, maybe it should be?

 

Whatever. It doesn’t matter.

 

He’s got far more pressing concerns than worrying about Kris and Green’s love life. Mostly because he’s more worried about his own.

 

Since now he has to re-evaluate how he feels about Silver.

 

He knows for certain he came on too strongly before, rushed into asking him out too soon. Gold was so worried about missing the moment that he failed to think his feelings and actions through. Unsurprising, what’s new, but now that he has to face Silver, having probably ruined any chance in dating him, he has to think about his stupid feelings again.

 

It’s not as tense between them as it was, but it’s still there. Down the line, it will become a problem if Gold doesn’t check himself.

 

So how does he feel?

 

Silver’s still attractive, that much is certain. He’s even more so now that Gold hasn’t seen him for long. Finally taller than him again, albeit only by a few centimeters, and his red hair has grown back down to his shoulders. It looks better that way, in Gold’s opinion, short hair doesn't suit him. Lanky, but not as twiggish as before.

 

Gold doesn’t see it right away, but he does pick up on the fact that Silver had his ears double pierced on one side at some point.

 

It’s cool, somewhat. Only he could pull it off.

 

...Once Gold’s finished thirsting over how he looks he can safely square away that yep, he’s still got a crush on him, that’s that. Is it still worth pursuing then, he asks.

 

Well, right away, he already knows the answer. Besides the looks, there’s a lot Gold’s missed about Silver. His voice, his temper, his words, his all. Even if they’re both pretty awkward around each other, there’s something about the way Silver can match Gold’s venom with his own that he’s severely missed.

 

He seems more mature now, too. Calmer. Hot-headed as always, but there’s a way he composes himself that would maybe come off intimidating to anyone other than the people close to him. _Maybe_ , Gold reiterates.

 

But is the pursuit worthwhile?

 

...Yeah, probably.

 

Green’s informed him that Silver was seeing a few other people in the time Gold was gone. Who, and for how long, he doesn’t ask. It’s another thing that doesn't concern him after all. But it both bothers him and doesn’t at the same time.

 

For the obvious that Silver was already moving on, and for the less obvious: that he wasn’t.

 

If he really moved on, then he’d still be trying to date even after Gold came back. But he wasn’t. Didn't bring it up, didn't talk about anybody else to the girls. And maybe that’s a shitty, frail thing for his ego to latch onto in hopes of Silver maybe liking him back, but it is what it is. It’s enough for Gold.

 

Time heals all wounds, or at least some of them. A bandaid slapped on surely isn’t enough to fix what Gold and Silver have done and said to each other. But it’s enough for Gold to see that neither him nor Silver were sufficient in snubbing out their feelings for each other.

 

It’s just something they’re both dancing around, for whatever reason.

 

Which is fine.

 

Really, it is.

 

Gold has more pressing matters to deal with, anyway. It’s good to know at least that he’s not suddenly cold-hearted, but he’s not head over heels in love either. He’s got this under control.

 

Coming back, it’s just hard, for more reasons than bitter romance and friends whose lives continued without him. For reasons that actually matter and for reasons that don't.

 

It reminds him that out of everyone he knows, he’s the one who’s lagging the furthest behind in terms of progress.

 

Kris is going to be graduating this spring and she’s already got a huge head start on her college classes. That’s not even mentioning the loads of work she’s already put towards her researching career by helping out Elm and Oak and everybody else she could convince to let her join in.

 

Green’s got her own place in a whole new region from the one she grew up in and has a decently good job. Silver too, though Gold’s not exactly sure what he does but he at least has a place to show for it.

 

Even his mom has reconnected with her parents and got a promotion at her job. And all of them have way more emotional stability and maturity than Gold does. Or it seems like they do.

 

Which is fantastic, good for them. Don't get him wrong, he's not bitter.

 

He just kinda feels he’s falling behind in life.

 

Even with his job in Olivine holding steady, he applies and gets accepted for another as a battle instructor at the school in Violet City too. Then another at an institute in Goldenrod aimed for an older demographic than just kids. For something to do, to feel like he's actually contributing to life somehow. They’re both part-time, so it’s fine, no risk in burning himself out working 60 hours a week.

 

And of course they’d want Gold, with all the experience and prestige he has, so it’s not like that was ever a worry. Still, he feels stressed about…

 

Honestly he doesn't know. He can't put a word to it. But it's there and it bothers him.

 

Everybody seems to have moved forward without him. He’s doing his best to catch up but it feels like he’s missing something, failing somewhere. His love life’s stuck on the decisions of one indecisive redhead, his social life keeps faltering, but at least with him working six days of the week, he’s not home enough to think about it.

 

Gold’s relieved to know that no matter what, it seems his friends still wanna hang out with him. No matter how rare the opportunity might be nowadays.

 

It’s still something.

 

...

 

But being an adult fucking sucks.

 

...

 

At least he has something to hold onto now. The gym in Olivine calls to him, a promise he’s so longing to fill already, but Gold’s not running towards it. Not yet.

 

It just gives him hope.

 

So in the meantime, he’ll manage.

 

* * *

 

_Gold has had to do many difficult things in his life._

_But giving up his Pokemon willingly is probably the hardest._

_Most of his team has adjusted perfectly to coming back home._

_Except one._

_In hindsight, he should’ve known better. That taking Ampharos from the lighthouse was a bad idea._

_He sulks around the house, glares at Gold, hides away from the other team members and strays out at night further than he should._

_And so, there’s only one thing he could do._

_It takes a while, but once he gets the goodbyes said to his other Pokemon, and a confirmation this is what Ampharos wants, he lets go._

_Lets him go while he’s in Olivine for his shift, at the lighthouse, with Jasmine and Pichu and Amphy and Ampharos sobbing their goodbyes._

_To which, Gold was embarrassed to haven’t felt so choked up._

_He’ll see him again, of course he will, and so will his other Pokemon. It’s not a permanent goodbye._

_But letting go hurts, nonetheless. Gold will be fine, though._

_He'll manage._

_..._

_When he returns home after that weekend, one Pokeball short, it’s nearly Silver’s birthday._

_He fears a repeat of last year, where awkward relations made Silver stay away from them, all of them, and spend the day alone._

_It’s the last thing Gold wants._

_But this time, it’s different._

_Silver comes around. They hang out with their friends. Green makes Silver laugh and Kris makes Gold feel calm and Mom is happy to see Silver around and so the day is good._

_And that night, Gold and Green split a bottle of wine that was for them all that the other two sternly refused._

_Then Gold talks about letting go of Ampharos without totally meaning to._

_Suddenly Kris is comforting him, then a blubbering Green, and Silver is looking to him with masked softness, the kind he hasn’t seen in so long now._

_Gives Gold a few short words of comfort. An even shorter, terse hug._

_Probably betting that Gold would be too buzzed to remember anything, but he’s no lightweight._

_He could never forget._

_It just makes him wonder; if Silver’s willing to show affection under this pretense, why won’t he normally?_

_They’re so close, getting closer, but still far away from getting anywhere._

_It’s like Gold never left._

_And that’s...not totally a good thing._

 

* * *

 

Autumn approaches faster this year it seems, to the point it flies by and it's nearing winter before Gold can catch his breath. This time last year, he was almost a different person. While that has its benefits for sure, it makes him feel like a stranger in his own life sometimes.

 

Even now, he feels like he hasn’t quite settled back into his old routine, being this new kind of man and it’s…

 

Well, strange, to say the least.

 

Life keeps him busy most of the time. It’s probably the most jarring thing; as a teenager he seemed to have so much time and so little to do. Now though, he’d kill for a little breathing room. It’s what’s making him feel so behind on everybody’s lives.

 

So much so, it takes until _December_ for him to finally get the gist of what's going on with Kris and Green.

 

Gold invites Kris over to his house on the pretense of some dumb “Pichu playdate”, a term Green jokingly made up that makes Gold cringe every time he hears it. But having somebody over is significantly easier than trying to invite them out. Because then he has to worry about schedules and times and not being late, has to pick a place and if they cancel then they have to reschedule...

 

And good lord he feels old already.

 

He shakes it from his mind and brings up the situation to Kris as subtly as he can. Just simply, what’s up with you and Green, is there something he’s missing, whatever whatever. Her face reflects her surprise, then turns terse, cheeks red with whatever embarrassment she’s feeling.

 

He doesn’t really get it, but he tells her to take her time with whatever she needs to think about.

 

His focus wanders a bit. First to distracting their Pokemon, because Pichu has this nasty habit of stealing the spotlight off everybody else for herself. Frankly, Gold doesn’t have the time to waste.

 

Once that’s squared away, he lets his thoughts stray further as the minutes drag on.

 

His work schedule for that week, the groceries he needs to buy for dinner that night, a way to cover his now electric-type deficient team. All the while, Kris is still sitting so stiffly on his bed…

 

(Seriously, is it that big of a deal? He basically already knows what she’s going to say, he just wants confirmation.)

 

...Having a girl in his room has always been weird to him, for obvious reasons, but for now it’s a different reason. He should probably clean out all his childhood things sometime, maybe even move out one day...

 

“So...um. Jeez this is kinda hard to say.” Kris speaks up after what feels like an eternity. Gold gives her his full attention, quietly wondering if he should’ve been more specific with his questions.

 

After a moment of hesitation, she’s continuing. She’s still tense, nervous even. Gold’s not sure why.

 

Until...

 

“I like girls. Like-like, y’know?” Kris stops, then laughs a little, fiddling with her sleeve nervously. “Gross, it’s so juvenile to say it like that.”

 

Wow.

 

Not even close to what he was looking for.

 

Being specific was definitely the route he should’ve gone for. Now he either has to pretend to be shocked or be truthful about already knowing.

 

It's always the latter with him.

 

“Oh, I already knew that.” Gold says, waving her off with his hand. It’s meant to be more reassuring than dismissive, but who knows how she’ll take it. “It’s chill, no worries.”

 

Naturally, he doesn’t get the reaction to that he wanted either.

 

“Wh-!!” Kris cries out in surprise, eyes wide, face somehow even more scarlet now. She stutters for a moment, then carries on with, “How did you know?!”

 

Jeez, her exasperation really makes him want to roll his eyes. He doesn’t, though.

 

“I saw some girl kissing you at that one party I took you too.” He explains, shrugging. “Also, you and Green are super obvious, so. Yeah.”

 

He figures he’s in the clear for some reason. But when Kris’ fists connects hard against his upper arm, and he’s earned a glare to match it, Gold realizes too late that that was a stupid thing to think.

 

“Ugh!! You suck!” She gripes at him, so frustrated sounding.

 

Gold genuinely can’t figure out what the issue is.

 

By now, Pichu has made her way over to check on him, clearly concerned. Kris’ Pichu, on the other hand, seems to be glaring him down with an unreasonable amount of hatred. Gold pouts, resting his hand on Pichu’s head to comfort her. His arm is throbs, numb feeling.

 

It takes him a few seconds of debating over moping or getting over it for him to ask something. A very simple, borderline irritating something.

 

“Why?”

 

Unsurprisingly, her reply is immediate.

 

“I thought so hard about how to come out to you and what to say! I was expecting a hug or something you jerk.” Kris huffs and crosses her arms, pouting, sulking. Now he’s definitely rolling his eyes.

 

“Ha! Come on, it’s not a big deal.”

 

“It kinda is.”

 

She’s frowning at him, close to a scowl.

 

All he can do is snort out another laugh. “I never told you about what I was, did I?”

 

Vagueness isn’t something Gold likes to do, but for once he’ll let it slide. Kris understands what he means by that, or she should by now at least.

 

He doesn’t really...know how to label himself. It feels too weird to even try.

 

Being indirect is easier for him.

 

“No, but...” Her anger falters quickly, morphing into something much worse. Much more...solemn. Ashamed, almost. She’s not looking at him when she says, dejection in her voice, “Look okay this was a big deal to me. I spent so long confused about myself.”

 

Huh.

 

Well now he feels like an insensitive jerk.

 

That’s the last thing he wanted to be, especially since this is apparently a delicate subject...

 

How was he supposed to know?

 

Silver was like that too, when they first talked about this sort of thing. Taken aback by Gold's response, how indifferent he was. Is that why he got so pissed off? Surely, there's no way he actually struggled with this like Kris apparently did.

 

Right…?

 

“Oh, sorry.” Gold says quickly, scratching the back of his head, looking away from Kris. He actually feels really bad, for some reason. “Didn’t mean to sound like an ass. I guess I figured it wasn’t a big deal because I didn’t feel any of that.”

 

“What?” She asks, her brows furrowing in confusion. It’s sorta embarrassing, her perplexation. Now he gets how she felt when he brushed her off minutes ago.

 

“Yeah I don’t know.” Gold distracts himself by rubbing Pichu’s wonky ear how she likes. Is this seriously so complicated for everybody else? “It just kinda clicked and I figured it made sense so I didn’t question it. Girls are hot, guys are hot.” He shrugs. “S’whatever.”

 

Kris listens to his response quietly, lips pursed as she does. When he finally finishes his explanation, she huffs, rolling her eyes at it. He’s almost annoyed with it, thinking she’s being rude, until she says,

 

“Ugh, so unfair. Everything is so easy for you.”

 

Gold just raises an eyebrow, because that sure is a bold claim. He’s pretty damn sure he could list off a number of things that were far from easy for him just off the top of his head. Things that happened even within the recent year, recent months, weeks, days. Hours, if he wants to be a real dramatic baby.

 

And yet, he still shrugs it off with his reply.

 

“Whenever it wants to be yeah.”

 

There’s quiet as he waits for her to say something back, but much to his frustration, she seems to be staring off into space.

 

...Almost on _purpose_ , really.

 

Lame as hell.

 

He watches her for a good minute, hoping she’ll crack under his gaze and start talking again. But as the minutes drag on, and Pichu hops out of his lap to go play with her friend, bored with Gold’s pampering, he finally lets out a sigh.

 

“So are you and Green actually dating, or-...?” He gives in, asking the question he should’ve started with.

 

Kris seems a little satisfied at his caving. Or, maybe that smile’s more in relation to what she replies with.

 

“We are, yeah.” She nods. “That’s um, what I was gonna get into but so much for that.”

 

Her petty jab doesn’t faze him whatsoever. Instead, Gold merely nods, resisting his urge to literally shrug her off again. “Well, good for you two.”

 

“Yeah.” Kris smiles harder, twirling her hair around her finger. Nervously, but it’s girly enough to be cute. Is it weird for Gold to think it’s cute? It’s cute, not her, so whatever. “She asked me to move in with her once I finish school in spring, too.”

 

Oh.

 

That snaps him out of his stupid train of thought.

 

He raises an eyebrow at the statement. At first, he feels a bit old-fashioned for thinking it’s a little too soon to be doing that. But then again, if he had only been dating someone for a few months at _most_ , he thinks that it’d be reasonably weird to move in with them. Or even making plans to move in.

 

“Wow, really? Seems so early for that.” Gold tells her as nicely as he can. He doesn’t want to step on any toes or cause a fight, because it’s not his business at the end of the day.

 

Kris doesn’t seem offended at least, but she still frowns at him.

 

“Well, it's for college, I guess. And I mean, we were friends beforehand and it was something I was likely to already do, so not much has changed really...” She explains, clearly not seeing what Gold’s problem is.

 

She thinks about something for a brief moment, enough to need to add, “Now we’re just friends that kiss and cuddle and share a bed and whatever.”

 

Huh. So that’s why she doesn’t seem bothered by her relationship moving so quickly.

 

The way she phrased it sounds so casual, so obvious, but it’s a perspective Gold’s never considered.

 

And the more he thinks about it, the more it honestly sorta makes sense?

 

When he’s approached relationships, he’s always treated them as separate things than he does friendships. That had seemed normal for him. But then again, he had never tried dating an actual _friend_ before, not one of his real ones.

 

It makes him wonder: is that why he went wrong with Silver? Did he try too hard to push them towards they weren’t? And hell, maybe that’s why none of his other dating attempts worked in the past, either. A wiser part of him suggests that he was trying to form a bond with somebody he didn’t know and that’s why they all failed.

 

But his normal, stupid self basically tunes out all reason to it.

 

Still, Gold feels enlightened suddenly, almost. Like he’s seeing a whole new perspective he should’ve considered sooner. It’s just a shame it’s pretty much too little, too late.

 

He’s happy for his friends obviously. He’s happy Kris and Green found something he couldn’t and are making it work in ways he wouldn’t. Once he’s done with his ill-timed epiphany, Gold promises Kris he’ll help her move if she decides to, and that he’ll stick up for her in front of her mom if she needs him to.

 

He doesn’t miss the way relief flashes in her eyes as she grins at him.

 

Gold does wish he could do something with this newly presented information, but he’ll save it for a later date when he actually needs it. Friends are all he needs for now, anyway.

 

...That's what he tells himself, at least. It's not totally untrue, or completely like he's giving up. For now, it does its job.

 

* * *

 

_The holidays have never meant much to Gold._

_Not as a kid, not as a teenager, and not now as an adult._

_His mom’s the same way. It’s the gift giving, mostly. And annoying things like music and commercials and advertisements._

_(By the end of the season he’s sent chocolates and candies and fudge to well over two dozen people. Gym leaders, the two professors, Blue, Red...Lance._

_So much money wasted, so many cards sent.)_

_If Gold could choose, he’d only reluctantly shove something at his close friends and mom and call it a day._

_Though…_

_This year is different._

_This year, on Christmas Eve they go see his mom’s parents, and her sister, and her sister’s family, and have dinner there._

_It’s a mostly boring evening. Lots of comments on how old he is, how big he’s grown, what he’s been up to._

_Only cool part was talking to his cousin._

_Wannabe trainer, a couple years too young still. Nice kid, cute starter. Gold promised to get him one from Elm too. To be nice and all._

_They’re not bad people. But it’s so...domestic. And boring._

_And “normal”._

_So even though Gold behaves and is outgoing for his mom, he can’t wait to get home._

_…_

_The next day, he’d like to hang out with his friends._

_But Kris has her own family (this year might very well be her last one living with them) and Green went back to Kanto. Which is fair._

_So that just means it’s him and his mom._

_And...Silver. Who his mom invited over too._

_Finally, an excuse to hang around him all day. A true miracle._

_He gives Silver the things he’s bought for him. And much to his surprise, Silver gives him something back._

_A new hat._

_Black and gold, the same colors as his old one when it was new. It’s almost identical._

_The yellow stripe is thinner and there’s no red Pokeball on the front, but it fits even better. It’s as good as the old one._

_Really, it’s better. Because it’s from Silver._

_The day goes good. Mom’s in high spirits, Silver seems to be enjoying himself, and Gold doesn’t mind the holidays for once, just this time._

_And though things still stay a little awkward between the two of them, it looks that, for the most part, all is forgiven._

 

* * *

 

Either everybody is seriously terrible at hiding their intentions, or Gold is an expert at picking up on it.

 

Whichever it is, it’s not his fault. They just need to get better at the subtle act of, well, subtlety.

 

The worst person at it that he knows of is easily Kris. For a while, Gold wondered if maybe Jasmine was up to par with her, until it occurred to him that Jasmine’s staging of things was always intentional. She wanted people to know what she was looking for and what she was expecting of the conversation, and Gold considered that perfectly acceptable.

 

But Kris? Kris flat out sucks at it.

 

Maybe if she would stop trying to be subtle and just barrel forward with her intentions like Silver and Green and his mom do, it wouldn’t be so bad. But it’s her pitiful acts to dance around the point that really gets on his nerves. And on a frigid day in late winter, during their walk to Cherrygrove, he’s in no mood to indulge any of it.

 

It’s a little mean, to continuously shut down all her attempts at gently bringing up whatever she’s trying to get at. He should just humor her for once.

 

But honestly, what’s the point when she sucks so _bad_ at it.

 

This is the first they've seen each other in person in a few weeks, so it makes sense she's dying to ask about something that's been on her mind for a while. But Gold is not in the mood to indulge her games.

 

It gets tiring enough to where he finally has enough and has to stop walking, telling her to get on with whatever she’s plotting already. He makes sure to jab in that her sly, non-confrontational method about asking things is so boring, just to be a jerk. Kris looks at him dumbly for a moment, then her lips press into a tight frown. A huff, a cross of the arms.

_Sulking_ , Gold thinks immediately, but doesn’t say out loud.

 

“Well?” He urges instead, wanting to get whatever it is over with already. His annoyance is plain in his tone and probably showing on his face.

 

Kris matches it with narrowed eyes, clearly unhappy Gold won’t play her little game. He has no expectations to where the conversation is going, so when she bluntly asks, “Why _did_ you date so many girls?”, he’s neither caught off guard nor is he prepared for it.

 

Really, all it does is make him more annoyed.

 

Rolling his eyes like a moody teenager and shoving his hands into his coat pockets, he retorts, “You people act like it was so much.”

 

He wants to add that it’s also none of their business, why he does what he does, but Kris is already speaking before he can.

 

“Actually, me and Silver did the math.” She starts very matter-of-factly. Gold nearly rolls his eyes again, until he hears the statistics. “19 girls give or take, with your average being seventeen days for each, over the course of almost 3 years.”

 

...

 

Well that’s a number larger than he was expecting.

 

Somehow, it feels both wildly exaggerated and maybe not high enough at the same time. Gold tries to think back on all of them, trying to recall the names of all of his ex-girlfriends. There’s no way that adds up right…

 

Unless they’re counting flings? Well, flings is a strong word, mostly just girls he made out with at parties, but...

 

It’s not like it changes much. He already knew he’s been kinda a douche in the past.

 

Now he has the numbers for it.

 

In the end, what he says perfectly reflects how stupid he feels.

 

“Holy shit.”

 

“Yeah.” Kris frowns at him, likely displeased with his response. “So you see why I’m asking, right?”

 

“I guess.” He says just as stupidly as before. It’s more indifferent this time, and he matches it with a shrug. “Wish you would’ve been upfront about it.”

 

“Noted.”

 

And when Gold clearly takes too long to respond for her liking, she sneers a snide, “Well?”, in the same fashion as his moments earlier.

 

Touché Kris, touché.

 

But now she’s a different kind of obvious. This isn’t her question. If he was still in that bad mood, he might brush her off yet again. He’s a little curious too though. And he did promise himself not to run from anything anymore and, well, ignoring her question is sorta like running away isn’t it?

 

Except, it’s not as if he knows what to say. Is confusion and obliviousness the same as running from it? He’s not sure.

 

So he just starts babbling, hoping the truth will come the more he talks.

 

“I don’t really have an answer though.” Gold admits right off the bat, so Kris knows exactly what she’s getting into. “Like, I’ve thought about it and all.”

 

(A lie. Half-lie, honestly. He’s thought about it a little, but never tried to get to the root of the issue.)

 

It didn’t matter though. Because it gradually dawns on him as he continues. “I think I was just tired of being alone, maybe. And I wanted somebody, anybody. They were all cute too, don’t get me wrong.”

 

Kris almost looks like she’d accept that as an answer, but Gold knows it’s not the full truth.

 

So he tells it to her bluntly. “But they were boring. And when I pushed them away, it was too easy. Like they didn’t want to be there either.”

 

 _Shallow_ , a voice plays in his head. Gold frowns as the thought seems to flash in Kris’ mind too.

 

He really is the worst, huh.

 

For once, Kris doesn’t seem to dwell on his shortcomings. There’s something else she’s searching for, a different point she’s trying to prove. Gold sighs out an icy breath and shuffles his foot in the thin layer of snow covering the path. God, why does everybody have to take so long to get it over with already?

 

“Is that why you like Silver?” She asks, hesitating before adding an apprehensive, “Or...liked, maybe.”

 

Ah, that’s where she’s going with this. Figures.

 

Gold nods anyway. “Yeah. I hate to admit it but he really was kinda a constant in my life, even if he did suck.” He laughs, waiting for one in return. When all he gets is a tiny smirk, he continues, feeling a bit bummed about the sucky response he got.

 

“Couldn’t push him away, couldn’t get rid of him." He hates having to open up and talk about his feelings. But the truth is the truth, so he continues. “I don’t know, he’s never boring either. And even back when I hated him, he was always interesting to me.”

 

Kris tilts her head to the side some, looking like Pichu when she’s curious about something. “Why’s that?”

 

“I could never read him.” He says then stops, bites his lip for a moment, trying to place together his thoughts. “But he never intimidated me. And I can read him better now but, I don’t know. I like his bitterness and his bitchiness because I also know about the softness underneath.”

 

His gaze lowers to the path below them. Despite the chilly air, his cheeks feel warm. Especially as he admits, “Makes me feel special.”

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Kris smiling at him.

 

“That’s sweet Goldy.” She tells him, with a bit too much sincerity in her voice. His face burns even hotter and he huffs.

 

“I guess.”

 

After nothing’s said between them for a good minute, Gold begins to walk again, Kris matching his pace after a second of hesitation. Though quiet for now, he knows it won’t last long. There’s probably more she wants to say, after she soaks in all he’s told her. He braces himself, expecting the worst possible questions and pestering.

 

It takes her a few minutes, whatever it is. Gold relishes in the peace and quiet for as long as it lasts.

 

But it never lasts for long. In short time, Kris is looking back up at him, curious and nosey per usual.

 

“Are you going to start dating again?”

 

Ah yes, more ‘none of your business’ questions. He’s already this far deep in, he might as well indulge her further.

 

“I don’t know.” Gold sighs out, his breath turning white as it hits the air. “I should, right? It’s not like I have a chance with him.”

 

A bitter feeling hits him and he quickly pushes it down, not letting it show as he keeps talking. “But I don’t really want to move on. I don’t think we’re soulmates or meant to be or anything, that shit’s not real.”

 

In his peripheral vision, he thinks he sees Kris frown at him for that one. Maybe that’s something she believed in or whatever, if that’s what that look’s even for. But it’s not his problem if she gets butthurt over it. She wants the truth right?

 

So he delves further into the truth. The far-too humiliating and naive truth, something Gold has tried to keep locked up for years now. And going on about it, it’s...

 

It...admittedly feels a little good. To get it off his chest.

 

“But I also don’t want to be with anyone else right now. I trust Silver. I like Silver. I think he’s attractive and fun and whatever.” His cheeks feel burning, making him scratch at them, as if that’d help. At least no one else but Kris is around. “Even if I did try dating, I’d probably just be doing what I did before. Trying to find someone to fill the void and loneliness.”

 

“Huh.” Kris says, staring off for a moment thoughtfully. Then she asks, “Do you think he was what you were looking for back then?”

 

“Absolutely not. I couldn’t stand him, remember?” He reminds her. “But maybe it was the concept of him I was looking for.”

 

Without thinking, Gold’s hand finds its way to mess with his cap as he continues. “Someone I already was close too, who let me be me and didn’t expect anything more. Someone who could be honest with me. Tell me how it is, because I’d do the same for them.”

 

By the time he’s finished, Kris is looking at him far too earnestly. “That’s so sweet. You’re such a softie.”

 

Her teasing at the end makes up for it, but he still feels so embarrassed by what he’s told her.

 

“God, shut up.”

 

He hears her laugh at that and huffs in annoyance in return. For some reason, he’s expecting her to want to ask more.

 

But there’s not much left for her to ask, right? Kris probably thinks she’s covered enough ground, learned enough about him to relay back to whoever she plans on gossiping too.

 

Ah, yes. That reminds him. Gold has one more thing he wants to mention.

 

“Hey Kris?”

 

He glances down at her, just for a brief moment. Enough to notice how her expression perks with interest.

 

“Yeah?”

 

Bait taken, Gold cools his voice to a practiced chill and turns only his eyes towards her, gaze as icy as his tone.

 

He has a point to make.

 

“When you finish your report back to Silver, make sure you tell him someday he should actually talk to me about this.” Realization makes Kris’ eyes widen and his own narrow. He scoffs, adds, “Y’know, instead of having you do the dirty work.”

 

For a second, nothing more is said, not while Kris is making her own judgements on what Gold said, what he meant, how utterly _obvious_ she’s been the entire time. And then, her expression morphs into displeasure, and she pushes him to the side for good measure before she crosses her arms and tells him to shove it.

 

Gold hardly stumbles off the path and keeps walking back where he was. He doesn’t care if she’s sulking again. It’s been what, the third time that day? She’ll be back to chatting his ear off before they can reach town.

 

Maybe she’ll learn a little lesson on how to actually get information from people.

 

Gold doubts it, but he can hope.

 

Of course, he hopes that after the message gets relayed, someone else will learn a lesson too and something will change for the better.

 

But knowing their track record, it won't.

 

(And frankly, that's kinda getting on his nerves too.)

 

* * *

_Isolation is a feeling Gold hasn’t known in a long time._

_And right now, it’s pretty unfounded, considering he’s not actually on his own._

_But sometimes it's starting to feel like it._

_People are busy, and that’s fine, so is he. It would be stupid to be mad._

_It’s just...hard._

_Knowing how Kris and Green are so wrapped up with each other, how his mom is routinely making trips to Violet City to see her family, how..._

_How Silver is._

_How is Silver?_

_Gold doesn’t really know._

_Maybe that’s why he feels so...lonely._

_He always wonders if Silver gets lonely too, over there, living all alone in a big, empty city._

_But maybe it’s all that he’s used to._

_Gold wishes he could change that. Show him how much people care, how much people want him around._

_Except on bad days like this, Gold’s not even sure if anybody wants him around either._

_~~Which is complete bullshit and he knows it.~~ _

_..._

_There are good days though._

_Good days where he hangs out with his friends. Goes with Mom to see her family. Helps his cousin train up his Marill with Pichu. Sees some clip of himself on an old battle special on TV._

_Days where Silver texts. Where he calls. Where they hang out at his apartment and laugh and bicker and battle and everything’s like old times again._

_Where they ignore the elephant in the room and act like everything is as good as it should be._

_So it’s not all bad, not like he thinks it is._

_Finding the balance. It's hard._

_..._

_Silver means the world to him, though Gold would never admit it._

_He just wishes he could tell him how he feels without overstepping._

_Again._

_..._

_Gold hates playing the waiting game._

_Especially when he knows Silver never seems like he’ll make the first move._

_Stalemate._

 

* * *

 

Grandiose displays of affection have never been Gold’s strong suit. More often than not, the harder he tries, the worse it backfires, if history is any indicator of how things work out.

 

So why is it so damn impossible for him to show he cares about someone in a natural way?

 

Gold is tired of this joke of a game him and Silver are playing. He figured it would be best to let Silver take it however slowly he needs, but it seems he’s just as worried about overstepping as Gold is. Which is a little ridiculous, considering who was the one who confessed and got rejected.

 

No use in dwelling on that, though.

 

There’s no way he’s doing that again. No, if they’re going to actually get together, it’s Silver who has to initiate it. And considering how "content", or really, "indifferent" he seems to act about this whole drawn out romantic tension thing, that may take forever.

 

So there’s nothing wrong with giving him a little push in that direction, right?

 

And that’s where his plan starts taking shape.

 

If there’s anything Gold’s missed more than Silver himself, it’s battling. During his time in Olivine, he felt like he hadn’t had a good solid battle in so long. Silver must’ve felt the same way, because it’s one of the first things they did once the awkwardness settled aside.

 

They make occasional trips to the Battle Frontier whenever they can too, for something more chance-based than facing each other. It feels like it used to be; learning off each other so they can dominate elsewhere. Something to look forward to during the weekly grind beyond a distant promise of a gym one day in the future.

 

(Gold’s taken Silver to meet Jasmine too, obviously. They always stop by when they’re in town. Jasmine really likes Silver, and Gold’s caught the knowing glances she’s given him, as if to say, “I know why you picked this one”.

 

It’s _so_ embarrassing. Luckily, Silver never seems to see them.)

 

Silver’s conceded to trying out the double battle circuits, too, for a first. Battling alongside him, well, it’s incomparable to most other experiences.

 

Neither of them are concerned about winning anymore, this is for fun and fun alone.

 

...And, well, okay it’s a little competitive, when they face each other.

 

But when hasn’t it been?

 

All this gives Gold an idea though. An idea towards the push he’s planning.

 

Being there with Silver jogs his memory. He remembers that when they first entered the Battle Frontier, they both had clear goals in mind. It’s a bit unfair that Gold’s basically guaranteed his to be fulfilled now, but Silver hasn’t been able to yet. Maybe it’s a bit too far in the past, but it’s something Gold’s betting on regardless.

 

Arranging a one on one battle with Lance seems easy on paper, but Gold knows firsthand how hard it is to get that guy to do anything in a timely manner if it isn’t League related. So he has to do it the hard way, the complicated way, but maybe it’ll be better?

 

Either way, Gold sets up an appointment for Silver’s League challenge at the end of April.

 

So, okay, Lance is on the line, that’s settled. Now convincing Silver to go through with it, that’s going to be a whole set of problems Gold’s already dreading.

 

There’s no subtle way to surprise Silver with this. Like sure, he could drag Silver to the League and tell him then, but that’s more likely to make Silver explode with anger than get him to go through with it.

 

Instead, he confronts him a couple weeks before the set date. Too early would’ve given Silver time to back out, and too soon would’ve put him on edge.

 

(Gold knows exactly how to manage him, a skill he’s rather proud of, all things considered.)

 

The day he brings it up, he makes sure to take Silver out to eat beforehand, so he won’t be bitchy about that. And he obviously brings Pichu with too, since he knows how Silver wouldn’t fly off the handle if she was there to steady him. Basically like how people wouldn’t scream in front of a child. Foolproof.

 

Gold explains his reasoning for doing it, but not his true motive. Just says it’s something Silver should do before he’s too old, before it’s too much of a distant dream. He tries to throw in little quips against Lance too, to really fire up the redhead. The entire time, Silver listens silently, expression near unreadable.

 

Once he’s finished, he expects insults thrown his way. Names and sneers and everything he always associates with Silver’s bad attitude.

 

Instead, he receives a terse, “I don’t want to do that.”

 

...Which is not what he was anticipating, but Gold can work with this kind of reaction. A calm Silver is so much easier to manage than an angry one any day.

 

“Why not?” Gold challenges in the nicest voice he can manage.

 

It still makes Silver narrow his eyes, but his voice stays level.

 

“Because. I don’t need or desire the attention.”

 

 _Bullshit_ , Gold thinks but doesn’t say. After all, that’d start a fight, and that’s not at all what he’s looking for. He knows how to be smart about this, about getting him to do what he wants. Or at least, steer him that direction.

 

“You challenged before though. And lost, right?” He says innocently, earning an immediate venomous glare. Gold holds his hands up in front of him defenselessly. “I told you man, I can always tell when you’re lying.”

 

“Piss off.”

 

“Look, you clearly want to. Or at least, want the pleasure of really sticking it to Lance. Who doesn’t.” He pauses for a laugh, feeling way too proud for getting a snort out of Silver. “You don’t need to be scared of losing. Because you won’t.”

 

“What makes you so sure of that, Mr. Perfect.” Silver sneers coldly.

 

Gold just blinks in surprise for a long moment. Because that’s a new one.

 

On a long list of nicknames Silver’s given him, that somehow feels the most and least fitting at the same time. And coming from him well, it’s almost a compliment. Dare he say, _affectionate_. Gold lets it slide, for now. He’ll tease him for it a different day.

 

He’s able to recover quickly, so no worries.

 

“You’re not going to lose, because I believe in you. And I know you’re gonna win.” Gold smiles as he’s able to catch Silver off guard this time by his sincerity. But to keep it from getting _too_ sweet, Gold makes sure to add a snarky, “And when don’t I get my way?”

 

 _Well besides that one time_ , Gold almost wants to say. But he doesn’t want to rub salt in a bitter old wound.

 

Something about his words seem to get the job done. There’s a flash in Silver’s eyes and Gold can tell by how he purses his lips that what he meant really did have an impact. It’s just too bad that he can’t tell exactly what they meant to Silver. Were they comforting at all, or did it just serve to annoy him into going along with it to shut Gold up?

 

From his shoulder, Pichu pipes up with her own chattering squeaks and encouraging hand waves and suddenly Silver’s laughing at her, the attention blissfully turned away from Gold.

 

“She thinks you can do it too.” He points out, Pichu eagerly nodding her agreement.

 

Then she’s hopping of Gold’s shoulder onto Silver’s. Just briefly, Gold can see the way he softens at her affection, before hardening to cool indifference once more.

 

“I guess if she thinks I can, then I will.” Silver concedes with a bitter tone.

 

Hey, still counts.

 

Pichu cheers her approval and sparks her cheeks, butting her head against Silver until he finally caves and pets her. Silent relief fills Gold as well, as it usually does when he’s able to talk the redhead into doing things he doesn’t first agree to, or when he leaves his comfort zone.

 

Quietly, Gold wonders if he’s the only person who could do this to Silver. Would he ever trust anyone else to do something he doesn’t want to? He’s not sure, but it doesn’t matter what he means to Silver.

 

He’s pretty sure he already knows, anyway.

 

So instead of dwelling on it, he begins explaining the details of the match, the precautions set up and the level change for Silver being an older trainer. Though clearly bored the entire time, Silver puts up with listening to it all, and by the end Gold doesn’t even expect the disinterested “Thanks” he gets for all his work. But, well, it’s a pleasant surprise. He’ll take what he can get at this point.

 

* * *

 

_That day in late April, quite a handful of them have set out to wish Silver good luck for his League challenge._

_And by a handful Gold literally just means him, his mom, Kris, and Green._

_(Do either him or Silver ever talk to anybody else, good lord.)_

_None of them are obviously allowed to join Silver, since it has to be him all alone, rules and all. They impart what encouragement they can before heading to the viewing room._

_League challenges are always taped, but only occasionally aired. This one will be though. They like the older competitors._

_More skill and interest and all._

_It’s a good fit for Silver, being the trainer that he is. Who wouldn’t want to watch him?_

 

_He’s so graceful. Calm. Hypnotizing._

_Gold finds himself focusing more on Silver than the battles he’s facing. His body language, his tone, his face, his commands._

_How he calls one thing and his Pokemon do another. A strategy to substitute for his predictable offense. Genius._

_The power his Pokemon have. Silver has spent years putting all his effort towards making his team as strong as possible and it shows well._

_Such an amazing trainer._

_~~Gold’s such a sucker for him, it’s downright humiliating and he knows it.~~ _

_As Silver heads down the long hallway towards Lance’s room, Gold wants so badly to break in and wish him luck one last time._

_It’s not like Silver needs the luck. Not with practiced skill like what he has._

_And when Lance’s last Pokemon hits the ground after an intense battle perfectly made for a TV special, Gold’s already on his feet, running (well, speed-walking) towards the Champion’s chamber._

_He kept thinking this entire time about how he’s not sure what Silver was so worried about. Of course he would win._

_But maybe Gold sees something in him that Silver can’t._

 

* * *

 

By the time they finally reach the Hall of Fame, Gold's somehow meters ahead of everybody else despite the fact that he wasn’t even walking fast. Lance and Silver are exiting the recording room, quietly conversing between each other. The air between them seems...tense, for whatever reason. But with the type of people they are, that might just be normal for them.

 

Gold stops near them then looks behind him and waits for the others to show up, making a jokingly dramatic deal of how slow they are to roll his eyes.

 

Green walks even slower just to spite him.

 

Figures.

 

When Gold looks back in front of him he realizes something pretty pointless.

 

It’s...a little funny, seeing them stand next to each other. Lance easily casts an imposing figure on any given day, but with Silver next to him, noticeably taller with an even more intimidating glower, well…

 

He looks kinda like a ridiculous, cape-wearing old guy.

 

Okay, Gold snickers a little. He has to keep turn around and cover his mouth to muffle it, and his mom is definitely glaring at him for that one, but he’s able to pull himself together by the time he turns around. Both Lance and Silver are giving him weird looks, and a mildly annoyed vibe is coming from the latter, but Gold just grins and waves them off.

 

There’s no professors, no reporters, no anything like that that Gold had once he exited the Hall of Fame. Maybe those things aren’t normal for the everyday victor.

 

He still hopes Silver gets his fifteen minutes of fame at least, the guy deserves it.

 

Once Lance says his goodbyes and wishes them all well, there’s no reason to stay, either. So thus begins the annoyingly long trek down the long hallways and chambers back to the reception room. His mom is busy chattering praises and how proud she is to Silver, and Green is complimenting his battle strategy, and Kris naturally is talking Silver’s ear off. Gold doesn’t even try to get a word in.

 

But luckily enough, they all start to repeat themselves enough that Silver looks a tad bit over it all. So taking this chance, Gold decides to finally speak up.

 

“I knew you could do it.” He jabs at him, taking the attention away from everybody else. Silver shoots him a tired glare, and makes the effort to roll his eyes for him.

 

“Tch, shut up.”

 

Gold does the opposite of that, pestering Silver with a million questions instead.

 

“How was it? How do you feel?” He keeps going, not bothering to let Silver answer anything. “Was it everything you wanted?”

 

By now, his mom, Kris and Green must take some sort of cue to hang behind a little to talk between themselves. It’s pretty weird how chummy they all got while Gold was away but...he tries not to let his thoughts wander, instead keeping his focus on Silver. Who shrugs his response, at first.

 

“Well, I just wanted to battle the Dragon Trainer. But now that I’ve beaten all of the Elite Four, it does feel good.” Silver hesitates, clenches his fist, trying to find the right word. Settles on, ”Fulfilling.”

 

“Like your journey’s finally finished now?” Gold asks knowingly.

 

“Yeah.” Silver nods, then pauses once again, brows furrowing before he meets Gold’s eyes. “Did it suck to finish your journey so young?”

 

“A little. But I don’t regret it.” He stops for a moment, not sure what to say next. But he’s feeling confident and light, maybe too much so. His sappiness feels justified even if he does sound dumb saying it. “Silv, not to sound like a jackass, but I’m really proud of you.”

 

For a moment, Silver’s eyes grow wider, and cheeks start to flush more and more. Even as his surprise turns to irritation, and his eyes narrow, Gold can’t help but grin at it all.

 

“Shut up.”

 

...

 

They’re at the League exit before long, and with that comes a decision: to stay or to leave. Everybody else seems ready to go home already, but Silver doesn't seem to. Gold can almost read his mind, and offers to stay behind with, to keep him company. He’s not sure if it’s appreciated or not, but Silver doesn’t protest.

 

Green exchanges a look with Kris, then promises she’ll make sure his mom would get home comfortably. Laughs when Gold jokes about Kris being the one he was actually worried for. Kris scowls at him the entire time before they actually leave.

 

His mom gives Silver one last hug, tight and squeezy, and pecks a kiss of Silver’s forehead as she once again reiterates how proud she is of him. All of which would probably be super embarrassing if they weren’t all used to how affectionate she was.

 

The rest of them have the decency to turn their heads away and Gold pretends like he totally didn’t see how red in the face his rival was.

 

(Rival? That’s a pretty childish thing to still be calling him, especially since they really aren’t anymore.

 

...For some reason, that thought makes him a little sad.)

 

Once the girls leave, it’s just him and Silver. Neither of them know what to do at first, but in with forgotten ease, Gold’s making conversation and walking down the insane number of steps outside the Indigo Plateau. The day has gone well, so amazingly well, and right now he feels the closest to Silver he has in a long, long time.

 

In a moment of true bravery, and maybe too much unfounded confidence, Gold carefully reaches his hand close, brushes it against Silver’s...

 

Only for the redhead to pull his hand back and cross his arms, still talking as he looks away from Gold.

 

And that’s...something he should’ve expected, really. A boundary that was stupid to try to cross. It stings, but Gold reasons with himself that this is what he should’ve expected. The conversation continues like normal, and Silver doesn’t run away, that’s all that matters.

 

But it...it bothers him. Gold doesn’t let it show, he never would. He just...

 

Well, he tries to ignore the sinking pit in his stomach.

 

But when it eats away at him, day by day, and plucks at the delicate strings of his heart it’s...getting to him. It really is.

 

...

 

It takes a while for a plaque to get put up.

 

There’s a photo that needs to be taken, a name and a date to be inscribed, it has to be published to both personal and public records, blah blah blah. Gold’s never cared much for this time-consuming process called “waiting”, and much like him, Silver’s about the same. So when he gets a call that it’s up, both him and Gold rush down immediately.

 

When they get there, there’s actually a few people there wanting to interview Silver for whatever battle magazines and such they represent. Silver's not taking over as Champion, since Lance probably would've had a mental breakdown if anybody but him was in charge, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have to deal with some questioning from the press about his victory. Gold decides to let him fend them all off for himself, earning a glare from the redhead as he’s abandoned, and continues down the hallway to find the record.

 

It’s hung up at the end, of course.

 

Two columns to the side of Gold’s, coincidentally the same row.

 

The picture of Silver with his team behind him, imposing and fierce looking, is absolutely cool as hell. One of those images that belong on a poster somewhere to inspire some kid to wanna grow up and become a trainer as cool as that guy is.

 

Then his eyes wander to the data, and suddenly he freezes.

 

Everything at first seems normal, all things he already knew. What Pokemon were used, what their levels were, who their trainer was...that’s what catches the eye.

 

The name. The last name.

 

It’s not Silver’s last name. Gold doesn’t know what it actually is, but he doesn’t need to. Not for this.

 

Because prefacing Silver’s ridiculous name is Gold’s own surname.

 

Down to the kanji. Perfectly the same.

 

He should know Silver’s reasoning behind it, like he knows so many other things. But for the life of him, he’s stumped. Is it because he feels like family? Did Gold get, family-zoned or something? Or is it because Silver doesn’t want to use his last name for legal purposes? Or angry purposes? Something like that.

 

Is it supposed to act as a ‘thank you’? And if so, is it to Gold, or to his mom?

 

There’s so many things he wants to question that he can’t bring himself to do.

 

It’s not a big deal and Gold knows this. But something about it just...makes him feel something. It’s a whole lotta something is what it is. And it doesn’t sit well at all, for whatever reason.

 

Or maybe the funny feeling is just...something else entirely.

 

Gah. He’s all over the place. It’s not a real problem.

 

In short time, Silver’s coming up to him, clearly still put out by Gold ditching him. It’s something he must get over quickly, once he sees his record on the wall. A feeling akin to pride, or relief, or whatever makes his normally terse expression relax, daringly close to a smile.

 

He doesn’t mean to watch, but Gold can’t take his eyes off him, even if his life depended on it.

 

Silver must notice Gold staring at him, because before long, he’s turning his head to him as well. His eyes study his face, pale and colorless and ever so pretty nonetheless, trying to figure out what Gold himself is feeling.

 

He must've misjudged, because he just smirks at him. Cocks his head to the side a little, and asks, “Are you with me, space cadet?”

 

And with it, Gold’s heart stutters, and he gives him a grin in return, even if it is a fake one. He feels the subtle brush of a hand against his own, chilly and thin. Maybe it’s a dick move, but Gold still pulls his hand away, pockets it into his jacket.

 

He looks at Silver pointedly from the corner of his eye. His expression is neutral now, the smirk long gone, but there’s no hurt or betrayal to him.

 

There’s a message Gold’s sending with what he did, and he prays that Silver can pick up on it.

 

They’re both so obvious now, and for some reason they’re still putting on this dodgy show. Whatever issues Silver had before clearly aren't still a thing, so why is this happening? Gold for one, is sick of it. Especially because even with his frustrations, his heart beats a mile a minute thinking of the twinkle in Silver’s eyes and the shape of his smile on a permanently unwelcoming face.

 

God, how can he keep letting him do this to him? They’re nothing, nothing at all, and yet somehow everything together at once.

 

Gold has never cared for this waiting game called “patience”. Yet here he is still, and for the life of him, he can’t figure out why.

 

~~Yes he can.~~

~~And it kills to know he’d wait forever if he had to.~~

 

* * *

 

_Another birthday passes._

_They’re not even noteworthy anymore, not really. What happens different than anything before?_

_Nothing. Sweets, dinner, friends, gifts, hugs he pretends he doesn’t want._

_No hugs from a person he does want them from._

_All these months and he’s so into Silver. And for what?_

_It’s always the same closeness, same jokes, same feeling too much in his heart and too little in his head._

_And nothing happening from it._

_He’s not ungrateful for what he has, just...bored. ~~~~_

_Since seeing Silver battle at the League made him realize a very bitter, bitter thought:_

_Gold is sorta…_

_Unhappy with his life._

_Nineteen, and already so worn out. But he peaked as a kid, where else can he go?_

_He’s lost his chance at escape He can’t run up to Mt. Silver or out to Olivine on anywhere on any day he wants now. His freedom is so restricted._

_And his jobs. God._

_Gold’s not burnt out on them, he’s managing them just fine. There’s nothing wrong with them._

_He likes the kids in Violet, and the Pokemon he rescues, and tolerates the ones in Goldenrod._

_But they’re so…_

_”Normal”._

_Sure, he’s thought about quitting and running off again. But now he feels this responsibility to keep his working for the stability it has._

_A steady income, steady hours, steady things to do._

_His mom is proud of him. And with how rotten he was as a kid, doesn’t she deserve to know his future is secure now?_

_He doesn’t want to disappoint her anymore._

_~~Yeah yeah problem child he already knows.~~ _

_And the promise of his own gym one day feels further and further away._

_Gold can't help but long for more._

_For something exciting and new._

_..._

_When Gold was eleven years old, he accomplished so much._

_He can still remember that elevator ride up to the observatory in the Radio Tower._

_Still remembers how the wind blew in his face atop the Bell Tower._

_Remembers the roaring in his ears after Lance’s final Pokemon fell._

_Now all he has are memories._

_And let’s face it, a lot of them aren’t even happy ones._

_Or they’re not anymore._

_..._

_As he lay in his too-small childhood bed at night, staring up at the same ceiling as he did all his life, Pichu sleeping away on his chest, Gold can’t help but ask himself time and time again:_

_Where did it go wrong?_

_~~And why is doing everything right with life somehow wrong to him?~~ _

 

* * *

 

There’s a pattern to living that Gold’s become a little too observant to. His life seems to run on a constant cycle of ups and downs, highs and lows, victories and losses. And right about now, he feels pretty damn deserving of something to bring him up again.

 

What he expects it to be is a dinner. A little get together between his friends at his house that his mom somehow organized without meaning to.

 

But that’s just where it starts, naturally.

 

It’s no special occasion, not really. It started out with Silver merely asking if he could come over for dinner sometime, and then Green asked to come too, and since she was going of course Kris would as well and suddenly there’s going to be five people eating over when they only have room at the table for four.

 

But all things considered, the good will outweigh the bad.

 

Gold’s kinda had a shit week though.

 

Got in trouble at one of his jobs (luckily, it's the Goldenrod one, which he cares least about) and Pichu got lost in the woods and came back smelling like ass and the moodiness he’s felt the last few months has been hitting him as strongly as usual.

 

So maybe that’s why, instead of being home with his friends and his mom, he’s found himself at the beach.

 

It lies on the east side of New Bark is somewhere he’s somehow found himself more and more lately. The only place he can afford time to escape to anymore. It’s small, and not hardly busy at all, and pretty lame and shoddy compared to the far nicer one in Cherrygrove. But maybe that’s why he likes it. Despite all its imperfections it’s...relaxing. And it feels like home.

 

Decompressing at a lonely beach is probably something he’s picked up from Jasmine, when he thinks about it. It doesn’t matter, anyway.

 

He’s left all his Pokemon back home, since Silver’s got his out of their balls to mingle with about, considering there’s no room for them to roam at his apartment. Which is great, of course.

 

It’s just weird, not having Pichu by his side, but naturally she has her own catching up to do. Gold will make do.

 

His eyes are closed while he listens to the gentle turn of the waves against the shoreline not far away, soaking in the early summer’s heat. Feet in the sand, knees hugged, his chin resting on them, yeah, he’s probably the pinnacle of relaxation.

 

And it would be, if he could ever learn to turn his mind off.

 

Thoughts are distracting, per usual. Enough so that it takes a while for him to hear footsteps softly crunching into the sand, and it isn’t until they’re standing to his side does Gold finally bother to open his eyes.

 

And it’s…

 

Silver.

 

Huh.

 

Looking as disinterested as ever, Gold’s figuring he probably got sent on a retrieval mission by his mom. Figures. He draws his own conclusions and tells Silver that he’ll head home soon, expecting him to walk away without saying anything to him. It wouldn’t be the first time.

 

But to his (mild) surprise, Silver ends up sitting down next to him, a reasonable distance away. Gold only mumbles a small greeting, and gets just that in return. He’s not sure what the hell he wants, but he’ll let him decide when that is. In the meantime, he closes his eyes, and waits.

 

The minutes drag on, to the point where he thinks that maybe there wasn’t any point in him coming out at all. And then...

 

“Can I be honest with you about something?” Silver brings up suddenly. Gold opens his eyes and blinks at him, a bit taken aback, but he nods anyway.

 

“Course Silv.”

 

“You’re not allowed to get mad. Because if you do, I’m leaving.” He warns in a too-serious voice, making Gold raise an eyebrow.

 

“Noted. What’s on your mind?”

 

Silver takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, his position similar to Gold's own.

 

“I’ve been pretending for a while now, and I’m pretty tired of it.” He starts, rather abruptly.

 

Gold looks at him surprised, unsure of where this is going, though still staying quiet.

 

“When you asked me out before, I turned you down because I was afraid of a lot of things. But mostly, of it ending.” Silver admits as he continues, his tone shifting to something more cynical sounding as he carries on. “Partially since you were such a man-whore, no offense, and partially because nothing ever seems to work out for me in that department.”

 

Despite the ‘no offense’, Gold can’t help but be a _little_ offended. Enough so he has to interject his defense in the poutiest voice he can.

 

“Not a man-whore, just sayin’.”

 

Which is only a _little_ untrue and, like, is Silver really anyone to be judging him anymore.

 

Silver, who’s glaring his annoyance at him now.

 

“Will you let me finish?” He sneers, and Gold raises his hands up defensively, keeping his mouth shut. Silver huffs. “Thank you. As I was saying, that’s why I turned you down. You were right, it wasn’t because I didn’t like you. I...liked you a lot, as a matter of fact.”

 

Oh.

 

Okay.

 

This is...not the direction Gold figured his day would be going, but he’s not going to protest. No more jokes, time to act serious now.

 

Curiosity gets the better of him, and he can’t help but ask, “Do you still like me?”

 

And he’s waiting, _expecting_ , to get struck down again, like when he confessed so long ago. But unlike last time...

 

“Yeah.” Silver agrees, picking at his nails nervously, as if to take the edge off. Much to Gold’s dismay, he changes the subject quickly to something he’s long forgotten by now. “I realize I said a lot of awful things to you then. It might’ve been things you needed to hear, but it wasn’t the time.”

 

God, he’s still reeling over the fact that Silver actually _admitted_ to liking him. Why the hell would he care about that other thing?

 

“Don’t worry about it.” Gold reassures him, voice light and playful in an attempt to calm Silver down. It must work, since Silver stops the picking. “It was actually pretty good timing. Helped me pull my head out of my ass.”

 

“About fucking time.” Silver huffs in amusement, shaking his head. “But anyway. I think I’ve been pretending that I don’t like you, and I never would. So much so I tried to move on and replace you with different guys but...they just weren’t you, I guess.”

 

See this is what he meant, that’s man-whore behavior. But the slight twinge of embarrassment in Silver’s eyes before he turns his head away is a feeling Gold knows as well. And, well, of course he doesn’t hold anything against him for it, he never did.

 

Hearing him admit _why_ though, that they weren’t Gold, that makes him feel...feel something. Something hopeful, maybe.

 

Silver continues to talk, and Gold doesn’t dare interrupt. Especially since he knows, or well, _hopes_ , he’s right about what he’s saying next.

 

“I think I trust you now honestly. Enough to know you actually give a shit. And so uh, not to sound like a total loser going back on everything he lied about believing, but I guess I would like to try dating you.” He hesitates, shooting Gold a near-vulnerable look. “If you still have a thing for me, that is.”

 

Okay, hope justified. Victory achieved. Holy shit. Not what he was expecting as a pick-me-up but fuck if won’t take it.

 

Now just time to not mess it up.

 

...Buuuut he can harmlessly toy with him for a second, right?

 

Too bad, he is.

 

“Hmmm, I don’t know.” Gold taps his chin for a moment, pretending as if he actually has to think about it. It’s only when he notices Silver’s bemused expression does he finally cave with a laugh. “I’m kidding. I’d like that a lot, honestly.”

 

At that cheeky sincerity, Silver sighs in relief. And Gold is all ready to drag him into a hug and proclaim the sappiest shit he can think of and move forward in life with him.

 

But then of course Silver starts talking again.

 

“I think that, even though it’ll end one day, I want to at least be with you. For however long that is, I don’t care.” He looks at Gold directly, expression solemn, but there’s a ghost of a smile on his lips. “As long as I get to experience it, I’ll be happy.”

 

Ah, figures.

 

Can’t have anything be _too_ cheerful without Silver getting all depressing on him. Even with the expected being expected, something about his certainty rubs Gold the wrong way.

 

But he doesn’t let it show, only rolling his eyes at him instead. “We aren’t going to break up though, dummy.”

 

“We will. One day.” Silver replies matter-of-factly, shrugging. “Not like I’m hoping for it, but it’s inevitable. But I don’t want to live in fear of losing you when I never had you to begin with.”

 

Gold raises an eyebrow at him. “Okay, that’s a good mindset I guess. Except you’re not losing me, ever.”

 

“If you say so.”

 

“You’re bumming me out Silv.” He tells him with a huff and a frown. “Isn’t this supposed to be a happy time?”

 

Silver snorts out a laugh and brushes his hair out of his face, not looking at Gold. There’s seriously no telling if this is just some elaborate joke, or if he’s actually serious about this bullshit he’s spouting.

 

“Depends.” He retorts, almost coyly.

 

From there, Gold doesn't know where to go. Neither does Silver, apparently.

 

...Well, this is already off to kinda a bad start.

 

And maybe it’s just him but there’s a bit of awkward tension in the air now. This is...not how he was hoping things would go, but it’s not over yet at least. Gold puffs his cheeks out and tries to think, knowing he’s got to say something to remedy the situation before it drags on too long.

 

Out of ideas, he goes with the first thing that comes to mind.

 

“...So...uh. Do we hold hands now or something?”

 

Silver clears his throat, brushing his hair out of his face again, still looking away from him.

 

“I guess.”

 

Good enough.

 

With only a beat of hesitation, Gold reaches between them, slowly entangling their fingers together. There’s just a momentary pause before Silver’s squeezing his hand in return, and Gold relishes in the feeling.

 

It’s stupid, but he’s been waiting so long for this, and it finally feels right now.

 

He feels...so much. So much he doesn’t know how to place it. Joy, and excitement, and a delayed adrenaline rush over the fact that all of this happened so suddenly.

 

And relief, too. Not for the fact that Silver’s come around, but because no matter how numb Gold is to the rest of his life, his body is still brimming with energy and his heart still pounds just by this alone.

 

It’s relief that his feelings aren’t dead. That no matter how long this got drug out he never stopped caring.

 

Gold feels so happy he’s willing to ask something dumb, like...

 

“Should I kiss you too?”

 

“Tch, you sound stupid asking that.” Silver scoffs, turning his head away even more from Gold quickly, likely to hide his embarrassment. He’s quiet for a few beats, then he’s mumbling, “Let’s...hold off on that for now.”

 

Although he knows he can’t see him, Gold nods anyway, and enjoys the feeling of what they have. The waves fill the quiet as they crash against the shore in front of them, soothing in a way he can’t explain.

 

Before long, Silver’s laying his head on his shoulder, and in return Gold squeezes his hand and leans his head on top of his. This position seems so familiar, so reassuring and warm. His heart feels like it could burst from how full it is, as cheesy as it is to say, and in that moment he never wants this feeling to end.

 

“Hey Gold?” Silver speaks up after minutes of comfortable silence, and Gold immediately gives him his full attention.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I’m sorry for making us wait this long. For this.” He nods towards their hands then pauses. A grin creeps its way onto his lips that makes Gold feel even warmer inside looking at it. Smiles are rare, but grins are once in a lifetime from Silver. “But I’m happy. Right now. I’m happy.”

 

God, yeah that’s the right word for this.

 

Sure there’s something more elaborate to describe this feeling, but that’s what Gold was looking for. ‘Happiness’, plain and simple. After all the work and heartbreak it took to get here, sitting there with Silver, seeing him grin that way, their hands intertwined, it all feels so, so worth it.

 

Almost too good to be true. But it is true. And that’s what matters.

 

So Gold grins as well, and tells him, without a beat of hesitation, “I’m happy too.” And he is. He’s happier than he has been for a long time.

 

* * *

_Going from enemies to friends to awkward friends to friends again and then to boyfriends is a slippery slope to climb._

_In his head, Gold’s trying to go about it the same way Kris and Green did._

_Friends who makeout and whatever, right?_

_Well, easier said than done._

_Mostly because he’s not sure how to even kiss him in the first place._

_They’re a few weeks into their relationship and the most they’ve done is held hands and laid over each other on the couch._

_Not the most scandalous, really._

_It’s difficult trying to not force it. He’s tried proper dates and movie nights but he’s chickened out each time._

_He’s sure once they get their first kiss in, it’ll be better._

_But after so much drawn out pining and years of awkward tension, it’s not going to come easily._

_..._

_It does happen though._

 

_He’s staying the night at Silver’s place. It’s still a little weird to share a bed so Gold’s content crashing on the couch. No biggie._

_Gold rises before Silver, like always. He helps himself to whatever he feels like in Silver’s fridge, like normal._

_Gets jumped and dragged to the floor by Silver once he gets caught, per usual._

_And they’re struggling on the carpet, trying to shove the other down long enough to pin them, acting like a bunch of immature jackasses._

_Before long, he’s got Silver held down underneath him, his arms pinned behind his back while he cusses and tries to thrash away._

_Once Silver concedes to his loss, he turns his head to shoot a glare up at Gold._

_Then, without hardly thinking about it, Gold finally leans down and kisses him._

_And then he does it again. And again. On his lips, on his cheeks, on his nose; all over his face until he has Silver laughing and squirming again trying to get free._

_When he does, Silver socks Gold in both his arms, right before he wraps his own around Gold’s neck and kisses him too._

_So Gold kisses back._

_Then Silver’s got him in a chokehold, grinning as he sneers about having the upper hand. Between coughs and sputters and smacking Silver’s chest, Gold’s laughing and throwing taunts right back at him._

_And it’s not romantic. Not really. It’s not the thing Gold’s seen in movies or on TV or ever pictured it to be._

 

_Instead, it’s them._

_Stupid and rough and messy and maybe a bit too casual and simple. But that’s what they are, after all._

_Gold wouldn’t change it for the world._

 

* * *

 

It’s miracle season.

 

Arceus himself must’ve descended from whatever make-believe land he came from to bless them all. Because within the short time span of a couple months, Silver has asked him out, Gold’s allowed himself the dignity of quitting his job in Goldenrod and nobody got mad at him for it, and most important of all:

 

Red finally came down from that god-forsaken mountain.

 

It’s official. The end of the world has happened. The end-times are near, because why else would Red ever want to leave Mt. Silver to come join the realm of all the plebeian normie trainers and grace the nation with his presence.

 

(Gold makes that joke to Green, who just glares at him like it’s some sort of sensitive subject. Maybe for _them_ , but last time he checked Red loved being on that stupid mountain.

 

...Right.)

 

Green informs him of the happy news almost as soon as she gets the shocked text from Blue about it. And if she failed to come through, well, the actual news is buzzing to life with reports and shaky videos of the legendary Champion coming home and doing crazy things like…

 

Getting the mail. And sitting at home. And sitting at home some more. And then closing the blinds.

 

Totally sick.

 

But naturally, both Gold and her are planning on heading over as soon as possible. Alone, since nobody they know from Johto would also probably knows Red, except Blue. Who’s already been spending most of his time over there anyway.

 

Probably for the best. Red is great and all but the guy’s kinda known for not liking extreme socialization either so it’s definitely good to keep strangers away, lest him and Green be responsible for sending him straight back up the mountain.

 

He thinks Kris would get along with them. Red would maybe like to hear her knowledgeable takes on Pokemon behavior, and Blue’s studied as a researcher too, for some reason.

 

Silver though?

 

They’d probably hate Silver. And Silver would probably hate them.

 

Maybe Gold should feel bad about that thought, but honestly, he doesn’t. Silver is a difficult person; he knows that more than anyone else. It really doesn’t matter to him who Silver does and doesn’t get along with, as long as he’s getting along with Gold.

 

So he just decides to take Pichu with him, knowing how much both Red and Blue got along with her. And of course Green too, since y’know, her idea and all.

 

The flight to Pallet Town takes a few hours, but it’s clear skies and good weather, so it could be worse. There’s something about the place that so fondly reminds Gold of home. Probably all the similarities the towns have, duh. The beach, the smallness, the lab, they're basically the same.

 

They show up and are quickly welcomed in by Red’s mom. The atmosphere is warm and Blue’s still in the other room, chatting away at a very tense looking Red.

 

Didn’t even acknowledge Gold and Green’s presence. Just kept talking.

 

Incredible.

 

Gold wonders if Red feels awkward, being surrounded by so many people. Apparently Oak and Blue’s sister were just here earlier that day too, and judging by how on edge Red seems, he must be pretty sick of all this socializing.

 

So sadly, Gold knows this won’t be a long visit.

 

Blue and Red are as easy for Gold to talk to as ever. As in, not really, but he puts in his best effort.

 

After a while, he notices how Green’s been watching the two of them, like she’s picking up on something Gold’s not. All he's noticed is how much Red's cleaned up since he came home, how much better he looks now, and really, that's for the best interest of everyone, not just Blue. Still he’ll have to ask her about it later, because it’s too hard to carry a conversation while also looking for some sort of subtext he’s missing.

 

Red’s mom is there too, not saying much, just serving tea, being as quietly intimidating as her son.

 

Which is fine. This is her house and all.

 

By total surprise to no one, most of the conversation is between Gold, Green and Blue, with Red mostly amusing himself with reuniting with Gold’s Pichu. All while his Pikachu watches them jealously from Green’s lap.

 

Yeah, Gold’s keeping his eye on that little rat. He better not even think of doing anything to his darling sweetheart.

 

(Yuck. When did he become _that_ trainer.)

 

But in time though, the topics start to weaken and their conversing naturally dies off. It’s nearing the afternoon too, so they’ll probably need to leave soon anyway. That’s when Gold decides to be risky and go for it.

 

The big question on everybody’s minds. Earlier, both Blue and Red’s mom shot him a pointed look like the first time he tried to bring it up, but he doesn’t care really anymore.

 

So he asks why Red decided to come down Mt. Silver after all this time.

 

To his credit, Red doesn’t seem bothered by it at all. He merely shrugs and makes a motion to, uh, some sort of letter on the coffee table.

 

Gold eyes it, not wanting to be invasive and actually read it. There’s a seal on the brightly patterned paper that seems super obvious, but he has no idea what it is.

 

So he just dumbly states that he doesn’t know what that is.

 

Red and Blue exchange a look that’s meaning flies way over Gold’s head. He glances at Green and notices she’s giving him a similar one too. Confusion, maybe? Bewilderment? It’s something Gold can’t quite place.

 

Then it hits him.

 

There’s something they know that he doesn’t, definitely relating to what that letter is. And judging by their expressions, his obliviousness is a complete surprise.

 

...Suddenly, he feels kinda anxious.

 

“What?” He asks, borderline frantic and feeling extremely stupid. “What did I miss?”

 

They’re apprehensive, or at least, Blue and Green are, like he might fly off the handle once he hears it. Gold’s absolutely positive he won’t until...

 

Well, until he hears what it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took them long enough, yeah?
> 
> Trust me though, Gold's story is far from being over. As evident by the 6 more chapters left, obviously. Points to anyone who guesses what's going on next. I should also mention that the next two chapter almost completely happen in the course of a week. You might ask, what the hell happened that caused all of that to go down? You'll have to wait and see >:3c
> 
> Also I'm still kinda on the fence about splitting up chapters? Idk :/ this one was extremely long and the past few ones have been too. I guess I want to make sure this fic is as good as I can get it, so, shorter or longer chapters? Lemme know ig ;o
> 
> Comments and kudos always loved though <3 thank you all so so much for the support you've given this fic! <33333
> 
> Twitter: lemon_lime0  
> Tumblr: lemon-lime0

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback always loved!! I appreciated everything so <3 lemme know what you think so far! This is my first time posting a fic so, yeah lemme know watcha think!
> 
> (Also if you see any typos or weird editing errors lemme know!)


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